My goodness, I thought I forgot my username and password for this thing
So the night of hanging out with the homies and bebeh hit off with the bestest. I enjoyed seeing everyone and hanging out with the usuals, as usual. Drinking with the people who I thought I would never drink with - Irene. I had a feeling she had low-tolerance. If you haven't seen, check out bebeh's domain, aivy-bear, and you'll see some of the pictures that we took. So, as some of you may know already, Aivy and I share a eight hundred square foot studio in San Francisco, off of California St. It is dope. She was so surprised when Edison and I brought her along, pretending to look for an ice cream shop. Even though it was about three days before our big ONE, I couldn't keep it inside me no more. Mainly because, if I kept the secret from her for the next three days, then she would get madder and madder at me, and you never know what may happen. Well, anyway, we checked it out, and its been over a week at that place...
So, I finally slept there alone, last night, and it wasn't as bad as the first night there. A majority of my belongings are there, including my PS2. If my console wasn't there, I'd die. No internet, no common phone line, no cable, no nothing. Just regular television, thank goodness for UPN, and Playstation 2 keep me busy. It is like living in San Jose again, except there's no one else there. I share the house with six other residents, but I see them walking in and out of the upstairs places...
I'm excited to see what happens with place when the carpet is in, I have a laptop, internet connection, and digital cable. Aivy and I will survive...
COME VISIT US!
note: having a heater helps a lot during the winter. Brrr!
Friday, December 19, 2003
Wednesday, December 17, 2003
Today...
...I woke up with a sore lower back.
...scratched a dollar scratcher and won another ticket.
...I cried.
...played Dark Cloud.
...didn't have work.
...played with Chipbubu.
...packed up my car a little bit more.
...hugged Bebeh.
...drove to San Francisco.
...ate stuffed chicken.
...spilled coffee on Bebeh.
...chatted on AIM with Tediocarm.
...found out that Tigas Ng Ulo was away from his computer because he was in the bathroom.
...watched the San Jose Sharks blow a 2-1 lead and lose in OT.
...played with Armando.
...watched an episode of Roseanne where Jackie got pregnant.
...I woke up with a sore lower back.
...scratched a dollar scratcher and won another ticket.
...I cried.
...played Dark Cloud.
...didn't have work.
...played with Chipbubu.
...packed up my car a little bit more.
...hugged Bebeh.
...drove to San Francisco.
...ate stuffed chicken.
...spilled coffee on Bebeh.
...chatted on AIM with Tediocarm.
...found out that Tigas Ng Ulo was away from his computer because he was in the bathroom.
...watched the San Jose Sharks blow a 2-1 lead and lose in OT.
...played with Armando.
...watched an episode of Roseanne where Jackie got pregnant.
Sunday, December 14, 2003
One year ago...
The greatest part about relationships is the element of anticipation. You never know what's going to come up next. Especially when one whole year has passed by and you never saw it coming. Actually, every single day I saw what hope can bring to two people. It is the greatest feeling when everyday for nearly a whole year is like the first day you get together. So, in short, Happy 1 Year Anniversay to Aivy and Joey. I love you Aivy.
note: Never give up. The struggle, pain and happiness is worth everything when this figment of love is involved.
The greatest part about relationships is the element of anticipation. You never know what's going to come up next. Especially when one whole year has passed by and you never saw it coming. Actually, every single day I saw what hope can bring to two people. It is the greatest feeling when everyday for nearly a whole year is like the first day you get together. So, in short, Happy 1 Year Anniversay to Aivy and Joey. I love you Aivy.
note: Never give up. The struggle, pain and happiness is worth everything when this figment of love is involved.
Wednesday, December 10, 2003
"I want a box of Cargo Cosmetics."
The gifts that I've purchased for this year's Christmas celebration has been put into much thought. I wasn't sure what to get some people, so I decided to do what I usually don't do, which is split with the brothers. Getting a great gift from three son's is better than three casual gifts, I guess. I don't know though. I enjoy getting multiple gifts than one big one, unless it's a laptop, desktop computer, xbox with helka games, or a brand new truck. I don't know. What the hell, beggars can't be chosers, so I say that whatever you get for Chrismakkuh(The OC), take it into sentiment and be glad for the season of giving, not getting.
Johnny Depp has always been one of my favorite actors in the business. Let's name some: Edward Scirrorhands, Benny and Joon, Crybaby, and Blow. All great movies. I want to collect all his movies on dvd. That'll be my THING for 2004. Along with building my PS2 games collection. I now own NHL2002, 2003, 2004, Socom 1 & 2, Kingdom Hearts, Enter the Matrix, Dark Cloud, and Rygar. Wow, a whopping NINE games. I want to own Final Fantasy X just for the heck of it. In the near future, I'll own The Sims 2, Final Fantasy X-2, Castlevania - Lament of Innocence, Fatal Frame 2, and The Simpson's - Hit 'n Run. Until anything worth purchasing comes out, I'll just be playing whatever I have. Games are fun, but being a Gamer is much better. I've achieved the Glow many times for many, many games. Legend of Zelda Series(minus Link's Awakening), including Ocarina of Time, Mike Tyson's Punch Out, Castlevania 1 & 2, Mega Man 1-3, Kid Icarus, Mario Kart 64, Super Mario Bros. 2 & 3, Mario World, etc. Beating games is worth the time playing. I also beat Metal Gear Solid 2 in four hours. I beat Halo in 7 hours. Max Payne in 4 hours. Legend of Zelda 3 in 4 hours. I love video games. Metroid Prime would have been quick, but I didn't own the game console.
note: helka (adv.) 1. great number of. 2. extremely or very much of. The San Jose Sharks game was helka fun to watch. latin: akleh.
The gifts that I've purchased for this year's Christmas celebration has been put into much thought. I wasn't sure what to get some people, so I decided to do what I usually don't do, which is split with the brothers. Getting a great gift from three son's is better than three casual gifts, I guess. I don't know though. I enjoy getting multiple gifts than one big one, unless it's a laptop, desktop computer, xbox with helka games, or a brand new truck. I don't know. What the hell, beggars can't be chosers, so I say that whatever you get for Chrismakkuh(The OC), take it into sentiment and be glad for the season of giving, not getting.
Johnny Depp has always been one of my favorite actors in the business. Let's name some: Edward Scirrorhands, Benny and Joon, Crybaby, and Blow. All great movies. I want to collect all his movies on dvd. That'll be my THING for 2004. Along with building my PS2 games collection. I now own NHL2002, 2003, 2004, Socom 1 & 2, Kingdom Hearts, Enter the Matrix, Dark Cloud, and Rygar. Wow, a whopping NINE games. I want to own Final Fantasy X just for the heck of it. In the near future, I'll own The Sims 2, Final Fantasy X-2, Castlevania - Lament of Innocence, Fatal Frame 2, and The Simpson's - Hit 'n Run. Until anything worth purchasing comes out, I'll just be playing whatever I have. Games are fun, but being a Gamer is much better. I've achieved the Glow many times for many, many games. Legend of Zelda Series(minus Link's Awakening), including Ocarina of Time, Mike Tyson's Punch Out, Castlevania 1 & 2, Mega Man 1-3, Kid Icarus, Mario Kart 64, Super Mario Bros. 2 & 3, Mario World, etc. Beating games is worth the time playing. I also beat Metal Gear Solid 2 in four hours. I beat Halo in 7 hours. Max Payne in 4 hours. Legend of Zelda 3 in 4 hours. I love video games. Metroid Prime would have been quick, but I didn't own the game console.
note: helka (adv.) 1. great number of. 2. extremely or very much of. The San Jose Sharks game was helka fun to watch. latin: akleh.
Monday, December 08, 2003
laughing and sarcasm is what the world needs
The DJ's at the formal were the BESTEST!!!!
