Listening to The Other Two : Selfish
Something I've been thinking about. Maybe its just silly, but I need to get it out. The growth of this organization that I'm in fluctuates. Sometimes there are leaders who do the job, and there are followers who find that the leaders aren't nothing more than followers themselves. As for me, I like to see myself as both. I wouldn't mind seeing a little bit more leader in me, but I don't like the feeling of pressure and stress and frustration. Overall, I like to just get things done. I love to succeed and make things work. This club, Akbayan, it has its ups and downs. Most of the time, it breaks even, but the other twenty-five percents, they fail and fail even more. How does Akbayan possibly fall into the red. How do we find ourselves to climb out of holes. Why do we try hard enough to pull ourselves out? Like a very few who are in this organization, they see comfort and a place to escape to during classes and exams. But at the same time, will they go forth and stand tall with this "just an organization" kind of ordeal. I don't know. Most of the time, I like to find myself trying to keep something alive by ultimately putting my foot into the door. Never letting that room become closed to the world. Exactly how it feels when we all must let go of things, places, memories that we hold dear to us. Akbayan isn't just a place to have shows, and hang out, but more of a beginning to build whatever it is you may look for. And when you find it, grasp it and don't let go. If you do let go, you'll end up being just another picture in the photo albums. Having new members asking, "Who is that?" Sometimes I'm having flashbacks to my first days in Akbayan. I was the quietest one of course with the old school people kicking it at the Akbayan house / e.W.o house / House of Corinth. This house of ours gave birth to three Akbayan president's in the late 90's and the first millenium. Oh the days when I could call out the oldest people and make fun of them because they are still in college. The tables have turned and now I have to face the misery. Is it such a bad thing to have. Now necessarily. I'm not having such regrets about being in such a position. I like being the mighty 'jedi' or the guy who knows what's been done or the Manong or Kuya that people can turn to and say, "You're old." I will be saying my farewells soon. From the first day that I was Fundraiser, I must admit that Akbayan stressed the "heck" out of me. From the first PCN in 1998 to maybe my last one this year, I shall never forget all these wonderful people that have made a perfect path to what I'm going to look forward to. Good Night.