Emotional Setback

Yesterday was more of an emotional upset. With this late birthday bbq picnic thing turning sour, I'm left in confusion and frustration on if it should even happen. Sitting at a picnic table with enough food for maybe thirty, but only maybe less than 10 people go. With my supportive foundation falling through the cracks, maybe it is time to tap out and release myself from this year's birthday celebrations. How many types of birthdays could someone possibly have?

The Saturday before my birthday, my dad, Kristen, James, Grandma, and I decided to go eat lunch before my ice hockey game. Sushi Coast (click here for my review) was closed, so after a quick thought, we went to Chili's. No review for Chili's because, come on now, we've all been Chili's. If not, sorry Roger, you tiger now.

The Giants game versus the Diamondbacks was a great way to start off my birthday. Before the game, my mom, Ken, and I received our Barry Zito bobble heads and then made reservations for Acme Chophouse @ AT&T Park (click here for my review). Good timing because by the time we paid the check, we headed up to our seats (behind home plate) to watch the second half of the 1st inning. My birthday was starting great because the Giants won, 4-1.

Ok, within one weekend, two complimentary meals, a Giants game, and we won our ice hockey game, not to mention a few gifts that I will remain nameless. Damn, if you really want to know, ask.

I probably mentioned this but my birthday did not end with that weekend, it continued on the following Thursday and Friday. Quick overview: cake at work, Cleo's for dinner w/friends, ice cream cake at home, and Jersey Boys. Not really my idea to have a picnic, but it was a good idea to have. For all the thanks I put into my friendships, relationships, and familyships, I would offer the best return gift possible, FOOD. Is it still going to happen, probably. But, it isn't the same when all my special someone's are there. Like I said before, one picnic table, full of food, and that's about it. My invite went out to family and close friends. Do I deserve a huge crowd of guests, or do I deserve what I could get. I need to be more appreciative toward those that try to think twice about me. To conclude this, I guess I'll see you Saturday, 11-whenever. It's on!


note: Custard-filled Pudge Bucket!

Motivating force

Reading blogs, xangas, or even simple personal websites motivates me to write, to jot down ideas, to blog.

Changing topics by how I recently feel.

From a conversation with a friend earlier today:

joey: have you seen transformers

ted: yarra

joey: goodness

joey: am i the only one left

joey: i hate you

ted: dude

ted: grow up

joey: never

ted: thats for damn sure

I am speechless.

I am surrounded with emotional treasures that I cannot go without, but right now, I'm not sure what to think. I want to have a birthday bbq picnic, but I'm not sure if I really want it. I don't know what to do. What do I want? I want to lay down on the ground and have the ants drag me away into their ant hole to feast on me.

Shrugs


www.livemixshow.com =DJ Dose on Friday @ 12.

Nothing to grasp

Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You - Frankie Valli

...such a great song. The song came on and noticed we got closer. Maybe it was a coincidence, but it was romantic. It's true, my eyes always make my way towards your eyes, or any other part of your body. While you sleep, I wait in wonder when your eyes will open and see me there. Surprise, it's me watching, protecting you while you sleep. I am your shield, I am your armor, I am your air bag, I am yours. Don't you forget that.

Birthday plus 2

It is already Saturday. My birthday was two days ago and it still feels like it is still going on. Earlier today, I thought it was Sunday because I usually only clean on that day. Now, I'm sitting in front of my desktop writing to you Mr. Blogger. I look to my left and see my fan sitting on my window sill. The breeze outside is actually making the inner fan rotate. With the Giants game on my back, a Pepsi sitting on my computer desk, here we go.

Working on your birthday sucks. The projects were just there, but my mind was on the events later after work was over. A cake was offered at work, cookies and cream type cake, yummy. Surprises have always been on my mind. During birthday events, daily events, visitation events, any type of event where you could surprise someone is on my mind. That's the way I am. Random gifts out of nowhere are always fun to do. Gifts could include flowers, jewelry, etc. If someone gives you something where it is unexpected, no matter what it is, accept with much appreciation.

I had a donut last night. Chocolate custard-filled donut from Krispy Kreme...mmmmm.

My birthday dinner was held at Cleo's Steakhouse/Mr. Pizza Man. Full Meat Service. My guests were Cami, A-Jay, Christine Joy, Addie, and Alan. The service is good, the company was great. Gerstein, next time. We didn't get back until later that night, but we didn't finish the night with an ice cream cake that Cami got for me. Yay! Last time an ice cream cake sat in my presence was probably my 11th birthday. My birthdays get better and better each year I get older.

Last night, I received one of the coolest birthday gifts I could ever receive...Jersey Boys. I got the see the story of the Four Seasons. The show was amazing. We took BART from Daly City to Powell. We walked up to Curran Theatre and sat in our Balcony seats. The show was nearly perfect, probably because of the stupid teenage girl being inconsiderate and blocking the right side of the stage with her head. Oh well. I didn't let it bother me. What not? Well, I sit here in front of my computer and just type. I will be updating my previous blog entry/short story every now and then. I need to check up on my laundry too. Thank you all for your birthday greetings. Mucho appreciado.

note: Eating well!!! Very well.

28 Years Later.

The days were filled with heat, trackers wandering about salvaging food from the dead. Garbage is left from the early street wars. The time the war began was the end of existence, the beginning of human slavery. There was no hope left, no ideas of how to fight back. The shadows were no longer used to hide from the enemy. Groups are easier to find, so isolating your soul from the party could help toward breathing another day.

Even before the fear devoured the surface, smiles and children playing swarmed the solid grounds. No where could one find a speck of hatred in the flicker of one's eye sight. There was no reason to fear existence, which may possibly be the reason for the fall. All my thoughts are a blur. Being born into such a land takes the justice of any man into reason why do we continue to live if there is is no hope. Many clans have attempted to overtake the fear, but all have failed.

This land of magic has lost it's last hero. Ten years ago was the fight that would've ended the powerful struggle for solid ground. This brawl, this fight lasted many months. A young fighter, Jogum Bish, was no match for the fear. He believed nothing was able to stop the fear. His lost was forgotten. The fear fought and destroyed the human. Losing track of its destruction, it assumes death to the courageous fighter.

Now comes the time of recollection and obeying the voice of fear. The land is lost with famine and disease. Hunters, trackers, and beggars roamed the peace streets. As long as the fear was else where, they lived, but only to wait for death.


to be continued.


note: wrote check for Dose. I know he'll pay me back.
N094-4533-9263-2#1#-4 $240

mmmmm...Squisheeee

Time to make my way to Mountain View for my very first Squishee. Mmmm. Yay...D'oh.

I had the most bizarre dream this morning. I knew I was half asleep. The street cleaning truck woke me up this morning. Suddenly, I jumped into a dream sequence where I was dressing up into a tuxedo type attire. Family was there. Friends were all around. As time went by, my dream turned out to be my wedding day. It was strange because it appeared to run like a reality show because a camera was following me. My control was so strong that my wife-to-be was none other than my Favorite. She was beautiful in her wedding gown. Everything was so perfect, except me. My dream turned emotional when I found myself alone wondering what I'm doing. I guess it was just a sign of having 'cold feet'. Marriage is not an option that I've thought about. With my ability to stop my dream, I woke up before entering back into the church-like structure.

My clock radio had been going off for 2 minutes. I woke up wondering if I'll ever get married. Oh well. Someday.

It is Tuesday. 3 1/2 more days until Jersey Boys is in my grasp. Funny how Jersey Boys seems to be more important than my birthday, which is in 2 days. Well, I have work off tomorrow and today we are getting out of work at 12 noon. Most likely, I'll drive home, play Final Fantasy 12, fall asleep, wake up when Camillay arrives and make way to Mountain View. Did I mention that gas at my Arco is $3.07/gallon?

Food

Brb, I'm going to go eat lunch first. 127pm

I am back from lunch. 144pm I would've been back 5 minutes ago, but I needed to speak with someone in the office.

My old neighborhood in San Francisco involved a lot of business and transportation traffic. We once had a Cala Foods not more than 100 feet away from my house. That was torn down and replaced with condos and a little convenient store. There used to be a FotoMat drive-thru less than 70 feet away. Not it's even more condos. The comic book store where I purchased Spawn #1 through #20 had moved somewhere a bit farther than where we are now. It was small, so a bigger venue would have given it justice.

Scattered throughout a 10-block radius, grade school classmates are located amongst this perpendicular shaped neighborhood; some closer to the beach front than myself. By the way, I am 3-blocks from lower great highway. I've taken advantage of the beach and it's view so many times. I cannot live too far away from water. I would feel trapped, like Stitch, but he's surrounded by water. Noisy, wave-crashing water or calm, serene type water, they both work the same. Although, beach water could be very dangerous. Quiet waters could be scary too with Michael Myers lurking the underwater surface with his machete.

