Reading Minds

Yesterday, there came a point where our eyes met as if we were the only two in the room. What went through my mind was, read me, look deep down inside, and tell me what I'm thinking. As we cherish the world that's been given to us, I look into your mind and tell you everything what is on my mind. That evening, you read my mind. You did what any guy would want a girl would want them to do, that would simply be look back. But you did a little extra, you saw what I saw. And then you read my mind and followed me. The world can be awkward, but there are times when the blur turns clear. I cherish every moment because what you do is what makes me happy.

Congratulations to the Akbayan of SJSU Pil-Grad Graduates. The world is now yours to conquer. May your path be an obstacle, yet possible.

Woot woot again!

Today was an interesting day at work. Before I get into that, let's define customer service. I've soft touched the surface of servicing customers with polite gestures, smiles, and constant attention. What the customer needs, that's what I'll give them. There's no sales pitch to make them buy more (well, not all the time, I'm sales, what do you expect), I don't necessarily upsell the customer to spend a few extra dollars on something that they don't need, I simply listen and respond in a correct manner. Blah blah blah. Chit chat chit chat. On occasion, I'll make small talk with customers in any mood I'm in.

Anyway, on topic, I've encountered two customers that have found my services astonishing. What can you expect from me, kindness, courtesy, and a friendly service! By the conclusion of the sale, I've received and handed out my business card to meet and greet with their HR person. Interesting yes. But career wise, makes me wonder.

As for other stuff, my 11th PCN passed. I QUIT. I am done. But I recently was told that they'd pay me, but dude, Akbayan is my family, I wouldn't want them to pay me. I just want to say I'm done. If they didn't find teachers already, shame on you. FYI, there's Hiyas, Likha, Barangay, and many other resources to go to. Use them.

As for other other stuff, I care, but when we get into little spasms, I feel it pulls us apart, as well as pushes us together. I guess you can say it as testing the others limits, but it all just depends what's being communicated. I don't want to make you feel sad or upset. I want you to smile. I want you to laugh with me. I want to rebuild what I cannot control.

note: Heart you.

Woot woot

There are many reasons why I am happy, yet you need to go through obstacles to reach this feeling. I was feeling intoxicated this evening. I don't want to lose your trust because I know that there's something out there. Welp! The San Jose Sharks go to the 2nd Round!!! Woot woot!!!

This is Joey being who he is.
I miss you.

note: Who's next?

It's About Time...

...you woke up. Unfortunately it wasn't me that woke you up. Yes, I was bored. I tried to sleep, but it was just too hot. Anyway, I'll see you in a second. I missed you though.

Why am I the type that has developed this addiction for attention? I don't know why. Maybe because that's what I've been getting lately. Now I know why you always wake me up when I'm falling asleep, so you're not lonely. When the person you yearn for is right next to you, but they're in another world, (ie. sleeping) that's when I miss you the most. That's when I feel the most lonely. So...

This is definitely the last PCN I teach. I made a pact. So hopefully my opposite takes it as seriously as I do. Anyway.

note: Paintballs cool!!!

Happy Birthday to Aris. Sorry I couldn't be there. Righteous birthday wishes.

Upsetting

Name this movie quote:
Girl: Do you like giving me attention?
Guy: Yes. I've chosen you. And you're accepting.
Girl: I heart you.



Errr...I don't know how to feel. I was being open and put into a category I thought I would never be in. I guess it is just one of those reactions that I didn't think would ever occur. Am I one of those guys? I would never think.

For instance, my past has always haunted me with future misfortunes. I told you something that I never thought I could answer. But after thinking about it, I realized it was a truth that had to be admitted. It started, it ended. I cannot explain. It's just what it is. Take me for who I am, not for what was scarred.

note: I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE GUYS.

Waiting

I'm waiting. I have no work tomorrow and I'm lazy and bored. Why did you have to leave? It would be so nice if you stayed a little bit longer. But everytime I wait, I assume the assumption. It shouldn't bother me, but it does. I try to void the feelings that overcome. So, I might as well make my way to the Condo. Ignore and suppress the feeling because that's what you know best.

On the other hand, I have all these attached feelings that I shouldn't be having. Or should I accept what I'm receiving, which is a great friend and great someone of every friendly aspect. Love you.

Support Appreciated

For those of you who keep telling you want to see me play ice hockey, here you go:

#75
Icemen vs. Blizzard
1st Round Playoff Game
430pm //that's why I'm taking off work early.
Logitech Ice Arena
10th Street *South Campus

I'm unsure which rink, but just look for the Icemen name on the board in the main rink area. Near the registers.

