Sometimes writing can also soothe my mind into thinking too much. Realizing that my grandma is in the hospital isn't new to me. She was there once, she got better. She's there again, she's doing well. Knowing she's in a place of safety calms me.
-ironically-
Being in a hospital scares me. I fear the presence of pain, misery, loneliness, isolation, and depression. I don't know where my trauma comes from. There have always been the few times when I would be going there to visit family, which wasn't a matter to worry much about. The longer she's in there, the more I think about it. The longer I worry about her health and wonder if she'll be coming home sooner or later. As long as she has her baseball, she'll rest and recover with her sports...
...blah.