Bottomline, my old house is my place to escape reality. It's a place of growing, and also a place to relax and unwind. This past Saturday, I went home to go watch an SF Giants game. Lowry pitching with heart and his abilities, he takes another win at home. I grew up in San Francisco. I roamed the midnight streets of San Francisco in my high school days. But I always ended up safe at home. Nothing beats home. Nothing beats the happy memories. Nothing beats your childhood days.

I'm getting older everyday, but a whole new number on Thursday night, it'll be just another day. The age of age no longer counts for me. I am now in the age of career, love, and family.

note: it is not all wasted time.

Good luck!

On my way to the Giants game today, I realized that my Giants gear needed to expand. But for now, my head piece for the evening was an SF Giants 'rally' cap style hat. There were only a few people in the stands who had this hat. Either way, Lowry did great with 8 strikeouts and the win. Even though our seats were in 328, we sat behind the plate in 315 about row 7, seat 5. Awesome, a lot of sequences are happening with the numbers 7 and 5 or 75 or 7-5. With the arrival at my mom's house after the game, a package from DHL was slid underneath the gate. This parcel wasn't supposed to arrive for another week and a half. My birthday gift from my mom had arrived. A San Francisco Giants jersey with the number 75 and name JOEY stitched to the back, grey with orange and black lining. This is great. My sports attire is growing.

-San Jose Sharks replica AWAY jersey; #75 HIPOL
-San Francisco Giants replica GREY jersey; #75 JOEY
-San Francisco 49ers: none.
-Golden State Warriors: none.

Better yet, I was able to purchase my 2007 All-Star gear. Mostly all grey. I think my new favorite color is grey, but still orange...greange OR organey.






The hardest part about relationships is the struggle to trust. No matter how often you tell someone you love them, your thoughts are still only yours, leaving one with possible doubt. For 15 months, my involvement continues to grow. There's no room for predictability and assumption, only honesty. I have a sense of insecurity still, but the only thing I could do is keep my mind straight and believe that I am the only one for her, and keep believing that only she could keep my heart beating her name. I'm in love and no one could change that.


note: my birthday week has started well with a bit emotional and depression near the end of one night though.

T-minus 7 days

Another colony of ants trailed their way into my garbage. Awkwardly, the only trash in the waste basket is paper or tissue. Are they after my boogers? Is there an aroma inside the bad that senses their taste buds. So, I raided the whole basket, including my carpet. I might get rid of my carpet also, including the carpet in my living room. It's a nice touch, but it's falling apart. One idea I've been thinking about...

Moving closer to work. I've thought of Pleasanton, Livermore, Dublin, Castro Valley, Fremont, Milpitas. All good choices, not very cheap; or at least affordable. Plus, no one cares to live out there...BUT if someone does, let me know. jrhipol@gmail.joey

How's the new format, look of the blog. Not too revealing, but different. I'm into change every once in awhile. I can't get used to routine. It's boring. Here's a somewhat schedule of my next week.

Saturday, June 30 - Going to Giants game vs. the D-Backs.
Sunday, July 1 - Icemen vs Blade Runners 730pm. Center Ice.
Monday July 2 - Work
Tuesday July 3 - Work
Wednesday July 4 - Holiday, Dose's place for BBQ
Thursday July 5 - Work
Friday July 6 - Work and Four Seasons "Jersey Boys"
Saturday July 7 - Echoes of the Cordillera *tentative


I'm excited for you, but at the same time sad because I know you're leaving. I hope your parents let you go, you deserve. You are dedicated and you do so much. Maybe I'll go and play music for you. Highly unlikely. Who knows though. What are you doing now?


note: I'm eating my leftovers from Ongpin for lunch.

Birthday gift ideas...FREE

Come watch one or both.

Sun Jul 1 7:30 PM Logitech Center Senior DDD Icemen/Blade Runners Regular 10
Sun Jul 8 1:00 PM Logitech North Senior DDD Blades/Icemen Regular 11


After 7 games, I have 1 goal and 5 assists. I've gotten a point in 5 straight games. Ok thanks.

Copy & Paste

10 Compliments that WOW a man

Posted by David Zinczenko & Comments by ME

From an early age, men get hammered with the same message about how to treat women: More compliments, more listening, more romance. That's all well and good, as it should be. But sometimes, especially as relationships progress, men can also feel on the short-end of the fawning stick: Nearly 70 percent of men say they wish they received more regular compliments from their partner. I'm not suggesting that every guy has to be coddled and cuddled with verbal roses, but every once in a while, it's nice to throw one his way. While guys aren't particularly amped by compliments like "nice eyes" or "you're so beautiful," there are a few, simple things a woman can say to a man that really get him going. To wit:

"Your arms are definitely looking bigger."

Men can be just as paranoid about the way their bodies look as women can be. In fact, nearly 90 percent of men in a national Men, Love & Sex survey say there's at least one body part they'd like to change (42 percent saying they want a new gut). While men don't necessarily want women to lie if they're out of shape, it never hurts to notice he's looking good -- or at least trying to look better.

Comment: You admire my arms even though they are nothing but fat storage.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha."

Guys spend all of high school, the better part of the work day, and at least 12 times a day via e-mail trying to make people laugh. Because men value their sense of humor as one of their most important qualities, a hearty, genuine laugh is as flattering as it gets.

Comment: Need I say more. Although, you don't necessarily laugh at what I say or do, you laugh at what you're doing to me.

"Wow."

Doesn't matter whether it comes as he's getting undressed or after you've finished having sex, this short, sweet word (best done in a whisper) may just be the ultimate ego-stroke. A picture may say a thousand words, but this three-letter word sums up roughly 10,000 of them.

Comment: Stop looking at my butt. This goes out to everyone. Geez.

"You the man."

Guys hear this all the time. From other guys. They hear it at work, on the golf course, and when one dude from the group buys the beer. But if it comes from a woman -- no matter the context -- the message is that, hey, we're buddies, too. Which is actually pretty darn sexy.

Comment: Same as saying "What's up" when I call you. I already know I'm a man.

"The kids just adore you."

More than 50 percent of men say that their families -- more so than work and salary -- are what defines them most as men. So when a woman affirms that he's a familial hero, it's a compliment that stretches way beyond anything you could ever say about his haircut.

Comment: no comment.

"What do you think?"

We've all seen it a million times with long-married couples: They engage in cerebral power struggles, where neither can concede on anything -- whether it's the best way to move a piece of furniture or the fastest way to reach the interstate. I'm not saying that men should have the only say in decisions, but some guys do feel like they actually have very little.

Comment: Why do I always have to make the decisions? Just be patient and if you want me to decide, trust me. I know you're hungry, and I will continue to struggle to get you your rations. Yes, most of the time you're right, but sometimes positive motivation works better than negative.

"Cute feet."

Typically, it doesn't matter much to men if women like a part of their body that they don't control, like their eyes, jawline, or body hair. And typically, guys care for the word "cute" about as much as Paris cares for the penal system. One exception: The part of the body that is classified as being especially gross. Tell a guy he has good feet, and somehow he takes it as a double-bagger compliment -- that you not only like his genetics, but also that you appreciate he can keep himself better groomed than the rest of the gnarly-nailed heathens out there.

Comment: Let's stray away from what my butt looks like and concentrate on something else. Maybe something above my neck. Although we speak of my eyes, but only because they're hardly there. Aya.


"Meow."

The stats show that 61 percent of men think their partners aren't sexually adventurous enough. While a feline one-liner doesn't automatically qualify as adventurous, it does show a bit of inhibition, and the message is one he likes to hear: That perhaps he's brought a little bit of the animal out of you.

Comment: No comment. I haven't touched a female in 2 years. LOL.

"Impressive."

Guys love feats. They love accomplishments. They love being acknowledged for their strength, power, and, simply, their masculinity. So a well-timed observation like this one -- whether it comes after he carries a TV to the family room or figures out a way to fix the pipes without having to call the plumber -- feeds into his need to feel like the family protector.

Comments: That's why I enjoy those times when you watch my games, or fixing my stupid wood slats because I didn't completely finish building my bed. Did I mention that my bed was broken when I woke up this morning? So I switched to the other side. Aya.

"I want you."

Women don't need to go on about a guy's eyes or hair or clothes. What a guy really wants to hear is that he's the total package, and this acknowledgment of that -- whether it's referring to bedroom behavior or relationship stability -- is the ultimate compliment of them all.

Comments: I am JOEY BEAR!!!!!

Edible Fashion

Don't think for a second that wardrobe is the topic of this entry. I sign on to my blogger at least once a day, and majority of the time, I end up closing it before jotting down a few words or two. So here.

