Where is it, I can't stand it. Everyday that passes, I feel more reason to believe that everything is happening for a reason. The suspension, the hockey lockout, my unwillingness to achieve a damn goal. Is it the fact that I'm not getting anywhere because I'm not putting my foot forward. But I do. I do take initiative. I cannot lower my chin in shame, I must do what I must to expand my horizons with life. I cannot lose, I will not lose, I will not be defeated. I have the will, and the way to make things happen. I've done it once, I can do it again and again.

note: I'm going passively crazy!

visuals: The Sweetest Thing (2002).

I'm in a place where I haven't been in weeks, maybe months. After over a year of working for a place of aches and pains, I've become even more different from the rest of the drivers. Breaking down the situation, I've become a "wanted" man and I walked right into their trap. Let's rewind and begin this story.

INT grocery wherehouse area

BG forklifts and people speaking loudly

FADE IN

JOEY, 25, continues to walk up ramp, entering the backdoor of the grocery store. While entering, there is a number of people inside the office awaiting the arrival of this prestigious gentleman. Joey walks into the office to find the infamous, let's name them TONY & SONY, lovers of the corporate world. Immediately, I say hello to MARCO, 31, while being asked to spoken to by Sony. They walk to a secluded place to exchange words that will affect Joey, temporarily.

JOEY(calm): What's up!?
SONY: I don't want you to freak out or anything, but we're going to have to suspend you.
JOEY(shocked): Why? What did I do?
SONY: We received a call from customer service that you accepted gratuity from a customer.

Joey jumps back and realizes that what came around finally went around.

SONY: Please sign this. It states that you've been suspended for 3-days without pay. Although, I don't know if you'll be in any financial situations, so I'll pull some strings and see if you could get vacation pay.

FADE OUT

That is why I'm home now.

note: New job here I come!

listening to: Happy Hardcore - Mike Tyson's Punch Out theme

The greatest part about living away from home is simply living away from home. I don't know if some people know what this actually means. It means living dependent solely on your own. I've witnessed a lot of spoiled individuals this past year. Other than my own spoiled self, I can honestly live without the aid of my family. They have their own lives to go on with, and I have my own. Since December 2003, I moved out of my mother's home once again to thrive in my own achievements. Before moving back to San Francisco, in August 2003, I shared a flat with at least four roommates, two being my older brothers. There were times when I thought I wouldn't be able to live on my own, but after witnessing financial struggles, I can take control of the leisures and luxuries in life. Paying bills and rent is the main concern at the end or beginning of each month. I don't ask for money from parents or brothers, I make sure my bank account is balanced and has a legitimate amount of money to last until another pay day. The only assistance that I asked for, since living on my own, was laundry. Every now and then the dirty laundry was washed at the laundrymat around the corner, but sometimes, I don't feel like paying nearly $10 just to do two or three loads, washing and drying. Bottomline, if you plan on living away from home, pretend there is no one out there to help you.

This December is the one year anniversary at the Pacific Heights home. It is also time to move out because the parking situation here is terrible. I think I've accumulated nearly a thousand dollars worth of tickets. Looking at the price of houses to lease in Daly City is cheap compared to San Francisco. Aivy and I plan to move out of this wasp-infested neighborhood. Soon enough, we'll attempt to find a place for Edison, Aivy, and myself somewhere away from the stresses of San Francisco residents. I've looked at craigslist and found this one place with a pool, at the top of one of those hills. It is nice! I'll show it to you when you get home, babble.

I have work on Columbus Day! Blah!
I'm ranked 5,588 out of 3,000,000 players online for Socom 2. Yay!
The LA Dodgers lost against the StL Cardinals. Yay!
I didn't win the Calottery on Saturday night. Blah!
I cleaned my kitchen and bedroom a little. Yay!
Armando Bear is the GREY ONE!

note: Fleet Week came and gone like a jet breaking the sound barrier.

to babble: You are mine, forever! Remember that because I love you. I cherish your existence in my life. My heart is your heart.

Favorite SF Eateries:
- Coriya Hot Pot City (Clement St. b/w 9th & 10th)
- Nagano Sushi (Geary Blvd. b/w Arguello & 1st)
- In 'n Out (Jefferson St. b/w Jones & Leavenworth)
- Hunan Chinese (Divisidero St. b/w Pine & Bush)
- Philly Cheesesteak (Divisidero St. b/w Bush & Sutter)
- Extreme Pizza (Fillmore St. b/w Sutter & Post)
- Safeway (all of them, esp. Geary and Webster)

I was going to write something really interesting, but I totally forgot what the topic was. Bebeh and I were in Ziggy on our ride back home from Marco's birthday, but the "topic" slipped my mind. Well, until next time, be good, take care, and welcome home Bluey. You're still loved even though you're missing a passenger seat. (wiping tears of happiness) Yay Bluey's back!!!!

note: sentimental means passion for.

At the moment...
...hungry.
...missing my bebeh.
...upset that the Giants have been eliminated from the Post Season.
...wondering if the 49ers will tie up this game against the Rams.
...trying to keep myself warm because San Francisco's weather is cold.
...watching my Socom Online rank get better and better.
...figuring out how I'm going to raise money to pay off rent.
...want to rearrange apartment, but it's too cold.
...making Mando dance.
...wiggling my foot.
...determining my future with the presidential election (Vote for Affleck)
...typing out what I'm doing at the moment because I can't figure out what to write about.
...resting my legs because I had a long day at work.
...pondering about joining a union.
...praying for Bebeh's safe ride home.
...reading Ulo's xanga and agreeing with his view, why are Bay Area teams unsuccessful.
...laughing at a commercial where people don't know how to drive.
...digesting my Subway sandwich from earlier.
...hungry.
...SAFETY to Faulk!!!
...rubbing my cold feet.
...reading about the NHL lockout. (Depressing)
...wishing I had more money to spend on useless things.
...waiting for Bebeh to come home.
...getting sleepy.

note: Go... I don't know which team to support. 49ers!!!!

Giants still have a chance for the Wild Card. Astros must lose today or tomorrow while the Giants MUST win tomorrow. I can't believe the upset. Anyway, I can't let sports, such as baseball, let me down. I have to support the National Hockey League. The season must stay alive, or else I'll have nothing to support except the struggling, 'rookie' 49er team.
I've been a serious Giants fan for the past five seasons. During the middle of the
2000 season, I would get home from classes and hear RJ screaming for the Giants to win. Game after game, my interest grew while the NHL season took the majority of my excitement. By the 2001 season, I was watching each game with my roommates at 502, rooting for Barry Bonds, Jeff Kent, Rob Nen, etc. The 2002 season was the most incredible because they made it all the way to the World Series. That series was the most memorable for me because I stayed with them from game one of the post season. Unfortunately, they lost in Game 6 against Alfred's team, Anaheim Angels. So, grief during these games won't compare to that World Series loss. Giants are #1.

note: More later on.