Listening to --- Extreme - More Than Words
The second version of akbayan's pcn script is on its way. The best feeling about this script is that its...
Like I'm going to tell you people. Don't worry, it's decent. If you could find meaning in my piece below, then you know the script...good luck.
"The lives tend to move forward step by step, obstacle by obstacle. In cases that may follow such a path takes pride, dignity, and wisdom. What pushes to go further is the strength of loss. The greatest part of family is the ability to be close no matter how far or how near. The worst part of family is the love for the mistakes that members of all may take. The line ahead will go straight as long as your mind doesn't rest for curvatures."
How bout that? Can you make a story off of that? I have.
Aivy Roma --- Its late and you should be getting home from anaheim within the next few hours. I know you're going to read this immediately, so...I'm sleeping, fell asleep at probably 6am. I don't have a car because my brother took it to work. Whenever possible, come here. I miss you.
Monday, December 30, 2002
Saturday, December 28, 2002
Listening to --- MJ - Remember The Time
Wondering why sleeping late just happens.
"Seasons come and go, but luckily they come right back a year later. Sitting in the midnight spiritual building listening and contemplating why happiness is dedicated to this day of blessing for the birth of the Son of Him. Through my wondering mind gives a particular thought that demands what it may take to give such a day to be among the other days such as this one. The giving of presents and the smiles of laughter spread throughout a majority of this world. And now we come to find out the cynical expressions and deliberate accusations across catholic citizens. Strange to find out such stories that can destroy such a great and fulfilling tradition." (12/25)
"Looking straight feeling comfort when isolated from anyone 'round the perimeter or the area. Clicking a button and finding transportation that seems most helpful for pounds of heavy objects. Until the time my findings are entering another's area. Eyes straight and up looking at blinking lights, red digital numbers, listening with ears to beeps and clings, smelling the sniffs of my nose as the person next is minding one's own business. Sometimes wondering why people mind their own business. Going into someone's possession to walk in is awkward for some when lonliness is among them. Single instead of dual, or double is how this rumor can be outside and newly made. When suddenly a certain coincidence happens to such a group that they find each other as a team wondering such an event could ever happen to them." (12/26)
My Quote of the Day: "Blow out candles again flowing into the sky like melting smoke and tainted wax."
Wondering why sleeping late just happens.
"Seasons come and go, but luckily they come right back a year later. Sitting in the midnight spiritual building listening and contemplating why happiness is dedicated to this day of blessing for the birth of the Son of Him. Through my wondering mind gives a particular thought that demands what it may take to give such a day to be among the other days such as this one. The giving of presents and the smiles of laughter spread throughout a majority of this world. And now we come to find out the cynical expressions and deliberate accusations across catholic citizens. Strange to find out such stories that can destroy such a great and fulfilling tradition." (12/25)
"Looking straight feeling comfort when isolated from anyone 'round the perimeter or the area. Clicking a button and finding transportation that seems most helpful for pounds of heavy objects. Until the time my findings are entering another's area. Eyes straight and up looking at blinking lights, red digital numbers, listening with ears to beeps and clings, smelling the sniffs of my nose as the person next is minding one's own business. Sometimes wondering why people mind their own business. Going into someone's possession to walk in is awkward for some when lonliness is among them. Single instead of dual, or double is how this rumor can be outside and newly made. When suddenly a certain coincidence happens to such a group that they find each other as a team wondering such an event could ever happen to them." (12/26)
My Quote of the Day: "Blow out candles again flowing into the sky like melting smoke and tainted wax."
Friday, December 20, 2002
Listening to --- DNH - Sexy Underwear
Isolated from the chilly weather that pierces my skin like a spoon left in a freezer for a day
"My ligaments move from side to side contemplating to the deliberate sounds that thud across the air."
---hehehe sorry. i got really lazy. that's it. oh and yay! all my blog entries are back!!!
My Quote of the Day: "Beating blood flows becoming a graceful conscious sparkle."
Isolated from the chilly weather that pierces my skin like a spoon left in a freezer for a day
"My ligaments move from side to side contemplating to the deliberate sounds that thud across the air."
---hehehe sorry. i got really lazy. that's it. oh and yay! all my blog entries are back!!!
My Quote of the Day: "Beating blood flows becoming a graceful conscious sparkle."
Wednesday, December 18, 2002
Sitting in utter and faintless breezes of the winter winds press against my window
"Happiness endures as numbers and letters configure the revelances on how progress precedes.
Long nights and wasteful days shift to days on end making no such profits in my days.
Days forth will become unheard devouring such flowing piles of nothings that wished to succeed.
Making no sense once again you can't expect every line to be so simple to fade.
This word to word, bouncing poetic tendencies find ways to make your ears become so attentive.
Clicking these keys that make my words give meaning to the times forever at piece.
The correct words do conjure to the ways found so do not feel that grammar isn't so selective.
Forth and mostly the loins and lines form this shapely form to not become unleashed."
My Quote of the Day: "Intelligence is speaking, smart is knowing, abstract is unlimited."
"Happiness endures as numbers and letters configure the revelances on how progress precedes.
Long nights and wasteful days shift to days on end making no such profits in my days.
Days forth will become unheard devouring such flowing piles of nothings that wished to succeed.
Making no sense once again you can't expect every line to be so simple to fade.