My birthday is coming up. My 28th year in the making of such a water sign. Let's reminisce about some accomplishments, failures, memories:

-May 2003: I graduated from San Jose State University with an Engineering degree. (accomplishment)
-May 2003 - July 2006: Unable to find a career in my field. Lack of experience. (lesson)
-July 1979: At 9:31pm, I was graced upon this Earth. What now?
-July 1989: Had my birthday at Malibu. Yay.
-July 1997: Had my birthday in the solitude of my new apartment in San Jose; Valley West Apartments.
-Nov 1985: Camillay was born. YAY!
-Jan 2000: I met Tediocarm Miranda; "When is the next acting practice?"
-Jan 2000-May 2000: President of Akbayan & P.C.N. 2000 Co-Coordinator
-Aug 2006: Found a career with PickPoint Corporation.
-March 2006: JB *unofficial

May 2008-2020: San Jose Sharks record longest winning streak for the Stanley Cup.
-July 2054: I die at 75. Pray for me.


2007-2008 San Francisco Giants vs. Oakland Atheletics: World Series. Giants in 7. MVP: Pedro Feliz


You can't help but hope for the things you want or possibly need. Until next time, stay fresh.

Summer Begins!

My confidence must override any barrier that stands in my way. Emotional content covers me everyday, but I must fight my way out of this netting. Self-esteem could possibly be a mental subconscious. Let's rebuild my soul and stray away from the birthday slump. The only time depression and vulnerability surrounds me is around my birthday. Why? The self-belief that aging is uncontrollable.

Speaking of aging, birthdays are coming up like technology in the Silicon Valley. It's also the first day of summer. Big woop! Usually this day is the longest day of the year. Who cares!? Work is my reality away from the real world. Remember that your job creates a world outside of reality. You are employed to act either close to how you are, act completely different from who you are, or be who you are...which probably sucks. ha! We do our jobs, projects, work...and we get paid for it. Others go out, swim, go to the beach...man I miss those days...and earn nothing but fun and relaxation. Sigh!

My dialogue (blogger is telling me this word is mis-spelled) with Alaska was interesting. Why are old friends growing up faster than me? Folks who range one to five years age difference develop the responsibility of marriage or parenthood sooner than me. Some by fault, some by choice, and then there's some who just don't know. My decision has been made, not by choice, but with respect. Time and future are and will always be there...assuming the world doesn't decay into segments of bacteria. My day to create a bond with one, or mold one into will be there...someday. No rush. My fate will lead me to either greater things or the shadow of the deepest pit. I am 27...soon to be 28. A rounded number, not as rounded sa 20 or 25, but it will be a year that something happens. I don't know...hindi ko alam.

Summer does not begin, it only starts to end.

Mind full of thoughts, stresses, and frustrations.

I am helpful, I am support. I am the reliable one, as long as you remind me. I am lost in my own reflections. My pains are lost in a sea of Daly City fog off Skyline between the Pacifica merge and John Daly Blvd. The speed soars through my veins, rushing adrenaline surging through my flowing pores. The reminder that the end is far, but starting such an obstacle seizes to begin. I leave it be. I leave it alone. My day will come when the horrors of...

Things have been weird lately.

I don't know what's wrong lately. I've been unsatisfied, emotional, and scared. I can't explain why I feel this way. I don't feel the motivational pull to link my life with work. I look forward to Friday's because I can relax my mind. I used to blame work, but that really wasn't the cause of my reducing self-esteem. My mind has lost control of everything. My mental state will not readjust and I find myself moody and snappy. What could I do? I just want to sleep and not wake up until it is all over.

Please, if you know how to handle my problem, email me.

Stagnant

I'm stuck with my feet bounded by unlocked chains. I can't move. I'm stuck. Let me reach out and see if anyone would grab my hand.

Email to someone

Encouragement could come from many places.


Thanks Mom. I need a hug right now. I've been frustrated and stressed about work because I need to improve my work behavior. This being communication, detail, and mostly being able to understand our product a lot better. Last week, I was complimented on my improvement from the previous week, but I'm still receiving useful feedback from all my coworkers. It's hard trying to do my job and suffering because my mind is just trying to get a valid license. I should be more relieved tomorrow because my ID should be coming in via Fedex. Vesper has been very cooperative with what I've needed. Thanks for the email. I had just fell asleep last night. But, I hardly remember the phone call. I owe you money.

I love you Mom.

I don't take advantage of the fact that she is and will always be in my life. Although I hardly tell her things, it still seems like she knows everything. I want to tell her. I want her to know what's up with my life. But, on the other hand, I'm holding back for the respect of another.

Tonight 216am. I broke down. An aim conversation with my best friends Reyna and Gina could really help, yet release some major frustrations in my current life. With Camillay in the Philippines, I have come to complete isolation from the one I'm used to receiving it from. Reference is the previous blog. Along with work, traveling, out of the ordinary events are tearing me apart. My strength is her. My strength is 100% attention. My friends are there for me. I'm just trying not to burden people with my problems, issues, craziness. That's why I decided to reply to my mom's email with the above. Why do I share such a personal part of my life with the whole world...because it helps me get through this tough time.

I need to study the training guidelines. Although I take pride in what I do, feedback is always welcome.

Pain & Happiness

It's been nearly 7 days since I've seen you with my own eyes. There's so much I fear when you're not around. I don't feel as complete as one should. Every thought involves something about you which makes my missing you even more hard to cope with. I look to you when I need strength, confidence, and to balance my thoughts. I'm on my trip to New Jersey and I feel alone. I know I've never missed someone so much because my heart feels like it squishes up. At this point on my trips, I'm either on the phone with her or at least chatting with her online.

I do take advantage of the time I have with her. I neglect the fact that she is there and I don't grasp the moment. Actually, when we're physically together, we act so much like two people who care for one another. Although, when we're apart, I don't appreciate the phone calls as much as I should. What do I miss? Here's a list:

- her voice (I saved her voice mails to hear her voice);
- her phone calls;
- her hugs;
- her touchy humor;
- her everything.

It does hurt. Everything I do reminds me of her. I was on my flight from Dallas to Philadelphia, and the in-flight movie was Bridge to Terabithia. It's such a sweet movie, but could take away everything that puts that smile, that reason to wake up in the morning, that feeling to keep going in your life. Also, it was her that told me that Leslie in the movie dies. But when I found out she died, my heart broke and I wanted to cry too. Whatever!? I have a heart. It wasn't the movie though, it was like she was no longer in my life. I didn't get a chance to tell her that I love her. I am seriously figuring out what love is. If this isn't, I have strong feelings that I can't part away from. I just wish she was here. I wish I could hear her voice. Anything!

After Thursday when I heard her voice last, she called Sunday for 2 minutes. I was relieved that she was ok. But, scared that she was going out to the other islands now.

This sucks. My heart is crushed.

Zzzz...Must Catch

She puts her hand across my back on to my shoulder. Signs of life raises and lowers amongst the blue blanket of warmth. My feelings of love have been reached again. Although, when time is spent, romance surrounds my life. Wonderful would describe how she entraps my huddled heart. Each day is embodied with your arms, your infatuation, and your companionship. You sleep. I enjoy watching over you, protecting you, relying in me to keep you safe. I long to perfect myself into your life. I heart you.

Is it the last chapter?

Dear Audience,

From day one of my treatment, I wasn't sure how my life would turn around. Everyone opens their eyes in the morning and looks at familiarity. Have you woken up and saw your life catching up to you? Your body could not move, you're in disarray of what's going on. Panic begins to flow through your blood and realizing that something phenomenal is happening, you begin to relax. This is the last days of my life.

My disease is something noticeable by the naked eye. I prayed and hoped that waking up without my burden would develop. Living for something is always a way to keep my mind off of it. Now, the sickness overpowers me and I must let it take me. I cannot control it any longer and the pain be cast away. I must enter a new book. I bid thee farewell. I am now...only a viewer of PCNs.

note: lol

Going Overboard

in·spi·ra·tion /ˌɪnspəˈreɪʃən/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[in-spuh-rey-shuhn] Pronunciation Key - noun
1. an inspiring or animating action or influence.
2. something inspired, as an idea.
3. a result of inspired activity.
4. a thing or person that inspires.

mo·ti·va·tion /ˌmoʊtəˈveɪʃən/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[moh-tuh-vey-shuhn] Pronunciation Key – noun
1. the act or an instance of motivating.
2. the state or condition of being motivated.
3. something that motivates; inducement; incentive.

These are two words discovered in the English language that could help us all understand what teamwork is based on. One person could demonstrate such admiration toward a goal that it pushes another to the brink of wanting, and even needing, such achievement. You just have to want it enough. In a previous entry, goals must be set. The hardest step is maintaining that interest. Some people can't help lose attention to one thing. At this point, inspiration is needed. When was the last time you inspired someone to shoot for their goal? A goal could be small, big, or even nothing to one person, but something huge to another. My motivation reaches lengths that will help someone concentrate on homework, reduce frustration, or even lend a shoulder to cry on.

Lack of motivation leads to frustration and discredit. What if someone doesn't deserve such credit? As a person of good moral, I could lend a hand, but on the contrary, laugh at the face of pure meanness. I am human still.

