Traveling comes with excitement and disappointment. Not only on my position, but on the emotions of those who care. I'm currently at Virginia Beach. Let's begin with the weather. Last Sunday night, I marked the weather at 77 degrees on the weather website. At this point, I was in awesome-ville. In Atlanta, the weather clocked at 95 degrees, which would completely change when I get to Virginia. Could you believe that tropical weather is very unexpected. During the 3 of this 4 day trip, the weather is hitting near triple digits. Nearing the end of this 3rd day, why are there hurricane/storm warnings and people being asked to stay out of the outdoor AND indoor pool. Pretty crazy to experience a complete weather change. This is something we as Californians don't experience. Now, with my curtains open a bit, I see lightning, or as they call it, flash floods. Wow! About 10 ambulances and firetrucks to and from dinner. Geez! For the time being, it is a bit calm, but I'm leaving tomorrow, please let me head home.

It's been so many days since I saw my favorite. I miss her. I want to surround my arms around her and show her how much my heart adores her. Missing you makes me feel more compassion for you. But being away makes it hurt a little more. I can't wait to see you. I love you.

My trip ends tomorrow, only to look forward to another trip in the near future. Sigh, it's fun, but not that fun.

Less than 2 weeks 'til my 29th birthday. For those of you who don't know, I will be celebrating my 29th year in the bleachers of AT&T Park in San Francisco, California. The Giants will be facing their rival from California's southern area, the Dodgers. I think there are more people going this year compared to 2005's game. Some old faces, some new faces. Hopefully Fred Lewis plays because I know he could hit into the center bleachers.

Anyway, I'm sleepy at work. I wish I was home sleeping in my bed. More later, I'm going for a walk.

Yes, I believe I go crazy thinking about it every day/night. Slowly it creeps up and taps me on the shoulder, and suddenly my body freezes. My hands shake knowing that these outcomes will end up with nothing. I go blank and want to run away. The ankle brace that once was is now worn out and not needed, more so not noticed. Or could my ability to hold up my legs are no longer available? Heart tightens, the back of my eye sockets become drenched with fluid that seizes to push through. i don't know what to do anymore. And when I don't know what to do, I ask questions, stupid and random questions. I start to ramble on the same way I'm doing now. I have not written in a while, so I'm hoping no one reads this mess. I'm a mess. My ear hurts when it shouldn't.

Waiting and descending into nothing. Do what you must, and by the sides of your arms I will be, even if not the same way we hoped it would be. At my desk, my hands shake, I fight myself from releasing water into my eyes. My emotions are focused on one thing and I wish things were so much better. It's amazing what an email, what words could do to someone when I read over and over again. Do people really struggle to keep something going? How much must someone fight before they call it quits? Well, there have been many times when I'll be playing sports, school, and other means of pushing for something, but I've never quit. To keep the sanity of both minds, it's NOT becoming more and more of an option, unless the handle bars are worth the tightening. I've managed to keep myself happy for the most part, but really wish I could hand my happiness, strength, confidence, motivation to those who better deserve it.

Bottomline, after much thought, I am support, whenever it is needed.

As I type, I look down at the surface of my left hand and see writing that was put there by my special someone. It is the little things, as well as the big things, that keep my mind on the one I care about the most. She makes me worry when I know I shouldn't. She wrote on my hand yesterday and even though I've washed my hands and showered and what not, it is still there. It was one of those permanent pens which hurt a little when she was pushing the pen into my hand.

It is that feeling that tightens up inside and the only remedy is her. When I say I miss her, I do. When someone other than her asks about her, I think about her even more. Maybe that's why I'm so exhausted; I'm busy thinking of her. She's my squeezable teddy bear.

My body is tired, my mind is exhausted, and the feeling of coldness embodies my surroundings. Realizing what I did yesterday, I know why I am feeing this way. For the first part, my haircut with a #1 on the sides is the source of the cold feeling. And since my running shoes haven't gotten a real workout, running was my choice yesterday, as well as the minor softball practice we encountered. It felt good to go running/jogging/walking. Not good like I enjoy the pain good, but the fact that I haven't been on my feet because I've been exercising my mind with Call of Duty. Which leads to the fact that my mind just needs a break from video games. Hard to believe, but instead of just giving it up, I've taken on the role of parent and given myself a time limit.

Sunday thru Thursday
If I don't start playing by 10pm, no playing until the next evening.
If I start before 10pm, the game I'm on by 1130pm is my last.

