Post #301 Not Yet There

Welcome back to my joshgumbi domain.

So after an amazing November, a majority of December was emotional drama within myself. Most of the time I kept telling myself to just calm down. I can get very emotional, but that's besides the point. My Christmas, as you can see below, was a bit stressful. I know that my parents age, just like I do, but I would have never thought I'd be spending Christmas at Alta Bates Hospital. Fortunately, my father decided to just go with the surgery, sooner the better. I would think that he's up and ready to party, but we shall see.

What can I say, the joey lifestyle is not an easy one. Any life has its struggles and frustrations. I don't get where I am. I'm ready to just leave. Actually, it is impossible for me to leave because I have work. It is the work schedule. The final work week of 2005 is 230am to 11am. Did I mention I was two and half hours late to work this morning. Crazy? Yes!!!

note: Writing and reading is me.

Champion!!!

My dad is the strongest person I know, a survivor, and my hero.



This is our Christmas 2005, the night before surgery.

Merry Christmas 2006

Dad's in hospital...surgery scheduled tomorrow. This is how 2005 is going to finish.

The Truth Prevails

The most honest conversation happened tonight. After a week of wondering, we had a heart to heart. But before I go into it, this past week has been a bunch of emotions. From sad to happy to depressed to vulnerable to jealous to content, humans must deal with so many emotions. There was a point when I thought my reaction at the formals bored the hell out of her. Seriously, I just don't know how to have fun, or at least look like I'm having fun. Chillin' is what's fun to me. There was also a point when I felt a bit jealous because I had a hunch that there was someone else that had caught her attention. And guess what? I was right. But, no worries, it wasn't like we were together, in love, or ever held hands. The only thing I can do is learn from this and wait until the same thing or something similar happens to me again. My most learned experience is that attachment is temporary, and it only hurts a little if there's no concrete feelings to base the whole depression on.

This evening, we decided to start the conversation with "you've been quiet lately." After going a couple months of endless phone calls and comfortable outings, life caught up to us, and wanting space turned into needing it. As someone who won't ask questions to hear either a good or bad answer, I left the question of "how long" has she been feeling that way toward this guy, not like she has feelings. But, I believe there will no longer be a her and me. Why? If she has the ability to hold back her feelings, then she has the ability to change them if we ever had a chance. The simple signs show us what to and not to pursue.

On the other hand...

Those small feelings are back again. When I saw her at formal, in her orange, bronze type dress, it was beautiful. So, I'm going to go straight for it. If I'm turned down, oh well, 2005 will remain the sucky year. Enter 2006.

note: So what if she has a captain, you'll find your skipper.

Confusion is an Art Form

My life has entered into a situation where my uncertainty has taken over. Just when you think something is right, there's an entity that places a shadow over the thought. There other night, I picked up a friend to eat dinner with. She finished her finals already, so I asked her out on a date. Not really a date because she calls me "Kuya Joey". Plus, during that dinner, I constantly told her that hooking up would destroy the friendship that we have; in a humoristic way.

The conversations could have lasted a lifetime. Lately, I've been told dialogue with me could last forever. But, why is it that after I'm told that, I can no longer prolong my words and thoughts. I mean, if the person(s) I'm sitting with can endure my wordiness, then let's talk all night. It would be even better if you could debate with me. My view is just as good as your view, maybe better.

I'm amazed how my friendship with you has gotten somewhat close. I don't blame you for your lack of trust towards others, especially guys. Though meeting only 5-6 months ago, you put a lot of trust in me; and I thank you.

We spoke on relationships, past and present. According to the topic, I am confused. I don't know what I want. I do know that I'm cursed with emotions. She says, "You're too emotional." I know I am, but there's no need to say it. My curse hinders me getting close to someone. If they don't show interest, I get terribly hurt, but I get over the pain and move on. But, why is it that, the last two have said the exact same thing. I'll keep this particular information to myself, but it just bothers me why anyone would say something like that to someone. Here it is anyway: "If you meet someone else, you should go for it." What is the point of this? Is it a test? Or is this the way it's done now? Honesty is truly hard, but I just find myself raging with regretful thoughts. This is me...being me.

Who or what is the real me? I am an emotional romantic. I believe in wooing a girl for as long as she accepts it. Do I blame myself for getting involved with something that wasn't going to happen? Probably. Sometimes you think you can fight the urge and deal with the consequences, I guess I'm just not there...yet. Now the confusing part starts off with the complexity of the situation. Recently I was told that my facts weren't straight with a particular individual. In other words, she still likes me, but I assume. Talking with DJ Dose, he exclaims my intentions should not be brought up again. But at the same time, when I saw her last Friday, I was just in awe. It wasn't until after when the thoughts of her re-entered my life. Why can't I let my attraction toward her vanish? I continue to tell myself; Because you were never given a reason to let go.

Bottomline: three females, none of whom I'm dating, seeing, or from the looks of it, talking to. two have told me to they're not ready and hook up with the next girl that comes up. the third...you're there, it's just I fear you.

note: GIRLS SUCK!!!

My Needs

With all the things in the world that we can want, there are a few things that one needs to fulfill a lifetime. One, of course, is needing health. Needs can involve life or death situations, things you certainly cannot live without, or the probability that what we want could turn into a definite need. For my needs, they fall under:
-my family.
-my health.
-my friends.
-my God.

As for everything else, those are just things I want. Our needs are straight forward and limited. So with all that over and done with, let's move back into my reality.

Needs (intro)

I need you in my life.
I need you to be strong during these times of misfortune and rough terrain.
I need you to stand me up when my legs can no longer hold me up.
I need you when my humor just isn't funny anymore.

You are me, and I am you.

note: Needing and loving yourself is what comes first.

Wants

I want this. I want that. I want I want I want. Here is a list of 10 things that better define my wants.

I want...
...chocolate.
...new ice hockey skates.
...PSP.
...happiness.
...Elisha Cuthbert.
...love.
...San Jose Sharks attire.
...an Oreo Cook milkshake.
...IBM Thinkpad Lenova.
...a vacation.

These are all "things" that I could live with or without. Some of the items can obviously be a bit possessive, but some can be put in the questionable category between wants and needs. As I told my twinkling star, wants are temporary. We could live happily with our wants, but we can also manage ourselves with what's given to us already. People buy things that satisfy leisure. There are points where what we want is actually our needs at the same time, but we'll keep it at wants.

The list above expresses some of my recent wants. In no particular order, I could want these things, but I can live without the San Jose Sharks. Although, would I want to, probably not? I am dedicated to my passion of ice hockey. Although, I can live without it. One of the topics that really is questionable is happiness. Everyone wants to be happy. Is happiness mandatory in our lives? Of course not. Most of the time, people are content with life, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're truly happy. I know some who just act like their happy just to get through the hard times. I'm speaking random thoughts that keep repeating.

It would be nice to see or take a picture of Elisha Cuthbert. If I never get to do this in my lifetime, oh well, live on. Another want that could be without. Knowing who I am makes this very questionable. As a comedic romantic, love takes a big part in my life. I want to love. I want to love someone. I want someone to love me. BUT. Love needs to be true. And that's my view of the human wants. For now.

note: Pain and agony is only temporary. Enduring the vulnerability is knowing that you can get over the distress.

philosophy: One who learns to love must first master loss.

Wants & Needs

Unfortunately, I'm just waiting for a friend to finish showering so a group of us can go eat. In the meantime, I'll leave the true topic to be discussed or thought of for future posts. As for life issues, I've been content. The other night, I went to go see Mango Kings at Hukilau SJ. They are a band amongst many that will always have crowd appeal. They sing a lot of the songs that my dad sang when I used to watch him and his many bands. Is it my fault that I'm born musically inclined? Of course not. I love music, rhythm, pattern, harmony, melody, beats, and all that juicy stuff. Whenever a tune comes on, I immediately head for the harmony. Melody doesn't really appeal to me since I'm not necessarily a very good soloist. I can at least hold a note or two. Let me mention that falling asleep with you next to me is hilarious. Honestly, I was tired, but I'll stay awake if you want me to. It won't be productive, but at least...whatever. Ha!

Precious moments: trying to pinch your palm.

Last nights gig seemed productive. I sensed teamwork when it came to featuring different aspects of the night; this being setup, sound check, video check, lighting check, clarity, the entrance set, program set, visual set, dance set, musician set(which we don't usually do), party set, and, last but not least, break down.

Talking and slight chat with a particular individual made my night abnormal. I probably should have assumed she would be there. It was great to see everyone and her again. But she was a part of my life that put a strong push on my life about choosing and pickiness. There is no reason to get attached so quickly. Being a hypocrite to my own words, there will always be a tomorrow and must realize that the right person to make us happy won't come so easily. With time and patience, the hand that fits mine will surely fit perfectly.

note: Can't Help Falling

Can't Stop The Satisfaction

I saw Rent last night. When I found out that it was going to be a move, thanks Alexis, I immediately counted the days until I got to see it. I don't plan on ruining the movie for those that haven't seen it, so...

Great Mall's theatre air conditioning seemed to fail because the temperature was hot, or maybe it was the person sitting to the left of me. WINK. Unfortunately, I think it was my fault for my complaint because I kept my jacket on. Although, when listening to the singing voice of Mimi, it didn't really seem like it was her voice. But, her voice was mesmerizing.

Congratulations to Ryan & Dar for their second baby, even though only 3 months conceived.

Thanksgiving to those who give thanks for accepting their life, lifestyle, and style of living. Thank you all.