Love you all. It'd be great if you can come support. Thanks
BEST YET...It's FREE.

I...

I was lonely.
I was waiting for someone for so long.
I realized that she really wasn't right.
I needed a good reason to let it go.
I didn't need a reason.
I just needed to let go.
I talked about my craziness.
I found no reason to grasp for any longer.
I let go.
I no longer have feelings that tormented me.
I started to believe in serendipity.
I found that it wasn't happening.
I reached out.
I found a hand that fit mine.
I realized my hand didn't fit hers.
I ignored the impossibilities.
I determined the "meant to be" situation.
I stepped back, she followed.
I want to let go.
I need to hold her.
I want to let go.
I need to let go.
I want to be bad.
I need to let go.
I need to let go.
Let me go. Believe in fortunate accidents.

I like you.

News!

Today is seems so emotional, yet eager. Eager to figure out the truth is worth anything. No matter what the situation, I'll still be there for you. When I said I hope history doesn't repeat itself, I hope you knew what I meant. For the reader's out there, I'm just speaking of an interest that has jumped into my life. Crazy how it happened. It just did. It was there a year ago, but I ignored it. Because my feelings were too strong for another. Plus, a year ago, I was confused to the max. I feel my grammar is far frome clear. For now, I'm just a little nervous, scared, and concerned that my friend doesn't get hurt. We all get hurt. But it takes great emotional, pure happiness to feel pain. So, don't forget, everything has an opposite effect.

note: Gosh, my hair is long.

How Feelings Show

6th Day - Forever Starts Today

Girl, wipe away the tears
Over these mountain hills
Is an ocean of love
And we'll sail forever
With the winds that showed us how to fall
Into a state of mind we’ve never known
Oh love, What should I do love?

Oh girl
Don't look the other way
I'm smiling at your face
No need to search for love
Cuz I'll be here to take your doubts away
Don't put this love to waste
Don't let it slip away
Don’t let it kill our faith
So just gather the pain, throw it away

Girl, if you look back in time
With every picture frame you'll find
There's a vision of what our love could be
Where we could fulfill a legacy of love
And every fairy tale that has a happy ending

Oh girl, what we should do love
We can take the leap of faith
We'll regret it if we don’t take that chance

Forever starts today
Ooohh
Forever starts today
Ooohh

Don't look the other way loves smiling at your face
Don’t let this love to waste don't let it slip away
I need you right here, no I can’t have you out of my life


I was listening to my Itunes and decided to look up the 6th Day album that I saw on the josepenala.com site. This song actually portrays how I feel. Maybe not completely, but the chorus expresses how I feel. I'm not entirely sure what I want for my future, but for my present, I want to give love. I want to give my everything. I want to wrap my arms around someone that wants to be held by me. Or am I just in this emotional state because I just downloaded the song above. For now, the world shall run its course, and I will find a direction that puts me in a place of happiness.

note: Lubbers Yew

Emotional Trashcan

Have you ever put yourself into a situation that you couldn't control? Only for the single reason that you wanted something more, but knew you couldn't. You badly want what's best for someone, but doing the worst wouldn't make their life any easier. I admit, there was a point in my life where I was in the same position and I attempted to get what I wanted. The consequence wasn't as bad, but it deprived my ways to be nonexistent.

After almost five years from that incident, I fall into a dilemma that just creeped up on me. Happiness overwhelmes my soul when you're around. Finding myself glance at you when you're across the room, I don't know if I should just let it fade out. The apples and the oranges have been juggled and tumbled onto the floor.

note: Playing ice hockey Saturday night. Come watch!

Cake!!!!!!

The spacing gets bigger and the space taken up gets more in depth. I never thought the window would open up like this. Looking out this window and not being able to see the view can really break the glass. Maybe someday the light will shine through. Someday, maybe I should just go back into my old room and look out that window.

note: There's an apple tree and I can't pick any apples. There's girl scout cookies everywhere, and I'm stuck with nothing.

I love you.

Clean Slate

I've found the introduction to a new life. It just dawned on me that everything has reset. The stress and fustrations are no longer present. The apples have been eaten to the core and the oranges were peeled and freshly squeezed. Yes, try to decipher what's on my mind.

