"when i lay next to you while you sleep...i ask you if i love you. love is special to me, and you are special to me...come the day when i say those precious words to you, i want you to know that its coming from my heart...like everything else. saying words is harder than typing thoughts."
Wednesday, May 28, 2003
Tuesday, May 27, 2003
Listening to the air that passes through hollow gap between my ears
The best advice that I have given to one, yet all of my close encounters of this kind is...relationship.
I speak what is best, yet it is only my opinion. Even the best of people have problems with their significant persons in their lives. Tell you the truth, even I have these problems with my girlfriend. The solution to most quarrels, conflicts, errors is communication. Yet, do not entirely use this as the result may become tiresome. I'm not here to tell you how to fix your troubles with yours, but only to help you understand the person that is angry or pissed off at you. If you do not try to know that person, then nothing is worth working.
The best advice that I have given to one, yet all of my close encounters of this kind is...relationship.
I speak what is best, yet it is only my opinion. Even the best of people have problems with their significant persons in their lives. Tell you the truth, even I have these problems with my girlfriend. The solution to most quarrels, conflicts, errors is communication. Yet, do not entirely use this as the result may become tiresome. I'm not here to tell you how to fix your troubles with yours, but only to help you understand the person that is angry or pissed off at you. If you do not try to know that person, then nothing is worth working.
Thursday, May 22, 2003
Sweating my pains off with Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
In due time we all say farewell to such things, though we feel that good-bye's may be too much for some to handle. I lead my life believing that in front of me I will try to succeed in all I do. Thinking positively is not entirely the correct way of thinking. We all fail in some things. We all put our heads down in disbelief once or twice in this eccentric world. Over and over, we deal with obstacles that push us more away from what we are pulling ourselves to reach. Like the rest of us, my colleagues, my friends, my family, my world around me is the strength that empowers me, us, to stay on our two feet. God has given us arms and our hands and our fingers to guide our body to pick ourselvses back up. And for the misfortunate souls who've lost these limbs, we look for friends, around us to assist us in helping us with taking on goals. On other perspectives, there is always the occasional question of the what if's. (to be continued)
In due time we all say farewell to such things, though we feel that good-bye's may be too much for some to handle. I lead my life believing that in front of me I will try to succeed in all I do. Thinking positively is not entirely the correct way of thinking. We all fail in some things. We all put our heads down in disbelief once or twice in this eccentric world. Over and over, we deal with obstacles that push us more away from what we are pulling ourselves to reach. Like the rest of us, my colleagues, my friends, my family, my world around me is the strength that empowers me, us, to stay on our two feet. God has given us arms and our hands and our fingers to guide our body to pick ourselvses back up. And for the misfortunate souls who've lost these limbs, we look for friends, around us to assist us in helping us with taking on goals. On other perspectives, there is always the occasional question of the what if's. (to be continued)
Sunday, May 18, 2003
Sharing the sounds of life with Breaking The Habit - Linkin Park
Los Angeles - IHATEDISLIKE IT. My sanity was controlled by my significant. The traffic, the weather, the constant a/c, the entrance and exiting merging lanes onto the fast lanes, the reason for so many accidents is because of their faster flow of traffic, the three or more merging freeways every three miles, the three lanes or less causing the traffic, the smog, the yuck feeling once you stand outside, the Lakers, the Angels, the scary feeling that the city will be attacked because the outside feel that LA is an important city. If we take LA from the world, what would happen? We would have more water to distribute amongst the people of California, esp. San Jose, the clusters of brown air will be non-existent, movies will get better because most of the good movies were made external LA, independent films are better, according to my significant. The weekend was expanded our relationship to even greater heights. May it be slightly or over the bakod, sleeping on separate couches as we sleep in a cabin-like environment. Waking to the sounds of Jackie, Ali, and Coops beating those...glass doors. You fit perfectly in your family, yet I feel you have your own identity, own personality to offer your family. Your contribution to my life is worth-while. I enjoyed your family presence. Significant? Here is to Kettlemen City, Wasco, Commerce for letting us sleep under your lights because we were so tired. Armando and Stitch for dancing when the Ska-Punk Cover CD was playing. To the five cars that we able to pass me on highway 5 because everyone is slow, to Figueroa and Hollywood exits, ya'll suck. 110N and S, 101N and S, if ya'll were binary numbers, i'd love ya, but i hate ya. With another memorable weekend behind me, I say hello to reality, back to the clean air. Bay Area, take advantage of what you have now because this weather is the bomb. The hottest day in the Bay is still way better than the average day in LA. Thank you for inviting me Aivy-Bear. Everything was fun, except for the traffic. The food was great. woohoo..."Who's Paul?" "Forget this, I quit." "Terminate the call n@#$%." "Being irish and ilocano negate each other."