Lastly, twelve hours ago, I was sitting on a couch watching television and asking and answering questions. I brought up the question game, but I'm glad that getting to know someone can be fun. Can't forget about the Wedding Tool Cake - A man's cake.

note: I'm down to watch Rent again and sing along louder than the first time.

http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/rent/onesongglory.htm
One Song Glory Lyrics
[ROGER]

One song
Glory
One song
Before I go
Glory
One song to leave behind
Find one song
One last refrain
Glory
From the pretty boy front man
Who wasted opportunity
One song
He had the world at his feet
Glory
In the eyes of a young girl
A young girl
Find glory
Beyond the cheap colored lights
One song
Before the sun sets
Glory -- on another empty life
Time flies -- time dies
Glory -- One blaze of glory
One blaze of glory -- glory
Find
Glory
In a song that rings true
Truth like a blazing fire
An eternal flame
Find
One song
A song about love
Glory
From the soul of a young man
A young man
Find
The one song
Before the virus takes hold
Glory
Like a sunset
One song
To redeem this empty life
Time flies
And then - no need to endure anymore
Time dies
[ROGER is interrupted by a sharp knock on the door.]
[It is MIMI MARQUEZ, a beautiful stranger from downstairs.]

The door

Only Thinking Can Bring Me Down

I've been letting myself get in the shoot me, I don't care type of mode. I put myself in situations where my mind goes beyond it's capacity. I was aware of this emotion, and I reminded myself to live life. Somewhere down the line, I just let down my guard and found myself in a terrible rut. This is why I must start living life again. Once before, I was running my life pretty straight forward.

What is my meaning of Life?
My meaning of Life is experience what comes at you. Everyday is believed to be your last. Even though we take advantage of the word "tomorrow", humanity will gamble with that fact. I don't see anyone living like today was their last day to live. My goal is to live to 75. The night before I turn 76, I'm going to die on the ice. No one is going to stop me from collapsing on the ice with a heart attack. Other than that, life was made to continue a cycle that has been going on for decades, if not sooner, centuries. We must take on obstacles to achieve our own goals and fulfill those of our mothers and fathers. The most important is to find true love, or some type of love, and extend the cycle.

For now, I've got to stop trying to read the situation.

New & Improved?

So, my work had a store meeting today which was the usual type of situation. A slight difference changed the mood of all 40 employees present. Our store manager, Sid, has been promoted to Regional Trainer for the company. Even though I was brought into the store with the previous manager before Sid, I was a bit dumbfounded when the news hit the stands. I guess all the motivation that he advised me seems to be nonsense now that he's leaving. Change is the momentum that makes life worthwhile. Adjustment is the key to making a goal achievable.

For every goal, there is an obstacle standing (or sitting) in our way. Take on the struggle and bare with the challenges that lie in front of you.

"If baseball was easy, everyone would be doing it." - Tom Hanks A League of their Own

ps. Don't wait for the easy to finally make its way.

Happy birthday to my one and only mother. I thank you for giving me life.

What's Wrong

Imagine this:

The evening has become a blur for some due to the refreshments served. About a dozen individuals were talking, chatting, and laughing as the night was still young. The weather outside was illuminated by the full moon, city lights, and the shine from the indoor fixtures. The environment was comfortable as dialogue was initiated, jokes were made, and elegant music was the tune surrounding the guests.

With drinks in hand, laughter and a positive evening became everything, but dull. A door opens and enters an unexpected guest to this party. He makes his way toward the party with glimpses unknown to their eye. Wearing a nicely put suit with a slightly grey tone in his tie, each step reminds him of the true reason of his journey there.

She entertains her guests with ease and the ability to keep everyone upbeat with the evenings festivities. She is aware that someone had entered the venue, yet didn't get a chance to catch a glimpse of the unknown. In her mind, she wants to believe that it was he who would come through that door. She decides to make her way to the kitchen.

He picks up his drink and heads out of the kitchen, down the hall, and into the main room. Watching his surroundings, he does not see what he is in search for, so he continues on to the exterior. As he exits the room, someone across the room recognizes him and quickly goes toward the kitchen.

As she washes her hands, someone informs her that he has arrived. She doesn't want to be teased, so she does not accept the good news. Having a good time already, she continues onto the party, but keeps in mind the news that was given to her.

He knows she is there, but he begins to feel saddened by the lack of her presence. He picks up his phone, dials in her number but realizes that her phone is nowhere close to her. The beverage reaches the bottom of the cup and he decides to put away his phone, walk back toward the kitchen to serve himself a drink.

She sits on her couch to catch up on things with a friend. The party has grown to nearly a couple dozen guests. The ability to see everyone invited was impossible. She begins to laugh, takes a sip from her drink. With her lips to the cup, she lifts her eyes from her drink and looks across the room. Her eyes open from the sight of a special individual. She interrupts her conversation for reasons known.

He tosses his cup into the trash and exits the opposite door making his way, once again, into the main room. He sits down, coincidentally, onto the same couch that she had just left. The person on the couch next to him introduces themself. He says hello, excuses himself and decides to head out the front door.

She rushes into an empty kitchen. She pads her pockets and realizes her phone is in her room. She walks briskly to her room to find someone outside her window on the sidewalk. Her smile becomes an enormous glow. She takes her eyes off her prey and rushes to the front door. The moment she opens the door, he is there with one arm tucked behind him and in his other hand offering her an orange rose.

ps. May our minds signify the reality of passion.

On the crossroads

The intersection has given everything except the red light. It has come to the point where laying back is an option. Another chapter is starting in my life. The first paragraph is coming to an end and hopefully the flip of the page will bring more interest to my book of life.

Why I do what I do? Josh.Gumbi likes to think of himself as a passive romantic. There are points in his life where he can give his all to a particular, and in return, accept almost nothing in return. These little tidbits could be tiny to the naked eye, but significantly significant to his emotional cranium. Who knows what these little things are, he won't tell. Does anyone know?

Back in my freshmen year of college, I started a website:
hips.htm

I lost the webspace when tripod and lycos merged. I made the e.W.o site on there too. Just a random thought, like always.

As for now, read on playa, read the wacky, yet disturbed life of Josh.Gumbi.

note: Almost 300 entries in 3 years. Almost as amazing as Trendy Vibes.

Truth & Honesty

I miss ^_^. Thanks for remembering me. You make the sun shine on rainy days.

Pictures Are Fun

So, with my weapon in my hand at our club events, and I finally upload the pictures on to my computer. Amazing what you see or what you take a picture of, especially the facials in the background. I was going to share my pictures, but I'll wait. Anyway, one more day with the 5am-130pm schedule, thank goodness, I don't think I can handle this every week. Plus, my sales goal is dropping because I'm not on the floor between 130-4. Grrrr. Anyway, I've received five promotions in one year. And according to my manager, I'll be receiving another one in the near future, assuming I would actually take that position. Manager or continue to struggle with my major. Aya!

Perhaps one day we were sent down from another planet to conquer the world. Sorry, I just decided to put in a random phrase. I was watching Smallville earlier, and I'm up because of my stupid 2-hr. nap. Darn it!

Bottomline, my life has become a sunshine of happiness, yet the only downside is the weather. I'm content with how things are, if any part of my life takes progress or improvement, I'm all for it. Otherwise, head high, back straight and take on the obstacles that lie in the path of my greatness.

note: I wasn't going to even right this much, but hey, let the fingers do the talking.

It's What I Do

ylc: i feel special ^_^
jrh: you are...only if you want to be o";"o
ylc: i am! hahaha coz you made me!
jrh: no, your parents made you
ylc: hahahahahahahah ok, i'll thank my mom and dad for that

s3 phase

Waking up in what once was a mystery is now familiar. With a dab of disorder, the place I sometimes call home on Thursday nights is the place to be. The homies are hospitable during each visit, along with the two puppies that tap their little paws against the hardwood floor. Here's to you Ike and Penny...

Another night with the BMP and Legend folks is getting to me...in a good way of course. What have I gained since the merge. Hmmm? Probably a bit more of confidence, a much more relaxed state, and the ability to make business with friends. It would have to be the hardest thing to do; to do business with friends. As long as their is a similiar goal, the next step is just to make it happen. We all have that enthusiasm toward this business we call Barrelman Productions. As we get older, our knowledge of business furthers into the vast community of diversity. We will strive to succeed, and maybe someday, we, as Filipinos, will put forth the greatest achievement of all, to be what we've longed for, to be Filipino. American culture has turned us into bandwagon individuals. Today's movies have always signified a majority of cultures. Filipinos have begun the strike to get on the silver screen. With homeboy from One Tree Hill that Ale and Camillay gawk over, to the ongoing, yet limited, success of Dante Basco. There are dozens of minds that have been able to put together their creativity in making what we call movies, plays, scripts, so forth. You can't forget Ernie Reyes Jr. for his youthful success in many a movies, yet we all know he played Chinese roles, but hey, we know what his background was...he was a ninja turtle. And last but not least, LDP!!! Lou Diamond Phillips, the man of the hour who has played Latino, Native American, Mexican, and the coolest gangsta in "The Big Hit"(1998). Wow. The guy has come up as an actor, director, producer, and writer. He's my idol. But do you want to know who my American Idol is...

Camile, you're my idol. Even though I was unable to watch you last night to perform, it's all good. But enough of that, watching everyone have a good time at Norcal was a good feeling. The numbers were up, the vibe was way up, and the girl to guy ratio was extremely well brought. Thank you for making it to a party, sorry I was unable to dance with you much. When I'm a part of something, I have to find something to do. While we staff a club event, even though there's a limit on what we could do, we just have to make sure we have a good time, as well as our guests. Oh, for anyone that I hooked up...OH YEAH RIGHT. I didn't hook up anyone. Shhhhhhhhhyaaah(say like Wayne from "Wayne's World" and then put your hair behind your ears and grin).