Las Vegas for New Year's Eve ya'll. Who's down?
Aivy, I miss you. Barrelmen- Paulo, Vesper, Aris, Adan, I miss ya'll already. Olympus, miss you nigs. Jonas, spoon buddy, much love. Thor-Cay, living a block away, still miss you.
6 More Days Until The Big One Year Anniversary. What do I do?
I'm happy because...
I have an incredibly wonderful girlfriend.
The San Jose Sharks are kicking everyone's boo-tay.
I have mucho BUKAS.
My own apartment is slowly, but surely coming into existence.
Kawawa, Chipbubu and Armando.
All the Bubu's of the world.
I have Rygar for PS2.
I'm in love.
Work is no longer stressing me out like before.
note: What is wrong with this picture?
The DJ's at the formal were the BESTEST!!!!
Las Vegas for New Year's Eve ya'll. Who's down?
Aivy, I miss you. Barrelmen- Paulo, Vesper, Aris, Adan, I miss ya'll already. Olympus, miss you nigs. Jonas, spoon buddy, much love. Thor-Cay, living a block away, still miss you.
6 More Days Until The Big One Year Anniversary. What do I do?
I'm happy because...
I have an incredibly wonderful girlfriend.
The San Jose Sharks are kicking everyone's boo-tay.
I have mucho BUKAS.
My own apartment is slowly, but surely coming into existence.
Kawawa, Chipbubu and Armando.
All the Bubu's of the world.
I have Rygar for PS2.
I'm in love.
Work is no longer stressing me out like before.
note: What is wrong with this picture?
Sunday, December 07, 2003
I love my Bubu's
I'm glad a majority of you people's are happy with the outcome of the Tri-Formal. And Alexis, everything seemed to fall into place that really needed to. I'm pretty sure this will be the last possible time this type of event may happen...possibly. It was good to see everyone again, as usual. I got to the Convention Center about nine o'clock and couldn't find any open parking lots, so I parked, along with RJ and Tawny, in the outside, back parking lot near the outside skating rink. The walk around to the Hilton entrance was the longest, we should've taken the Marriott entrance since it was right there. Oh well.
The first person that acknowledged my presence when I walked to the big darkish room was Ted's "Joey!!!" The strange thing was the position of his seat on his table, his back should've faced me when he saw me. Once again, Oh well.
The evening went well and the fact that my date and I were missing for a good amount of the time after dinner was completely fair to say that, we DO what all couples do when we're dressed up. We...TOOK PICTURES. Get your minds out of the gutters and walk into the porn store already.
This formal reminded me of last year's, besides the fact that my date was there first, instead of me being there already and she coming later on. Along with the whole universe where everything is perfect, we had the most memorable night that as couple approaching one year could get. Love is amazing.
note: my notes should be more meaningful. no they shouldn't!
I'm glad a majority of you people's are happy with the outcome of the Tri-Formal. And Alexis, everything seemed to fall into place that really needed to. I'm pretty sure this will be the last possible time this type of event may happen...possibly. It was good to see everyone again, as usual. I got to the Convention Center about nine o'clock and couldn't find any open parking lots, so I parked, along with RJ and Tawny, in the outside, back parking lot near the outside skating rink. The walk around to the Hilton entrance was the longest, we should've taken the Marriott entrance since it was right there. Oh well.
The first person that acknowledged my presence when I walked to the big darkish room was Ted's "Joey!!!" The strange thing was the position of his seat on his table, his back should've faced me when he saw me. Once again, Oh well.
The evening went well and the fact that my date and I were missing for a good amount of the time after dinner was completely fair to say that, we DO what all couples do when we're dressed up. We...TOOK PICTURES. Get your minds out of the gutters and walk into the porn store already.
This formal reminded me of last year's, besides the fact that my date was there first, instead of me being there already and she coming later on. Along with the whole universe where everything is perfect, we had the most memorable night that as couple approaching one year could get. Love is amazing.
note: my notes should be more meaningful. no they shouldn't!
Saturday, December 06, 2003
Zzzzzzz
I'm always tired. I'm sleepy when I wake up. I'm exhausted when I get home from work. I neglect my bebeh when I'm with her because I'm tired. Work takes a lot out of me. Thinking takes a lot out of me. It's incredible how much brain wave activity can make your body worthless of energy. When studying, the inner brain cornea takes pleasure in using that flow of blood to rush your whole body into becoming useless. Playing video games is tedious too. I'm just always tired.
Almost a year.
Listening to Oscar G. & Ralph Falcon - Dark Beat
The formal will be fun. The night will be like a reunion for me with my Akbayan people's and such.
Last Thursday, December 4th, 2003, was the first Sushi Night, where Aivy, Edison, and myself introduce the evening with Sushi tasting at a random San Francisco Japanese Restaurant. The weekly chosen venue was Nagano's, Geary and Arguello. Edison ordered the Nigiri combo platter, which consisted of twelve sushi that he can savor, yet shared a la carte with the other tasters. Aivy and I ordered the Philly Roll, Nagano Maki, Oregon Roll, and Spider Roll. Each had it's expertise in tasteful pleasures AND oh so delicious spices. We filled our dipping plates with wasabi and soy sauce and preceded. I enjoyed the sushi. The Oregon could have been better, but out of the four, not my favorite. The Philly roll didn't much please my tastebuds, but I wasn't dissatisfied. Spider Roll was different for me, somewhat, but I had no comment. The specialty plate, Nagano Maki, was very worth the cost. I can still taste the sushi in my stomach. The presentation wasn't the dull, plate and sushi deal. The cook took his time to make the plate decorative. The time put into a dish is always worth a plus. Overall, out of 10, I rate Nagano Sushi an 8.
note: You can get full off of Sushi only!
I'm always tired. I'm sleepy when I wake up. I'm exhausted when I get home from work. I neglect my bebeh when I'm with her because I'm tired. Work takes a lot out of me. Thinking takes a lot out of me. It's incredible how much brain wave activity can make your body worthless of energy. When studying, the inner brain cornea takes pleasure in using that flow of blood to rush your whole body into becoming useless. Playing video games is tedious too. I'm just always tired.
Almost a year.
Listening to Oscar G. & Ralph Falcon - Dark Beat
The formal will be fun. The night will be like a reunion for me with my Akbayan people's and such.
Last Thursday, December 4th, 2003, was the first Sushi Night, where Aivy, Edison, and myself introduce the evening with Sushi tasting at a random San Francisco Japanese Restaurant. The weekly chosen venue was Nagano's, Geary and Arguello. Edison ordered the Nigiri combo platter, which consisted of twelve sushi that he can savor, yet shared a la carte with the other tasters. Aivy and I ordered the Philly Roll, Nagano Maki, Oregon Roll, and Spider Roll. Each had it's expertise in tasteful pleasures AND oh so delicious spices. We filled our dipping plates with wasabi and soy sauce and preceded. I enjoyed the sushi. The Oregon could have been better, but out of the four, not my favorite. The Philly roll didn't much please my tastebuds, but I wasn't dissatisfied. Spider Roll was different for me, somewhat, but I had no comment. The specialty plate, Nagano Maki, was very worth the cost. I can still taste the sushi in my stomach. The presentation wasn't the dull, plate and sushi deal. The cook took his time to make the plate decorative. The time put into a dish is always worth a plus. Overall, out of 10, I rate Nagano Sushi an 8.
note: You can get full off of Sushi only!
Tuesday, December 02, 2003
Proud & Pride
As the lights fade, everyone begins to slowly exit the stage. Jino stays on facing the audience.