Friday & Saturday
No starting limit, but must be off by 2am.

Reason for these restrictions is because I'm always tired at work, and this is after a week back from Japan. I thought it was the time getting used to...no, it was my late playing with the people. And it doesn't help that the new variety maps came out. I need to draw the line somewhere, it's the only way to progress and be productive at work. Anyway, Smash softball tournament is coming up. Is the team ready? Probably not, but let's have fun out there.

Am I meant to live a prolonged life where the natural life cycle is bound to happen later in my life. With the 30th anniversary of my being right around the corner, should I be aware that I'm not getting married and having kids like the rest of those of age are doing. Probably not. Once again, I look to where my siblings are with their life and they seem happy. Don't get me wrong, happiness is spread all over my life. With work experiences increasing, my health isn't par, but I'm still standing, and the fact that I have a very special and important person in my life, isn't that what matters really. Speaking rhetorical, I'm ready for what God obstacles my path. Also looking at the age of my dear father, he was but a year older than myself when he had his first child, and 20+ years later, he is fathering another son, who I cherish. My dad is my hero because he CAN do anything. He is what I want to be, but at the same time, better than to make him proud. Besides that, my life is wondering road that I think about everyday. Am I making the right decision? No one could answer their own questions when asked of this, and there are no wrong decisions, unless it's immoral. Push forward with your goals, thoughts, or boulders. Never give up...even if sacrificing the right things. Always think before pushing though. Joey? Stop talking to yourself...knucklehead.

Hello folks,

I recently went to Japan to do an installation at Misawa AB. The trip went as planned, with a few hiccups here and there, but it went smoothly. As for the sightseeings aspect, it was more than I had expected. From trying to read which subway to get on. Wait, back up. We had trouble trying to purchase the correct ticket. Me being out of America for the first time since my Mexico trip more than a decade ago, I was completely overwhelmed. As a domestic traveler of the US, this was just completely different. I'm used to reading location and subway maps with such ease, but I was baffled and I literally had a question mark over my head. It is a learning curve that was strictly straight for the whole duration of the trip. We didn't rent a car on this trip, which was lucky for us. The steering wheel was on the passenger side and the streets were opposite. So, I say lucky because I would've crashed into many cars. I sat in the "passenger" seat which made my perception of on-coming cars seem more closer than what they truly were. And grabbing the steering wheel wouldn't be a good idea. What else? The cars are squished. Not all the cars, but the cars, as well as the food, are smaller portions. With cars being narrow, the streets compensated for the smaller streets. No stop signs!!!! Well, the stop signs were all yield signs...I think.

I did get homesick and wanted to be home when I was first in Tokyo. As you get used to being a foreigner, you just need to ask around for someone who speaks even a bit of English. Even ordering food was difficult. So, to help, just point. Most likely, the server speaks English. There was an incident where we pointed at the picture and the server started speaking English...I'm a dumb foreigner. I was homesick because I missed Cami. I admit, she makes me stronger when it comes to strange and unusual things. Back to my trip, I swear, they show like game shows around the clock. We actually ran into an area of Akasaka where a game show was happening. All was cool. The trip had many experiences, which I hope I will be able to explain more in the second half.

As well as I'm here, I might as well update. First off, I'm here because I was trying to include my imeem playlist on my blog, but that was a quick and failed experiment. Reason is because it only plays 30 seconds, like it does if you're not an imeem user. I was introduced to imeem by Camille a couple of weeks back. Ever since then, I've managed to include 20 songs on my playlist. It's fun. I now have a place to store and listen music that I want to listen to. And it's easy.

So far, 2008 has brought a lot of emotion. Things that make you think about who you are, who I want to be, and who I want to give myself to. We've come this far, I'm not going to quit now. You are worth my time.

The San Jose Sharks are on a roll...an amazing roll of 10-0-0. Wootooo;laskj;ailjescisne;ilfn39rj[30q29j93920jfwla.

I went to Disneyland at the beginning of this month. Twas fun, wish CAStles was with me. ³halb.

I love her everything. And no one could take that away.

Massive brainfart, it's not even funny.

First, in light of the loving season, here is my response to my friend's away message which stated, "If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?" Here we go, I IM'd her:

love is blind because people don't see it as love anymore, they mistake it for lust. some couples will ridicule the "i love you" saying when they really should be saying "i lust you".

I'll accept any reactions to this response, just email me at joshgumbi@sbcglobal.net

Anyway, with that out of the way, I may continue with that after I release my opinions on Macitosh Vs. Windows.