This word to word, bouncing poetic tendencies find ways to make your ears become so attentive.
Clicking these keys that make my words give meaning to the times forever at piece.
The correct words do conjure to the ways found so do not feel that grammar isn't so selective.
Forth and mostly the loins and lines form this shapely form to not become unleashed."
My Quote of the Day: "Intelligence is speaking, smart is knowing, abstract is unlimited."
Sunday, December 15, 2002
Sitting in silence with a faint IM ring in the back room
"Read this straight because once again I'll only say it once.
I write this blogger as a way to reflect on the many obstacles not only I face, but as my surroundings.
This may sound strange but most of my entries encourage others to write...vent...open up.
Is it that hard to open up to most people that they would rather have people read about them.
I shrug and answer my phone at this late of night by a friend who just turned nineteen.
Collecting each IM window finding out what people are doing that keep them up late.
Understanding that finals is half over and the era of late up staying is present.
For myself, this recent times just get me to think of comfortability.
As the out-standing friendships further and move inward or outward,
the craziness of minds flows like a square wheel.
My mind is blanking filling with words that won't usually make sense.
The new topic coming to mind is a new environment that once came along not too long ago.
Faces that smile and joyous occassions that could turn bad, but the tide will not turn.
The rain will surround us all with a cleansing of richness.
The soil anews the rythym that rhymes in our hearts.
This is just nonsense.
Leave this alone and let it rest for the future is nothing to look forward to.
Look in front of you and people will find the answers.
I have."
Why am I coming out from hiding once again? It has always been true that I keep a lot of my thoughts suppressed only to be released by the incorrect source. Well, I write tonight because I lay here in bed with so many thoughts that I can't talk about with just anyone. There's only a few people that I could talk to, and I feel like I'm losing that connection with these people. I hardly see them because I feel my priority in life is no longer valid. I don't know what to do. Even when I try talking about it, I get bombarded with an opposite reaction that I'd once again just keep it all inside. Am I losing my mind? Probably not, because I've dealt with this over and over in my life. Maybe, but what really is my problem? I ask for too much? I expect one thing, and when something else occurs, I'm back into my little hole. Mid-life crisis? Oh come on now, it's going to happen someday, or maybe I'm just going through it all without thought, without realizing that I'm getting older every second and I have nothing to show for it. I"m single, or I'm taken. I don't really know. Just when I believe that I'm happy, I'm sad and upset and angry and unwilling to accept the situation. But what do I do? I accept it because I have hope. But that hope is fading away. Don't get me wrong, I want to try. I want to wait. Well, why does it hurt every night waiting for something doesn't seem like it'll happen in my life time. The only reason I blog is because I'm hurt, and there's no where else to turn to. No one else to talk to because that one person you really want to talk to doesn't appear to listen anymore. Maybe it's my problem and I've stopped listening. Before I would cry about all this, but I've seized from crying because crying is something that I've done a lot. If I no longer cry, then I won't get hurt. Hide the pain. But it hurts so much. I'm thinking this thing called love doesn't exist in me because it comes and I hope it's there, but it doesn't feel like it. Maybe at first, but why doesn't it stay. What is love? I love you. I say it with so much affection but when I hear it return, my heart doesn't feel it. Love is difficult because it involves two people. Putting so much faith in person that you pray so hard that that person would love you the way you would. That they would care about the same way everytime you see each other. I don't feel that anymore. Maybe it's time to let go. Is it worth trying anymore?
12/15-16/08 12:32am
"Read this straight because once again I'll only say it once.
I write this blogger as a way to reflect on the many obstacles not only I face, but as my surroundings.
This may sound strange but most of my entries encourage others to write...vent...open up.
Is it that hard to open up to most people that they would rather have people read about them.
I shrug and answer my phone at this late of night by a friend who just turned nineteen.
Collecting each IM window finding out what people are doing that keep them up late.
Understanding that finals is half over and the era of late up staying is present.
For myself, this recent times just get me to think of comfortability.
As the out-standing friendships further and move inward or outward,
the craziness of minds flows like a square wheel.
My mind is blanking filling with words that won't usually make sense.
The new topic coming to mind is a new environment that once came along not too long ago.
Faces that smile and joyous occassions that could turn bad, but the tide will not turn.
The rain will surround us all with a cleansing of richness.
The soil anews the rythym that rhymes in our hearts.
This is just nonsense.
Leave this alone and let it rest for the future is nothing to look forward to.
Look in front of you and people will find the answers.
I have."