JINO
"My verdict does not surprise me. Pulling strings, shortcuts by means of bribary, blackmail, threats. Guess what, that’s the lifestyle sometimes. Let me make my message clearer. Ninang once told me that such responsibility benefits great rewards…and superiority. She was never the type of person to backstab a friend or any type of business. Her way of the trade is now my way. I’ve seen the advantages, and dealt with the disadvantages. You can trust every single person that comes into your life. My grasp, my direction, my on-going success to the top will ascend. Others will not dare claw at my feet. They shall not pull me into that unfortunate lifestyle. Once at the top, I will help others out of the bucket, expanding this family, the Rosario family. (pause) One by one, my power, my loyal guards will see me as their uncle…their Don…their Ninong."
For some reason, this final monologue inspires myself. I don't know how it makes others feel, but with the right motivation, the attitude, the actions, it is what it is.
As the lights fade, everyone begins to slowly exit the stage. Jino stays on facing the audience.
JINO
"My verdict does not surprise me. Pulling strings, shortcuts by means of bribary, blackmail, threats. Guess what, that’s the lifestyle sometimes. Let me make my message clearer. Ninang once told me that such responsibility benefits great rewards…and superiority. She was never the type of person to backstab a friend or any type of business. Her way of the trade is now my way. I’ve seen the advantages, and dealt with the disadvantages. You can trust every single person that comes into your life. My grasp, my direction, my on-going success to the top will ascend. Others will not dare claw at my feet. They shall not pull me into that unfortunate lifestyle. Once at the top, I will help others out of the bucket, expanding this family, the Rosario family. (pause) One by one, my power, my loyal guards will see me as their uncle…their Don…their Ninong."
For some reason, this final monologue inspires myself. I don't know how it makes others feel, but with the right motivation, the attitude, the actions, it is what it is.
Friday, November 28, 2003
Why follow your life when you can easily shadow someone else's life?
I got this topic watching a glimpse of 'Freshmen Diaries' on Showtime. The episode just showed this poster that inspired me to write. I used to believe that I was meant to watch and study someone's life and live as they had lived. Without noticing it, through high school and the beginning of college, I noticed my lifestyle was portraying someone else's life. There was nothing wrong with it, I just realized that it really wasn't who I was. I struggled to make things happen that I thought I could take on. Thinking that running or facilitating a group of college students and gaining their support was just an illusion. Gaining was the easy part. Their motivation to be as dedicated as I was was no where close. Some say I ran the whole show of things by my lonesome, but there was support spewing through the cracks. Growing up with individuals who make differences in people's lives is what I wanted to do. After experiencing my stresses and frustrations for a few beginning weeks, I finally knew that I can't be what I'm not. I'm going to pace myself, I'm going to do what I can to make THIS successful. I don't want to acknowledge the fact that I brought back what was a dying species, but when will I ever feel glorified in this sake.
I became president because I felt it was my time. Even though no one ran against me, I believe I would have won if I had an adversary. I had the most dedication and determination at that time. People knew it, friends knew it, and most certainly I knew it. For some reason, you don't just get elected at some time, you take on the responsibility no matter the negative or positive outcomes may come. My cabinet consisted of at least twelve individuals. My cabinet meetings had at most six to eight people show up at each of them. Three of the six general meetings were just cabinet, and the other three consisted of no more than four non-cabinet members. The walls around me began to collapse, while the ground and foundation under me started to shatter. This moment, I knew that I wasn't put into this position to follow someone else's ways, traditions, ideas.
With the thought of a cancelled PCN in 1999, I knew it couldn't happen. With the limited ammunition, or cabinet, I put all effort into the anticipated show that would be called PCN 2000 From The Outside In. Let me tell you something that no one after me really knows. The reason Akbayan began to fail was because during a certain term, the cabinet had become split between socialists and political activists. Looking at today's cabinets, there is no real conflict, there is just the somewhat balance of both sides. All we needed was balance.
I started PCN workshops in late February, with a majority of these people guys. At that time, I was looking at the full moon sitting against someone's car thinking to myself that I can make anything happen. My Singkil prince, Juan Juan, was standing next to me and asked me, "What's up with PCN, is it going to happen?" The honest response that I gave him was, "By the time we see the next full moon, you will see us practicing exactly like it was back during PCN 1998. The next full moon came up at the end of March and we choreographed Singkil, along with eight other cultural dances, a hiphop routine, and a less than decent skit. I know the show was probably rated a 1 of 5, but if this show never occurred, there possibly wouldn't be one today. There would be no Akbayan.
Pilipino Cultural Nights bring together old and new friends that quite possibly strenghen the next year ahead. That year we had a cast of about forty individuals. Each person took part in each aspect of the show- dancing, acting, backstage, and modern. That year opened up the eyes of future individuals that become involved in the next cabinet. Of course we somehow broke even, but we just needed the right motivation.
Note: I follow my life, whose life will you follow?
I got this topic watching a glimpse of 'Freshmen Diaries' on Showtime. The episode just showed this poster that inspired me to write. I used to believe that I was meant to watch and study someone's life and live as they had lived. Without noticing it, through high school and the beginning of college, I noticed my lifestyle was portraying someone else's life. There was nothing wrong with it, I just realized that it really wasn't who I was. I struggled to make things happen that I thought I could take on. Thinking that running or facilitating a group of college students and gaining their support was just an illusion. Gaining was the easy part. Their motivation to be as dedicated as I was was no where close. Some say I ran the whole show of things by my lonesome, but there was support spewing through the cracks. Growing up with individuals who make differences in people's lives is what I wanted to do. After experiencing my stresses and frustrations for a few beginning weeks, I finally knew that I can't be what I'm not. I'm going to pace myself, I'm going to do what I can to make THIS successful. I don't want to acknowledge the fact that I brought back what was a dying species, but when will I ever feel glorified in this sake.
I became president because I felt it was my time. Even though no one ran against me, I believe I would have won if I had an adversary. I had the most dedication and determination at that time. People knew it, friends knew it, and most certainly I knew it. For some reason, you don't just get elected at some time, you take on the responsibility no matter the negative or positive outcomes may come. My cabinet consisted of at least twelve individuals. My cabinet meetings had at most six to eight people show up at each of them. Three of the six general meetings were just cabinet, and the other three consisted of no more than four non-cabinet members. The walls around me began to collapse, while the ground and foundation under me started to shatter. This moment, I knew that I wasn't put into this position to follow someone else's ways, traditions, ideas.
With the thought of a cancelled PCN in 1999, I knew it couldn't happen. With the limited ammunition, or cabinet, I put all effort into the anticipated show that would be called PCN 2000 From The Outside In. Let me tell you something that no one after me really knows. The reason Akbayan began to fail was because during a certain term, the cabinet had become split between socialists and political activists. Looking at today's cabinets, there is no real conflict, there is just the somewhat balance of both sides. All we needed was balance.
I started PCN workshops in late February, with a majority of these people guys. At that time, I was looking at the full moon sitting against someone's car thinking to myself that I can make anything happen. My Singkil prince, Juan Juan, was standing next to me and asked me, "What's up with PCN, is it going to happen?" The honest response that I gave him was, "By the time we see the next full moon, you will see us practicing exactly like it was back during PCN 1998. The next full moon came up at the end of March and we choreographed Singkil, along with eight other cultural dances, a hiphop routine, and a less than decent skit. I know the show was probably rated a 1 of 5, but if this show never occurred, there possibly wouldn't be one today. There would be no Akbayan.
Pilipino Cultural Nights bring together old and new friends that quite possibly strenghen the next year ahead. That year we had a cast of about forty individuals. Each person took part in each aspect of the show- dancing, acting, backstage, and modern. That year opened up the eyes of future individuals that become involved in the next cabinet. Of course we somehow broke even, but we just needed the right motivation.
Note: I follow my life, whose life will you follow?