Why do I attempt to motivate or inspire those who don't deserve such strong words... because I was once there. Frustration could lead to meanness and meanness to failure. Everyone fights to stay away from failure. If you look at the darker picture, frustration could, with a little help, be looked at as motivation. A leader develops stress because things are not going as planned. When a goal is properly planned and organized, there is still room for frustration and stress. Stop, breathe, and tell yourself that verbal abuse is not the path. With just a few more seconds, let someone know, politely, that respect is requested. Most likely, this person(s) will understand. Blurbing out without thinking could lead to something that could've been avoided.
Don't give up! Failure is solely up to you. There's more than one way to succeed.

On a side note, I decided to compose a poem to my bear-y favorite.

Favorite Journeys - by JoshGumbi + April 10th, 2007

Every day and night starts the same
With a whisper catching a glimpse in time
Each step guiding a future learned to tame
Grasping what pure reasons to combine.

Remembering the images that drown and fade
Keeping what my heart and harmony fulfills
The fate of our hands become delayed
Finding a memory of happiness until.

(to be continued...)

After College

You ask yourself what do you left to do right before you finish what seems like a lifetime of education and schooling. The common path is to find that career or job. Would you say it easier said than done, definitely? Unless you take the proper steps to preparing for the rest of your life. Some may be so entertained during college that post-college could take them to a sudden downfall. The thought of an internship is the excuse why they hadn't secured a decent career. On the other hand, laziness surpasses all types of excuses from what I've seen. College prepares students for the preferred field they plan on embarking. Suddenly, the freshmen year is over and their high school grade point average turned into nothing. Why? Socializing, parties, skipping class.

We all, at least 95%, find ourselves in desperate situations where we discover low marks could lead to working at McDonald's for the rest of our life. Luckily for me, McD's never hired me. A lot of places rejected my applications because I was over-qualified. Unfortunately, when it came to finding a career in the field I graduated in, I was under-qualified; that's what I believed.

Employment isn't about what you know or who you know, it's about knowing you could do a job you have little or sometimes no experience in. Don't kill yourself trying to find a software programming job when you've never touched a computer. Think obvious, not oblivious. Never give up and don't let your rejections get the best of you. Employers can't take chances in what they don't know. You put yourself on the market (sending out your resume), you sell your knowledge (interview process), and you make sure you could back up everything you tell them. With enough rejections, you'll discover more knowledge with what other employers are looking for. And when you know this, you grab hold of that and make it your own.

Don't stop learning. Take advantage of life experiences because they will always benefit what is out there. Network your skills to different locations.

Ok, you found yourself with a high paying career that you've finally got settled into. But...you find yourself pressured and uncomfortable with the work environment. Don't put up with it, but also don't let out your aggressions. Take action with your life and fight for your happiness.

Quick brief: Joey graduates May 2003. By August 2003, he moves back to San Francisco and finds a 30k JOB with benefits with Safeway.com. Job involves delivering groceries to customers to the North-Eastern residents of San Francisco. Hard job, but first job out of college. By October 2004, Joey gets terminated for failing to abide by employment policies (I accepted tips that totaled up to $7,000). By late-November 2005, Joey is desperately hired at Office Depot, fulltime furniture representative (Never sold a piece of furniture in my life). Within a month, Joey is qualified for management position but declines. Reason for decline stands at career availability. I didn't want to get involved too much in something I knew I wouldn't stay at. By January 2006 (14 months later), Joey moves back to San Jose as the full-time Tech Lead at the new Office Depot. After a couple months, Joey is once again offered with management position...declines. I'm not going to settle for a retail job. In mid-July 2006, Joey applies for PickPoint Corporation as a field technician and qa/qc tester. Joey's first day at PickPoint begins his life as a career-made Engineer.

Don't let anyone tell you to settle for something. Make yourself available. Sell and make sure you're bought. You're not a hooker, but you could think like one.

Inspiration, motivation, and determination.

Weekends

This past weekend was filled with a joy, laughter, fun, child-like, and understanding. What I could say is that life is a great feeling and cherish what you have of it. My God-sister presented us with the gift of life this past weekend. I'm unsure how to spell the name, but it is Skyler. Ten years before that, my younger brother, James, was born. Who would of thunk it.

We celebrated my brother's birthday at Circuits of Alameda where kids and probably teenagers can go to workout while doing what we do best nowadays, play video games. At first, my brothers and I were a little hesitant to play the games, but after eating cake, we were ready to jump into it. San Jose should have one of these. We shall see.

No dance practice this past Sunday. This is how it'll be after pcn '07 is over. It's a relaxing feeling. Please say this is your last one. No more teaching. No more. I can't do it. *faint

The look on your face when...

So, the other day I was browsing the Internet and was directed to a link that I thought I'd never go to. On the down side, there's a lot of websites you won't find me at. I can't bare to find myself on an online store that didn't involve technology, computers and so forth.

This day, I came into the dreaded online jewelry site for a certain person that I will remain nameless. Although this store is in downtown San Francisco, I decided to think not once, twice, or a couple few times, a date was coming up that really doesn't make a difference, but I wanted to make it special. I got a gift that I thought you'd enjoy. It's not much, it costs little less than a couple dollars, but the meaning behind is that it's from me.

So, come 27th, we shall meet each other at the crossroads and define the rest of ours as individuals. Kthxbye. ^_^

Scared & Waiting

From the moment my four wheeled machinery left, the rain had started to get teary-eyed. My emotions started to tighten. My body was uncertain with doubt and scared wonder. I wanted to believe everything would be normal. But, time kept ticking and little by little, the freeway was under me passing one accident after another. Looking ahead I saw one flare turn to almost thirty. My breathing got deeper, my eyes itchy, and the interval between calls reduced. I was scared. I don't usually jump into my car and go off looking for someone or something. As lazy as I am, I care. Do I care too much? I hope I do because that's how I am. Sigh.

I was most relieved when I got a call.

Lenten season

As much as I am non-practicing Catholic, I do obey the 'laws' of the Lord. Not necessarily laws, but obligations to better yourself as a person under God's kingdom. Is there such thing as religion that it scatters out to different beliefs now? There's more religions than people now, so to speak. Anyway, I've decided to take on the faith of believing that we're to sacrifice what we see as beneficial to expand our further extents. So, my list goes:

-acting gay.
-making fun of Alexis.
-cook more.
-eat out only once or less a week.
-jog/walk every other day and on weekends. (so, Sun/Tues/Thurs/Sat)
-clean room and keep clean.

I shall try and I shall succeed. No meats Friday. Chicken isn't meat! If it is warm-blooded, it is meat. Leaving me with cold-blooded food.

Rondalla practice

Imagine being in the first row of a concert and experiencing every aspect of being in that section. This is what it's like to be playing with an organized, stringed rondalla. Last Friday evening was the experience I had waited for almost a decade. With my pick in one hand and bandurria in the other, it was another stepping stone into learning and educating myself with one of Filipinos greatest identities, musicianship. Although I made no big difference that evening, my goal had jumped into my lap ready to be built. I listened, watched, and endured the sounds of the Likha rondalla. With enough practice, my hands will be able to play like that. My learning curve is linear, but will soon enough be exponential. It is worth going to these practices because practicing alone is a big bore. Hearing all the parts is what helps you get better. No baby steps here. Just play and I'll catch on.

Thank you for 'holding my hand' this one time.

Drama...already?

Teaching and learning, learning and teaching. The worst part is when someone teaches something they were taught by someone else and completely destroys it. Most of the time, it's the basic move that is taught throughout generations. If someone enjoys teaching, they'll always remember grace, posture, flow, and character. For any dance, culture, and/or style, it's the presentation that matters most. For example, we have a couple doing a ballroom dance, say...tango. They're doing steps, which is the easy part, but what about how they're portraying such a dance to an audience. Everyone knows that learning a dance means performing it somewhere. Crowds seem to become bored with routine or, as I would call it, blahism.

My point is directed to teachers, choreographers, artists who want their particular story to be told. Like plagiarism, movements are recycled everyday by enthusiastic eyes. One grasps a movement, uses it, tweaks it as their own. Is this appropriate? Would one dance instructor call it stealing? Maybe. But I see it as, use what I've taught/performed, just don't disgrace the move(s).

I've taught, been taught, and mostly like will be teaching in my later years. I enjoy the Pilipino artistic dance genre. All I ask is to learn it to the extent of what's taught, then if finding your own style of teaching is your cup of tea, then do so. Just don't screw it up.

Why is it hard to teach college students? Lol.

Appreciation

Latest Updates from teddylicious

Shout out my homie JHips aka *******'s Savior aka King of ******* aka P4lxewo aka Josh Gumbi aka Soooooooper Joey aka Green Towel aka Orange Kart at **** driver. He's permanent at P***P**** as of today. Congratulations Big Homey. Posted 2/9/2007 at 1:24 PM - add eprops - add comments


Sorry for all the *'s. This is Web2.0. Privacy must be met.