Being bombarded with Macbooks where ever I go, you think I would jump on the wagon and get myself a nice, black-covered Macbook with all the trimmings of a great designer or producer...or whatever you could possibly put Windows to shame with. The great design, the flexible, the weight, and the fact that errors are a thing of the past seem to coat this technology with what computer user's want and need. OH HELL YES! But wait, I weep and find myself a certain so many dollars thinner because I spent money on what I didn't really need to get. If it isn't broken, don't fix it. Yes, believe that way, but...YES, there is a but...if you broke it, you shouldn't be using it.

Noticing from even my work environment, computer user's are very impatient, unless your Mr. Slowski from the Comcast commercial. I admit, I'm a bit impatient sometimes when I find myself waiting for a certain Windows box to close because it no longer wishes to do what I want it to. But in time, software will develop bugs that come from your constant clicking of keyboard keys or right-clicking the mouse button. All I say is..."GEEZ, relax." Everytime you see the (Not Responding) in the Title bar of your application, usually Firefox, it is just thinking still. If you don't want to wait, restart your computer. By the way, if you find yourself waiting for your Windows computer to stop thinking, YOU PUT TOO MUCH SOFTWARE or JUNK on it. In this world, there's unlimited hard drive space, TRUE, but damn, you have no idea what RAM is, so you neglect the fact that the RAM can't take all your impatience. Guess what, your PC is fighting with you because you've fed it so much, it wants to recycle all it's contents.

You're in luck, PCs and Macs have bestfriends. They're called EXTERNAL HDs. Use them and abuse them, they don't care. PC users, the solution to your computer woes is not spending so much money and buying a Mac. Unless you're using Windows PCs, such as Toshiba, Compaq, Gateway laptops, from my experience, these brands are worth crap in the long run. It's made so you need to buy a new laptop every couple of years. Macbooks, from what I see, damn, the battery is like non-existent. It's like the macbook is powered by the electrons in the air. My point is, the battery does not deteriorate. True with that fact, but what about the business laptops that go flying around the world. Probably hard to prove my point because no one I know uses a Macbook for business trips. Here's a chart:

	PC	Mac
School Art Engineering Business Computer Science Nursing	X X X X	X X X
Gaming	X
Email	X	X
SOHO(network)	X	X
Videography Music Producing		X X
Designing		X

So, as you could see, if you're more on the non-technical side of software, feel free to use a Mac. As for free-lance software developers, from reading other articles, Apple seizes the use of developing your own software applications. I could be completely wrong.

In conclusion, would I buy an Apple computer in the near future, I'm still on the No side. Why? Because it's not necessary. It's like me buying an Xbox 360. Was it necessary? Sort of. If I wanted to play Halo 3 at home or Call of Duty 4 at home, then yes, it's necessary. It's a great investment that I use daily. Would I use my Macbook daily, not likely because I'm satisfied with my HP 7250 desktop computer with Video Media technology.

To all my Apple user friends, Paulo, Gerstein, Donnell, Camille, Alexis, Alan, Chris...I have so many resources of using a Macbook, so why buy my own.

Sitting in my hotel room could really get me back into my blog. While watching Everybody Loves Raymond, the episode started with Raymond and Debra eating out for Valentine's Day. The only conversation they could think of is talking about the kids, about what's in front of them (or butter), or about another couple. Where am I going with this?

What happens when there's nothing else to talk about? Is the presence alone good enough? In the show, it came to the conclusion that the silent presence of someone special means comfort, security, and sheer love that makes what once was awkward silence...a connection of love. Now you ask, what is love? Don't ask, I cannot give you your definition of love. I have mine, you have your own. It is better to keep your own ideas and opinions on this subject. People will ridicule your thoughts about this subject. It's not worth the debate. Leave the "back and forth" to politics or subjects that are more concrete.

Next time you sit with your significant other, look into his or her eyes. Do you still get that feeling in your stomach that forces you to smile and brings your lips to kiss theirs. I do. But instead of a kiss, I get a finger attempted to go into my anus. No, I don't like that. Geez. But yes, eye contact still puts the smile on my face.

Hello 2008!

Ok, here goes...

What's the deal with respect? It seems over-exaggerated. People's pride increases when something they are familiar with or connected with involves them in like the 4th degree. Am I just being blunt and lost all feeling of what people care about? Probably. I am who I am. Humans do not gain respect by where they are from, but who they are. Sometimes, even the person they are really doesn't matter. Irritated is the perfect that explains how I feel right now. Caring about your culture is fine, but when you live your life by it, you got problems. Move forward. Culture is about remembering where you came from, not continuing to live by it. This is just my opinion, but representing where you're from is like cheering for a team...it only works when you're present and dies when it's not faced with diversion.