Tuesday, November 18, 2003
Memories are all I leave you
October 1997
Sitting in the car with Edison, Melvin, and Francis as we leave for my very first Los Angeles trip with my friends. I still have the video footage that I took during my weekend there. As a freshmen, this experience was thrilling, exciting, and eventful. The first night, the four of us shared a room with four other people. The moment we put down our baggage, we are already in the car heading on over to other hotels. It was crazy back then, with the lobby of the hotels filled with filipinos, drinking, lounging, and just having a good time. It's not like nowadays that they trap you in your room and you have quiet time. Things change and stay the same, I'm just glad I was there when the craziness was alive. Like it was before my twenty-first birthday, I was the non-alcoholic. I fell distant from my friends and landed myself into a room full of females that offered me some drinks. I was just struck on how friendly people were when newcomers showed up. Just a few months before, the only people or group of people that I hung out with were guys. It happens when I'm the shy type at an all-male high school. From this point, I knew that college was going to be a lot different than high school. Unfortunately, all the females that I was a tiny bit attracted to in college rejected me. Until one day, a particular female destroyed the shielding that made me invinsible.
October 2002 Uncensored
We had arrived from our little trip to Downtown Disney, and I found myself walking back to the hotel alone. Through the back door, I stopped at the end of the 100's hallway - the exact hallway where Cal State Hayward was residing in. Earlier that day, I had been invited to come chill at Room 151. I had no idea that this choice would lead me to where I am today. I took one step toward my room, and then took a step back and looked down the hallway. I thought to myself - Joey, this is your last friendship games, leave the realities of life and have fun. Next thing you see is my hand knocking on that new open door that we call choices in life.
November 2003
Where would I be if I took the blue pill? Who cares, I took the red, for Hayward, pill and I'm enjoying what I have in life. I have no regrets. And I thank you, Aivy. I love you forever.
note: Don't let life control you. You control your fate and what happens next. Everything is worth the fight.
October 1997
Sitting in the car with Edison, Melvin, and Francis as we leave for my very first Los Angeles trip with my friends. I still have the video footage that I took during my weekend there. As a freshmen, this experience was thrilling, exciting, and eventful. The first night, the four of us shared a room with four other people. The moment we put down our baggage, we are already in the car heading on over to other hotels. It was crazy back then, with the lobby of the hotels filled with filipinos, drinking, lounging, and just having a good time. It's not like nowadays that they trap you in your room and you have quiet time. Things change and stay the same, I'm just glad I was there when the craziness was alive. Like it was before my twenty-first birthday, I was the non-alcoholic. I fell distant from my friends and landed myself into a room full of females that offered me some drinks. I was just struck on how friendly people were when newcomers showed up. Just a few months before, the only people or group of people that I hung out with were guys. It happens when I'm the shy type at an all-male high school. From this point, I knew that college was going to be a lot different than high school. Unfortunately, all the females that I was a tiny bit attracted to in college rejected me. Until one day, a particular female destroyed the shielding that made me invinsible.
October 2002 Uncensored
We had arrived from our little trip to Downtown Disney, and I found myself walking back to the hotel alone. Through the back door, I stopped at the end of the 100's hallway - the exact hallway where Cal State Hayward was residing in. Earlier that day, I had been invited to come chill at Room 151. I had no idea that this choice would lead me to where I am today. I took one step toward my room, and then took a step back and looked down the hallway. I thought to myself - Joey, this is your last friendship games, leave the realities of life and have fun. Next thing you see is my hand knocking on that new open door that we call choices in life.
November 2003
Where would I be if I took the blue pill? Who cares, I took the red, for Hayward, pill and I'm enjoying what I have in life. I have no regrets. And I thank you, Aivy. I love you forever.
note: Don't let life control you. You control your fate and what happens next. Everything is worth the fight.
Monday, November 17, 2003
Listening to Atlantic Starr - Secret Lovers
The greatest part of my life involves the people close to me. Would you like to know who those people are? Well, I believe it's about time that you people are credited and acknowledged. Aivy is my girlfriend who I have loved and still love for many months now. She is there for me when she doesn't even know just being there makes me happy. She is always appreciated because she knows who I am when I don't. Edison is my bestfriend who I have known since our penises were about an inch long. His cock was probably like a belt when we were in 5th Grade. Whoa! Paulo who should be Reckanoized for all his attention toward a friend like me. What did I do deserve such happiness from one single person. My family has always been there for me, and I have always tried to be there for them. Am I still there? Of course. You three have always been there when I just needed to chill or kick it. Not saying that no one else has been there, but damn...
Sorry to cut this short, but I want to go play Socom 2 online.
AIVY
01: what is your first memory of me: head massage on the field at Friendship Games 2002
02: how long have we been friends: since Friendship Games 2002
03: tell about one memory we share together: Valentine's Day, playing Kingdom Hearts and eating Wendy's
04: describe me in four adjectives: ambitious, direct, thoughtful, silly
05: if we could spend a day together what would we do: eat at one of our restaurants, watch tv, play video games, have sex
06: name one thing you really don't like about me: your boyfriend
07: name one thing you really do like about me: eyes
08: if you could give me a gift what would it be: cosmetics
09: have we ever gotten in a fight & about what: yes, communication
10: have you ever seen me cry: yes
11: what is something embarrassing that i've done: dropped food on your boobs
12: what do i usually look like when you see me: my aivy-bear
13: what do i say all the time\whats my catch phrase: "fucking fuck"
14: do you think we will be friends in 5 years: forever is forever.
15: do you think i am bitchy: yes, but that's what I love about you.
16: has there been anything you wanted to tell me, but didn't: I'm Gay!
17: what advice would you give me, in general: Remind me that I'm not ugly.
18: wanna make out: always.
19: suggest a band / cd for me to listen to: Save Ferris
20: is there a song that reminds you of me: Light My Candle - Rent Soundtrack
The greatest part of my life involves the people close to me. Would you like to know who those people are? Well, I believe it's about time that you people are credited and acknowledged. Aivy is my girlfriend who I have loved and still love for many months now. She is there for me when she doesn't even know just being there makes me happy. She is always appreciated because she knows who I am when I don't. Edison is my bestfriend who I have known since our penises were about an inch long. His cock was probably like a belt when we were in 5th Grade. Whoa! Paulo who should be Reckanoized for all his attention toward a friend like me. What did I do deserve such happiness from one single person. My family has always been there for me, and I have always tried to be there for them. Am I still there? Of course. You three have always been there when I just needed to chill or kick it. Not saying that no one else has been there, but damn...
Sorry to cut this short, but I want to go play Socom 2 online.
AIVY
01: what is your first memory of me: head massage on the field at Friendship Games 2002
02: how long have we been friends: since Friendship Games 2002
03: tell about one memory we share together: Valentine's Day, playing Kingdom Hearts and eating Wendy's
04: describe me in four adjectives: ambitious, direct, thoughtful, silly
05: if we could spend a day together what would we do: eat at one of our restaurants, watch tv, play video games, have sex
06: name one thing you really don't like about me: your boyfriend
07: name one thing you really do like about me: eyes
08: if you could give me a gift what would it be: cosmetics
09: have we ever gotten in a fight & about what: yes, communication
10: have you ever seen me cry: yes
11: what is something embarrassing that i've done: dropped food on your boobs
12: what do i usually look like when you see me: my aivy-bear
13: what do i say all the time\whats my catch phrase: "fucking fuck"
14: do you think we will be friends in 5 years: forever is forever.
15: do you think i am bitchy: yes, but that's what I love about you.
16: has there been anything you wanted to tell me, but didn't: I'm Gay!
17: what advice would you give me, in general: Remind me that I'm not ugly.
18: wanna make out: always.
19: suggest a band / cd for me to listen to: Save Ferris
20: is there a song that reminds you of me: Light My Candle - Rent Soundtrack
Monday, November 03, 2003
Crunchy apples are so sweet...yum
November. Ah! Another month of joyous occasions and blissful breezes of chilly and frosty death winds. That's one way to describe what's been happening to the world that God warns us of. First, he brings the pillar of fire to inhale the lungs of the unrighteous one's, in other words, everyone. Second, the drops of hale storms grabs the earth in painful bruises that concludes in the cold shadows that we as people endure and portray to him, in what we call, hellish lifestyle.
