The thoughts that fill this brain are endless. I can't remember when an idea wasn't interrupted by another pointless notion. As an emotional person, I absorb what comes to me and react unknowingly. There are greater reasons why my opinions can’t simply disappear. We all remember everything that happens to us, big or small.
I think about my future. I endure the fact that my life isn’t going anywhere at the moment. Every day at work I continue to tell myself, “Why the hell am I here?” The stupid reason that I continue to tell myself is that I don’t have enough experience. After sulking and blaming myself for my misfortune, I push myself to believe that my skills will grow more and more if quitting is not the option.
Is my knowledge enough? Are my skills ready to see the outside world? Have I encouraged my mind to believe that better grades will benefit your future career? Is my Bachelor’s degree a waste of time? I find myself believing that I chose the wrong major for myself. I enjoy learning about computers, the software, and the hardware, anything that involves technology. But, there’s that doubt that I dove into the industry. According to my current manager, he sees my potential. Unfortunately, my words are just words and not experience. So, if engineering is believed to be my wrong choice, then what would or should the correct choice be? Mathematics? Teaching? Theatre? Have I lived my life to the fullest? How many times have I told myself that I have? B.S. My life has just started. I’m stupid for thinking that way.
As I take the initiative to improve my chances of finding beneficial employment, I want to make sure that this choice is temporary. It is just experience. I won’t be gone that long, unless I like it there. Everyday, you just have to continue to motivate yourself. Once you reach this point, only you are there for yourself. “I will progress. I have the will.”
In other regions of my cranium, B.M.P. is reaching new heights. As a new business arises, we all make mistakes that we must learn from. Enthusiasm, teamwork, and exposure will guide us to greatness. The skills and the talent surround our circle. We are friends, but we are also a business team. Keep the friendship and the business separate. Within time, we will succeed in integrating the two. With BMP growing, my brain isn’t too occupied.
You take up a part of my thinking process. I think about all the ways I could put a smile on your face. I think about how nervous it would be to hold your hand for the first time. I think about how you’ll reject me. I think about the moment when I'll get to see your eyes stare into mine. I think about that glowing smile that melts my heart. I just think … you are worth the squeeze.
My future grasps the majority of my thoughts. As for this past weekend, congrats and thanks for the invites by the two grads and birthday girl. Ted and Allen, enjoy the beginning of the rest of your life. Happy birthday once again to Andrea on your 22nd birthday, I hope you enjoyed the company of yours truly. You teach your brother the ways.
Quote: “Lemme tell you the first rule of politics; Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze.” – The Girl Next Door