Los Angeles - I
Thursday, May 15, 2003
Listening to Isn't She Lovely - Stevie Wonder
Bringing my life back to when I was just entering college. That was far back, way back. I was single, unpopular, smart, and full of happiness. After nearly six years, I am now in a wonderful relationship, my own identity, intelligent, and still full of happiness. After nearly six years, I reminisce on all the incredible memories. After nearly six years, the ups and downs have made a smoother path in front. After nearly six years, I've grown six years too much to say goodbye. Quite possibly, it would have all been over after four and a half years, unfortunately, the school of computer science denied my existence as one of their own. Luckily, the faithful step into 'engineering' pursued my directional hypothesis. As for six years of friends and friendships, relationships, all of you I will never forget. I can't believe I've sat in front of that student union for eleven semesters. What? Not twelve? My first semester was my way to explore the dorms with my pals Liza, Sheryl, Kari. If it hadn't been for Alliance for Minority Participation (AMP), I wouldn't have met the exclusive group of individuals that I call my 'engineering buddies'. Though most of us were in engineering or computer science, most of us ended up in the inevitable Industrial Technology courses, currently graduating together.
You may go through college with one set of friends, and then suddenly jump to a new 'clic'. According to how my ways, the new always set in while the old still stay. Edison, I finally got you to go to an Akbayan event. Even though it took six years. Valley West Apartments!!! Yeah buddy. Goodness. I made way to many great friends, and zero bad ones. If it wasn't for the friendships, I'd still be in school right now...haha. Even though its still kind of early, here it goes:
Acknowledgements (Part I)
To the people of AMP...woohoo $900 for 4 weeks of nothing.
To Akbayan...leave me alone, I'll come back...when I want to.
To e.W.o...what can I say, that's my family. no really. that's my family. two brothers.
To Akbayan Cabinet Spring 2000...must I say more.
To Flowerboy...you know I'm there, tryin' to keep your eyes off those other booties.
To Miranda Park...you helped Akbayan get back on its feet. tito sonni will never die!
To my teachers...ya'll suck!!! esp. you Dr. Day, Math129a. my first F. <^> O-O
To my Valley West roomies...those were the days. the view was great, right over the pool.
To P.R.I.M.E...we were the dopest singing group of its time, too bad time stood still. we were good...right?
To PCN1999...that script will be resurrected.
To <||>...Man Down! <||>barrelman fragged <||>reckanoize with M4A1 SD
(more later- including Friendship Games 1997-2003, Carlyle, Peanuts, Food Bazaar, Ulo, and much more)
Bringing my life back to when I was just entering college. That was far back, way back. I was single, unpopular, smart, and full of happiness. After nearly six years, I am now in a wonderful relationship, my own identity, intelligent, and still full of happiness. After nearly six years, I reminisce on all the incredible memories. After nearly six years, the ups and downs have made a smoother path in front. After nearly six years, I've grown six years too much to say goodbye. Quite possibly, it would have all been over after four and a half years, unfortunately, the school of computer science denied my existence as one of their own. Luckily, the faithful step into 'engineering' pursued my directional hypothesis. As for six years of friends and friendships, relationships, all of you I will never forget. I can't believe I've sat in front of that student union for eleven semesters. What? Not twelve? My first semester was my way to explore the dorms with my pals Liza, Sheryl, Kari. If it hadn't been for Alliance for Minority Participation (AMP), I wouldn't have met the exclusive group of individuals that I call my 'engineering buddies'. Though most of us were in engineering or computer science, most of us ended up in the inevitable Industrial Technology courses, currently graduating together.