Anyway, I have the proof to call Los Angeles hell. If people are willing to sacrificing themself with the conviction of arson, there must be something wrong with the city. In cases like these, I would like to say I'm happy to be a Bay Arean. We got beautiful cities like San Francisco, San Mateo, Hayward, San Jose, Fremont, Oakland, Santa Rosa, Sausalito, etc. What more can you ask for? Ok! I'll stop bashing South California. What I should be hating on is the city over on the East Coast that resides this guy, Mark, that temporarily goes to CSUH. I can't really be mean to someone that everyone else has already added their two cents, but I must say my conservative sayings. If xanga is like a safe-haven for you, then you thought wrong. You must know by now that most college and alumni use xanga, blogspot, etc. Yes, it is used to say what is on your mind, without noticing that people have a right and privilege to speak their minds also. It's your funeral. No threat intended. Just live life real and be honest, although, think about what you say before you say it.
So, I was in Whittier, California, at a Day's Inn last Wednesday night. Pretty comfortable if I may say. With the twin's, mando, and kawawa by our sides, Aivy and I slept wonderfully and awoke to a black haze of smoke sailing through the air. Visiting Romina G. and the cute baby with the hair, Rowen. Hope I spelled it correctly. Filipino babies are the cutest. Can't wait to have one. What? Yes I can. Shoot.
Now, work. Work sucks when they have unfair time schedules. I took off last Sunday because I was sick. Hehe.
Had a long talk with the parental unit. She reminded me of the ground rules and responsibilies that I need to make since I'm old enough to live on my own. She's not afraid to kick me out, if she needs to. My mother is a tough cookie. Her wrath engulfs the three son's characteristics all into one person. Back up before her motherly love devours you.
This Thursday, Akbayan is hosting an ice skating night once again. I want to go, since I didn't go to the last one. Plus, I love ice skating. I love playing ice hockey. I love cold sports. Yet, I get sick from the cold. I haven't been in San Jose in awhile, so it'll be good.
Note: Anyone wish to room with me in San Francisco. Email me, joshgumbi@sbcglobal.net.
November. Ah! Another month of joyous occasions and blissful breezes of chilly and frosty death winds. That's one way to describe what's been happening to the world that God warns us of. First, he brings the pillar of fire to inhale the lungs of the unrighteous one's, in other words, everyone. Second, the drops of hale storms grabs the earth in painful bruises that concludes in the cold shadows that we as people endure and portray to him, in what we call, hellish lifestyle.
Anyway, I have the proof to call Los Angeles hell. If people are willing to sacrificing themself with the conviction of arson, there must be something wrong with the city. In cases like these, I would like to say I'm happy to be a Bay Arean. We got beautiful cities like San Francisco, San Mateo, Hayward, San Jose, Fremont, Oakland, Santa Rosa, Sausalito, etc. What more can you ask for? Ok! I'll stop bashing South California. What I should be hating on is the city over on the East Coast that resides this guy, Mark, that temporarily goes to CSUH. I can't really be mean to someone that everyone else has already added their two cents, but I must say my conservative sayings. If xanga is like a safe-haven for you, then you thought wrong. You must know by now that most college and alumni use xanga, blogspot, etc. Yes, it is used to say what is on your mind, without noticing that people have a right and privilege to speak their minds also. It's your funeral. No threat intended. Just live life real and be honest, although, think about what you say before you say it.
So, I was in Whittier, California, at a Day's Inn last Wednesday night. Pretty comfortable if I may say. With the twin's, mando, and kawawa by our sides, Aivy and I slept wonderfully and awoke to a black haze of smoke sailing through the air. Visiting Romina G. and the cute baby with the hair, Rowen. Hope I spelled it correctly. Filipino babies are the cutest. Can't wait to have one. What? Yes I can. Shoot.
Now, work. Work sucks when they have unfair time schedules. I took off last Sunday because I was sick. Hehe.
Had a long talk with the parental unit. She reminded me of the ground rules and responsibilies that I need to make since I'm old enough to live on my own. She's not afraid to kick me out, if she needs to. My mother is a tough cookie. Her wrath engulfs the three son's characteristics all into one person. Back up before her motherly love devours you.
This Thursday, Akbayan is hosting an ice skating night once again. I want to go, since I didn't go to the last one. Plus, I love ice skating. I love playing ice hockey. I love cold sports. Yet, I get sick from the cold. I haven't been in San Jose in awhile, so it'll be good.
Note: Anyone wish to room with me in San Francisco. Email me, joshgumbi@sbcglobal.net.
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
Overtime is the bestest
I work five days a week now. The only part that sucks is that my weekend starts Tuesday night and ends Thursday night. I'm going to be working this Halloween, and I just realized that I'll be the #1 driver at my store now. Caesar is predicted to be transferred to another store, or maybe fired like the rest. I doubt he'll be fired because he's an excellent worker for (S).com. So, it seems as if I'm the only full-timer at Geary & Webster, eh. So, as of the past 3-days, I've worked nearly 5-hours of overtime this week. Every friday, my body is so relaxed to work, yet lazy. By Sunday night, I'm in agony and miserable that work is doing whatever to me, eh. The craziest part is that Monday and Tuesday are the BIG days. That means having twelve to seventeen deliveries in less than five hours. Though, I was proud of myself last Friday because I achieved thirteen deliveries in 2-hours, but this is probably irrelevent to any of you.
Let me tell you, the information that I've learned for my major is slowly slipping away. I need to update and tutor myself on the simple education that I learned in IT. Like, the hexadecimal to binary ratio, and the equations on how to find resistor, current, and voltage. Which one is added in the series circuit that is the sum of reciprocal? Tell me, tell me please, eh. Anyone need to be tutored?
Note: Leaving Hayward the other morning, the water smelled like Hydrogen Peroxide, H2PO3, I think, eh.
I work five days a week now. The only part that sucks is that my weekend starts Tuesday night and ends Thursday night. I'm going to be working this Halloween, and I just realized that I'll be the #1 driver at my store now. Caesar is predicted to be transferred to another store, or maybe fired like the rest. I doubt he'll be fired because he's an excellent worker for (S).com. So, it seems as if I'm the only full-timer at Geary & Webster, eh. So, as of the past 3-days, I've worked nearly 5-hours of overtime this week. Every friday, my body is so relaxed to work, yet lazy. By Sunday night, I'm in agony and miserable that work is doing whatever to me, eh. The craziest part is that Monday and Tuesday are the BIG days. That means having twelve to seventeen deliveries in less than five hours. Though, I was proud of myself last Friday because I achieved thirteen deliveries in 2-hours, but this is probably irrelevent to any of you.
Let me tell you, the information that I've learned for my major is slowly slipping away. I need to update and tutor myself on the simple education that I learned in IT. Like, the hexadecimal to binary ratio, and the equations on how to find resistor, current, and voltage. Which one is added in the series circuit that is the sum of reciprocal? Tell me, tell me please, eh. Anyone need to be tutored?
Note: Leaving Hayward the other morning, the water smelled like Hydrogen Peroxide, H2PO3, I think, eh.
Sunday, October 26, 2003
Letting my sorrows sweat away
I should be used to working outside in the heat, since that's how it was in San Jose. But, don't you think it's a little odd having hot fall nights in the post season of October. Kids won't want to go Trick'r Treatin' if they're sweatin' their buns off in their costumes. Yeah right! Candy candy candy is what's on their minds. Anyway, unlike last Halloween, I'm scheduled to work that whole day. Especially, the first evening after daylight savings has sort of helped my deliveries. It wasn't as hot when I was doing my stuff because the sun was completely down by nearly five o'clock earlier. My sweat drowned my face, while the drops of liquid salt fell into my stinging eyes.