V-Week Starts

V-2007: Flowers, chocolate, and a commercialized Hallmark card...for now. Or maybe it is something completely different. Ok, we all know what to get the females for Valentine's Day, but what are guys default gift? Oh wait, guys aren't supposed to get anything. Isn't that sexist. Why celebrate February 14th then? Because it gives couples a chance to rekindle, start, finish any type of relationship that exists.

Everyday, I extend my arms to hug the way I would hug on V-Day. I treat dinner the way I would. Phone calls continue to be answered. Massages feel the same way. Nothing barely changes. The only thing that changes is...wait there is nothing. The question pops up time and time again, "Why are you so nice to me?" Because I enjoy "smothering" you with as many joys I can offer, plus...you accept the attention.

Sometimes people fit like bread and butter, but most of the time, chemical reactions formulate either erupting or fizz away to continue on to live another day. I hope to be the butter on your bread. lol.

note: my tummy hurts.

Topics topics topics

Safe driving: Now that I've become more aware of my car's capacities, I've learned to maximize the use of the hybrid technology. When driving to work, I find my average speed at 65 to 70mph. I've never noticed how many cars pass me up. Oh well, let them use up their gas. Fortunately, on my way home on Friday, the trip was 33 miles (according to the speedometer), but only used 17 miles from the tank. Yay! That is all.

But not yet.

Driving slow helps me determine the types of dangers drivers put on other drivers. As a hopeful promise, I want other driver's to know I'll stay between the 65 to 75mph mark. Many aggressive driver's care nothing but for themselves. Remember, when you decide to cut someone off, look back into your life and see who is involved. Brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, friends, loved ones. If you hurt one, you hurt many. Sometimes, there's whole families in those cars, there are groups of friends in those cars, there's life. So, before you decide to get behind the wheel, realize your entering into a battle.

Does this entry make sense?

note: Be careful out there.

Love

Is it love when the person you're in love with, or the person you love; either way you see it, could change your personal lifestyle? When you care not for what you did before or how you lived, but in order to share what they long for is what you want for yourself. On the other hand, could love be so simple as to fall foolishly into it. Love could be random, and it could lead to greater or less love. Ask yourself, is it love that drives us to do what we must. Is love the source of our inspiration. I love the things that I do(ie. ice hockey). I also love the people in my life. I imagine myself in a life that will somewhat sacrifice the well-doings of my natural existence, but on the same path that I will benefit a much needed sacrifice to gain precedence on my own life. Everything is on an equilibrium. People, life, work, relationship, and friendship all go by the same guidelines. If we do not follow this, balance doesn't exist, leaving disarray and uncertainty. Thank you for reading. Listen and find your next level.

Runny Nose

My nose is running weird again. A couple weeks ago I took a flu shot in accordance with work requirements. But, I'm noticing that I get sick more often now...more than USUAL.

What's wrong with the world today? Where do I begin. As this is a topic that is not easy to dive into, there's nothing I can really say. The basic way to develop a reasoning behind it all is that the world has rotated off its access.

Where am I in all this chaos? Will chaos overwhelm those around me? Will this stage in life be a day to day thing. I don't know.

2007 is a month nearly down. Work somewhat told me that I'm approved. But not just yet, but most likely. "Night at the Museum" was an excellent movie.

I wish I could write a song to you

...sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. Some wish to look one way for their goals when they should be looking in a different direction. Either way, it all works out in the end, eventually. I went off course on what I really wanted to write about. But that's ok, I can change the topic now.

Writing about it makes me want to tell the whole world. The Internet is the whole world, just depends on who receives the information. You receive my information of 1's and 0's. You also receive my binary code. Everyone is going to receive, so here it is. I love it so much. I pray for it, I do favors for it. There so much I'd do, I just want it to realize what I do. And guess what, it does realize, and appreciate my moves. I hope everyone will find their it.

To find it, go to it.com on the server 129d3kd.

note: Yar.

Really Confused?

I've been put down. Usually, I would brush it off, but this time I can't. Maybe it is true what was told. What can I do? I live my life, I think about the things, the people, the treasures that are bestowed upon me. It is my fault for my actions. I can't change the past, but I can learn from it. I'm bothered and hurt with what I heard. I deserve the truth, and the truth hurts. You read my like a transparent book.

It's easy for people to cheer me up. It doesn't take much. But, on my behalf, why does it take every ounce of strength to do that in return. Maybe suppressing my emotions again is the answer. I need that sense of explosive emotional reaction. If I get mad, I should get mad. How do I know if someone truly wants me if they don't know how to overcome my anger. All I know, tonight, I am weak. Weak-minded. Emotionally weak. Physically weak. My list of issues is growing.

Right now, what was told to me not more than fifteen minutes ago has been forgotten. I've brushed it off. Like I said, you simply call back and tell me something sweet, and I'm back to normal. Like a flash, my emotions have been restored. Why am I like this? I'm either extremely happy or extremely sad. And when you don't see me, I'm in the middle. Yay!

note: 2007 is going to be...good.



ps. I hate holiday texts, unless you're in my network. Just frickin' CALL ME.

Flashback

12/21 - Sharks game with the Ulo, shutout by the Stars.
12/22 - work (Dipping Contest); 1st Baliktad Christmas!!!!
12/23 - stayed in.
12/24&25 - Christmas w/ Family
12/26 - Bear-Y Favorite Christmas exchange. & Super Bad Day.
12/27to30 - Sick.

The past few days of been really up and down. At this time, I just wanted to make sure what I did during this week off of work. As you can see, I really didn't get a chance to do a lot of stuff. Yes, it does suck, mainly because I was sick, but it does happen. I've been thinking about someone lately because I was afraid I would lose the importance of that ongoing adventure.

Sometimes one can forget that just because you hang out with someone a lot, doesn't necessarily mean you're with that person. I want to be with you, I tell you everyday. But, I want happiness to surround you. Maybe, just because I know I'm single, means it's easier to let go of me. Maybe I'm just being super foolish. I can't be spoiled this time. I can only be patient. Patient for you.

Before the days speak out 2007, I'm bound to have a clean room.

Motto from jG

Your happiness comes before mine. If I dare live my life this way, so be it. That's how it was, is and will be.

7 more days

I came into work to see this website come up first (from Aim.com):

Horoscope-Cancer
You may feel uncomfortable with all the attention these days, for you don't necessarily seek the spotlight. You might as well accept the fact that you are quite effective now and everyone will notice. If your intuition is telling you that something isn't right, remember to trust your inner voice. Intense emotions are currently motivating you and others now, and it may feel overwhelming as you try to discern what's most important. You are drawing in a wide spectrum of feelings. If you are afraid of being inundated, have faith in the process of transformation instead of withdrawing into denial.

meaning: My status as follower has diminished into a more positive role, dare I choose to accept it. Words and actions could be said, but will they matter, and will the affects induce my emotions. What's to come from the jG in 2007? You'll see.

This weekend was meant to stay home and bum it for 48 straight hours. The weekend turned into a parking bonanza at both Great Mall and Valley Fair. Oh! People who stop in the middle of a directional path (at the mall) are now on my pet peeve list. When I stop, I look around, and move if someone's moving my way.

Shopping isn't my favorite thing to do in the world, especially during Christmas season. But you got to do it. Sometimes you have to do it with someone special where any emotions can be risen. It happens. So, I say, buy online, it's easier. Girl shopping sucks!

Have you ever wanted or craved a certain food so bad, but found out you could not grasp? I did. This weekend. Argh!

Trying To Forget

It's hard to convert someone back into a friend when you cared about her so much...at one point. I feel the need to defend myself when someone attacks me with what happened in my past. I admit, I hate being doubted or proven wrong. I have pride in my beliefs. Can't I live without someone bringing up my past. I'm going to just stop and not say anything in that direction. From this point, it's only what I care for now, it's only who I love now. And since I'm not afraid to admit, my heart goes out to one person, and yes, her name is Favorite (wink!). Being asked to change my thoughts a few times, my words will only allow me to keep what's hidden longer than thought of. I care for the well-being of my friendships and relationships. My past is only a memory, a photograph made simple in my mind. Saying before thinking has always been a flaw, but it's a lot better than it was before. Thinking what you want to say can be interpreted many ways. If you need me to reiterate, just ask. I'm not complicated, and I don't expect complications in my life. I want/need only a few things, and one main priority is love. I'm in love with you Leclami. No one else.

note: Trusting me is easier than you think.

Being Away

It makes me want you more. It makes home look so far away. There are things I'd rather do than sit in a room. In the arms of one who is miles and miles away sucks. Away from my family, away from a comfort level where appreciation comes from the heart.

Although being on the road has it's perks, I can do without sometimes. It would be nice if someone came with me, but that just doesn't look like it'll happen; at least, not anytime soon.

As I sit in my room, I wonder what I would be doing if I was home. Home in my apartment. Actually, I'll most likely be packing up my stuff at work getting ready to leave.