Denny's was good times. The laughs, the aches and pains, the quick service(rolls eyes), and the phonecalls from booth to booth was good times. I think my fellow table mates, Leah Ulo and Puppy, will always be there, most likely not next time. Gosh. So exclusive! Unfortunately, I didn't get a chance to comment you on your lip ring, it's cool, righteous to the max. Someday, I'm going to dangle your ring.

note: The sun is coming out, woohoo! Good morning everyone!

Fire In The Hole!

Finding the fun and excitement in one's life is never easily sought. For some, they position themselves in a place where moving forward is inevitable, where many points in a journey will leave us lifeless, or in terms of left out bread: stale. I peek into the lives that have crossed my life. Their lifestyle may seem straight and spontaneous, but at the same time, the times you see these folks is probably the only time they do have fun.

My life is full of ups and downs, like anyone else. Dealing with the post-educational era of my life, I've managed to situate my daily cycle. Although, sometimes sacrifices need to be made. Employment is crucial and pickiness is sometimes not an option. For those with my job ethic, I set goals that are more than likely achievable. This may be a strange onset, but I want to believe that happiness can come from anywhere. True, I have a degree from a well-known educational establishment, which staying is not a career choice. There is something out there for me, for everyone, for you; we just need to find it.

Work can be fun and exciting, yet we, as coworkers, try not to make it too enjoyable. Like my store manager says, "You're here to make a difference, not to make friends." When he said that, I agreed with him. I can't help the fact that I'm a positive person who wishes to put smiles on other's faces. If it ever is a nuisance, just tell me to back off. Everyone knows that happiness is out there, we just need to find it.

Happiness is a great feeling, especially when you have someone to smile with. It being with family, friends, or complete strangers that you meet on the bus. Earlier today, I went downtown to find myself in a miscommunication hazard. Unfortunately, my work didn't have my new cell number, so they couldn't get a hold of me. My manager tells me to head on over to our store because four employees called in sick. Anyway, in short, I bussed it to my store and worked my time. With no stress, I made the technology goal. Goooo Comp! Succeeding in temporary goals makes me happy.

note: If you're cold, you can use me as another blanket.

Teamwork

Think of it this way, the group I work with are great, but to be put in a closed store with managers, supervisors, leads, and over-achievers is great. At first we stood around wondering what we could possibly do. But, just like being at our own store, we had to find something to do. Cleaning, sweeping, plano-ing, labeling, fixing, and with little effort, laughing and having a positively great time. Quite possibly, I'd do one of these store transformation cycles again, but my hours would have to early. I can't wake up and wait for work to start. My 730am schedule is SUPER!, thanks for asking.

Anyway, a lot has chanced lately. I've found a hint of confidence in my swing, my step, my life. I can't really say what's happened, but I'm in a place where nothing can pull me down...damn crabs. Crab mentality is a outward cry of neediness. Don't pull me down, I'll take your limb right off you.

ps. Have a nice day.

Roses Are Orange Too?

Oranges roses was never put into affect in my life until the other night. I always through there was only white, peach, pink, yellow, red, and purple. Anyway, that's the new thing in my life that started. I WILL FIND AN ORANGE ROSE.

Sore Throat

The fall season has always been a crucial period for me. The weather will not get the better of me. Mother nature is close to getting into my body, but I will fight any germ that flies my way...or crawls. I hate getting sick. First the sore throat, and then the unexpected sneezing. I've heard that a sneeze is 1/10 of an orgasm. Anyway, I decided to take action and took some cold medicine. So, cutting this short, take care of yourselves. Watch for that bird virus, if you're out of the country.

To her it may concern, get better. Take medicine, I did. Enjoy the off week. Study early instead of later.

Magandang gabi.

Me, Oh My

I'm going to go in reverse chronological order.

I showed up at my friends house and found out that they left. I went to my brothers house and they left. Who leaves their house at 3am in the morning? I was offered a place to stay, but then, as much as I wanted to stay, just didn't feel right, this time a long. But, of course, thank you for the hospitality. Unfortunately, since it was so late, and didn't want to be left in the cold if I tried going back, I took a mellow drive home. With the two hour nap, I was able to make it without my eyelids getting heavy. Plus, by the time I got to Skyline, there was a jog-a-thon, with all these lights and reflecters so that drivers would see them.

Last night was a barrel of monkeys. I didn't mean to fall asleep, but sleep took over. Although, when I woke up, I felt guilt, and intrusive at the same time. Even though I was there, studying was the main priority. But at the same time, I showed up unexpected which seemed kind of rude. I guess that's what makes me different from others; unexpected visits are ok in my book. So, in response, I'm sorry. It was good to see you though. Thank you. *wink.

Even though my back was a little sore, I decided to stubbornly play ice hockey. I can't let a minor injury keep me from my passion. On the other hand, if I didn't score or assist, then it would have been a waste, more or less. Well, I played, I loved it.

As for Friday, I fell off the ladder at work. I was on the fourth step and missed it going down. Fortunately, I was ok from the fall. Unfortunately, there happened to be boxes on the ladder, which landed on my back. Blah.

note: that's my weekend so far.

Late Graveyard Shift

I can't believe my schedule. A slight change in the hours. Instead of waking up at 630am tomorrow, I'll be waking up at 4am. According to the number of hours, I should be resting in my bed attempting to get some shut eye. Unfortunately, I am just not that tired. I got other frustrations and passions on my mind. Plus, I'm watching the ending of Alien vs. Predator, a typical love story between Predator and Human.

The movie reminds me of Starcraft. For those that know the game, you know what I mean.

I was looking through some of my old stuff and what do I find...
NHLPA HOCKEY 93- You could find this updated game in the movie Swingers. I have the '93-'94 season.

Some tell me that there is a point of no return. The situation either extinguishes or the spark turns into flame. Think about it, I am. Sometimes you just have to ask yourself if the risk is "worth the squeeze"(Girl Next Door). There are chances in the world that lead us into a happiness beyond any other. You don't necessarily know it is there, and you don't try to force anything upon it. Every step lingers into something greater. The analogy of the upward staircase. The first step is always easy because it was just the first step. After twenty steps, movement reduces, your heart begins to beat faster, and pain is easier set. Think about it, I do. On the other hand, we have the downward staircase. You're at the top of the world, but the only way to stay up is to believe there is another step to go up. As time becomes more stagnant, momentum plummets down the steps. Instead of take it step by step, you tumble, you fall, and the whole way down, it hurts more and more, until finally you hit the bottom. Think about it, I've been there.

I am on the tenth step. The middle grounds where you know you can turn back. But, at the same time, you're half way to a floor where there are unlimited possibilites of another twenty steps. This is the point of no return. I don't give up. I strive for the best. I make things happen, only because I want them to. For now, I live in the middle, holding out my hands to those who wish to follow me, step by step.

note: I miss writing like this. Good night, it is 9:48pm.

Where To Begin

For three consecutive Sundays, I've reintroduced a particular Catholic Commandment back into my life. Was it my choice, my decision? Yes. There was a boost of motivation on your behalf. In retrospect, you asked me to join you. My distinction toward Catholicism has been a bit skeptical for the past some odd years. Although Christianity is a blind faith, there are millions of followers out there. The Word of God is a righteous consciousness, yet the interpretation to today's teachings is vague. Society is wide-ranged. I don't believe that religious leaders can keep up with the goods and the bads. Anyway, that's besides the point. I go to church because it makes me feel good inside. I listen to the readings, the homily, the songs, and what nots. Some friends of mine believe my participation is because of an angel that has floated into my life. I believe that my family is what some say "non-practicing catholic" which is a term used by today's lifestyle. If you keep the faith in God, in Jesus, in the whole shabang, then you have faith of Catholicism on your side. I've always enjoyed going to Mass with close friends, family, or just friends alone. In high school, I went. In college, I went. For the longest time, I only went to midnight Mass during Christmas. Three Sundays ago I went to church because someone asked me. Two Sundays ago, I went because I wanted to. This morning, it was a bit difficult. I was in the lazy mood, but I knew that going to church would be morally valuable. We all must make decisions. Just think, an hour out of our lives, and most of us just lay in bed still. Decisions decisions decisions!

I've made a decision. The decision to make myself unavailable. What does it mean? Probably nothing. I'll wait. I've waited before. Where did that leave me? No where. My past experiences with waiting turned into two situations. The first occasion was about six months. That eventually went sour probably because of the distance, my ability to trust this person backfired on me. It was my fault. She eventually told me that she just wanted to stay friends. The second predicament was two years of waiting. Although, after the first year, we hooked up were official for about a week. And then we lost contact for three months. Don't ask me why I decided to pursue her again, but I did. This 'wait' was also long distance. Little did I learn from the first experience.

Now, I've run into a third. When I met her, I knew that waiting would be an issue. Fortunately, unlike the first two experiences, there's no distance. My desire for her increases. The serious talks have been made and I'm still here, she's still there. She studies, I work, and every weekend, we interact. I guess this is what they call taking it slow.

note: nursing is easier than engineering!

Another One Of Those Nights

Once again, my mind has forgotten what my topic would be. I think about it a majority of the day, and then finally when I sit in front of the LCD screen, I get a blank. Hmmm...

Here's one. Last night was the first time in a LONG time that I fell asleep talking to someone on the phone. Not because they were boring, but because I was extremely exhausted. Plus, it was one of those phone calls you just don't want to get off of. I would temporarily knock out, and then when I wake up, I immediately say "hello". And then she'll tell me to go to bed and I'll say no. Kiddie stuff. I wonder if talkin' to her last night was the reason why she didn't do good on her exam. Hope not. Sorry.

