I sit in the dark with the light of my laptop shining brightly. I can't sleep. I don't know why. I was sleepy around ten, but now I lay restless. Nearly four hours later, with the television off, I find myself yawning, yet untired. So, with this time, I shall think of something interesting to write about.
hmmm? Here we go...
Writer's block. Dammit.
On sunny days, I enjoy getting to work and leaving work. From the balcony of the parking lot, there is a great view of Lower Pacific Heights and East San Francisco. I once left work and saw fireworks in the distance. I don't know the reason why they were going off, but that didn't matter. I had a good view, yet I didn't hear them going off. When I was kid, I always used to hide from fireworks. There was a time when my family and I went to the County Fair across the Golden Gate Bridge. I forgot the city it was in, but it was fun. San Rafael maybe?
As a kid, I was always afraid of fireworks. As an adult, what am I afraid of?
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I am afraid of wasted time. I believe the post-college years could have been much more beneficial. I've had jobs, but my laziness kept me from gathering something better.
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I am afraid of failure. Maybe I am giving my full potential, I'm not getting to where I should be, or am I.
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I am afraid of moving on. I can possibly endure the experiences that distance could shoot at me, but is that just my mind playing tricks on me.
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I am afraid of responsibility. I grew up thinking older than I was, but now I find myself trying to grasp the youth that I looked passed.
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I am afraid of losing my friends and family. I am molded into the shape I am because of them. Without them, I wouldn't be who I am today. Is that good or bad?
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I am afraid.