Taco Hell

According to my feedback, no one cares about what isn't close to them. For instance, the e.coli news on the east coast. My friends care nothing of the sort. But wait, I'm on the east coast. I don't usually eat fast food on the road though, unless it's the ONLY food there is, and sometimes that's the ONLY food there is. But, not this time.

So, is Taco Bell at fault for the food they serve? Sometimes it is, but I don't know what to think. Sometimes outbreaks just aren't found. Just know that the victims don't deserve this. Let's hope they make it through the hard times.

The news is my interest. Not world news, but local news and some nationwide. My health is a big part of my interest group, where I find myself looking at nutrition facts. BUT...I don't eat healthier, I just eat less and go for walks/jogs. Other than that, the world still revolves around me. teehehe.

I'm in New Jersey, sitting at my hotel room desk, watching the Simpson's on the television next to me. This past weekend was fun. I went to my first San Jose State football game. Maybe it's the motivation of a winning/bowl season. Or, maybe because someone asked me to go with them. It was super uber fun. Can't ask for anything more...right now. ha! The Sharks won a hard-fought game against the Redwings. -sigh- I enjoy spending time with the people I love. You guys are the best!!!

------------------------------------------------
Now a woman who'll kiss on a very 1st date,
Is usually a hussy,
And a woman who'll kiss on the second time out,
Is anything but fussy,
But a woman who'll wait 'till the 3rd time around,
Head in the clouds, feet on the ground,
She's the girl he's glad he's found,
She's his Shipoopi.

Shipoopi, Shipoopi, Shipoopi,
The girl is hard to get.
Shipoopi, Shipoopi, Shipoopi,
But you can win her yet.

Walk her once just to raise the curtain,
Then you walk around twice and you make for certain.
Once more in the flower garden,
She will never get sore if you beg her pardon.

Do, re, mi, fa, sol, la, si, do,
Si, la, sol, fa, mi, re, do.

Squeeze her once when she isn't lookin'.
If you get a squeeze back that's fancy cookin'.
Once more for a pepper-upper,
She will never get sore on her way to supper,

Do, re, mi, fa, sol, la, si, do, si, do,

Now little ol' sal was a No-gal,
As anyone could see,
Look at her now, She's a Go-Gal,
Who only goes for me,

Squeeze her once when she isn't lookin'.
If you get a squeeze back that's fancy cookin'.
Once more for a pepper-upper,
She will never get sore on her way to supper,

Do, re, mi, fa, sol, la, si, do, si, do,

Shipoopi, shipoopi, shipoopi,
The girl is hard to get,
Shipoopi, shipoopi, shipoopi,
But you can win her yet.

(Musical/Dance Break)

Shipoopi, Shipoopi, Shipoopi,
The girl is hard to get.
Shipoopi, shipoopi, shipoopi,
But you can win her yet.

You Can Win Her Yet!


Shipoopi

----------------------------------



Dear You-Bear,

Although I'm thousands of miles away, I'm still constantly thinking of how good it would feel to be there, holding you, laughing with you, being made fun of by you, you are my "vacation". Remember that I will always be your pudgy honey bear. Heart you from now 'til you no longer want it.

Love,

Me-Bear

Heroes

Great show, great drama, great super powers. So we know the origin of all the character powers, except for the roles they haven't showed yet. We know who this Sylar guy is and why he's so interested in getting brains. Wow. What a great series to watch. I'm impressed with this show.


I heart you for all the ways possible. For the fun times, mean times, serious times, silly times, and the times when there is no more time. The hugs are so meaningful. -sigh-

In Shame

You've made another mistake that risks the present and future happiness. I do stupid things. I admit that thinking before doing or saying is the general correct way of doing things. Do you like me less? The answer that haunts my loving ways is fading. I am inconsiderate. I'm sorry. Forgive me.

Console Transactions

Would you believe the prices of video game consoles nowadays? Well, according to the market price, we're all saving money because business like Nintendo and Sony make money by the bulk sale, giving reason to lowering their prices slightly. From a couple sources, the Playstation 3 is priced at $599 for the upgraded model, where the components for the actual device is pushed at nearly $800. (Disclaimer: just a rumor, but probably truth behind this.) At this rate, Sony will lose $200/ps3, unless their market sails soar above expected. And guess what, they're selling, but also holding back on a lot of markets. Why would they do such a thing? Well, this is the point of this entry. At work, I was browsing ebay and craigslist sites and realized that we all have unlicensed business proposals for addicting consumers.

Advertisement: Why stand in line at midnight when you could find the same exact product on ebay, FOR DOUBLE THE PRICE, even Triple.

So surreal that I would NEVER consider getting raped by this type of behavior. Is this the reason why Sony Gaming decided to hold back on their product? If I had the chance to buy a ps3 or Wii, I would keep it. But right now, I'm currently playing my ps2's Final Fantasy XII and soon to be Socom: Combined Assault. I look forward to Legend of Zelda's Twilight Princess, but let me finish these games.

Back to the topic, if consumers stuck to consumers and not cheating business partners, if you could call them that, true GAMERS would have their consoles. Ebay has been doing that with shoes and consoles for a while now. Anyway, here we go, with the world of tomorrow, making money to the suckers of yesterday.

This is to...

...Camille. Hi, that's it. lol...Don't call me Brown Stallion, Ted. These...are the thoughts...of my day. Yayyayayayayayya...kicking legs up and down. yayaya. lol. hockey hockey hooooockey. i'm going down to south park. howdy neighbor. i was thinking who my bestman would be at my wedding. i believe it'll probably be...i'm laughing at the Amp'd commercial where the father is teaching his son to ride a bike. little do we know is that he made a ramp for him...and fell off the side and feel on his head. haven't seen it? i did, and i laughed. Camille didn't though. This is the weirdest post ever...Delete it. No. Cookies are good. So, my car gets 38.2mpg. Kyle is trying to save his bike and gets hurt doing it. Ok. bye.

Car Name

I've been pondering what I'm going to name my car. Some of the names were Cookie, Elisha, Sheila, Josh, MyCar, Camiry and Qwerty. I yet to come up with a name for my "baby".

Since we're on the topic of names, I am the Brown Stallion a.k.a Snuggly Bear a.k.a _ _ _ _ _ Puppy. With these names listed, I need to come up with something better than...Sweetie. Sheesh.

Happy One Month Birthday to my car. Still in one piece...3 gas fills later...1701 miles. We shall see. Welp...yeah I said welp, nothing to update right now. Love you all.

Inevitable Happiness

Sometimes you can foresee how your life is going to turn out. Maybe not by the powers that be, but by the people that grab a hold of your life. Your friends, your family, your enemies; they all make what we develop what we call a personal lifestyle. The thoughts and outcomes that is unseen is part of the weird path we call life. I've gained more than I've lost, obviously. As my life ages, my losses tend to rise and gaining is more of a hassle than anything. Don't take it the wrong way, giving up is not an option, I just think struggle may have a time limit. From a few days to maybe years, I tend to just deal with what's in front of me.

For example, a job is somewhat easy to come by, assuming the correct credentials are at hand. A resume with all the right "juices and berries" is what gets you in the door, for maybe a mediocre job. Remember that word...Job. And then there's job applications for employment that a lot of us have done in the past. In my decade of job hunts, Gymboree, Safeway.com, and Office Depot brought in the income. Even when I was positioned with workstudy at my college institute, a job is what you have that brings in money for what you want/need now, not what you can save. You can't simply want a car and go out and buy it, that takes planning and research...unless you're wealthy, and we know a majority of this world is two cents short of that, and then some. Even worse, a home is needed in the future because independency is what we strive to be...away from the parent trap. Unless, of course, you're the parent looking at fatherhood or motherhood.

The tricky part of life is knowing the ins and outs behind a career-based title. You can join a retail job and hope for promotion and success, but that may take years. Why not put all focus on getting that education, getting that diploma or experience, and pushing forward to be at top potential. Oh wait! We're all lazy. I was lazy for 3 years. I just accepted the fate that a career wasn't part of my forte. Thing is, I didn't try hard enough. I was wrapped with a spoiled life where everything was set on my plate...not anymore. I can live my life independently, but income needs to come in sometime, and in huge quantities.

I'm happy. I have a income, a new car, a new home, and a woman I can hold with love and admiration. Am I still spoiled? A little, but I've earned what I have.

iWoot

First off...

Screw the Yankees, Dodgers, and Padres!!!
I guess...go A's. Bring some hope back to the Bay Area.

And for tomorrow, down with the Raiders. Go 49ers. Forever SF fan.

And for my co-favorite team in the World...Nabby was sooo ON. Sharks 2-0-0-0.
49ers are going to win the rest of their games this season.

So, today, we played in the Smash Softball tournament...in the "For fun" league, which had only two teams. Lost both games 15-2 and 12-4. The second game we were in the lead 4-3. Woohoo. And then the 5th and 6th innings came. ha! You see the score.

Fun day of Sports for me and the Blueballs.

iLeftMyAimOnAtWork

So, this is what I came into this morning:

AF (8:36:23 PM): penguins are oh so cool
AF (8:36:25 PM): like mr. joey
AF (8:36:58 PM): =]

CH (7:44:06 PM): you have enough players"?