Whenever I'm driving, my thoughts collect. Woohoo! Thank goodness for commercials. A glimpse of the movie Flightplan just showed. I wanted to give my respects toward the movie. I honestly thought the movie was above average good. It wasn't great and it definitely wasn't perfect. It had its moments of excitment, suspense, and plot reaction. I'll keep my thoughts brief. The movie got me debating about her daughter. Was she really her imagination or was there a conspiracy? The movie went downhill the moment the air marshall revealed his true character. It just proves that you can never tell the difference between a controlled or uncontrolled mind. It seems we condemn before we judge sometimes.

note: You are at your cutest everytime you smile.

Heavy Eye Lids

My eyes continued to droop the more I stay up later and later. I should be sleeping by now, but I can't seem to. Probably because I'm online. I was thinking of a topic earlier this morning, but I completely forgot it. hmmm?

I'm about to fall asleep. Good night all. But before I go, this is me:

I am friendly;
I am supportive;
I am honest;
I am helpful;
I am graceful;
I am conservative;
I am quiet;
I am competitive;
I am witty;
I am romantic;
I am reliable;
I am hardworking;
I am a chance taker;
I am patient;
I am emotional;
I am sleepy.

note: Expect the unexpected and wait for the willing.

Body Aching

The past two days have opened up my eyes towards absolutely nothing. I just wanted to say a catchy, yet abnormal way of explaining the past two days. My work finally gave me the Monday to Friday schedule. Free weekends will be a part of my life again. It'll be like school, except I get paid. For the first eight or nine months with OD, I was the furniture lead. I was the guy they once called 'The Furniture Guy'. It was the reasoning behind it all. You can't simply be named just by the recollection on what your job title is...or is it? Anyway, as appreciative all my coworkers were, they saw me moving up into a better position. With the given nickname, I grew to make the furniture a part of me. I knew where all of it was. Someone would ask where something was, I immediately tell them which aisle, which top or mid-stock location, or even if we had it without looking it up in the system. As my assistant manager would say, "Joey has no life." Yes, I do. It's just I've become somewhat of a workaholic. I always need something to do. And when I do it, I finish and find something else to work on. The location of nearly three hundred fifty items just grew on me. But knowing the exact location, that's just absurd. So, they released me from that torture into the Sales/Technology technician specialist. In other words, I'm the lead on the 'tech' side. I have a crew of five individuals with unrelated traits. Will it be tough? Of course. Working from seven thirty to four, monday thru friday is a dream come true. Anyway, it is past my bedtime and someone's phone ran out of battery. So, I might as well hit the hay.

note: When you know deep down inside that you miss someone, tell them.

Internally

joey: i'm happy
alan: why
j: because the most amazing girl has made me feel the butterflies again
a: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Presence

Your presence makes time stand still. When away, I wish you near so I could memorize your presence when away.

Inhaling

When you are near, I breathe in, and take in the sense of you into my soul.

note: See you Wednesday.

No limits

Reyna screaming over the music: One more shot!
Me with eyes closed and swaying with the music: No more!

Listening to Aquagen - It's Hard For Me To Say I'm Sorry

The night was a complete failure. In short, we arrived early to the club. From the parking lot to the venue was the best walk. The wind just seemed to pass through my clothes like nothing. And then the club wouldn't take my money to get in. Pretty whack eh! Let's fast forward to the part where the shots and drinks magically refilled my glass. My friends danced while I walked through the crowd. As the alcohol flowed through my system, my eye sight became a blur. My stare probably freaked a few people out, except for those who I recognized. As I made my rounds, there was always someone new to say hello to. Everyone seemed to be surprised to see me...drunk. Let's move on. Other details why this night sucked was because shots were constantly handed to me. I remember, it's all your fault Vince. But I forgive you because you drove me home safely.

But wait...

I've never been drunk in public. We went to Serramonte Denny's where both Reyna and I sat at the table attempting to hold our heads up above our food. My eyes were closed while I ate french fries to prove that I was still awake. The manager was trying to rush us out. Whatever! We bought food, kinda ate it, and then he snatched the bill. Instead of bringing it to the front, he decided to be a gentleman and help us personally...like I said, whatever.

But wait, the night gets better...

I decide to sit in the bathroom just in case I need to prove my worthiness. Within five minutes, I'm laying down on the carpet with my glasses next to me. The cold gets to my skin, so I decide to get a blanket of some sort to keep me warm. Strangely, the next thing I remember is my phone alarm going off at 8:36am. My room light is on, my blankets are wrapped around me. I don't remember how I got into my bed. After fifteen minutes of searching, I grabbed an old pair of glasses and made my way up to the bathroom. And there you have it, my glasses on the floor.

The world turns in the opposite direction when you're drunk with your bestfriend. Like I said, Reyna...the night was a complete failure. Why? Because you couldn't stay up. Thumbs down.

note: My co-worker smacked me in the back of the head with a pen. And guess who apologized?

Future

So early this evening, during a late dinner at Jollibee's, a conversation about my life career came up. I want to believe that my career choice can be based on what's on my diploma, but the brisk of it all, I would like to do something that get me up in the morning because I want to go. On the other hand, would it be a waste of education if I didn't go into the IT field? The answer is beyond the control of others, but the response will always be noted. I find the process of the engineering field not for me. But, if I majored in it, might as well get as much experience before I do what I want to do. And what is that you ask. Teach. Teach math K-8. I've had comments about my backstage theatrical enthusiasm. Who knows my future? I don't. As for some, my definition in life is completely uncertain. It is never too late to start over. But I would never do that. I have a bachelor degree in my pocket. The bottomline is...

I want happiness before wealth. The career choice must be worth waking up for. Money making is important. Very important. I'll find wealth AND happiness.

I am currently eating a peach mango pie. Yes, can you believe it? It is like trying ranch for the first time. For those that know me, I am very picky when it comes to food. I'll pick out tomatoes, big or small, in spaghetti. I'll dip chips into salsa, but I won't scoop. So, what do you do when someone buys you food? You got it! You eat it. Thank you for the pie. I ate the whole thing.

Movie of choice: But I'm a cheerleader with Natasha Lyonne & Clea Duvall.
note: Work with the future. Don't let the future work you.

Some Things

Being aware of my emotions is one thing I've learned in the past. Before, I would take grasp of the feelings and assume return. Now, I caution in what's out there mainly because my vulnerability isn't the same anymore. The bottomline is...

I realize that patience is a virtue of mine that can't be broken, only if the senses within take hold of what can be changed. I look at life as a limit. There is always a stopping point. In order to take control of this limit, you must control the destiny of time. Instead of being on a waiting list that would never end, I met someone that defined a new happiness, yet new doubts. In thought, I constantly wonder if my doubts are just doubts. I care, but does she care. It shows somewhat physically, but not mentally. Sometimes the world turns quickly, and sometimes the world is in slow motion. I'm not entirely sure which direction the path I see. Believing in both situations is the only decision.

You are not just some thing that I want to be next to. I hope for some thing better.

On the humor side of the cranium, I went to L&L for the first time with Reyna. We sat down and noticed that one of the songs they played made us burst in laughter. It was a slow ballad type of song, and it kept repeating the ending. At first, it was the song, and then a long pause; about 3 minutes. And then suddenly it started playing again. And then the pause. And then the song, the pause, the song, the pause. They decided to finally change the song when we were 'lol'ing.

note: Kellogg's Special K w/Red Berries is yummy.

Feelings

joey: the new girl in my life makes me believe life is worth it
Yumi: awww, that is beautiful. im happy that ur happy my fren

alan: so did u talk to millet today?
joey: i saw her this morning
a: awww
j: we see a lot of each other
a: cute
j: it's amazing how things just work out between the two of us
a: i'm glad

Lately, I've been happy, yet a bit frightened. The feelings increase wondering if I'm putting forth too much at the given time. With the priorities at hand, I must bare with the necessities that she must endure. I want to be there for her whenever possible. I wonder if she enjoys the time we hangout. The other night she acknowledged that I make a slight difference in her life. Yes, we talk, yet there was a time when my brain stressed on something. Some people ask me if there's one thing I could change about them, what would it be? Obviously, I wouldn't change a thing. Individuality is kept when one has no need to believe in self change.

What goes through my head? At Adobo, I awaited her arrival. The moment our eyes met, I noticed that she wore nothing we shopped for. Oh well! We danced, we laughed, we smiled, she gave the looks as if we were the only two people in the room. We danced face to face and constantly stared into one another's eyes; well, at least I did. I hate the fact that I only find the courage to show affection when I've drank a little alcohol. For a brief moment, I reached for her hand, I closed my fingers over hers, as hers did mine. Although my face wasn't facing hers, my face was glowing. And then she let go. What did I do? I try to think nothing of it because it probably is nothing. It slipped. I shrug. Let thee know this, feeling her hand in mine was like gettin' an A on a test.

..to be continued.

Courting Vs. Dating

My question was "What's the difference between courting and dating?"

SAP: dating is when its official, like u agree to it, but courting it a thing where the guys do something to impress the gurl to get her to thik its a good idea to date

CS: nothing, isn't it the same thing? Or is courting more in terms of preparation for marriage?

LL: courting iz ol' skewl dating, or da older people'z translation of dating

GT: courting is like wooing..tryin to gain sumones affection, and i guess dating is actually both ppl going out and already having affection for each other

FG: Aren't they the same? My parents always use the term "courting", when they mean "dating"

PC: dating = interviewing
PC: courting = trying to get attention

TM: dating is non-commitment, courting is like u have intentions

JM: i think courting is a little more than dating

CP: courting is more like a "will u date me" period, dating is mutual interest

DR: dating is just going out...courting is like giving nutrition to a long relationship coming

My response was more or less like some of the answers here. I told her that dating and courting were actually the same thing. She explained her reasoning to me and opened my mind to the whole situation. I simply asked her if we were courting. She gave me the look and I requested that she not answer. We know A answer, but we wish not to go into it.

