Lately, life is stagnant with no real room for improvement. Going to work during normal adult hours and days, trying to get through my daily workload worrying about being sent to a personal meeting with my employer. Will today be my last day? As long as I do what I've been doing, I should be fine. Really? Being part of the older generation where work is a crucial importance to one's present and future. My foundation is so unstable that moving forward is so blurry and faded from existence. Outside of my daily life cycle, a reality not my own is what I seek. Money is in and out of my pocket, but mostly out of my pocket. My work allows enough pay to deal with bills and eat. Is this what I've become? Jealousy occurs when friends take planned vacations, go out as much as they do, or spend money on a daily basis. On the other hand, maybe they do struggle with money from what I hear from some individuals, but isn't money made to be spent. And then the question comes up why I'm not going or why don't you hangout anymore. There are many reasons why:

1. Most of the places we go to hangout involves money.
2. Even when I don't need to spend money, my wallet opens because of some odd reason.
3. I'm cheap...no, I'm just safe with my money.
4. I'm out of town for work.
5. The things people do just aren't my fancy.
6. I don't get invited. This happens to a lot of people though.
7. Shrugs.

Maybe I want what other people have. I want... nevermind. This is pointless.