Talking to my friend, Edison, the other night and reminiscing on my days of Holy Name school, class of '93. Last Friday, he calls me up and asks me if I wanted to hangout. Little did I know was that our old friend, Kevin, was also chilling at the house. Let me take you back, this is Kevin who I hung out with and bonded with before Edison transferred to HN. I guess you can say Kevin was one of my bestfriends back in the day, but as time expanded, so did the distance. We went to different high school's and completely different colleges. My connection with Ed probably stayed because we went to the same college, and we were roommates our first year at SJSU. Unlike my high school era, I enjoyed some of the people at HN, like Kevin, Edison, James, Ariel, Simon, Joseph, Porsia, Michelle, Cheryl, Elizabeth, and so on. Mainly, I connected more with the Asian and Filipino crowd not knowing that nationality as a youth tends to keep groups of elementary students in their own little niches.
With this group, we had a small little get together back in my Sophomore year of college, in which both Edison and I didn't go to, leaving Kevin to kick it with Tuan. Someday, it'll happen once again, and I'll try to make it this time, mainly because I am back in San Francisco. Strange how things work for me.
I've managed to make strong friendships in San Jose, though, the people I hangout with now are the same people I kicked it with in eighth grade. Do things happen for a reason? My SJ homies have their area of the bay, and I am stuck in my rut. -sigh-
Friendship Games 2003 is over and everyone is on their way home, I think. I'm going to Aivy's house tonight to surprise her, even though she knows I'm going there. Oh well, I'm excited to see my bebeh. I hope she's excited to see me. Love you Bubu.
note: Sadness changes emotions as love engulfs all feelings of a hug. -hmm-
I should be used to working outside in the heat, since that's how it was in San Jose. But, don't you think it's a little odd having hot fall nights in the post season of October. Kids won't want to go Trick'r Treatin' if they're sweatin' their buns off in their costumes. Yeah right! Candy candy candy is what's on their minds. Anyway, unlike last Halloween, I'm scheduled to work that whole day. Especially, the first evening after daylight savings has sort of helped my deliveries. It wasn't as hot when I was doing my stuff because the sun was completely down by nearly five o'clock earlier. My sweat drowned my face, while the drops of liquid salt fell into my stinging eyes.
Talking to my friend, Edison, the other night and reminiscing on my days of Holy Name school, class of '93. Last Friday, he calls me up and asks me if I wanted to hangout. Little did I know was that our old friend, Kevin, was also chilling at the house. Let me take you back, this is Kevin who I hung out with and bonded with before Edison transferred to HN. I guess you can say Kevin was one of my bestfriends back in the day, but as time expanded, so did the distance. We went to different high school's and completely different colleges. My connection with Ed probably stayed because we went to the same college, and we were roommates our first year at SJSU. Unlike my high school era, I enjoyed some of the people at HN, like Kevin, Edison, James, Ariel, Simon, Joseph, Porsia, Michelle, Cheryl, Elizabeth, and so on. Mainly, I connected more with the Asian and Filipino crowd not knowing that nationality as a youth tends to keep groups of elementary students in their own little niches.
With this group, we had a small little get together back in my Sophomore year of college, in which both Edison and I didn't go to, leaving Kevin to kick it with Tuan. Someday, it'll happen once again, and I'll try to make it this time, mainly because I am back in San Francisco. Strange how things work for me.
I've managed to make strong friendships in San Jose, though, the people I hangout with now are the same people I kicked it with in eighth grade. Do things happen for a reason? My SJ homies have their area of the bay, and I am stuck in my rut. -sigh-
Friendship Games 2003 is over and everyone is on their way home, I think. I'm going to Aivy's house tonight to surprise her, even though she knows I'm going there. Oh well, I'm excited to see my bebeh. I hope she's excited to see me. Love you Bubu.
note: Sadness changes emotions as love engulfs all feelings of a hug. -hmm-
Wednesday, October 22, 2003
Listening to 112 - Your Letter
What can I say, sometimes I amaze myself in the tribulations of growing up. Talking to a friend of mine, Gwen, online and I told her that it was my first time I'm not going to friendship games. I can never regret the many years I've been there to meet, enjoy, and complain the ways of this huge brown gathering. Although, this year, I must back down from such socializing and do what I must in my life as a college graduate, alumni, a pure adult. I must go to work.
Ehhh!? Unlike my entry a few days ago, being it almost ten days later, the sharks haven't won a second game yet.
To those going to friendship games this weekend, enjoy the time there, and never regret what happens. It is like Las Vegas, what ever happens in Vegas stays there. Nearly a year later, what had happened in Fullerton that last Saturday night has turned into nearly fourteen months of undeniable happiness, sadness, madness, and collective emotions. It's the bestest of the best.
So long past memories and welcome new memories. I can't entirely let go of what has happened in my past, but I'll cherish what left of it I have. My friends, my acquaintances, my education, my let-downs, my pick-me-ups, and definitely my sincere greatnesses.
Note: The competitiveness in the 'games' was not worth the stress. If school's want to cheat, let them cheat. If one wins on pure skill, they're worth my handshake.
What can I say, sometimes I amaze myself in the tribulations of growing up. Talking to a friend of mine, Gwen, online and I told her that it was my first time I'm not going to friendship games. I can never regret the many years I've been there to meet, enjoy, and complain the ways of this huge brown gathering. Although, this year, I must back down from such socializing and do what I must in my life as a college graduate, alumni, a pure adult. I must go to work.
Ehhh!? Unlike my entry a few days ago, being it almost ten days later, the sharks haven't won a second game yet.
To those going to friendship games this weekend, enjoy the time there, and never regret what happens. It is like Las Vegas, what ever happens in Vegas stays there. Nearly a year later, what had happened in Fullerton that last Saturday night has turned into nearly fourteen months of undeniable happiness, sadness, madness, and collective emotions. It's the bestest of the best.
So long past memories and welcome new memories. I can't entirely let go of what has happened in my past, but I'll cherish what left of it I have. My friends, my acquaintances, my education, my let-downs, my pick-me-ups, and definitely my sincere greatnesses.
Note: The competitiveness in the 'games' was not worth the stress. If school's want to cheat, let them cheat. If one wins on pure skill, they're worth my handshake.
Friday, October 17, 2003
Thoughts keep running through my cranium
Do nice guys really finish last? - I once was one of these individuals who continued to feel last in line in the kissing booth. Just imagine myself in Revenge of the Nerds, Part One, when the Alpha Betas had their booth in the Adams College Greek Carnival, I bought one ticket to kiss the girl, but one problem is that the better guy(s) keeps cutting the line. The nice guy doesn't even finish. The guy with the babyface, the guy with the nice car, the guy with the nice body continues to put himself first, second, and last even before you can even get in the line.
I say, don't get in the line. The mentality of the male race forces a downfall of emotions that continues to subdue their ability to find what is right in their life. Who knows what is right in their life? I don't know what is the correct way to live. I just live my life day by day. We have special characteristics that we enjoy as a hobby, fun, or boredom. Partaking in your daily doings, we never arrange what exactly what's going to happen in our life. The day turns our good, the day turns out bad, mainly because a simple incident that doesn't go your way. On the contrary, there is an occurrence that will lead positive upon positive situations to lead to temporary happiness. You can't believe in constant happiness (unless you are me, ha!, just playin').
When the San Jose Sharks lose, when Aivy is having a bad day, when I'm forced to rush, when money because a fatal issue, when things don't go as planned, when... These are some bad times that I must endure in my life to try and find the light that shines of happiness. We ALL have feelings that sets our emotions into a mixture that should not be ignored. The Sharks lose, maybe they'll win the next one. When Aivy is down, I am there to hug her and love her. When I'm rushing, I take a deep breath and tell myself that my normal pace is good enough. And so forth.