You may go through college with one set of friends, and then suddenly jump to a new 'clic'. According to how my ways, the new always set in while the old still stay. Edison, I finally got you to go to an Akbayan event. Even though it took six years. Valley West Apartments!!! Yeah buddy. Goodness. I made way to many great friends, and zero bad ones. If it wasn't for the friendships, I'd still be in school right now...haha. Even though its still kind of early, here it goes:
Acknowledgements (Part I)
To the people of AMP...woohoo $900 for 4 weeks of nothing.
To Akbayan...leave me alone, I'll come back...when I want to.
To e.W.o...what can I say, that's my family. no really. that's my family. two brothers.
To Akbayan Cabinet Spring 2000...must I say more.
To Flowerboy...you know I'm there, tryin' to keep your eyes off those other booties.
To Miranda Park...you helped Akbayan get back on its feet. tito sonni will never die!
To my teachers...ya'll suck!!! esp. you Dr. Day, Math129a. my first F. <^> O-O
To my Valley West roomies...those were the days. the view was great, right over the pool.
To P.R.I.M.E...we were the dopest singing group of its time, too bad time stood still. we were good...right?
To PCN1999...that script will be resurrected.
To <||>...Man Down! <||>barrelman fragged <||>reckanoize with M4A1 SD
(more later- including Friendship Games 1997-2003, Carlyle, Peanuts, Food Bazaar, Ulo, and much more)
Wednesday, May 14, 2003
Listening to Michael Jackson Medley
I've had the weirdest dreams lately. Both of them are about or related to Akbayan.
Dream One Sequence - It was like a low budget production of our PCS that recently just passed. Jebus. I was like running back and forth through a maze of hallways trying to get to the stage. The stage was completely blackened except for the fangirls, princess, umbrella-girl and clappers. From the look of this dream, its singkil that we're performing. It hasn't reached my part yet, so I go off stage and look around through a lobby that brings me to my old high school's lobby. My dream continues to get even more weird. I'm like in the audience and I see that my friend gail is in the prince outfit that I wore (sorry gail) and I was like, its not my time to enter the dance yet. It is almost time, so I run along backstage and then I warp into another dream that was senseless because all I did was stand there. From what it seemed, I stood there for at least five minutes. Suddenly, I jump back into my previous PCS dream, and I find out that singkil entourage are sitting backstage feeling a sense of relief. Tears begin run down my face, and an urge of emotional sadness flows through my physical body. Still in my dream, I fell to my knees and cried to myself while everyone just sat there and watched. After that, I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock because I had a 730 class. Dreams are really weird.
Dream Two Sequence - This is the weird dream that I spoke to Adan about. For some reason everyone tried to grab the socks that he was trying to wear. And then, with what I did, assuming that it would be funny, I took his socks and ran. When I was hiding, I stretched them out super long...like from regular sized socks to almost 6-feet. Remember: its a dream. When I handed him his socks, he got really mad at me. And then after, everyone started calling me mean. Kind of like the way Alexis tells everyone is mean. So I ran, while everyone started to fade out. Why am I having these dreams?
I've had the weirdest dreams lately. Both of them are about or related to Akbayan.
Dream One Sequence - It was like a low budget production of our PCS that recently just passed. Jebus. I was like running back and forth through a maze of hallways trying to get to the stage. The stage was completely blackened except for the fangirls, princess, umbrella-girl and clappers. From the look of this dream, its singkil that we're performing. It hasn't reached my part yet, so I go off stage and look around through a lobby that brings me to my old high school's lobby. My dream continues to get even more weird. I'm like in the audience and I see that my friend gail is in the prince outfit that I wore (sorry gail) and I was like, its not my time to enter the dance yet. It is almost time, so I run along backstage and then I warp into another dream that was senseless because all I did was stand there. From what it seemed, I stood there for at least five minutes. Suddenly, I jump back into my previous PCS dream, and I find out that singkil entourage are sitting backstage feeling a sense of relief. Tears begin run down my face, and an urge of emotional sadness flows through my physical body. Still in my dream, I fell to my knees and cried to myself while everyone just sat there and watched. After that, I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock because I had a 730 class. Dreams are really weird.
