...continuation from joshgumbi's xanga site

Today, my tension has risen to its very high and climatic point. I exploded with rage and anger. My temper had never been released from its cage. My veins rushed with blood running reverse from the normal flow of motion. While on my feet, my inner redness rushed to my brain exploding with rage toward the victim. I wasn't sure what I was saying, although I knew my feelings were being free. I'm sorry. Anger must be patient and emotion should be wholesome.

On the upside, I attended P.A.S.A.'s Pilipino Graduation (Pil-Grad). I helped out with what needed to be done. I was asked to sing the Philippine National Anthem which I was unable to do. The event had started late this evening mainly because Marco, Sylvia, and I attempted to run an errand that took a bit longer than expected. The worker that tried to help us was clueless. He knew what he was doing, yet he was slow at it. Stupid-head.

Am I turning my back on my own background? No! Akbayan is my family forever. Yet, they still do not ask for any assistance from me, their alumni. Unless they ask other alumni. Speaking of alumni...

So, from time to time, Aivy explains the issues of certain alumni leaving me in shock. The criticism and "concerns" toward any filipino organization has been made to evolve and adapt with incoming leaders. As an alumni and former student of SJSU, I've always welcomed anyone that was interested in the Akbayan spirit. Akbayan has had its low and high points in the past. When I started this organization/club, Akbayan was succeeding and achieving greatness. We had connections that I hadn't discovered until later years. Although, things began to change when 1990's alumni decided to dropout of the whole Akbayan scene. It wasn't the fact that they gave up after the cancellation of our own PCN '99, but they saw that the new generation of Akbayan members were changing. During PCN '00 rehearsals, assistance was needed to teach dances to some of the rookies of Akbayan. The connection between the two was unpleasant. To this day, friends still recall those days as uncomfortable and irrational. (Yes Ted, I'm talking about you) Anyway, in short, some alumni can be exclusive. I feel I've become an outsider with my own organization. I wanted to watch both shows this past year, but work had taken that away from me. And if anyone knew me, I'm very dedicated toward my priorities and things to do. I also cannot believe I missed Akbayan's Pil-Grad due to commitment toward other situations. I apologize to those that had graduated. And also, Congratulations!!!

next entry topic: Chapter 12: The Finale - am I really done?

what's in my...
PS2 = NHL2004 (videogame) Southpark or Matrix Revolutions (dvd)
wallet = one dollar bills
pocket = keys (left pocket) cell phone (right pocket)
GameCube = Super Monkeyball (soon)
Ulo = Ulo (duh!)
arms = Babble & Nick (the bear Marie gave Aivy for her b-day)


note: "I used to know how to dress, until I got into college."