With 'Nice Guys Finishing Last' and knowing that happiness has its downsides, we make ourselves feel the way we do because that's the way we are. No one can change us, no one can make us feel differently, no one has the ability to enslave us in their revolving life. If all you nice guys want to enter that 'line', make a new one and take what you have to keep that line together.
Note: Does anyone understand what I was saying? I hope so.
Do nice guys really finish last? - I once was one of these individuals who continued to feel last in line in the kissing booth. Just imagine myself in Revenge of the Nerds, Part One, when the Alpha Betas had their booth in the Adams College Greek Carnival, I bought one ticket to kiss the girl, but one problem is that the better guy(s) keeps cutting the line. The nice guy doesn't even finish. The guy with the babyface, the guy with the nice car, the guy with the nice body continues to put himself first, second, and last even before you can even get in the line.
I say, don't get in the line. The mentality of the male race forces a downfall of emotions that continues to subdue their ability to find what is right in their life. Who knows what is right in their life? I don't know what is the correct way to live. I just live my life day by day. We have special characteristics that we enjoy as a hobby, fun, or boredom. Partaking in your daily doings, we never arrange what exactly what's going to happen in our life. The day turns our good, the day turns out bad, mainly because a simple incident that doesn't go your way. On the contrary, there is an occurrence that will lead positive upon positive situations to lead to temporary happiness. You can't believe in constant happiness (unless you are me, ha!, just playin').
When the San Jose Sharks lose, when Aivy is having a bad day, when I'm forced to rush, when money because a fatal issue, when things don't go as planned, when... These are some bad times that I must endure in my life to try and find the light that shines of happiness. We ALL have feelings that sets our emotions into a mixture that should not be ignored. The Sharks lose, maybe they'll win the next one. When Aivy is down, I am there to hug her and love her. When I'm rushing, I take a deep breath and tell myself that my normal pace is good enough. And so forth.
With 'Nice Guys Finishing Last' and knowing that happiness has its downsides, we make ourselves feel the way we do because that's the way we are. No one can change us, no one can make us feel differently, no one has the ability to enslave us in their revolving life. If all you nice guys want to enter that 'line', make a new one and take what you have to keep that line together.
Note: Does anyone understand what I was saying? I hope so.
Sunday, October 12, 2003
Sitting back with relief, knowing the SJ Sharks have the ability to win a game
This weekend exhausted my body in ways that I thought never existed. My determination to rush while I work left my body in a physically, abnormal position. My back hardly hurts, but my knees are slowly become fragile. In just a simple word, I feel "ouch".
The San Jose Sharks won their first game of the season today.
"...there is an empitness inside of me that not even the numerous pounds of food i consume can fill." - anonymous
I can honestly say I've felt this feeling once before. [See previous entry -10/09/03] This emotion of solitude portrays our utter existence. We strive to be better, but in short notice, we discover that the prolonged attempts find us fading away from achieving such accomplishments. There have been times when my hand had reached out for a hand, success, a diploma, a love of my life. I made a promise to myself that nothing will stand in my path to achieve what I deserve. No one should settle for mediocre, average, or even above average. We deserve excellence. We demand what is longing to grasp in our hands. Most of the time, my support is worth taking, but sometimes, I want to push all of you to tackle those obstacles and catch your dreams. The season of warmth is beginning with depression and sadness. Soon, it will be Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. In just a couple of days, we will be celebrating the new year. Make promises to yourselves, keep your spirit alive, and never let anyone take you down.
Even now, there are times when I lay flat on my back in my bed, look straight up at the ceiling, breathe as if it was my last breaths. My thoughts continue to reflect on what I've done in this lifetime. My eyes rotate around the room, noticing that my path somehow collected memories and shouted out happiness. I hope one day this feeling will be yours.
note: The moon was very bright this weekend, did you notice its glimmer, its shine, its smile? I did
This weekend exhausted my body in ways that I thought never existed. My determination to rush while I work left my body in a physically, abnormal position. My back hardly hurts, but my knees are slowly become fragile. In just a simple word, I feel "ouch".
The San Jose Sharks won their first game of the season today.
"...there is an empitness inside of me that not even the numerous pounds of food i consume can fill." - anonymous
I can honestly say I've felt this feeling once before. [See previous entry -10/09/03] This emotion of solitude portrays our utter existence. We strive to be better, but in short notice, we discover that the prolonged attempts find us fading away from achieving such accomplishments. There have been times when my hand had reached out for a hand, success, a diploma, a love of my life. I made a promise to myself that nothing will stand in my path to achieve what I deserve. No one should settle for mediocre, average, or even above average. We deserve excellence. We demand what is longing to grasp in our hands. Most of the time, my support is worth taking, but sometimes, I want to push all of you to tackle those obstacles and catch your dreams. The season of warmth is beginning with depression and sadness. Soon, it will be Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. In just a couple of days, we will be celebrating the new year. Make promises to yourselves, keep your spirit alive, and never let anyone take you down.
Even now, there are times when I lay flat on my back in my bed, look straight up at the ceiling, breathe as if it was my last breaths. My thoughts continue to reflect on what I've done in this lifetime. My eyes rotate around the room, noticing that my path somehow collected memories and shouted out happiness. I hope one day this feeling will be yours.
note: The moon was very bright this weekend, did you notice its glimmer, its shine, its smile? I did
Thursday, October 09, 2003
10/06/2003 - Went to work. I actually went home early because I wasn't feeling to well. It was actually the first time I actually left anything because I was sick. I say, if you're sick, stick to what your priorities are. Most people stay home because they don't want to get anyone sick where they are. I also say, if you are able to go to school or work, don't worry about getting anyone sick. If you know how to keep your cold to yourself, it's the care of themselves that should matter. Don't you think. I'm not the one coughing without covering my mouth like some rude people. I wash my hands whenever I touch anything nowadays, AND I don't exchange a handshake or hug when I am sick.
10/07/2003 - Woke up next to Aivy and attempted to sleep in until a little past noon. Unfortunately, with my sleeping pattern I woke up before 9-am. Aivy's cousin's, Melissa, came over to kick it and get ready for work. Hey girl, if Aivy can care so much about you, then so will I. Since it's almost three days ago, I just remember that we finally got out of the house and went to TGIF's for Marco's birthday. Happy 21st Birthday, Marco!!!
10/08/2003 - Mistakenly, I went into work finding out that Caesar was there already. I was only supposed to take his October 1st Wednesday. My impression was that I was taking his Wednesday shift altogether. Oh well! Later that day, I got ready and I drove myself to Hayward. It has been awhile since I went and slept there. Aivy and I watched the Simpson's 1st Season episodes. We eventually fell asleep a little past midnight.
10/09/2003 - I find myself in a pickle. I like to see myself as patient and worth the time, and I sometimes need to be told that I am appreciated. There is a particular person that constantly gives me the pleasure and I thank you, my love. Everyone tends to need a little push toward gratification. Don't tell me that you can live your life without any acknowledgement. Maybe moving out of five roommate environment into my old home leads me into isolation. Also, my parental unit is out of town, so my only reach of company is Aivy. These past two weeks have been the best, just like the first 10-months that we've been together. I'm lonely. Not as lonely like I was nearly two or three January's ago. I decided to leave San Jose and stay in San Francisco for only one week. It left me disturbed and scared to be alone. My friends turned out to be home-bodies. There was no one. I broke down, even when I went back to San Jose. I wanted to just sleep until school started again. So, now, I tell anyone who has ever felt this, YOU AREN'T ALONE. Of course, if you're religiously affiliated, you have God. But, there is alwas someone out there in this world who has the same constant boredom as you do. And when there is no possible escape from isolation, take a look at yourself in the mirror, and realize that time spent with yourself, your mind, your ability to expand your life is limitless.
note: I am alone now. I worry for many that have made isolation impossible.