Courting is believing in wooing the girl over, and only her. Even though it is a traditional and old-fashioned, the intentions must be true and virtuous. If dating has become the new term for courting, the moral value faded from the meaning. On the other hand, the girl accepts the man with bashful violence. You say something sweet, giddy, or corny, and she smiles, looks away, and then takes a swing at you. You know you've done it because I can still feel it. Dating is more of the swinger lifestyle. Multiple courting is a term that most see dating as.

I also thought courting was the process before marriage. The most important reasoning behind either courting and/or dating is being true and honest. Beleiving that the person next to you could be the person right for you. Life is short when you're happy, yet long when you're unhappy. So, when happiness enters, take advantage of every moment. Look into her eyes until she looks away.

note: B.M.P. Rocks my socks!

Not Present

In the past, my reliability became one of my strongest traits. Lately, my ability to grasp this role is fading into limited amounts. While working at OD benefits from my skills, the partnership receives the bottom of the barrel and I'm not enjoying this ratio. I want to do something, but everytime there's something handed out, I'm not present. My assistance is just a call or email away. Other than that, I can't help out if I'm not told. And even if I'm unable, I take the time to find out what's available or what went down. Blah.

I'm unsure if I'll have the ability to write up a synopsis for Akbayan's PCN2006. I've had the idea in my head for a couple months now, but I'm not sure if comedy can be involved. It probably can, but it's not necessarily my style. Another consequence of the "not present" syndrome. If I'm not around, I won't be inspired to do anything about it. My leisure time is filled with baseball watching, soon to be ice hockey watching, bmp duties, etc. Maybe script writing isn't my forte since my stories aren't too compelling. Shrug.

It's just not like me to out of the loop. The only loop I'm in is work. Bleh.

note: Grab some pine, meat. Watch out for the orange and black.

Frustrations With Bureaucracy

First off, congratulations to Jerry Rice on a great football career.

Second off, the San Jose Sharks are playing once again at the HP Pavilion, on September 18th, 2005. Best off, I'll be there.

Third off, let's learn lessons from the tragic events in New Orleans. Mother nature was just not on our side this time.

After avoiding the New Orleans disaster, I caught up with the whole event. The emotions from the mayor of New Orleans was well-deserved. After seeing your city under seven feet of water, there are feelings of anger, rage, sadness, depression, frustrations...with bureaucracy. It sucks. Things I've heard why the government lagged on relief is because of racism and/or political incertainties. Yet, I will only go over that in person if you'd like. Prayers for the souls who suffer and had suffered their lives to this natural misfortune.

note:
Come check out this party my friends and I are throwing Friday, Sept. 9th! Everybody's gonna be there, I'll see you there too!

Add us Myspace!
Barrelman Productions - http://www.myspace.com/barrelmanproductions
Legend Entertainment - http://www.myspace.com/legend_entertainment

Namlerrab

Superstitions are not really my style. If you believe or even you don't believe, it only sticks in your mind because you let it. Like walking or going under a ladder, I do it almost everyday at work. Customers shriek when I walk under the ladder. It happens to those who believe in such myths. Other than that, luck doesn't necessarily affect my lifestyle neither.

As for work, there's been a bit of misfortune for 4 of the employees. Who knows why, but they're under investigation. As for my benefit, I will be transferred to technology department, instead of furniture. Although, I will most likely be paid the same wage, which sucks. Hopefully, in time, I will be working or getting a phone call from either HitachiGST, Saratoga Systems, Fairchild Imaging, etc. According to my sources, I have a possible chance with HitachiGST, if not, I have others and motivation to look for something better.

Also, on the mental note, I plan on purchasing and reading The Alchemist. My resources tell me that this book will broaden my future inspirations. We shall see.

As for friendship, some say that happiness is unattainable, but I believe that happiness is only gained if achievable. If you can think it, it's possible. But this philosophy doesn't cheer up emotions, it only makes you think.

What makes me happy? Wouldn't you like to know!

Growing Up

Personally, there are some things that we're able to ignore and brush off our shoulders. When we grow up, we become fearless of the things we once were scared of. Although, there will always be a fear that will not fade. The scary is always balanced with the funny. This evening, one of my endless qualms enriched my conservative lifestyle. On the other hand, I balanced the evening by attempting to take it upon myself to help someone with something.

Last night, I told someone that they make me happy. The funny part is the time I've known her. She didn't blush, but she did smile. The type of smile when she doesn't want you to know that she is. I was nervous to even say it. The response was a bit modest, but the rest of the evening was a lot more comfortable. We listened to Lifehouse's You And Me and the romantic, yet sad Korean song about the photographer who gives his eyes to the girl. Unfortunately, she had class in the early morning, so I had to go. Well, I walked off her step, turned, and looked into her eyes. I didn't want to say bye. I didn't want to. The hug that we exchanged was quite boring, but it was a bit longer and tighter than previous hugs. Next time, I'll definitely use both arms. I don't want to seem too eager, yet, I am.

note: Don't hesitate, just go.

Verizon vs. Cingular

Discovering the possibilities is always something to look forward to. I made a decision that seems to benefit my present state. Friday had started with dinner, with the possibility of something extra (ie. movie). Before I was able to extend the offer, she opened up her schedule and asked me. Although, she didn't accept the secret as well as I hoped, but things shouldn't always go as planned.

The movie of choice was Skeleton Key. An 'ok' movie overall, but the ending turned from realistic to superstitious. Would I recommend the movie? No. I get to choose the next movie.

After the movie, we sat and talked for 2 hours. Luckily, I didn't have work until noon the next day. Unfortunately, she had a 7am class, which she was slightly a bit late for.

Enough of how the last few days went, let's go deeper into my squishy brain. My intentions with my ability to date nowadays was to be simple. Although, my values have seized my efforts to date another girl while getting to know the present female. I guess it wouldn't be called dating. Oh well!?

It has been a while since I managed to keep a phone conversation going for at least an hour. She wants to know more about me, and I for her. This is why we hangout, go on dates, talk on the phone, we take the time to get to know one another, especially late nights when one of us needs to make a 7am class. Do I like you? I'm pretty sure I do. I think about you, not in a psychotic type way, but in a way where calling you is just a phone call away and nothing more. I usually wonder what you're doing, even though I already assume that you're in class or studying for your classes. I wonder if you think of me too.

note: Happy am I.

Things Remembered

There are so many memories that stick in my mind, either good or bad. Most of the time, we tend to blackout the bad things that happen in our lives. Yet, you cannot escape the past. So instead, learn the lesson and be sure not to repeat your mistakes. Although, there will be a time when actions will come back at us. It's inevitable because we, as humans, are given a lifespan that contains enormous amounts of brain space.

My favorite memories involve stage presence. Performing on stage or in front of an audience is my forte. Every dance, every line, every note is a focus that is completely different from reality. You can't just go out there and do your stuff, there's more talent and concentration involved. I still remember my first Pilipino Cultural Night, Promise Ring. The story was exquisite, the cast was into making another tradition, and I was just beginning.
And then my least favorite memory was the day the committee had no choice but to cancel PCN. I may bring this topic up a lot, but it is because I care about it. It was the moment when I knew that a cancelled show would never occur.

But, let's jump to this past weekend. The hopeful annual summer PCN at Northside was a success. I practically drove early in the morning wondering if we were going to find Akbayan's kulintangs. Where are they? We shall find the set. The two dances I taught did quite well. Lumagen wasn't perfect, but what dance is. If I was around more, their form would've been a lot more crisp. Singkil was superb. The costumes went well with the lighting, and the focus was on the ball. I do feel bad that Asik wasn't in the show. Singkil without Asik is like Tinikling without sticks. I want to commend all my dancers on a job well done. Two dancers in particular are the prince and princess, Steven and Aethel. You two did a great job with the amount of time that I was there. I hope to teach all the dancers sometime in the future.

After the show, most of the cast was still present to have dinner. This conclusion reminded me of my first ever PCN. A majority of the cast was still around to just hangout. The reminder came along because everyone just hungout in the audience seats signing one another's programs. And then last Saturday night, when we all just sat down, enjoying the time left, it just reminded me of such a great memory.

BY THE WAY: Ading Millay is AWESOME!!!

Lastly, you're adorable. It's your eyes that caught my attention, and then your smile just added to the attraction. And just when I was going to leave Paseo, you ask me, out of all, for a ride home. Funny thing is, why would someone ask me to drive someone home when they knew I drank. Honestly, I was a bit buzzed, but why would you trust me to drive you home? Unless, there was a motive.

note: I'm lost. The negative fades while positive walks in. Damn karma.

What's Next

So, I'm involved in another "hell week", also known as the last week of practices before another Pilipino Cultural Night. After a couple months of practices, I was able to meet a new group of participants. Although, this show is different from all the other shows. For one thing, there's only a handful of college students involved. The other participants are middle and/or high school students. Let's say that age has no difference when you're teaching a group of filipinos, yet the head coordinator is always stressing. Kids are always joyous to work with, especially Austin, who is an 18? year old kid.

I don't plan on moving on from pcn's. You can never learn enough about your culture. Every show does something completely different, or sometimes completely related, from any previous show I've been involved with. The only regret was Akbayan's cancelled PCN1999. It was my first attempt at script writing. It was my first chance to do Philippine dancing. It was.

Can't live in the past, but the past can live within us.

