If my life was based on a novel, the reader would bookmark the page, close the book, and breathe in the toxic air. I've analyzed the things I've done to get where I am now, and the waiting begins. Everyday I wake up to the beeping of my phone, slide off my futon about an hour before I'm determined to clock into work, and begin the constant routine of real existence.
What I thought 2005 was going to be like has really turned a complete difference of reality? I've fought with depression, relief, sadness, happiness, isolation, and all these other emotions that maybe I was destined to feel out of mere experience. All I can say is, things happen. Not because they have to, but because they just do. We can't stop what's going to happen, no one can control another person's thought, I just live until the day we all must pass.
I take pride in my recent employment because it keeps my mind busy. Downside is that by the end of the workday, my life slumps back down because I just roll onto my bed and sleep, just to await the next exciting life of me. At least I'm no longer living paycheck to paycheck, kinda. I actually have more saved money than ever before. Eventually, I'll find something to spend it on, probably bills.
One thing I do appreciate is friendship. Memories will never distinguish, feelings will slowly subside, and the future will always be open to anything. You are my friend and I appreciate that because I've never had something like this. Thank you.
note: Suicide is for losers!