The smudges are still there, but my pen still has enough ink to write down something or new poems. The lyrics will always rhyme. Although, why haven't I did what everyone is telling me to do? Because...

Don't want to.

The emotional trash can once told me that if I didn't spill the apples, then there really isn't anything to peel. True or false? Who knows? I care...I care a lot, but sometimes I just need simplicity.

To the recently ex-emo'd, it was a great day. Spending time with you is always the bestest. I will be able to braid hair soon. We all get burnt out. This is just the beginning.

note: Hunger Force on Adult Swim. New apartment setting, visit anytime people.

Internet & Cable

We've had internet for 4 days at the apartment. When we there was no internet, we lived life, unfortunately, there were a lot of small things missing. Like, having to go online for financial issues and email, the usage to browse was unlikely. I was able to read the www.chucknorrisfacts.com site. The facts weren't really facts, but random stuff, but REALLY funny.

Anyway, I went to get ashed on Wednesday. "God loves humor too." That's what I whispered to Camille when we were praying. On behalf of my devotion to the Lent season, I'm going to take on confidence where it needs it best, and make sure my mean humor doesn't get in the pathways of Ale and Millay. Oh! Also, cookies are my demons which I will give up.

note: Falling for something impossible.

Reflections on a Marked Mirror

What a title, eh...
It is actually what I see right now. Being on the Condo's Living Room computer, I sit in front of a mirror that has a lot of graffiti and markings as if it is ancient script. Joke lang.

After a week in San Jose, I don't feel at home just yet. I'm slowly getting in the groove of things. I enjoy my roommates. They're cool. Only downside is the cleanliness, but hey, we're guys, even I can get a little on the messy side. We're not as bad as the female species, which whom I will not name. Did I mention, I need to make a copy of my keys still?

So, my healthy structure is getting back in line. A few weeks before I moved back, I was running along the beach every other day...until it started raining. This morning I jogged from the apartment to the library to meet up with Alan, and it was refreshing. More jogging anyone? Weight before San Jose: 181lbs. Weight now: 171lbs. Plus muscle is coming back. I'm 26 and I'm healthy.

note: May the world run smoothly with water.

ARGH!!!

I ridicule those who first mention:
"I just want to say sorry for not updating..."

So, I just find that funny. For those who do read this piece of crap, do what you want because I'm in a bad mood. Super Ading Camillay is TRYING to keep me from just saying "no more". Garrr!!!

I appreciate those who make it first priority. I think and believe that scheduling is just really unorganized this year. Most likely, we're just going to have to cut MORE dances. "Maybe we should just be like other school's and do like 4 dances" opposed to our original 15. I guess being realistic, everyone just wants to do everything. I'll find out my answers by Sunday.

If I had to choose, the four dances I'd keep would be Aray, Lumagen(90 sec. routine), Vinta, Singkil umbrella/fangirl routine only(haha).

On the opposite end of the cranium...

02/14/06
Letter to Anonymous:
Everyone deserves something from someone...
either it be a friend, lover, etc. on Valentine's Day.
On any given day, I'd shower you with roses,
but what good would that be.
Most likely you'd keep just one as a remembrance and toss the rest.
On this day, instead of a shower,
I give you a single drop [rose] to keep in mind
that you are a unique female that always puts a smile on my face,
gives me butterflies when you're near,
and takes my breath away when you're close.
(maybe that's why I can't speak when you're right there)
so enjoy this commercialized day and,
if my memory stand corrected,
your mother's birthday.

note: I've been age put down again..."What? You remember pager code." I hate you.

Orange Sweatshirt Day

I finally found the weekend where I could make it to a family party...outside of San Francisco. We went out to the Brentwood to my cousin's house out there. The houses are nice because they don't all look the same, maybe in color. The inside was carpeted and nicely trimmed with furniture.

As for the party, there was family that I thought would never go. But the favorite part of my family was EVERYONE. I can't live life without my family around me. They're great, and they'll never forget who you are. Obviously!

To my future significant other,

If you don't love my family, then I can't love you. I will treat you and your family as my own. From day one, my respect will not stop at you. I am a family man. Please respect that.

Love,
Joel Ramon

another Blah

Watching San Jose Sharks game. I've decided to blog during the 2nd Intermission. I'm really tired. I wait for the game to end so I can just knock out. This evening, I've decided to write on a topic that I've been pondering about for a while now. If you haven't seen Wedding Crashers, don't read the next paragraph...please.