Why am I coming out from hiding once again? It has always been true that I keep a lot of my thoughts suppressed only to be released by the incorrect source. Well, I write tonight because I lay here in bed with so many thoughts that I can't talk about with just anyone. There's only a few people that I could talk to, and I feel like I'm losing that connection with these people. I hardly see them because I feel my priority in life is no longer valid. I don't know what to do. Even when I try talking about it, I get bombarded with an opposite reaction that I'd once again just keep it all inside. Am I losing my mind? Probably not, because I've dealt with this over and over in my life. Maybe, but what really is my problem? I ask for too much? I expect one thing, and when something else occurs, I'm back into my little hole. Mid-life crisis? Oh come on now, it's going to happen someday, or maybe I'm just going through it all without thought, without realizing that I'm getting older every second and I have nothing to show for it. I"m single, or I'm taken. I don't really know. Just when I believe that I'm happy, I'm sad and upset and angry and unwilling to accept the situation. But what do I do? I accept it because I have hope. But that hope is fading away. Don't get me wrong, I want to try. I want to wait. Well, why does it hurt every night waiting for something doesn't seem like it'll happen in my life time. The only reason I blog is because I'm hurt, and there's no where else to turn to. No one else to talk to because that one person you really want to talk to doesn't appear to listen anymore. Maybe it's my problem and I've stopped listening. Before I would cry about all this, but I've seized from crying because crying is something that I've done a lot. If I no longer cry, then I won't get hurt. Hide the pain. But it hurts so much. I'm thinking this thing called love doesn't exist in me because it comes and I hope it's there, but it doesn't feel like it. Maybe at first, but why doesn't it stay. What is love? I love you. I say it with so much affection but when I hear it return, my heart doesn't feel it. Love is difficult because it involves two people. Putting so much faith in person that you pray so hard that that person would love you the way you would. That they would care about the same way everytime you see each other. I don't feel that anymore. Maybe it's time to let go. Is it worth trying anymore?
12/15-16/08 12:32am
Wednesday, December 11, 2002
Stop swearing AND STOP smoking!
(HOPEyouCANreadTHIS...theSPACEBARisn'tWORKING)
"thespacearoundmefeelstobecompletelyopenfornewopportunities...
thepeoplearoundmeseemtobefallingbehindormovingupbeforeme...
thetendencytokeepmymindoccupiedwithdataisfluctuatingaway...
theurgetomoveforwardisslowlydeterioratingintoanemptymist...
theclickofaclickworksnotgivingmysenseofabnoraltypingstyle...
theconfusionofthiswilllongforeverraidthemindwithbaffle...
themindbehindthemindwillsooncomeoutandjoingreatstuff...
theheartmustbranchouttodifferentareasofregionofchoice...
thereadingofwordsisstillandmostcompellingthoughtaway...
thegreatestpartaboutsuccessistakingonnewchallenges...
theworstpartaboutsuccessisanticipatinguncertainty...
thelifestyleofmanistoachievesomethingbetterthan...
WHO?
peoplecan'tpossiblyknowtheanswersthatkeephappinessalive...
peopleshouldn'tthinkdifferentlyfromtheirownthoughts...
peopletakeontheirowngoalstheirowndreams...
peoplecontinuetostriveforthosedreamsaspirationsgoals...
peoplesurviveforthemselvesandsometimesforspecialone's...
peoplelikemethinkdifferentlyfromeveryoneelse...
peoplelikeeveryoneelsethinkdifferentlyfromeveryoneelse...
peopletrytobrandideasofone'sopinionintosomeothers...
peopledon'tletpeoplebepeopleindividualbeindividual...
peoplekeepthefeelingthatwemust...
WHAT?
understandthebasicnecessitiesoflife...
understandthatwecangoonwithoutanother...
understandthepersonbesideyoucangoonwithoutyou...
understandlettinggobringsouttodifferentaspectsanew...
understandkeepingaclosenessispassion...
understandthefeelingofsighsissogreat...
understandpossessionsdon'tmakeyou...
understandyoumakepossessionspartofyou...
understandwecapturethesweetaroma...
WHY?
to live this crazy life of the norm. to write the way one is taught. to make correct grammar issues. to be what we are sometimes told. i am one of these. i wish to be free. i wish to take on challenges. i wish for a passion. i wish for path to live by."
(HOPEyouCANreadTHIS...theSPACEBARisn'tWORKING)
"thespacearoundmefeelstobecompletelyopenfornewopportunities...
thepeoplearoundmeseemtobefallingbehindormovingupbeforeme...
thetendencytokeepmymindoccupiedwithdataisfluctuatingaway...
theurgetomoveforwardisslowlydeterioratingintoanemptymist...
theclickofaclickworksnotgivingmysenseofabnoraltypingstyle...
theconfusionofthiswilllongforeverraidthemindwithbaffle...
themindbehindthemindwillsooncomeoutandjoingreatstuff...
theheartmustbranchouttodifferentareasofregionofchoice...
thereadingofwordsisstillandmostcompellingthoughtaway...
thegreatestpartaboutsuccessistakingonnewchallenges...
theworstpartaboutsuccessisanticipatinguncertainty...
thelifestyleofmanistoachievesomethingbetterthan...
WHO?
peoplecan'tpossiblyknowtheanswersthatkeephappinessalive...
peopleshouldn'tthinkdifferentlyfromtheirownthoughts...
peopletakeontheirowngoalstheirowndreams...
peoplecontinuetostriveforthosedreamsaspirationsgoals...
peoplesurviveforthemselvesandsometimesforspecialone's...
peoplelikemethinkdifferentlyfromeveryoneelse...
peoplelikeeveryoneelsethinkdifferentlyfromeveryoneelse...
peopletrytobrandideasofone'sopinionintosomeothers...
peopledon'tletpeoplebepeopleindividualbeindividual...
peoplekeepthefeelingthatwemust...
WHAT?
understandthebasicnecessitiesoflife...
understandthatwecangoonwithoutanother...
understandthepersonbesideyoucangoonwithoutyou...
understandlettinggobringsouttodifferentaspectsanew...
understandkeepingaclosenessispassion...
understandthefeelingofsighsissogreat...
understandpossessionsdon'tmakeyou...
understandyoumakepossessionspartofyou...
understandwecapturethesweetaroma...