AOL System Msg (10:08:06 PM): Your screen name (jrhipol) has signed in from another location. This screen name is currently signed in at 2 locations. To sign off the other location(s), reply to this message with the number 1. Click here for more information.

GP (8:21:24 PM): u guys move in yet?

Clutch (10:12:25 PM): yarrrrrrrrr boey
Clutch (10:24:26 PM): wat are u doing?

Ulo (5:51:34 PM): yo.

Yeah, fun stuff when you get into work.

iMelt

How you make my night so much brighter!

cas: it won't officially be my birthday til i spend it with you though
jrh: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...you make me melt

iCam

You ever have those weekends where you're not well-prepared on what's going to happen, but it does, you don't want it to end. I did. This past Saturday started off well and ended great. This day made me feel a little bit more older and responsible. A great feeling when you're at the car dealership ordering your new car. Like I said before, a little bit older and so forth because they didn't have my style and color. Here's a glimpse of the new 2007 Toyota Camry Hybrid.


Grey Metallic with Option #2 Package. Yummy.

Why this car? Because it's sleep and this new model looks classy...like the Lexus. Plus, I drive enough where I need milage. Just think, about a month ago I was shopping for a 2007 Scion tC, which costed half of what I'm getting now, but when the choices are made, you get what you've earned.

So, instead of waiting four to six months for the pre-order, I only have to wait two to three weeks. Lucky me, sometimes. I wanted to make more money before I start making payments. Anyway, that's life as a grown-up.

Later on, we planned to have our first pseudo-date at the place viewed below. I'm not going to say, but it's also not that hard to figure it out. It was incredibly windy, but she makes me happy, no matter what the weather.


There was a wedding in one of the huts there, but the guy there would bet $6,000 on football and no less. Ha! So hardcore. Sheesh. After that picture, we drove around and realized this place was dead and wouldn't be surprised if we saw zombies roaming the streets and buildings. Scary, so we left. Took us awhile to find Mitchell's Ice Cream from the opposite direction, but we eventually did...and parked in the 10 Minute Zone right in front. Awesome! Dark and chunky!!!

Dear Cam;
I've realized that there's no person other than yourself that I'd want to be closer to. With all the little trips we've taken in the past, the big one's just take my breath away when I'm with you. Until our next adventure, I heart you.

Love,
Joshgumbi

note: the Icemen won Saturday night to conclude such a wonderful day. See previous entry for more info.

iStats

Game 1: TIE 1-1; 0 Goals; 0 Assists; +1
Game 2: WIN 4-0; 1 G; 0 A; +2

Season (Winter 2006)

1-0-1; 1 G; 0 A; +3


Woot!

iWeep

Tonight, I found myself tearing up during an episode of Smallville. Not because it was the funeral scene of Jonathan Kent, but the thought of losing a parent. As an emotional person, it's strange how black my heart is sometimes. Even a good friend told me once that I'm heartless. Not that I want to be, it's just I find no feelings or emotions toward what was going on. Maybe it wasn't great enough where my heart would crush. I want to cry sometimes, but I've built an armor strong enough to withstand some of the worst things in life.

Love burns through this armor though. I love my family. But most of all, my parents and brothers. When watching Smallville, I thought about a parental death(knowing that thinking of it is bad luck, but it's reality) and I started tearing. I closed my eyes and whispered, "She isn't done being my mother." That did it. I cried. I needed it.

Besides family, there's one among few who I love that I've teared for. Love definitely burns through my armor because it hurts when the smallest things happen. But, love overpowers when happy occurrences come about. I love you, and never doubt that. I'm human after all.


Other than that, I've been to 7 airports; Norfolk(ORF), Houston(IAH), New York(JFK), Savannah(SAV), Atlanta(ATL), Oakland(OAK), and San Jose(SJC). FYI:Stay away from ATL. Can't find the terminals, they're too far. Traveling is fun. My favorite part is flying back home so I can see the one's I care and love.

Thank you for picking me up on Friday night. The first hug is always the best. From my heart to yours. Also, thanks for Making It Happen.




note: Can't sleep now.

iSweet

i'll be thinking about u all day
go impress who need to impress, then come back to me. KISSES
u can IMPRESS me anytime, but u do everyday.

Words from this morning from me to you.



Going to Fort Eustis, Virginia, next week. Anyone going to be there. Just kidding. Come visit me.

note: More later.

iSassy

I heard there was going to be a remake, and finally it's here. I mean, the korean original of My Sassy Girl was sweet, nice, adorable, cruel. But even better will be the sassy girl played by Elisha Cuthbert. I don't know. Is it possible? We shall see in 2007.

iCompatible

Masterful Scorpio should make a good mate for quiet spoken cancer. While jealousy may plague both from time to time, their great mutual ability to love deeply will usually limit periods of dissension. Scorpio is well equipped to cope with Cancerian moods. Excess energy which Scorpio emanates, will act as strong tonic for cancer's reticence. Scorpio and cancer could well prove the ideal marriage combination.

CaS is an amazing person. She explores the great parts of my life and indulges these experiences with her own. That's why every moment we develop is memorable. Do I have these feelings for you? Yes. Very much yes. Thank you. For putting up with my banter.

iAm

Who Wants To Be A Superhero? season finale. Interesting show because it involves superhero/moral values. I first thought the show was corny and silly, but after awhile, it just showed heart and determination. With a dash of laughs, I started to enjoy the amateurity of the show and the ability to improve their "powers".

No more Washington D.C. I am no longer afraid, although I'm still flying on the 11th. Instead, we'll be going to Virginia to Fort Eustis. As for my lifetime travels, I've been to, of course, California, Hawai'i, and Nevada. After the past three weeks, I've added three states to that listing: Georgia, South Carolina, and New Jersey. I'm currently in upstate New York near the Westpoint Military Academy. These weekly visits to the military bases have been some fun experiences. Other than that, I'll be bringing back souvenirs for those who've asked. While I've been here, Happy Birthday to Lil'Kathleen.

There have been many girls that tried to steal my heart. One actually attempted and succeeded, but the love just vanished. Eventually, I knew one day I would love again, and I truly believe it's happened. This love goes deeper than simple skin. When thinking of her, it makes my whole body just wither away waiting for something from her...even if it's just a simple phone call. I still cannot define love, but I know for sure this feeling is like it, could be it, and probably is it.

note: hiccups are sure fun. just as much as holding your hand while driving.

iScared

I'm flying to Washington D.C. on September 11th. Wouldn't you be scared too? Not necessarily because of all the precautionaries out there, I'll be completely fine. But yes, I'm still scared.

ps. I love you.

iCD

You say two little words probably in a playful way, which bothers me for an instance, but then gets bothersome when a negative emotion keeps flowing my way. I'm getting emotional and I shouldn't be. Your attitude devoids any type of sympathy. I'm constantly thinking of myself, and maybe that's my downfall. I can't escape this feeling. I want an explanation when there really isn't any. The caring seems to have stopped. Or have I just started to analyze the situation too much? Anxiety builds up increasing the blood pressure that I once never had.

I sit at my desk at work wondering if she cares when really she does care because she tells me everyday. But what if, throughout the day, the reducing gap turns and gets wider...and wider...and suddenly it turns into a VOID. A dark void of nothingness. Please, to you who matters most, don't let this happen. I care too much making the little things hurt. I can't control it.

note: no more Germany. I'm on probation still.

iSouthCarolina

So, after a day of traveling, two evenings of GREAT EATS, and a day of humid work, I'm finding my way through all my new work environment. As for the travel part, it helps not sleeping on the plane because when we got into the hotel, I fell asleep during the Giants game. Unfortunately, I woke up three or four times last night because I wasn't thinking straight. I just didn't want to be late when I met up with the team.

The first night, we ate at Dockside. Excellent seafood eatery. My choice of the night was the Dockside Dinner, which included; lobster tail, crab legs, scallops, etc, for a very good price. Yum. Plus, I ordered an extra She Soup.

Work is fun. I never thought I'd here so much gunfire in my life. We installed on the weapons area of the base first. Easiest according to what they say. We shall see. If you're a girl, you'd like all the mens in uniform. 'Til we meet again.

note: I didn't finish my bbq earlier.

iGOSH

I finally get a few minutes to write my thoughts.

Song: That Thing You Do - New Found Glory (Ska Covers)

Let's start off by saying... MY FIRST BUSINESS TRIP. Oh, let me go even deeper. I'm no longer at Office Depot. I'm no longer in retail. After all my complaints of wanting a career, not a job, my calling has finally come along. I started with this copmany on August 2nd, 2006. They are a pharmaceutical development start-up that I enjoy going to. I've come across a lot of the knowledge I learned from my education and personal experiences. I have no complaints. I can't complain about getting paid to travel. My first trip is to Beaufort, South Carolina. I'm actually supposed to be there right now, the installation got pushed. It'll happen. I don't think I would've been prepared for the trip. Now, after a full 5 days under my belt, the ropes are easily learned. Wish me luck.