The hardest part about being a one-day a week teacher is that I can't see my students progress until I see them a week later. Although, the assistants, Alan & Allen, are doing a great job. It is also helpful that most of the dancers have actually danced cultural dances before.

But, after a long practice last Monday, we all did the bonding experience thing. Shopping for the guys' thongs was an enriching experience. And lastly, the sweatshirt you bought looked good on you. And yes, I'm complimenting you. You probably didn't even notice the attention I was giving you while we bowled; or maybe you didn't want me to know that you knew that I was flirting with you. Better not to know then to just let things be. I've done the straight forward thing, and it left me in the dark. Oh well.

For now,

Northside's 1st Pilipino Cultural Night
August 13th, 2005 3pm matinee and/or 7pm gala
Email me for more information

note: My bestfriend met you. Her response was "She's short."

Customer quote of the day!

So, in the early hours of the work day, my customer, Dianne, asks me about some wooden file cabinets. I, then go into my selling mode asking her if the Natural Cherry is the color that she needs. And then she tells me that she is sure that she wants that color, mainly because of the gold-colored handles. So, I accept her decision and request her patience as I check our inventory on the computer. There is possibly only one in stock and she comes to think if I should go upstairs to retrieve it. I offer free deliver of this piece, so she doesn't need to sit and wait for me to find the cabinet. And then she most certainly said, "Oh no, Joel, I think we'll take the cabinet in my car. I'm so computer allergic." My eyes widened and my lips smiled. It was funny when I heard it. Ha ha ha.

Good Evening SAN FRANCISCO!!!

I noticed my paragraphs usually begin With all the. My vocabulary has definitely increased, and my grammar has been considered in my writing. In at least 98% of blogs, xangas, and livejournals, the grammatical errors multiply every time someone new begins their written memories. I admit, my writing is imperfect. Most of the time, I proofread before publishing my blogger. My first entries were drastically improper; like the majority population of online journals. Horrible!

Maverick: "Goose, she's lost that lovin' feeling."
Goose: "She lost lovin' feeling?"
Maverick: "Yep."
Goose: "I hate it when she does that."

Can you say streak? I definitely have seen hope from the very beginning. The San Francisco Giants will still have a chance to take first in the National League West. In this division, anything is possible. Yesterday, I was invited to an evening at SBC Park. Even before my birthday game, Dre invited me. The Giants lost on my birthday, but a month later, they win. The train trip home was fun too. I strongly believe that friends of the opposite sex can be great friends, without the aspect of lust involved. It is also quite possible to think that my friends don't find me attractive. Ha! My friendship with Dre is strictly sibling related. She hsa the nerve to call me Kuya Joey, when it should be Manong Joey. There will be no pictures of this Giants game because she forgot her camera in the car, and my camera is broken. Argh!

On the other side of cranium, my learning curve has jumped from intermediate to advanced. I was able to learn Pandanggo Sa Ilaw/Oasiwas during the month of July. During August, we are given twice the work with Tinikling and Binasuan. While rehearsing, I was getting distracted my one of the females playing with us. I admit, she is cute. And then something dawned on me, she looks like Ale, with rounder eyes. Argh!

note: Giants vs. Roger Clemens. You can do it!!!

Whoa! I just saw an infomercial about the "Everlife Flashlight" that needs no batteries.

Constant Fluttering

I had trouble figuring out a title for this entry. There you go, another random blurb.

Sleep should be taking over my mentality right about now. Actually, it should've shadowed my soul nearly two or three hours ago. The fact that my shift tomorrow is closing means the ability to stay up with the assumption that I will wake up in time to get to work. With all the new employees working, everyday seems to have new people to work with. Although, with the original front-end rep on vacation, the replacement offers my lunch at hours that I can't really get used to. I need a career.

With all the exciting, yet random occurrences, my entries have strayed away from the most important topic of all, my emotions toward finding the love of my life. There have been a few females that have caught my interest, yet my loyalty toward my friend will keep me from pursuing such a youngster. And then there's the new, yet old attraction that I found fit to attempt; although I will cease. No reason to go for someone that enjoys working and grasping as many hours as they possibly can. Must be great to have a career.

With all the events happening lately, dating and hangin' out will suffice. Nothing too serious, yet there will always be that one I can't see to let go of. You don't do anything in particular, yet that nothing makes me smile. Just imagine if you actually responded, I would be bouncing on the clouds. Wishful thinking I guess.

With Socom 3 & the NHL season coming up, I will be mentally busy.

note: The banduria is my bestfriend.

I'm About The 'Little Things'

me: 'cuz you didn't go egghead
you: oh hahah but im boring
me: you're smile isn't
me: they're are people in our lives that brighten our days by a simple smile. you're one of those in my life.
you: aww really?!
you: thats soo niceee
you: im happy im one of those people!!!!!!
---
me: how was this past weekend
her: bad
me: i'm sorry
her: eh das life
me: you're my life. well, part of it.
her: aww sweet

The best and worst things can come from the little things that we may do for some people. When something is done out of the blue for someone, big or small, this emotion overpowers such emotions and simply makes us happy. On the other hand, I've been involved in small situations that may have turned to the worst. With my state of mind, neutrality(is that a word?) is me. I'll attempt the small things asking for nothing in return. That's who I am. I'll say something as simple as the above lines in order to makes someone's day feel a lot better. Things are said and done. Things done is another story. With verbality(now, is that a word?), it is like I said, 'said and done'. With things done, sometimes we're just unavailable to see someone's reaction or expression. In my world, I do things for a reason. But I won't endure in anything that will go too deep where throughts need to be more profound. Am I making sense? I'm tired.

Baseball for example. The little things like a bunt down the third base line can get a player on second to third with ease. Only challenge is that of the batter attempting the bunt. LET'S GO GIANTS!

My Eyes Are Itchy

K1d: here's some words of wisdom joey
K1d: "a clock, even though broken, is always right twice"
Me: which means?
K1d: that even though something may not work, there's always two other rights in your life

I thought he was attempting to call me old. Some of my friends could be mean, but they wouldn't be my friends if they didn't make fun. Right? The main joke about me among my friends is my age. I'm not that old.

#1 Joke: Your social security number is 000-00-0003.

I met an American Idol last week. Jasmine Trias has blossomed as a singer. Her style is near the norm. If you never saw her before, but heard her music, you would have never guessed that the singer was filipina hawaiian. Ha! Had to say it. At the signing, there was a supposed pervert in the crowd, according to Ted. I don't know how you could base this guy on the simple fact that he was just taking pictures of her. I say, if you find out that someone, typically pretty, from television's, American Idol, is in town and signing her album, sure, why not take pictures. If Elisha Cuthbert was in town, I'd get her autograph, picture, and get right back in line to do it all over again. But that's me. Does that make me a pervert? Of course it does! Because I'll be drooling all over her. (this is where you laugh)

Just a thought: In my eyes, everyone just looks the same age when we hangout. Only difference is that they can't get into the 21 and up clubs.

Some of the things I found out last week was that my mother's mother's mother (great grandmother on my mom's side) passed away when she was only 33. After giving birth to seven daughters, I guess God wanted her to take care of someone up there. God rest her soul. As for my great grandfather, he took care of all of his daughters. Wow! You go. Maybe that's why I enjoy children. Anyway, I saw a picture of him at one of his daughter's wedding. It's said that he looks like my brother, Chucky. It is always good to learn the tidbits of my life. Time to start that family tree that I've always wanted to do.

note: Giants are 6 games behind Padres. They will catch up. Every team in the NL West division are below .500. Weird.

Quote of the Day

"Great things come in small packages." -last heard by Ulo.

My response: Yes. Great things come in any package.

From Spikes To Fluffy

I don't know what to think. I discover the world turning upside down sometimes. I sit here in the warm climate of Paseo, using Ars' nice 'puter. While driving here to SJ, I found myself dozing off on 280. By the time I got to Wolfe, I was wide awake trying to avoid Sunday traffic. I made the meeting right on time.

As for the meeting, I'm not sure if I have a solid place there...yet. I know my strengths, and I must be told my weaknesses so I can make them positives. Most of my time is benefited into succeeding in things I shouldn't reminded to do. I can rely on my abilities to make things happen. I am someone who puts forth extra effort in order to make things happen. Like I said before, B.M.P. will make its first million in 3 years. ha!

I completed the viewing of Constantine tonight. It had its good and bad parts. The good parts came rarely, while the bad parts included bad dialogues, extremely worse one-liners, and partially slow theme. Overall, I give this movie, 1 being bad and 10 being great, a 7. In my books, a religious, science fiction flick can keep your attention because if you're a viewer, you'll have a base religion. Other than that...

My friendships mean a lot to me. Shoot, my acquaintances mean something in the lines of liking. Everyone is dope to the max!

I hate how dreams seem so real you want them to be real. I lost count of the number of dreams you were in my arms. Sheesh.

note: Giants Rock!

The Spike Sets My Mood

My co-worker, Jennifer, has become quite a joyous, yet weird person. She reminds me of little kids that just follow you with smiles on their faces. She usually calls me by my whole name, goodness. Today, she asked what my middle name was. I brushed her off and got back to work. With her head being the height of the low aisles, I saw her hair rushing toward my area, so I ran the opposite way. The only reaction was "You're mean. Come back here, Hipol!" Blah on her. I actually told her my first initial of my middle name. Well, not exactly, my first answer was 'J'. So she kept guessing, finding it was amusing when she said that J stood for Joey. My response was, "So my name is Joel Joey?" Crazy girl. Eventually, I gave her the correct initial, and the weirdest part was that her first guess was my middle name. I think I have a stalker. Ha! Whatever!