WHY?
to live this crazy life of the norm. to write the way one is taught. to make correct grammar issues. to be what we are sometimes told. i am one of these. i wish to be free. i wish to take on challenges. i wish for a passion. i wish for path to live by."
Friday, December 06, 2002
Wednesday, December 04, 2002
6th Day - Your Call; Eraserheads - Toyang
i can't believe school and lectures are soon to be over. well, for once, i'm kind of depressed that the knowledge i've been comprehending with this summer, exclude dr. garcia's class, has really paid off. i feel that the academics of this semester will be forth into good use. well, except my programming class since computers and businesses hardly use assembly language. anyway, i'm ashamed that i accepted my first D of the semester on monday. i was being evaluated for a certain class, and then i guess its my fault because i didn't put THAT much effort into the project. well, i was getting an A in the class before that. so i'm probably at a B+/B now.
finally i realized that xmas is coming up and i have no money to buy people stuff. anyway, about that D evaluation, it seems as if a lot of the people in my major found out about my misfortune. after i received my 68%, i just told people what was asked for the evaluation. that's it. and then the next day, many more people know of my failure. its ok. i'm doing good in the class still. so HA!
i can't believe school and lectures are soon to be over. well, for once, i'm kind of depressed that the knowledge i've been comprehending with this summer, exclude dr. garcia's class, has really paid off. i feel that the academics of this semester will be forth into good use. well, except my programming class since computers and businesses hardly use assembly language. anyway, i'm ashamed that i accepted my first D of the semester on monday. i was being evaluated for a certain class, and then i guess its my fault because i didn't put THAT much effort into the project. well, i was getting an A in the class before that. so i'm probably at a B+/B now.
finally i realized that xmas is coming up and i have no money to buy people stuff. anyway, about that D evaluation, it seems as if a lot of the people in my major found out about my misfortune. after i received my 68%, i just told people what was asked for the evaluation. that's it. and then the next day, many more people know of my failure. its ok. i'm doing good in the class still. so HA!
Monday, December 02, 2002
112 - Crazy For You; 6th Day - Your Call; N'Sync - Something Like You
That's the end of that thanksgiving break. 4th Annual E-dub Thanksgiving Potluck. Thanksgiving with the fams. 3rd Annual Post-Thanksgiving Snowboarding Trip to North Tahoe. Busted my right knee take my ONE and ONLY fall going down one of the hills. Woke up in a luxurious condo at Squaw Valley resorts. Attempting to take the 5 home from Tahoe. IT WORKS!!! Finished up my LabVIEW project Saturday night. Sharks Lost. 49ers Won. Finished my 162 lab. Accomplished my 198XC assignment. Re-worked my previous 198 assignment with Aivy. Walked Aivy out and put my arms around her because she was cold. Now...I await for her to return to her venue.
Overall: Life Has Lead Me To Unexpecting Paths - My Mind Just Says Walk Forward With A Smile.
That's the end of that thanksgiving break. 4th Annual E-dub Thanksgiving Potluck. Thanksgiving with the fams. 3rd Annual Post-Thanksgiving Snowboarding Trip to North Tahoe. Busted my right knee take my ONE and ONLY fall going down one of the hills. Woke up in a luxurious condo at Squaw Valley resorts. Attempting to take the 5 home from Tahoe. IT WORKS!!! Finished up my LabVIEW project Saturday night. Sharks Lost. 49ers Won. Finished my 162 lab. Accomplished my 198XC assignment. Re-worked my previous 198 assignment with Aivy. Walked Aivy out and put my arms around her because she was cold. Now...I await for her to return to her venue.
Overall: Life Has Lead Me To Unexpecting Paths - My Mind Just Says Walk Forward With A Smile.
Sunday, December 01, 2002
Tavares - Heaven Must Be Missing An Angel
I hate it when my archives don't show. It all just sucks. I went snowboarding at boreal. ouch is the single word that explains the trip.
Since it IS the first of the month of december, and 25 days from now is the Day of Giving, here's what You can get ME...
1) 5 A's for my Fall 2k2 Semester
2) San Jose Sharks Home(white) Jersey
3) Prohibit smoking
4) Upper Deck 2k2-2k3 NHL box
5) $$$
6) A Framed Picture of the Triforce @ F'Games 2k2
7) ...more later
I hate it when my archives don't show. It all just sucks. I went snowboarding at boreal. ouch is the single word that explains the trip.
Since it IS the first of the month of december, and 25 days from now is the Day of Giving, here's what You can get ME...
1) 5 A's for my Fall 2k2 Semester
2) San Jose Sharks Home(white) Jersey
3) Prohibit smoking
4) Upper Deck 2k2-2k3 NHL box
5) $$$
6) A Framed Picture of the Triforce @ F'Games 2k2
7) ...more later
Friday, November 29, 2002
Thursday, November 28, 2002
Boyz II Men - I Do
The past few days have been so hectic. And this week being only three days, I've suddenly felt that this break may or may not break my concentration. although, there is only one more week of school left after this weekend. so, this weekend i need to complete three 10-page papers. And I'm going snowboarding. I can do it.