I really don't know where I'm going with this. The thought just entered my mind and I'm frustrated with the word respect. Everything should be based on humor. If you base your life on humor, you won't lose too much, you won't be so irritated, and anger will not be a necessity in your life. Get over it, move on, and keep smiling. Ahhhh, I still feel like my point isn't getting across. Hmmm...

Screw respect. It only turns into sadness and madness. I am a hypocrite. Just smile and make fun of life. That's what life had given me for 2007. Here's to you 2008...*throwing bricks through windows and popping all those Christmas lights I still see. By the way, Christmas just isn't the same when things keep changing. One year you needn't wish for a thing, and the next, you just wish, pray, hope things would just be the way they were before; well, except for Christmas 2 years ago.

That feeling of joy and happiness never came. Too much work. Too much pressure. I just want to lay down and die a little more each day.

The End. Good bye. No more posts from JoshGumbi. It's over.

Expired...EXPIRED!??!?!?! Noooooooo. Lol. Just kidding. I didn't realize my domain name had expired until 2 or 3 people told me. How have I been? Tired, sleepy, pudgy. The past few days, weeks have been blah blah blah. A few trips here and there. The weather has been extremely cold. My feet feel frozen. I've been trying to warm them up, but nothing is working. I should try walking, but it's cold outside. The Sharks game is on, so I'm happy for the time being. Warriors just lost, but blah on that. Go Go Google!

ps. Don't make them lose. lol

It's finally happened to me. By ways of passing up a truck on my way to work, another car decides to cut in front and do the same thing. I don't mind what just happened, ain't no thang. Although, it does bother me when we get so close to the the entrance to the freeway, that she decides to slow down, not allowing me to get in front of the truck. My opinion, I think she's being a careless driver and not paying attention to those around her. Imagine being on Berryessa heading east to enter 680 going north, in the left lane. You're ahead of a truck, but not enough to switch to the right lane because the car in front of the truck had slowed down almost getting rear ended by the truck. So, to avoid danger, I speed up next to the car, which at that moment , the truck switches lanes and gets behind me. I peek into the red slow car and notice that the person inside was looking at her driver's side mirror. She begins to speed up and I nearly clip her back left bumper, while avoiding a collision with the truck behind me. Wait! That's not the end.

The woman in the red car is on the loop and nearly runs off the road to the left then takes a sharp cut to her right and passes the white lines and goes partially in the dirt. By the way, I'm kind of laughing because this woman is being the most irresponsible driver and I hope she crashes, burns and hopefully gets her license taken from her. Ok, she's on strike 2 with me. Guess how she strikes out.

Not even on the freeway yet, her merging skills are awful. Usually when you merge, you try to stay on the right side and looking over your shoulder to see if you could get in the lane heading onto the freeway. This is what she does. She gets in the middle of the lanes and gets rear ended by the car trying to exit onto Berryessa. She loses control and goes up the under slope and into the dirt. I guess her hands weren't on the wheel. Luckily there was no one behind me, or else I would've been hit too.

I gave both parties my story and saying no one at fault. It happens, but the woman, I may add, had the ugliest makeup job done ever. lol. If you're going to drive, then drive. Don't eat or anything else. Stupid drivers and good drivers who get pushed down because of stupid drivers.

I need to keep myself from getting angry lately. My blood pressure just started to go down and I feel it fluctuating and stuff. My matters go overlooked. My mind hurts. My back hurts and I want to lay down. I want to sleep. I wish I didn't have work tomorrow, but it is something that I cannot help. Maybe we'll have a half day and everything will turn out fine. I get angry over the smallest things. Is it better this way? Better that I don't suppress my frustrations and annoyances, I guess. I could feel my heart pounding pretty aggressively against my chest. Just breathe in and out. Sometimes it hurts. I can hardly breathe normally, my hands cover my chest, and the dizziness comes back.