As for the summer bonfire, it was dope. I thought we'd never leave Paseo, but about 3 hours later, we made our way onto the freeway, finding out that we left Chris and Mark behind. Sorry. They went to go pick up Virgil anyway. Great times.

The drive down was interesting because I've never had a full carload of people in Caramel before. Eventually April, Mikey, and Crystal(?) got a bit of shut eye, while Rachelle and I just talked about the spooky, yet interesting phenomena. I think after talking about what we usually talk about, Engineering, we got into the subjects of horoscopes, ghostly experiences, and oddly enough, sex findings. Eeek!

Good night for the bonfire, mainly because it is foggy and super cold here at the beach now. It was sunny all day, until (enter scary drum roll) IT rolled in. (IT being the fog)

'Til next time, stay sweet, keep smiling, and let the good times roll.

Post #250 after 3 years.

After four years, my mind has developed according to the words of this blogger. The theme of this blog is based on my 'love' lifestyle. The people, events, things that put a smile on my face. Who knows? I started writing because sometimes I just wanted to record my thoughts and creativity. The only way to write, in this so-called journal, is to believe that no one reads this, but me. Can't hold back your emotions, just type/write what your mind/heart/soul desires. Let it go. I did.

As of today, there have been a lot of newly hired employees at my store. Fortunately, a majority are females. There's Alison, Kirstin, Iram, Cameron, Ivan, and Vincent, who just happened to resign today. Most of the guys are crushing on these coworkers only because they're new faces; kind of like freshmen at the beginning of the school year. I still have my particular crush, unfortunately, SHE has a GIRLFRIEND. There is also 'Vivi', who happened to say that I make her laugh whenever we work together.

Quick note: I notice that a large majority of drivers in the Sunset district don't stop at Stop Signs. Scary to find a car stop abruptly when I'm half-way through the intersection. Stupid heads!

note: Dynasty Warriors 4, my new ps2 game, is fun.

From Chilly to Sweaty

For two weeks, San Francisco was practically the best place to be; weather wise. Watching the temperature a summer high of 72 degrees, the humidity inside my work was getting to me. Before the store opened, my mandatory duties were achievable with the help of sweat glistening down my face. Yuck! I haven't had sweat drench my face since Safeway.com. The weather in SF was starting to get a bit sunny on the coast while the bay was always getting sun.

I doubted coming to San Jose because of the heat, humidity, and did I mention the heat. While relaxing at my brother's place, I found myself with an open window to my back, absorbing the cold breeze. Anyway, this weather sucks, but it'll do.

So, the Food Network had a bartending competition showing this late evening. Before it started, my yawns and droopy eyes became constant. I laid on the couch finding that my interest in flying bottles and timed cocktails was intriguing. Imagine this world competing in everything. Oh wait! We do. Amazing what some can do with a couple of bottles and so forth. It was like the movie Cocktail starring Tom Cruise, but MUCHO BETTER! Not my fancy, but cool to watch.

From topic to topic - my favorite on-screen kiss comes from the movie That Thing You Do. by the end of the movie the scene goes:

Shades: Faye? Let me ask you a question.
Faye: Shoot.
Shades: When was the last time you were decently kissed?
Faye: -line-
Shades: Okay?
He cups his right hand around her cheek and smacks her with a luscious first kiss. When they meet lips, she gives off a small whimper of..."whoa, you're kissing me". The first time you kiss someone, if they want it or not, has got to be the greatest feeling. Read it. (In the mood to write)

Welcome back Disneylandians! Have you realized its not a small world after all? Good luck with what you gotta do, Ulo!

note: Let's Go Gigantes!!!

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Dear Sharks Fans:

On behalf of the entire Sharks organization, it gives me great pleasure to report that the National Hockey League and the National Hockey League Player’s Association have reached a tentative deal on a new collective bargaining agreement.

While the deal is still subject to ratification by the NHL’s Board of Governors and the NHLPA’s membership, we believe the that the two parties have taken a huge step in the right direction in an effort to create a true partnership between the players and the 30 NHL teams.

The response thus far from our fans and partners has been overwhelming and we know that you are as excited as we are to get the greatest game in the world back on the ice. With an up-and-coming team, following a Pacific Division Championship and an appearance in the Western Conference Finals, we are very anxious to resume our quest to bring the Stanley Cup to the Silicon Valley.

We will keep you up to date on the ratification process as it moves forward and we thank you for your continued support.

This truly is Sharks territory.

Best regards,


Greg Jamison
President and CEO
San Jose Sharks

Movie analysis

Many individuals quote the movie Hitch. Why?

Life is not about the amount of breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away.

You know what it's like getting up every morning? Feeling hopeless, feeling like the love of your life is waking up with the wrong man. But, at the same time hoping that she still finds happiness, even if it's never going to be with you.

Any guy can sweep any girl off her feet, he just needs the right broom.

Relationships are for people who are waiting for something better to come along.

Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.

Lean in, place your hand on the small of her back, say it in her ear like a secret.

The writer, Kevin Bisch, was feeling something while he was writing such a script. What was it? "A friend of Bisch’s used to call him up and ask his advice on where he should take his dates. Bisch often heard of places to go and things to do and offered up numerous suggestions. “We said, ‘What if there was a service like this?’”, Bisch says. The idea of a "date doctor," the central character." (Rachel Wimberly, March 12, 2005) Interesting to find the motivation of screenwriter's; finding the source of their ideas, even though it couldn't be put any more simple.

There are a lot of 'students' out there that ask advice from multiple numbers of 'teachers'. The only type advice is to follow your own advice. Their 'words of wisdom' are made for their use, not your own.

I've been sitting in front of this screen for almost an hour, and this is all I got. I need a brain fart. The random topics keep squirting out, but the water doesn't flow. Blah.

You are my bestfriend. Thanks for walk-through at Target and the delicious sushi dinner. Hope you don't have any allergic reactions to the shrimp. It's true that I'm always talking about my female interests whenever we chat. And on my side, we just talk about the darker fellas.

How can you define someone as a bestfriend? Of course, everyone has differences in what they see in a bestfriend. These friends won't answer their phone when you need them the most. The best chance they get, they'll apologize for not being there. They will call you when they're in town and wait until they're back home to invite you. A bestfriend will listen to the same grief over and over, no matter how much it annoys them. They will open their door when there is no other place to go. They will allow you to stay long after they had fallen asleep. The best part is when you can see this friend once a year and continue the same conversation from the last time you saw them. I love all my bestfriends. You'll never hear it from my lips, but I do. A bestfriend will make you sad as much as they make you happy. You just have to take what they can give.

What justifies an evening with someone a date? There had been times when I requested the company of a friend or acquaintance to lunch or dinner. This event could be with either a man or woman. I don't put much meaning in the word, date, only to find that when it is used, a whole new reaction from the guest is brought up. For example, the dinner segment of the so-called date would have phrases such as, "We should go on another date again" or "This date is moving in the right direction". Between two friends, the listener may be forced to believe that the whole evening was a ploy to get closer to another, or in other words, getting to know that person. Well, according to the examples I gave, the listener doesn't really have a choice but to react with the response, "We're just friends, this isn't a date." With this response, the whole evening just turned sour because the listener has assumed that they're being pursued. Although, the talker may take advantage of the situation. How? That's for you to learn for yourself. Let me say this, no one really works in the nerve to call the evening a date, unless you're me.

So, what qualifies it as a date? TWO individuals who have attraction toward one another, in one way or another, and benefit from the evening by getting to know one another. It's like two friends hanging out, but they don't necessarily call it a date. I constantly go on dates with Ale, eating sushi like crazy, but in this situation, it could be more defined as 'hanging out'. So...when's our date?

A gift is something we cherish, especially when it's from someone important, but either way, anything given is appreciated in my book. I enjoy giving gifts, just as long as they will accept with a smile.

note: Duck the Fodgers!!!

From A Sibling

charlie: hey do you like [female]? everyone wants her.

joey: hahahaha, then everyone deserves her. too bad there's only one of her. but to answer your question, can't like someone you don't really know.

------------------------------------------------

joey: do you really want vince?

reyna: yeah, i love him.

joey: then why do you want a black guy?

reyna: what? i want them both. have you seen them?

------------------------------------------------

Just a bit of comic relief.
I was actually going to write something significant, but I've gotten really sleepy all of sudden. Work tires me out. It happens. Good night blogger.

Can't wait for Socom 3

Being back at work was exhausting. My minor cold made the day go by even slower. For some reason, waking up was the hardest part of my day. I would think so since I've been spending my nights playing video games.

Was it a mistake to have done anything? One says that things look normal, but my thought process is on a completely different page. I find myself speechless. There are so many times when I just want to blurt out all the things, but all the moments and chances offered are always taken away. I've always believed in hope, but I never expected the consequences to be this way.

I was going to erase this entry, but this is how I feel. I have inner conflict. And it SUCKS. I must say what I believe, 'it happens'. Things are done and happen for a reason. The belief in hope seems to be fading and fate has taken its course. If things happen, then they will. As for waiting, I won't. There was a feeling deep inside me that I once believed that it was meant to be. But, this mentality only leaves one in fantasy. I'm crazy to think.

So, I ask again, was it a mistake to have done anything? No. I had the strong urge to make matters awkward, and they are. The move is no longer mine. The only move I could make is from the beginning.

I want to thank my guests for joining me at the Giants game:
Thank you to...
Mom, Dad, Brothers, Ken, Joaquim, Annamay, Carol, Jason, Scott, Boogs, RJ, Dominic, Randy, Tawny, Jonas, Ted, AnDREa, Gerstein, Alan, Ale, Aris, Albert, Irene, Hsi, Rita, Mitch, Camillay, Jerry, Edison, Phil, Monica, Kristine and guest, and Cynthia.