"Directing my soul in ways that separate among flowing delta-like ruins. My lids heavy the weight sensing blackness, closure, conclusion, for such a thing we call. Waves crush down upon my artistic strands of half tunnel-like roads that remembered so well before now and eternity to the next life. Aches, pains, failures, head down. Not the head up attitude looking forth, but set your unknown direction. Point at what's right, what's want, what's really there can you see the lines of lyrics telling a truthful direction that causes endless smiles of tearful dishonesty. Come to me when your weak. Come to me when tears shatter the ground from your cold cheeks that coanda effecting along your flush face into your glossy eyes. Come to me as you contemplate on things that you know you COULD overcome, you COULD find your strength, you could LIVE without a constant reminder. Strength comes from within discovering that its not others that release such power, but from within this over-bearing shadow of shielding through your layers of man-made material, deep through the flesh, profounding through the center point of a body that grants what the mind wishes. Barriers covering such pain that could be irritated with now vanishes. What's left is...tell me. I'm listening."
The past few days have been so hectic. And this week being only three days, I've suddenly felt that this break may or may not break my concentration. although, there is only one more week of school left after this weekend. so, this weekend i need to complete three 10-page papers. And I'm going snowboarding. I can do it.
"Directing my soul in ways that separate among flowing delta-like ruins. My lids heavy the weight sensing blackness, closure, conclusion, for such a thing we call. Waves crush down upon my artistic strands of half tunnel-like roads that remembered so well before now and eternity to the next life. Aches, pains, failures, head down. Not the head up attitude looking forth, but set your unknown direction. Point at what's right, what's want, what's really there can you see the lines of lyrics telling a truthful direction that causes endless smiles of tearful dishonesty. Come to me when your weak. Come to me when tears shatter the ground from your cold cheeks that coanda effecting along your flush face into your glossy eyes. Come to me as you contemplate on things that you know you COULD overcome, you COULD find your strength, you could LIVE without a constant reminder. Strength comes from within discovering that its not others that release such power, but from within this over-bearing shadow of shielding through your layers of man-made material, deep through the flesh, profounding through the center point of a body that grants what the mind wishes. Barriers covering such pain that could be irritated with now vanishes. What's left is...tell me. I'm listening."
Friday, November 22, 2002
Babyface feat. Jon B. - Someone To Love
Topic I (short) - kareoke videos are the weirdest videos of ALL time. the song could be like the most depressing, and you see a female in a two-piece smiling and jumping around. better yet, its a really happy and joyous song, and in the background its raining and people breaking up...tell me? why is it like this? maybe that's why they're put into the kareoke videos. they suck so bad that the only way to make money off of them is to put them in kareoke cd's. low budget videos for singalong music. people sing the words on the screen while neglecting the background story. ahhh! smart. the actors must be low budget too. that's their stardom. oh well. that's it. think about it.
Topic II (long) -be back tonight i just finished watching Nightmare on Elm Street (only the most terrifying movie when i was 5yrs. old) well, i'm sorry to say but i forgot what i was going to say for topic II. eh!? i take that back. there's this feeling i've been having because of people's sudden burst of assumption. its a common characteristic, i have it. but its a trait that i'm not familiar with when its about me and with a particular person. i'm kind of annoyed with it mainly because i don't know how to deal with it. at least i can define true friends because there are a certain few gentlemen and ladies that have seen such passive animosity.(contractive phrase, but so what) they haven't instigated such abuse i've taken. thanks you guys. i'm pretty sure you know who you are. and this whole big deal about a winter formal. i've been to five and i've had 4 different dates, in order to have one thing, fun. no pressure additives. just because of this, i don't even want to go. i have no other plans. i would have played along when i was like 20, but i'm 23. i'm going to grow up. my grades have improved because i've taken it serious. my intimate lifestyle should also be serious, not any of this silly bibble babble. i'm not putting no one down. ya'll can act your age. i know i'm still young, but i want to move forward in my life. i always hear, "damn, didn't you graduate yet?" out there. i guess i can finally answer this popular question.
Topic I (short) - kareoke videos are the weirdest videos of ALL time. the song could be like the most depressing, and you see a female in a two-piece smiling and jumping around. better yet, its a really happy and joyous song, and in the background its raining and people breaking up...tell me? why is it like this? maybe that's why they're put into the kareoke videos. they suck so bad that the only way to make money off of them is to put them in kareoke cd's. low budget videos for singalong music. people sing the words on the screen while neglecting the background story. ahhh! smart. the actors must be low budget too. that's their stardom. oh well. that's it. think about it.
Topic II (long) -
Thursday, November 21, 2002
Queen - We Are The Champions
"a brisk step of walking footsteps lead me into a endless road that tends to bring me to more forks yet leaves me with a knife deep into the soul of gorgeous tune harmony as it may seem to keep my smirk of simple happiness and ending no such hunger that i see forth when mouths are open stuffed with materials that consume to strengthen not what we think is good for the soul but wellness can be greater than longevity of survival which must succeed achieve obstacles that are hard to come by...
"...looking toward a sense that sounds so bright smells so delicious feels oh so fragile hears so harmony tastes like the concluding path that was not taken by a road that goes down toward the deepened profound sauces of efficient friendships although leaving day over night with a nightless sigh unknowing that people assume what they do not know and look at things the way they must see them but my attitude leaves such presence because i am more than what they all seem i am patient...
