"Why must I be in such a state of mind that isn't what most people see. Believe me, it's not a curse. It is possibly a compliment of bliss. Another thing, that last phrase is something that sounds intelligent, but really, I don't know what it means. Who cares? Trying to sound in intelligent is better that actually being intelligent. Whatever I say to myself when someone comes up to me and says that I'm thinking nonsense. Like the thought of popularity over knowledge is the existence of the world wounding and rounding making others believe that school and academics is the cure to all poverty. Not likely that I will find employment through the learning experience that this piece of paper might say that I've strived four, five, and even six years to take grasp of. Pathetic is not only the conspiracy of such a nation of miscommunication, but great diversity. We are free from dictatorship, yet we all struggle to make ourselves find a leader to lead us to happiness. Democracy and the Republic is a straight-forward government that we long to find so understanding by the 'father's" of this country. The great Washington's and Roosevelt's were and are history. We now live through a terrible happiness and we strive through this heavenly sadness of fantasy, ecstasy, and reality.


My view's on life seem to surpass not only me, but the common person. Most of the time it doesn't make sense through words, but it puts the puzzle in mind into a jigsaw completion. Though, as I drink my $1.29, 2-liter bottle of Mountain Dew, from a venue that tends to fall apart like a mudball in the rain, I take this glass, lift it up, and take my time to taste what was cheap, delicious, and easy to take grasp of because its affordable. How did I make a transition from government to consumer production, I don't know. All I know is that the money in my pocket will not be there for such a long time. As my money falls, another rises. Which brings me back to the thought of who you know to make a future out of your life. As of now, I struggle to receive, not just a passing grade, not just the medium, but the perfection of the first letter of the alphabet on papers, exams, and the thought that school, career, family is what America's message sends to us. The picture that I see is, I want not what every American wants, I want what no one needs. If I could go back in time, and take my life into the savage life, maybe I would. The history books put this portrait of early civilization. How do we know that really happened? How do we really know anything that happened yesterday before we were born?


I look around my room and find all of the materialistic things that I own. What could I be rid of? Everything? Somethings? For one thing, all my books can go because I need them to get my diploma which means nothing unless you 'know' people. Another thing could be all the different types of clothes in my closet. I can live with little enough clothes. I can live with a pair of shoes. I change my clothes everyday because people find that change is important and that wearing the same clothes every single day is weird and disgusting. Is it really? The mentality of everything is based on...day to day beliefs. 'Nough said.


This being St. Valentine's Day, I believe in spending another day with my other the same we always spend it. Everytime we're close, we're close. Close as in, communication, romanticizing, taking each step of our relationship further than before. Not a drastic jump, but small bits. Chocalates, gifts, roses? How 'bout Wendy's 5 nuggets, fries, rice, hotdogs, and mountain dew? Also, an afternoon of video games. Is this a healthy relationship that will go sour? I doubt that because the time spent together is based on one mind struggling on the same goal. In this case, she's a keeper, I'm lucky, and the next step is ready to step through the door."