My decision has faded away from the popular Scion tC to the 2007 Toyota Camry Hybrid. I've been seeing the new Camry just a few times lately. They are sleek, smooth, and my type of car. There's more horsepower, gps navigational system, yet double the Scion in price. Gotta think about this a little bit more.

Germany! Our company big trip. Two weeks in Germany. Sighs. I'll miss you.

Camille, Alexis, Paulo, and I saw Rent last Wednesday at the Golden Gate Theatre. The show was great. Mimi had the annoying nasal sounding singing voice. My favorite voice was still Gordon. Sorry Alexis for Mr. and Mrs. Bighead. At least you had your glasses this time. Paulo, you've seen more shows, but you seemed impressed with this show. Try a New York City showing. MUCHO BETTER. Camille, sweet Camille... enjoy this part of my life. My favorite person meet my favorite musical. Rating, Rent San Francisco was great, I rate them an 8 out of 10.

I heart my favorite. Don't forget that.

Note: The world turns in my direction.

iLATELY

My world has come across a few crossroads, yet they're worthy adversaries. I'll be back

"I Love Stealing Your Internet

Thank you, thank you for making my life so very easy. It was so nice of you to read all the user reviews you could find in order to make sure you were making a good decision. Then you walked the extra mile and read the Radio Shack circular, too. You are so good to me. I am glad that you decided to bring home that shiny new router, attach all the wires just right, and then click your way through the setup wizard at the speed of light. You make my life much more pleasant.

Now I can click my way merrily across the internet, doing as I please. I don’t even have to worry about the sites that I go to. If I want to look at nuclear bomb plans, so be it. If I want to join in a forum discussion on the proper way to engage in intercourse with a mule, it is my prerogative. I can even download all the movies and music that I want to, without any fear of repercussion. I somehow doubt that you have this level of internet invincibility, though, do you?

The price is not as bad as I expected. I am getting a lot out of my one time fee of thirty dollars. As it turns out, buying a wireless network card is much cheaper than even one month of cable internet. I was not really happy about paying sixty dollars a month for service, but that is a thing of the past now. I am glad that I took the time to do some comparison shopping between internet service providers. I found out that yours was the cheapest by far! Thank you for being my digital sugar-daddy.

It amazes me how generous you are! I know that you have looked at your router and seen that little glowing light that should not have been glowing. I am sure you went “Hmm, what the hell is this crap?” and went directly to your manual. I am sure you took the time out of your busy day to find out that I was accepting your kind offer of free internet service. You still let me have all the bandwidth that I can use, though. I would be indebted to you, if I had any clue as to your real identity. You are my anonymous benefactor, and I know you only as “default”.

It would have been easy for you to turn on your encryption, and lock me out in the cold wasteland of old technology. I would have been forced to spend my money on internet service, and not on the finer things in life that I would rather have. While I am eating my wonderful dry-aged steak this evening I promise that I will think of you and your kindness. I will softy shake my head and smile, and then I will laugh and laugh and laugh. I love stealing your internet, and I love you for letting me.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am so not a newbie. This is why we must set our routers with network keys. I do. Everyone in Barrelman P. does. Although, it does help when you're in the middle of nowhere and support is computer illiterate. Sucks to be them.

iCRY

She's been asking me for awhile if there's such a movie or show that makes me cry. Yes, there is. The song Roger sings to Mimi, Your Eyes, near the end of the Rent movie. Maybe it's any movie where the guy cries because the one he loves is in pain, hurt, dying, or past on. Sad isn't it, but that's where my heart melts.

note: My foot is 99% healthy. I hope.

Immobility

Dear Reader;

Since Sunday, I have been diagnosed with a minor injury. The technical names that were discovered were Foot Spur, Gout, Plantar Fasciitis, and "dude, you're faking it". First off, why would I ever fake an injury? I've never faked an injury. Let's go on. After much persuasion, She and I went to Kaiser Santa Theresa around the seven o'clock hour. Did I mention she was going to go home at seven. Luckily she was willing to be the bestfriend that she is and give me a lift to the hospital. We crutched into Urgent Care about 745pm and left around 10pm.

Some of the random incidents at the hospital:
1. Some guy was being a nuisance, so a mother of two called security.
2. She pushed and let go of my wheelchair toward a wall.
3. Got to the pharmacy late.
4. She drove.

*For now, later gators.
** For you, you support me in ways I never knew. Thanks.

Plantar Fasciitis

http://www.footsmart.com/HealthCondition.aspx?ailmentId=5
While numerous factors and conditions can lead to foot pain, the most common is heel pain. You may also hear doctors refer to heel pain as heel spur syndrome or plantar fasciitis; however, these conditions can be present with and without an actual bony spur.

However you refer to your heel pain, it is indeed a serious condition sufferers cannot afford to ignore. Just stepping down on the foot, especially first thing in the morning, can cause immediate shooting pain. And pressing harder on a sore heel, the way some do with a foot that’s fallen asleep, only worsens painful symptoms.

Causes:

Heel pain can flare up when the plantar fascia ligament that stretches from the heel to the ball of the foot – which also supports the arch – becomes inflamed. Calcium deposits may eventually form on the heel bone, resulting in mild to serious heel pain when applying pressure on the foot.

Heel spurs and heel pain typically occur in people with flat feet. As the arch starts to collapse, the band of ligament and the muscle in the bottom of the foot absorbs the impact of pressure from standing or walking. Eventually, it stretches beyond its limits, leading to possible muscle tears and bone spurs. To avoid heel pain, people with flat feet should make a special effort to wear support shoes with arch support.

Other causes of heel pain include:

* High arches that pull on the muscles.
* Tight calves muscles caused from poor or little stretching.
* Muscle tension that pulls away a piece of the bone.

Symptoms:

Your sore heel is the result of foot muscles tightening up overnight. The tightened muscles accentuate the pull on the heel bone spur and ligaments, or plantar fascia, making your first steps painful. You know you have heel pain if getting out of bed in the morning and stepping down makes you want to yell out. In fact, the medical term for heel pain, post-static dyskinesia, means "pain after rest."

You may also notice symptoms of heel pain when:

* Plunging into exercise without warming up first.
* Moving after any inactivity, such as sitting in a car or at a desk. The initial movement will result in sharp, shooting heel pain, giving you a sore or painful heel.

Relief and Prevention:

Taking the pressure off the foot goes a long way in helping improve a painful heel.

Other heel pain treatment/ plantar fasciitis treatment techniques include:

* Wearing proper footwear for both everyday and sporting activities.
* Using insoles that support the arch and reduce tension on the ligament.
* Making use of a heel pad, heel cushion or slight heel lift to relieve pressure and reduce inflammation of the plantar at its attachment to the heel bone.
* Correcting leg length discrepancy via an adjustable heel lift.
* Using a heel cup to add extra shock absorption to shoes, thus reducing pressure on heels.
* Giving the afflicted area an ice massage to reduce inflammation and relieve tension.
* Stretching calf muscle to reduce tightness.
* Maintaining length of the tight calf muscle with the use of a night splint.

In severe and chronic cases, heel spurs may require surgical correction. If heel pain is chronic and persists, see a podiatrist for specific heel pain treatment.


I SUFFER FROM FLAT FOOT SYNDROME. ARGH.

Please Don't

After a long vacation, I'm finally back in my mind. I didn't really go anywhere, except for a weekend in Las Vegas with the homies. Other than that, everything has been routine. I wake up, go to work, and then lay in my bed. May I add that routine is never a bad thing. Before I sleep, every night before I sleep, and right before I jump on the floor to work, I give you attention. How much longer can I do this? Someone with my soul, my heart, my lifestyle deserves someone greater than what I can give. A greater love that I can give so that I can try harder to give more than you give to me.

I mentioned that a vacation was in my recent past, and there had been. Every moment we talk, we see each other, it's a vacation because no matter how each one feels, life stands still. Unfortunately, when we part, hours have gone by that were unaccounted for. All that mattered was that you were here, I was there, and our hearts once again tried to become one.

It's my birthday in three hours. Sarcastically speaking, I'm excited. I'm getting older, and EVERYONE reminds me. It's starting to get irritating. Just because I feel more comfortable hanging out with younger friends I get ridiculed for it. Maybe finding a job, any job, far far away will help. But then I won't be near her.

You understand me. I've told you that before. From the beginning, you've treated me the way I wanted you to even before I got a chance to nag about it. That's why I tell you the things I do...under my breath. And I know you hear me. Anyway...

I WORK ON MY BIRTHDAY. Bleh.

Only one person, beside you, asked me what I had planned for my birthday...and I thank you. welp, time to jump back on Socom Online. Phones off. Need to be kept alone for now.

note: I was watching House and he was playing a PC version of Sudoku. This game is everywhere!!!