I am...

...lonely. My arms are made for somebody to be in them. Ha! Corny. Nothing significant to write tonight. I've just thinking about someone off and on. I wonder if...that's it, I just constantly wonder if.

I Must Admit...

The reason why I won't forget this year's birthday is because of the amazing people who I spent it with, and the happy events that occurred. Just around midnight at the start of the 5th, I standing in front of Ulo's house leaving a message when the door opened and Ale & Gerstein came out and blurted "Happy Birthday". My first reaction was to run because I knew Ale wanted to punch me. Why do people hit someone times the number of years they are? Once again, I shrug.

For about a week, I looked forward to my birthday lunch date. I simply asked if she'd like to be my company for lunch, since we haven't really hung out for years upon years. I accused her of being on "girl time" while waiting for her to pick me up. With me being me, I didn't mind. A slight excitement built up when I got her text saying she was coming to get me.

The food category was japanese cuisine, a favorite by both her and I. The only problem was deciding on the venue, which came to be Yo yo Sushi. We ate what we got and the conversations were on the upside and downside. Sometimes you just have to let it out. Learning experiences is what we share. To you, you are great company and I appreciate the times we get to hangout.

As for the Giant's game, they lost, but I didn't really mind this time. My guests made up a good centerfield cheering section, especially Rows 23, 24, and 25. I think the coolest part of the night was when they all sang Happy birthday to me. A little embarrassed at first, but then I decided to let the emotions sulk in and enjoy the moment. Tell me why the Giant's decided to win the next two games after that night. They're currently in the Top 9, 2 outs, behind 1-3. Here is the scoreboard insert that we all missed.



Birthday 26 is in the album and left open for more memories.

Why are horoscopes always on point? (from Yahoo DSL homepage)
"Quickie: You are really happy. You laugh loudly! You stand proudly! You are just right!
Overview: Taking care of your prized possessions will be foremost on your mind now. That goes for your car, your clothes and gifts you've received. Just don't forget about the people in your life who may also feel 'broken.'"

part 2 of #26

The Giants game was 'bomb'. Even though they lost, it tends to happen no matter the luck of you being there or not. I'll continue to type just for the fact that it will increase my whatever. I AM FADED. Donnell, Ulo, and AnDREa bought me drinks at Friday's last night. I AM DIZZY when I close my eyes. I can't blog any more, I'm not thinking straight. All I know is that my guests made the night super cool. Enter #26.

#26 in the books and still going...

Starting off on a good note. Didn't get to see fireworks, in actuality, but it's better than last year, seeing it all on television. As for the fourth, Ulo hosted another one of his zany barbeque's at his house. There was either sitting outside around the grill or inside watching movies. I never thought movies could pass the day by so fast.

9am to 11am The Last Castle
1115am to 1pm Not Another Teen Movie
2pm to 4pm Star Wars IV: A New Hope
4pm to 6pm Star Wars V: Empire Strikes Back
6pm to 8pm Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi

Quick note: Kareoke Revolution is crazy mad fun. Sang The Reason, by Hoobastank, and got 86%. We're still singing. I'll edit this later.

camillay: happy birthday you BIATCH!
ale: GOOD NITE BDAY PERSON!!!!
anDREa: happy birthday to you...happy birthday to you...happy birthday to joey...happy birthday to you
linelle: happy berfday!
cheeky: happppy biiirithdayyy
ss: Se123nitY: hey happy birthday
raych: happy birthday by the way
jamboy: Happy Birthday Cool Guy!
lai: Happy birthday sorry i'm late
cyn: Happy birthday Joey! woohoo! =D nite
marco: Happy birthday joey! Have a wonderful day.
chuck: happy bday butthead
love: Happy bday hero! i didnt 4get. Hope ur having a good one.
DiAnne: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOEY...
yumi: oh happy belated bday

Let's look back:
20 yrs. old
I was in a relationship with Lil at the time. On my birthday, we just stayed at my house in SF. It happened to be my first birthday with someone by my side.

21 yrs. old
I actually went to my Math 161a summer class, which I got a B+ in. After that, I waited for the evening to slowly come. A handful of us went on over to TGIF's, where I took my very first alcoholic beverage. Yes!? I waited until I was legal to drink. After, my e.W.o buddies gave me even more drinks. There's a video, but it will never see another pair of eyes besides mine.

22 yrs. old
Invited friends over to e-dub. We watched the Giants game out on the lawn. By midnight, I had taken 10 shots of yucky stuff. A lot of guests came along to spend a great night with me.

23 yrs. old
Another birthday at the House of Corinth, aka e-dub. This was the ultimate test for me in the alcohol realm. Little did I know that four of my early shots were triples. I nearly matched my age with shots. 22!!! I was completely out. I do remember Ted walking and running around the block with me. Sorry for running Ted. I remember being passed out in the 502 garage and Jerry kneeing me. Bleh.

24 yrs. old
My last recorded birthday at the Akbayan House, aka House of Corinth, aka e-dub. After years of birthdays, this set of guests would be the one's that I would see at the rest of my birthdays until I die. Righteous to the max!

25 yrs. old
Hooter's with a handful of good/great friends, and one bad seed. After the San Jose people left, Edison, Aivy, and I went to the Children's Playground. We went on the sings and went down the cement slide. The night was a bit foggy, reminding me of particular scenes from Fatal Frame 2.

At the moment: Woke up with a minor headache.

24 hours
I had my first Corona(Light) last night.
I sang a duet with a friend that seemed more like a frickin' solo.
I was punched twice by a good friend.
I was punched 50+ times by a female great friend.
I was pressing the snooze bar this morning, but she kept barking at me.
I succeeded in making my bestfriend feel guilt; without even trying.
I made excellent, girthy hamburger patties better than the other chef's little one's.

Pick-up Lines

There are phrases that have the tendency to be used over and over to win the attention of the opposite sex. The belief that flirting will conclude positively is an endless journey that will categorize your position as the comedic friend, that when one decides to act upon a certain dimension, the response tears away the
confidence and self-esteem. But this is beside the whole point of dating, or wanting to find the perfect person for someone.

Is that possible? Wouldn't that mean that the absolute relationship should have happened the moment they met eyes. But wait! There is the possibility that two individuals could be magnetized by the fate that brought them to be in the same place, at that point in time. True love was designed to believe that there is hope. I believe in hope. For those souls who discover that they are destined to be with the right person from that instance.

We, as humans, have an invisible shield that keeps us from falling for the wrong one's. Although, sometimes we interact with someone that can unlock the barriers, realizing Cupid has shot an agonizing arrow. These 'keyholders' could appear at any point in one's life, when you least expect, when you can't help but feel
so vulnerable that anyone could be the next person.

When attraction enters my life, my barriers are unlocked and open to the world. On the other hand, this approach may be the wrong one. The mystery about my life could
lead into something most approving. My characteristics are transparent. I don't have anything to hide. If a question is brought up, I'll answer with truth and
respect. At times, when I feel the need to keep in a piece of my puzzle, I will withstand.

Make like Dean Martin and sing with me..."You're Nobody 'Til Somebody Loves You."

I want to believe that there is someone out there for me. I don't look. God knows I don't look. The one for me is out there. The one for you is out there too. You
too, you'll find her. Some of the cliches that are crap are:

"Love happens when you least expect it."
Meaning: If you stop attempting, it won't jump in front of you. Nothing happens when nothing is done.

"Let it go. If it comes back again, it's meant to be."
Meaning: Ha! Are you serious? If it didn't work the first time, what makes you think it'll work the second, or the third. I guess this is where hope comes in.

"He/She promised they wouldn't cheat on me again."
Meaning: ... (I'm kidding. I just hear this from a bunch of my friends, and Ya'll never listen to me. Stupid!!!

"The love of your life is right in front of you."
Meaning: If they are, you don't need to open eyes, they just need to make a better impression on you.

***Disclaimer: This is opinion only. My pov is always open for pros or cons.

On a happier note, Happy Independence Day. I say this a lot, but, the only reason we use fireworks on the 4th is to open my Birthday with a BANG! Bangggg-A-Ranggg!

I'll admit it, I'm turning 26, not 21 plus 5!

note: At Ulo's house, 3:57am. Entered with You Got Served and concluded the video evening with Hitch. The script writer is a romantic. Such
words. Good night!

Sayings

You can love someone forever, but love changes. love isn't a one road definition. - josh.gumbi

Until Tuesday.

People have always told me that I wasn't a certain person's type. How can someone other than the actual person tell me I'm not there type? For those of you who keep up with me, my attraction towards others was always too analytical. This time, I need to play it cool. Who knows? She's probably just being friendly like she was way back when. I've always been the type to keep hope alive. I am all about hope. Hope sucks!!! So, until Tuesday.

note: Giants rock my socks.

In An Instant...

My emotions could change in an instant. It could be the influence of watching another sappy love movie. At the moment, 50 First Dates is showing on 559 HBOCM. Adamn Sandler is still a hilarious angry person. Memory is the one thing that a lot of people take for granted. When we are reintroduced to some people and we stay quiet about not knowing who they are, it gives you an uncomfortable feeling. In that case, there is no guilt in forgetting someone, even if it is family. Within that instant, there shouldn't be a reason for the situation to go sour.

My emotions could change in an instant. Laughter can overcome all influences of negative feelings. After watching a sappy love/hate movie, my eyes are cast upon an episode of Friends. Comedy is my cure to it all. The moment something occurs, my smile enlarges into an instant "lol".

My emotions could change in an instant. My control to click on certain links seems to fade out. The information I read could turn to the worst. Blah.

I'll be back...