Dream Two Sequence - This is the weird dream that I spoke to Adan about. For some reason everyone tried to grab the socks that he was trying to wear. And then, with what I did, assuming that it would be funny, I took his socks and ran. When I was hiding, I stretched them out super long...like from regular sized socks to almost 6-feet. Remember: its a dream. When I handed him his socks, he got really mad at me. And then after, everyone started calling me mean. Kind of like the way Alexis tells everyone is mean. So I ran, while everyone started to fade out. Why am I having these dreams?
Sunday, May 11, 2003
Listening to Breaking The Habit - Linkin Park
My saturday seemed like such a thing you would see in a Lions Gate Film. Is it ever possible that reality is just a television or movie for some greater being? Are we forced to believe that there is a matrix, that we are stage props for someone's more popular life. Is there a boundary that we can't bare to surpass because our fears limit us from what's out there?
Second Level of Hell
You have come to a place mute of all light, where the wind bellows as the sea does in a tempest. This is the realm where the lustful spend eternity. Here, sinners are blown around endlessly by the unforgiving winds of unquenchable desire as punishment for their transgressions. The infernal hurricane that never rests hurtles the spirits onward in its rapine, whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. You have betrayed reason at the behest of your appetite for pleasure, and so here you are doomed to remain. Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate.
My saturday seemed like such a thing you would see in a Lions Gate Film. Is it ever possible that reality is just a television or movie for some greater being? Are we forced to believe that there is a matrix, that we are stage props for someone's more popular life. Is there a boundary that we can't bare to surpass because our fears limit us from what's out there?
Second Level of Hell
You have come to a place mute of all light, where the wind bellows as the sea does in a tempest. This is the realm where the lustful spend eternity. Here, sinners are blown around endlessly by the unforgiving winds of unquenchable desire as punishment for their transgressions. The infernal hurricane that never rests hurtles the spirits onward in its rapine, whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. You have betrayed reason at the behest of your appetite for pleasure, and so here you are doomed to remain. Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate.
Friday, May 09, 2003
Listening to the late sounds of socom
"With my Stitch on lap as I play, I think about her sleeping in my bed. So warm, and so precious that she lays in my blankets. I'll be there soon, but not late. Finally, as we lay in one another's arms, my breath will eventually pace with yours, my body temperature will raise and use each other as generator's of heat. Sleep well my off-stage princess, for thou will be awakening soon, to flow into the realities of life. Fearless features of friend fawn. Good nite."
"With my Stitch on lap as I play, I think about her sleeping in my bed. So warm, and so precious that she lays in my blankets. I'll be there soon, but not late. Finally, as we lay in one another's arms, my breath will eventually pace with yours, my body temperature will raise and use each other as generator's of heat. Sleep well my off-stage princess, for thou will be awakening soon, to flow into the realities of life. Fearless features of friend fawn. Good nite."
Tuesday, May 06, 2003
Listening to the fan in my computer
"Weird stuff occurs when moods change. Wondering why, trying to understand how, and wanting to know what can be done. Am I as bad as I feel I am?"
My rating is high for my disorder. Aivy tells me that I need attention. My whole youthful experience gained attention from mainly my family. Almost a year ago, the whole place I can ask for attention is when I go back home. People around school have others to think about while I had my mind on my own. To this present day, she tells me that all the attention I need in this part of my life comes from a single soul, body, mind. And it is so true. The spoiling that I give was said, and now the type of spoiling on my behalf is histrionic. Best in life my.
To my papa, Happy Birthday. My apologies that I didn't get a chance to say Happy Birthday, but I told you how I usually feel. You taught me well. The patience and low-temper has given me a life of pace-slow measurements. Though I feel you will not be reading this, my mind and spirit embraces your well being that you are the best father this son can have. Best in life my.
And people...please, read me - and keep me here. not there.
"Weird stuff occurs when moods change. Wondering why, trying to understand how, and wanting to know what can be done. Am I as bad as I feel I am?"
My rating is high for my disorder. Aivy tells me that I need attention. My whole youthful experience gained attention from mainly my family. Almost a year ago, the whole place I can ask for attention is when I go back home. People around school have others to think about while I had my mind on my own. To this present day, she tells me that all the attention I need in this part of my life comes from a single soul, body, mind. And it is so true. The spoiling that I give was said, and now the type of spoiling on my behalf is histrionic. Best in life my.