...reading you seem lost in the words that i say for there is just one long strand of sentence that may seem to go on toward the moonlit sky with streams of glitter across the heavens from high up above my hands flow down to my soul to feel your preciousness your shine your magnificent pleasure of hope toward a the morning sunrise toward the clear transparent rays my eyes do not deceive my radiance as gracefullness will never leave me i am not but one but share the liking of all."
"a brisk step of walking footsteps lead me into a endless road that tends to bring me to more forks yet leaves me with a knife deep into the soul of gorgeous tune harmony as it may seem to keep my smirk of simple happiness and ending no such hunger that i see forth when mouths are open stuffed with materials that consume to strengthen not what we think is good for the soul but wellness can be greater than longevity of survival which must succeed achieve obstacles that are hard to come by...
"...looking toward a sense that sounds so bright smells so delicious feels oh so fragile hears so harmony tastes like the concluding path that was not taken by a road that goes down toward the deepened profound sauces of efficient friendships although leaving day over night with a nightless sigh unknowing that people assume what they do not know and look at things the way they must see them but my attitude leaves such presence because i am more than what they all seem i am patient...
...reading you seem lost in the words that i say for there is just one long strand of sentence that may seem to go on toward the moonlit sky with streams of glitter across the heavens from high up above my hands flow down to my soul to feel your preciousness your shine your magnificent pleasure of hope toward a the morning sunrise toward the clear transparent rays my eyes do not deceive my radiance as gracefullness will never leave me i am not but one but share the liking of all."
Monday, November 18, 2002
Sitting in my living room in the dark
usually, throughout my day i find myself thinking about things that i'd like to put into my blogger journal. although, by the time i wish to enter an entry, i forget my train of thought at the time, i'm way too lazy to write about it anymore, and i end up typing up some rambling, senseless blah that i call written poetry of life. so, what do i think about? well, a couple of us, jerry, adan, irene and myself, visited Lutong Pinoy, my colleagues restaurant next Goldland off of Jacklin. it's a filipino restaurant with kareoke. yum the food was yum. (side comment: i decided to search around on Aivy & Marie's pages to learn how to strike text, but guess what, none of their recent work had none...BLAH!) so we finished our food at about 9pm, so we were able to go visit paulo because he was right around the corner. *well, actually like 3 or 4 exits down I680, that's besides the point* little did i know was that cathleen, my friend whose family owns the restaurant, wanted me to sing, along with my guests, before we left. so time went by and goodness, i couldn't find a single song. ok, maybe i brushed through 5 to10 songs i could possibly do, but maybe i was just trying to kill time. another surprise was that she sang. grrr. well, in politeness, i knew i HAD to sing now. not for her, but for the respect that you give a family when you're at their house...errr, restaurant. so i found two songs, You Are My Song & How Deep Is Your Love. oh well, i can't sing when i'm on the spot. but so what. i don't care. i had fun and we walked out of that place at 1030pm. yes...an hour and a half to find a song. or should i say, grow some balls. i figured out my major gpa, and its still not above a 3.0. damn i suck. i'm going to retake some classes, just so i can get rid of those C's. Out of 8 classes, i have 5 B's and 3 C's. i'm pathetic. well, after this semester, i'm hoping to receive 7 B's, 3 C's and an A. possible. hell yes. may 6B's, 3C's and 2 A's. i need 3.0 n up to gain an intern dammit. well enough of this babble bibble.
my friend, gina-bina, we've been friends for so long, she's like the girl i could possibly call ... anything. yet, she's far. almost 4 years now, and we've NEVER met. goes to show you how desperate i was to find friends 4 years ago. well, i find it normal. people find friends through many different ways. and four years ago, i used aol4.0/japan/pinoypinay21nup chatroom to find the most outrageous yet interesting friends. so gina!? i know you're reading this. you know my life and i know yours, you may think our friendship comes and goes, fades and appears, well, take it from the source, you're my special best pen-pal. *hugs* although we've never met, i'll always be there even when you're taking a detour going back home to oxnard from your frickin' man's house. i'm bitter because you go home so late. girlie, just stay over til morning. or like 6am-7am. that's what some people do at my house.
can u just tell that i don't want to sleep. oh well. happiness and confusion has withered into my life. may it stand strong to lead into hardships and awful other stuff.
usually, throughout my day i find myself thinking about things that i'd like to put into my blogger journal. although, by the time i wish to enter an entry, i forget my train of thought at the time, i'm way too lazy to write about it anymore, and i end up typing up some rambling, senseless blah that i call written poetry of life. so, what do i think about? well, a couple of us, jerry, adan, irene and myself, visited Lutong Pinoy, my colleagues restaurant next Goldland off of Jacklin. it's a filipino restaurant with kareoke. yum the food was yum. (side comment: i decided to search around on Aivy & Marie's pages to learn how to strike text, but guess what, none of their recent work had none...BLAH!) so we finished our food at about 9pm, so we were able to go visit paulo because he was right around the corner. *well, actually like 3 or 4 exits down I680, that's besides the point* little did i know was that cathleen, my friend whose family owns the restaurant, wanted me to sing, along with my guests, before we left. so time went by and goodness, i couldn't find a single song. ok, maybe i brushed through 5 to10 songs i could possibly do, but maybe i was just trying to kill time. another surprise was that she sang. grrr. well, in politeness, i knew i HAD to sing now. not for her, but for the respect that you give a family when you're at their house...errr, restaurant. so i found two songs, You Are My Song & How Deep Is Your Love. oh well, i can't sing when i'm on the spot. but so what. i don't care. i had fun and we walked out of that place at 1030pm. yes...an hour and a half to find a song. or should i say, grow some balls. i figured out my major gpa, and its still not above a 3.0. damn i suck. i'm going to retake some classes, just so i can get rid of those C's. Out of 8 classes, i have 5 B's and 3 C's. i'm pathetic. well, after this semester, i'm hoping to receive 7 B's, 3 C's and an A. possible. hell yes. may 6B's, 3C's and 2 A's. i need 3.0 n up to gain an intern dammit. well enough of this babble bibble.