What do I do? I mean, I've managed to let things go when I'm not doing well in my Halo 3 time, but other things seem to clutter my mind with deep thought. Sometimes it's work, sometimes it's just the thought that my body is not acting the same way. Sometimes when I need a little tender loving care, it's not there. I don't mean to be a stubborn "baby" about it all, but that's what I need...even if that's not how we truly feel I should be treated. Bad heart, bad kidneys, high uric acid, sore muscles, feeling of influenza, headaches...I just want to quit. Game over. No need to deal with my life anymore. Over-dramatic, probably, but I don't care. Whatever, I have work tomorrow, I still feel slightly hot-headed right now. The world will live on and die out in a few years with all the horrors of mother nature going away. She doesn't want or like us anymore. Blah.

Deleted. A post that probably made my situation with someone on the sour side. With the exception of deleting a blog post, I, personally, over-stepped my boundaries and my own words. With my utter apologies, I bid farewell to this blog and I will see you guys on a new day. But, I was able to save some bits and pieces.

I'm sort of annoyed right now. What else could I write about? I'm going to publish this and start another.

People make mistakes that belongs to the forgive and forget category, and some end with a life enriching experience that teaches or burns a lesson in them forever. Or, the no remorse category where a person just doesn't care...I will never be like this. My heart is too big to not care about someone's feeling. And if I'm a hypocrite for saying so, comment or email me at joshgumbi@sbcglobal.net.

Not that anyone cares, but my time improved with the 3x3 Rubik's cube. I went from 4 minutes 3 seconds to 3 minutes 2 seconds

Not that anyone cares, but my time improved with the 3x3 Rubik's cube. I went from 4 minutes 3 seconds to 3 minutes 2 seconds.

Although this was posted so long ago, I improved my time to under 2 minutes. (08/19/08)

I never got back to you on my last entry. Oh well, it happens. November looks like an upbeat month, with Thanksgiving about to roll around the corner. The best part of this month is the three, yet three, paychecks. I'm going to attempt to save my whole second paycheck...yum. The perks of being salary isn't as great as hourly, yet my job doesn't really do the overtime thing. Plus, the on-call phone has included pay with it which means more money. Woohoo! This month is filled with Scorpio's who endure birthdays with happiness, excitement, and the spirit of good tidings. Thanksgiving will pass us like the turkey wings that I enjoy eating, BLACK FRIDAY will go quickly once again and me not needing to make my way to these crazy stores. Maybe I'll try this year. Might as well since we will be playing Halo until 4am.

Be right back...maybe. lol

Look I'm back and motivated...


Once upon a time...
...there was a man who was granted one wish. He was given three days to come up with this wish before the wish would not happen. The man didn't think anything of it, until he began to think of all the things he never had. As a young boy, years before he found himself in a candy store where he could not resist the temptation to buy everything in the store. Unfortunately, he only had a couple coins given to him by his grandma to buy dinner. The little boy turned around, left the candy store with the same possessions. Walking sadly down the street, he promised himself that one day he'll own the world. Between the time of this tragedy and this wish, he was blessed with a wonderful wife and children to bring happiness and hope into his life. So, knowing what he had already, a wish was hard to come by, even with all the things he never had. Minutes before his wish was bound to vanish forever, he granted himself a wish that would last forever. He wished for nothing. Suddenly the wish was stunned with this man's unselfish gesture. The wish granted this man and his family a farewell and disappeared. Although the man was confused why he out of many would be granted a wish. Later, he was given a letter that was unbelievable to even his eyes. The power of the wish brought warmth to those around this man.

We can't all have what we wish for, but knowing that there's someone to keep us from wanting more, we'll continue to be happy.

written by Josh Gumbi on 11/08/07

October

The month of October could be remembered in great detail. A majority of this month was preparing for a softball tournament, finalizing preparations for a family member's wedding reception, and preparing for that special first day after the month ends. Plus, the Xbox 360 console entered my life later in the month that keeps me up later than usual at night. The return of the Socom night, but this time we're fighting as either Spartans or Covenant scum.

For now, I'll write that introduction. I will continue this at a later time.

Who reads this still? Seriously. I hardly even jot now the ideas in my head. Whatever. Here's what I'm thinking.

Either last Friday, or even Thursday was the last time I saw you. This week seems so long that I continue to miss you. It sounds so sincere when I hear you say I miss you to me. Well, your show is this weekend. It has been a frustrated one for you from what I've noticed. Sometimes you must endure such pressure in order to fulfill your passions, but on the hand, we could all use a really good bear hug. I sit here with my new game, NHL08, to temporarily replace the attention you are unable to give me. Hoy! You're doing your stuff. I understand. Do it, in the meantime, I'm here scoring goals against the video game computer. Talk to you soon. I hope run-through stuff was fun.