There was the scene at the family's weekend home where it was the evening time already. When John Beckwith, played byOwen Wilson, is tossing and turning in his bedroom which is the same house that Claire Cleary, played by Rachel McAdams, grew up and lives in. Do you remember that scene? He exits his bedroom and walks down the hallway to her room, where he simply stops and goes back to his room. Next up, she goes to his door and lightly knocks on his door. Unfortunately, he doesn't hear.

Here's the relation...

In 2005, I've managed to be in this situation in all sorts. Last year, dating was the idea, nothing more. The first time just had me wanting and wishing for the unknown. At the time, she didn't know I had a crush on her. (I said 'crush') The second time actually wasn't that bad because I played video games with her brothers while she slept. They played, I knocked out. The third was just completely uncomfortable, so I worked out. All three times, I wanted to hold them. For those that don't know me, I'm a holder. I never used to be one, but I've realized that, as the guy, your arms are very important. They're protection, comfort, a surrounding from untold fears. With the urge to just lay myself next to these females, I stayed my ground in respect. An individual's room is possibly their sanctuary. An invite is the only way in, especially if I'm interested in one.

It's 2006 now. I've been single for more or less a year now. It's been a speedy year, ups and downs, and reconnected my friendships with old and new individuals. Nearly one month down, eleven to go.

note: I didn't know I'd write this much.

Ducks Vs. Kings

Or maybe I should've put Warriors Vs. Clippers...

Another week of overnights began. Both my supervisor and I were completely exhausted. Unfortunately for him, he lost a filling, so he was out of it all day. Other than that, I woke up this morning and my voice was gone. My co-worker said that I party too hard. I told him that you can't party too hard, but too much. Even though two nights of indoor disco disco, it was one more than usual for me. This post seems pretty vague and pointless, plus it's a Monday.

The most exciting news would probably be about my new Scion. I planned on getting it mid-March. Now, the plan is mid-February or before. That's not the good news, I'll probably avoid finance charges and pay the full amount. Do I have that much money? Let's just say I won't be able to put gas in for a couple...decades. (joke lang...katawa) Woohoo!!!

note: it's about time.

The Italian Job

Another weekend down the drain, yet in the memory books.

Work went by more smoothly this past Friday, unlike the last. Fast foward to an unpredictable night, the B.M.P. boys and girl threw a party like no other. Three days of myspace promotion, opening doors 30 minutes late, and leaving the staffing to the club owner made the night even better. It would have been a lot easier and more profitable to just staff our own party, but oh well. The environment just seemed right when we started playing some old school slow jams, plus Michael Jackson, in the 21+ room...of course before the doors opened. Collared shirt night was not in affect. What happens when we, minus the dj's, don't need to staff, we drink. I admit that drinking is a part of my lifestyle. For what reasons, realizing that working that 40-hr. week needs some weekend relief. I don't really drink, I just buy one drink for one person and one for myself. I can't let someone drink by themself. My dance partner for the night was good company. I tried dancing with others, but she kept pulling me in. Who do you think I am, your boyfriend? Whatever. With "liquid courage" brewing through my system, I missed chance after chance. I guess, being shoulder to shoulder ain't the same as having...
For some reason, when dancing, I laugh when a girl turns around and forces me to dance with just her butt. In response, no thanks. But, when I get to smell her hair and the fragrance on her neck, that is well worth the dance. Back to the booty dancing. When they do that, what am I supposed to do...spank them. Ha! Dancing is just too much for me sometimes. Choreography is more my style. I'm finally letting my life open up.

To sum up Saturday, I was knocked out during the afternoon time at 620. I made my way to watch the Pacquaio/Morales fight. Before the fight, I attempted to make a dinner bet with Tediocarm. I took the even rounds. Round 10 was the closer. Manny Pacquaio is the "Hero of the Philippines". I would have won too. The moment Morales dropped for the SECOND time, the bunch of us were screaming and hi-fiving, and releasing our filipino pride. Cheering at that time probably accounted for my lost voice, plus a few others. By 10pm, we were on our way to Luna Lounge.
I finally got to buy the birthday girl a drink...and then some. Ha! As one says "good times". Good times should never be in one place, one time, only time. They're constant. You bring the times of good and bad to you everyday. I got my Loco Moco at Japantown Denny's, and then got home just in time to wake up for my store meeting.

Hopefully my last week at the San Francisco store. 3am-1130am this week. Plus, jury duty.

note: Talking is the basis of great friendship. Let's do this sometime.