To my papa, Happy Birthday. My apologies that I didn't get a chance to say Happy Birthday, but I told you how I usually feel. You taught me well. The patience and low-temper has given me a life of pace-slow measurements. Though I feel you will not be reading this, my mind and spirit embraces your well being that you are the best father this son can have. Best in life my.
And people...please, read me - and keep me here. not there.
Monday, May 05, 2003
Thursday, May 01, 2003
I'm not done yet. My picks for Fall 2003 Akbayan Cabinet. it's like they're a sporting draft. sheesh.
Pres: Jonas *interned
VP: Allen *experience
sec: Gail
treas: Blake
social: Alexis
cultural: Leanne
PR: Vesper, Kathleen
Newsletter: Michelle
Webmaster: Rhia
Community: Ann
Historian: Aldrich *experience
Scary, but I think they can accept the torch with "pride, dignity, and enthusiasm."
Pres: Jonas *interned
VP: Allen *experience
sec: Gail
treas: Blake
social: Alexis
cultural: Leanne
PR: Vesper, Kathleen
Newsletter: Michelle
Webmaster: Rhia
Community: Ann
Historian: Aldrich *experience
Scary, but I think they can accept the torch with "pride, dignity, and enthusiasm."
Listening to Piece of My Heart
I updated some more on the links column. I haven't updated my list in so long. There you go people, I want to be able to become a source that you all can look to as a guide because I have nothing else to do. Yes I do. I have the option of making a certain someone glow. She is my glow-worm. Wiggle my shingle. At this moment, I'm wondering where she could be, but I'm trying not to worry. I could pick up the phone and find out where she is, but I shall continue to wait online or whatever. Being the boyfriend that I am, I like to believe that my mind is on her and other things. She's out there, nearly and under thirty miles away doing her thing. The greatest part of our relationship is the freedom and independence we give each and one another. She does her thing, and I do mine. Some people think that there are no awkward moments between her and I, but there are. What? Do you think that we're 1 and 1, 2 and 2. We're normal human beings that know faithfulness and honesty-driven personalities make things work.
"I Love You". Do we need to say something we don't know means? I'm not going to assumingly feel that these three words are going to make things better. Its a feeling that just comes out one day. I admit that the "I lahhh..." part comes out, but I usually stop and then the bulb above her head brightens and digs through my mouth wondering what I was about to say. It happens, but sometime it doesn't happen. Words can't bring two people alone, but words, actions, and emotions bring forth the undying feeling, presence of divinity, that a simple 4-letter word can purposely make another feel.
Bunny. I like you...a lot. You make the shine of the sun blaze across the distance, giving me a warm spray of sigh. Mushy-mushy. Bleh!
I updated some more on the links column. I haven't updated my list in so long. There you go people, I want to be able to become a source that you all can look to as a guide because I have nothing else to do. Yes I do. I have the option of making a certain someone glow. She is my glow-worm. Wiggle my shingle. At this moment, I'm wondering where she could be, but I'm trying not to worry. I could pick up the phone and find out where she is, but I shall continue to wait online or whatever. Being the boyfriend that I am, I like to believe that my mind is on her and other things. She's out there, nearly and under thirty miles away doing her thing. The greatest part of our relationship is the freedom and independence we give each and one another. She does her thing, and I do mine. Some people think that there are no awkward moments between her and I, but there are. What? Do you think that we're 1 and 1, 2 and 2. We're normal human beings that know faithfulness and honesty-driven personalities make things work.
"I Love You". Do we need to say something we don't know means? I'm not going to assumingly feel that these three words are going to make things better. Its a feeling that just comes out one day. I admit that the "I lahhh..." part comes out, but I usually stop and then the bulb above her head brightens and digs through my mouth wondering what I was about to say. It happens, but sometime it doesn't happen. Words can't bring two people alone, but words, actions, and emotions bring forth the undying feeling, presence of divinity, that a simple 4-letter word can purposely make another feel.
Bunny. I like you...a lot. You make the shine of the sun blaze across the distance, giving me a warm spray of sigh. Mushy-mushy. Bleh!
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