my friend, gina-bina, we've been friends for so long, she's like the girl i could possibly call ... anything. yet, she's far. almost 4 years now, and we've NEVER met. goes to show you how desperate i was to find friends 4 years ago. well, i find it normal. people find friends through many different ways. and four years ago, i used aol4.0/japan/pinoypinay21nup chatroom to find the most outrageous yet interesting friends. so gina!? i know you're reading this. you know my life and i know yours, you may think our friendship comes and goes, fades and appears, well, take it from the source, you're my special best pen-pal. *hugs* although we've never met, i'll always be there even when you're taking a detour going back home to oxnard from your frickin' man's house. i'm bitter because you go home so late. girlie, just stay over til morning. or like 6am-7am. that's what some people do at my house.
can u just tell that i don't want to sleep. oh well. happiness and confusion has withered into my life. may it stand strong to lead into hardships and awful other stuff.
Sunday, November 17, 2002
Boyz II Men - Doin' Just Fine - or Am I? I just clicked on the akbayan website and clicked on games...played Simon and reached 18 points. hehe.
"my eyes lids drop slowly typing out words that will soon be turned into meaningless thoughts of imperfection. my arms reach to click and clock in each character that you see forth. i need not know what it all means because the definition of this souls life is far-fetched. sometimes i look around and realize after so many years that i am being watched. my self taught belief that people don't really care what happens to you unless it makes a slight bit of attitude and mood change in the presence. my ligaments of under feel free leaving such swift air a tingle of irritation. my careless back aches continuously day by day leaving agony that i must bear with such a pain that attacks my self wit and keeps a squirm. i close my eyes and listen to words that seem more meaningful when lyrics flow into my ear saying such words that seem meaninful to everyone. my mind is falling into that wastefulness. the one we demand to see is but fictious in my mind. over and over i see such a dream and feel the belief in it all. i am not crazy, i am not hallucinating. i'm just tired."
"my eyes lids drop slowly typing out words that will soon be turned into meaningless thoughts of imperfection. my arms reach to click and clock in each character that you see forth. i need not know what it all means because the definition of this souls life is far-fetched. sometimes i look around and realize after so many years that i am being watched. my self taught belief that people don't really care what happens to you unless it makes a slight bit of attitude and mood change in the presence. my ligaments of under feel free leaving such swift air a tingle of irritation. my careless back aches continuously day by day leaving agony that i must bear with such a pain that attacks my self wit and keeps a squirm. i close my eyes and listen to words that seem more meaningful when lyrics flow into my ear saying such words that seem meaninful to everyone. my mind is falling into that wastefulness. the one we demand to see is but fictious in my mind. over and over i see such a dream and feel the belief in it all. i am not crazy, i am not hallucinating. i'm just tired."
Thursday, November 14, 2002
Familiar beats and lyrics from DJ Nice & DJ Smooth - Sometimes I Rhyme Slow
So my JVC camera is finally fixed. damn you TDK and Sony tapes. messin' up my camera. That's my personal shpiel for the time being. Think about this...
"life jumps around like a jack rabbit attempting to cross a two lane highway. a friend tells me that school and days upon school move as fast as a pucking heading straight into the back of the net. the numbers of birth rise like those toy rockets that we once urged to get and watch it get lost in the myst of sky. the speed of a certain 741 operational amplifier that encountering is non-inverting, yet finding my way in life is so shadowed. continuing an aimless walk down a fun path, down a curvature, down the ups and downs. finishing up with the problems and issues that trouble my identity. my thoughts jump like that previous rabbit. my life is furry, yet caged like an animal. let me out. life!? let me go. why must it go down this road? regrets don't come often in my life. the last regret was...can't remember. i don't have any. let life live the way you want it, i tell myself. though many entrances of ships may take a big step into a passion that is so heart warming."
for once i'm going to tell you what this means. well, as you all may know, i'm graduating soon. and with my last two midterms being passed with flying colors, that means that i know i will have a better chance of REALLY graduating May 2003. as if i'm distancing myself from a family that i once, and forever will be calling an Embracing in Friendship. This entry goes to EVERYONE i've met through Akbayan Fall 1997 to present. i tell myself too that i won't try to make friends with so many of you wonderful people so i can pull myself away from that intimate feeling of friendship. i guess you can say i never felt family friendship til i came here. it did take a while. i remember the Xmas break of December 2000-January 2001. i broke down because i was SO alone. i sat at home in sf wondering where my lonely life was going. from then on, i remember that was the day i decided to do what i do now, hang out.
So my JVC camera is finally fixed. damn you TDK and Sony tapes. messin' up my camera. That's my personal shpiel for the time being. Think about this...
"life jumps around like a jack rabbit attempting to cross a two lane highway. a friend tells me that school and days upon school move as fast as a pucking heading straight into the back of the net. the numbers of birth rise like those toy rockets that we once urged to get and watch it get lost in the myst of sky. the speed of a certain 741 operational amplifier that encountering is non-inverting, yet finding my way in life is so shadowed. continuing an aimless walk down a fun path, down a curvature, down the ups and downs. finishing up with the problems and issues that trouble my identity. my thoughts jump like that previous rabbit. my life is furry, yet caged like an animal. let me out. life!? let me go. why must it go down this road? regrets don't come often in my life. the last regret was...can't remember. i don't have any. let life live the way you want it, i tell myself. though many entrances of ships may take a big step into a passion that is so heart warming."
for once i'm going to tell you what this means. well, as you all may know, i'm graduating soon. and with my last two midterms being passed with flying colors, that means that i know i will have a better chance of REALLY graduating May 2003. as if i'm distancing myself from a family that i once, and forever will be calling an Embracing in Friendship. This entry goes to EVERYONE i've met through Akbayan Fall 1997 to present. i tell myself too that i won't try to make friends with so many of you wonderful people so i can pull myself away from that intimate feeling of friendship. i guess you can say i never felt family friendship til i came here. it did take a while. i remember the Xmas break of December 2000-January 2001. i broke down because i was SO alone. i sat at home in sf wondering where my lonely life was going. from then on, i remember that was the day i decided to do what i do now, hang out.
Tuesday, November 12, 2002
Contemplating with the background song All The Things I Should Have Done by K-Ci & Jojo - all this studying pays off...i hope
Woooooooooooooohooooooooooooooooooo No more tech162 midterms. Hopefully I received a decent B on that midterm today.
Oh? You wish to know why I've lagged on my blogger. Well, it's a long story. It starts on a calm night, not so long ago...
PG&E fixed the terminal wire that went from outside to my house. Long story eh?
I need to rest...
Woooooooooooooohooooooooooooooooooo No more tech162 midterms. Hopefully I received a decent B on that midterm today.
Oh? You wish to know why I've lagged on my blogger. Well, it's a long story. It starts on a calm night, not so long ago...
PG&E fixed the terminal wire that went from outside to my house. Long story eh?
I need to rest...
Monday, November 11, 2002
Attitude: finally done with this STUPID paper. Thanks for the help #5
"Listen to my words because you'll only hear them once. Understand and contemplate on my writings because they mean but thousands of meanings upon senseless ways that we all see what each other would want to see, but only think of things and ways and meanings that only mean but the opposite. The caress of touch over brisk under breaths of bumps that look further than just plain gooses. wrapped up in a blanket of warmth, my body lies by a meaningful object. the full of stars in the endless night, the moon captivating yet another memoir, another chance to make events truthful, honest, and...romantic. sentences of history, paragraphs of rambling on about almost nothing, just the sound of giggle, the cries of not tears, but of stories that make the fogged up ways of vision a clear path to happiness. the green dome of life vanishes away from sight and appears again as an eating frenzy of food. the attraction of rules whispers away as a transparent dream. the images that seam through runs straight into a horse. the pain, the feeling of agony of defeat, yet not defeated, but moved on to another era. joy. another feeling of what has been sent to me by an unknown force. can i be so lucky? can i be as unlucky? can it be fate? can destiny find a way to make my living days worth living. am i not ready to go? accepting the great couragous ailments of hunger given by noise of signs. be gone such an event to open towards anew."
"Listen to my words because you'll only hear them once. Understand and contemplate on my writings because they mean but thousands of meanings upon senseless ways that we all see what each other would want to see, but only think of things and ways and meanings that only mean but the opposite. The caress of touch over brisk under breaths of bumps that look further than just plain gooses. wrapped up in a blanket of warmth, my body lies by a meaningful object. the full of stars in the endless night, the moon captivating yet another memoir, another chance to make events truthful, honest, and...romantic. sentences of history, paragraphs of rambling on about almost nothing, just the sound of giggle, the cries of not tears, but of stories that make the fogged up ways of vision a clear path to happiness. the green dome of life vanishes away from sight and appears again as an eating frenzy of food. the attraction of rules whispers away as a transparent dream. the images that seam through runs straight into a horse. the pain, the feeling of agony of defeat, yet not defeated, but moved on to another era. joy. another feeling of what has been sent to me by an unknown force. can i be so lucky? can i be as unlucky? can it be fate? can destiny find a way to make my living days worth living. am i not ready to go? accepting the great couragous ailments of hunger given by noise of signs. be gone such an event to open towards anew."
Thursday, November 07, 2002
"Motivate me..." - A. R. T. C. - What I hear when I hear this?
::"The greatest belief strongly never felt is present,
The greatest anticipation strongly never felt is present,
The greatest rush of air strongly never felt is present,
The greatest mind to mind strongly never felt is present."
::"My words will explore the mind, flow through your passion streams,
unleash a gush of revealing sighs over sighs over sighs."
::"The greatest belief strongly never felt is present,
The greatest anticipation strongly never felt is present,
The greatest rush of air strongly never felt is present,
The greatest mind to mind strongly never felt is present."
::"My words will explore the mind, flow through your passion streams,
unleash a gush of revealing sighs over sighs over sighs."
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