10/07/2003 - Woke up next to Aivy and attempted to sleep in until a little past noon. Unfortunately, with my sleeping pattern I woke up before 9-am. Aivy's cousin's, Melissa, came over to kick it and get ready for work. Hey girl, if Aivy can care so much about you, then so will I. Since it's almost three days ago, I just remember that we finally got out of the house and went to TGIF's for Marco's birthday. Happy 21st Birthday, Marco!!!
10/08/2003 - Mistakenly, I went into work finding out that Caesar was there already. I was only supposed to take his October 1st Wednesday. My impression was that I was taking his Wednesday shift altogether. Oh well! Later that day, I got ready and I drove myself to Hayward. It has been awhile since I went and slept there. Aivy and I watched the Simpson's 1st Season episodes. We eventually fell asleep a little past midnight.
10/09/2003 - I find myself in a pickle. I like to see myself as patient and worth the time, and I sometimes need to be told that I am appreciated. There is a particular person that constantly gives me the pleasure and I thank you, my love. Everyone tends to need a little push toward gratification. Don't tell me that you can live your life without any acknowledgement. Maybe moving out of five roommate environment into my old home leads me into isolation. Also, my parental unit is out of town, so my only reach of company is Aivy. These past two weeks have been the best, just like the first 10-months that we've been together. I'm lonely. Not as lonely like I was nearly two or three January's ago. I decided to leave San Jose and stay in San Francisco for only one week. It left me disturbed and scared to be alone. My friends turned out to be home-bodies. There was no one. I broke down, even when I went back to San Jose. I wanted to just sleep until school started again. So, now, I tell anyone who has ever felt this, YOU AREN'T ALONE. Of course, if you're religiously affiliated, you have God. But, there is alwas someone out there in this world who has the same constant boredom as you do. And when there is no possible escape from isolation, take a look at yourself in the mirror, and realize that time spent with yourself, your mind, your ability to expand your life is limitless.
note: I am alone now. I worry for many that have made isolation impossible.
Sunday, October 05, 2003
Late, can't sleep, waiting patiently
Sad times come and go, happy times come and linger, anger lingers and tends to take a bothering stand upon the self image. You can't fight the feelings that one has, emotions just lead to related events. Scared to see what would happen if lacking the sacrifice that I can forgive myself in due time. Not knowing that small incidents can revolve a whole lifetime upside down. Wondering if the sacrifices, the push & shove, for another is all worth the time. Indeed it is!
Seeing the reflection of the blogger setup, I linger myself into a constant wonder that will lead me into profound and eternal happiness. Making my brain into a connection of words that is just jumbled thoughts that turn into nothingness. Grasping what I have left of my strength, I try to make sense. I TRY to make sense. I try to stay on my feet mainly because sometimes my hands, my arms do not want to pick me up. Sentences of words, paragraphs put into sentences, and bodies of thought meaning almost nothing because the only person that understands me is...me. I crumble inside, tormenting myself with outer possibilities that yearn for physical acceptance. I rest my soul down, waiting for mine to pick me up. Take me, lead me, I believe I can succeed. With my shoulders erect, and my head high, I shall exist, I shall forego the sounds of birds welcome the morning rise. I shall exist. I will exist. Existence is forever. Forever is mine.
note: loving couples stay because of sacrifice.
Sad times come and go, happy times come and linger, anger lingers and tends to take a bothering stand upon the self image. You can't fight the feelings that one has, emotions just lead to related events. Scared to see what would happen if lacking the sacrifice that I can forgive myself in due time. Not knowing that small incidents can revolve a whole lifetime upside down. Wondering if the sacrifices, the push & shove, for another is all worth the time. Indeed it is!
Seeing the reflection of the blogger setup, I linger myself into a constant wonder that will lead me into profound and eternal happiness. Making my brain into a connection of words that is just jumbled thoughts that turn into nothingness. Grasping what I have left of my strength, I try to make sense. I TRY to make sense. I try to stay on my feet mainly because sometimes my hands, my arms do not want to pick me up. Sentences of words, paragraphs put into sentences, and bodies of thought meaning almost nothing because the only person that understands me is...me. I crumble inside, tormenting myself with outer possibilities that yearn for physical acceptance. I rest my soul down, waiting for mine to pick me up. Take me, lead me, I believe I can succeed. With my shoulders erect, and my head high, I shall exist, I shall forego the sounds of birds welcome the morning rise. I shall exist. I will exist. Existence is forever. Forever is mine.
note: loving couples stay because of sacrifice.
Wednesday, October 01, 2003
Phew!
I believe today has got to be the worst day of work that I've had, besides the first few days that I was working almost ten-hour shifts. There is nothing wrong with working overtime, especially when you get paid even more. I'm looking forward to getting small loads of work today; because by statistics, Wednesday is supposely the slowest day of the week. With my luck, I'm most likely going to be given ten-plus deliveries. DAMN! I receive thirteen frickin' orders for the morning shift. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE JOKING! My first Wednesday shift, and I get bombarded with the unfortunate. The afternoon is worse, yet crazy. By far, Jeremy and I get stuck with sixteen orders, meaning, we may miss the first minutes of Smallville. (And I do, all 33 minutes of it) Anyway, I was given five of sixteen to deliver separate from Jeremy, and I finish all of them within an hour, which I can't believe myself because before I was pacing at one and a half per hour. (no need for thanks) I call up my co-worker and tell him that we can start working together because the next seven orders are a complete leg tearing, stair climbing, terrible terrible work for us to do alone. I just added more customers to my Hate list. Before there was the Steiner lady, now there's the SCOTT lady. She orders 25 or more jugs of water, 10 six packs of bottles of water, and to top it off, 1 roll of toilet paper. Eh! In other words, pick up five bricks and prepare for misery of four sets of stairs that destroy the humanity of us, your (S) Delivery Persons. With a total of seven-six stairs multiplied by four trips, up and down, that comes to six hundred and eight stairs for ONE PERSON! Not to mention one more trip because we really didn't feel like giving her frozen and chilled items, but no, she complained and we brought them over. Ok! Now comes the crazy part, I'm sitting passenger seat while Jeremy is driving. This guy comes inches away from the cars in front of him at a stop light, drives 55mph in a residential, and swerves around people trying to turn left or right. The best I can do is just sit back and enjoy the roller coaster ride. (that what it seemed like)
Ok now, I total of about 25 miles per day of driving on an average day of work. That includes driving up hills of Nob Hill, Russian Hill, Marina, Embarcadero, going down Columbus, Chinatown, Tenderloin, Pacific Heights, Coit Tower...
And now I'm home, resting my legs, my arms, my back, my neck, and my feet, awaiting for my Off-stage Princess to appear at my door step.
It's October, PILIPINO HERITAGE MONTH. Yeah whatever. We should celebrate our pride, heritage, and well-being everyday. Instead, it's American and Worldly lifestyle that we walk in. We are clones and robots that live in social and political garbage. Only America where a World Wrestler, an Action Moviestar, plus 134 other candidates will strive to become Governor of a multi-diverse state. Shoot! "Ronald Reagan, the Actor" (Back to the Future), has become the President of the United States. I'm voting. THREE No's and Bustamonte. I think this whole recall situation is BS. Davis could be doing something for this state than try to promote himself for the position that he was legally voted in for. It's not his fault he's in such a bad situation with the state, we're the one's that voted him in. I really don't know.
Note: Barrelmen go down...and we like it!
I believe today has got to be the worst day of work that I've had, besides the first few days that I was working almost ten-hour shifts. There is nothing wrong with working overtime, especially when you get paid even more. I'm looking forward to getting small loads of work today; because by statistics, Wednesday is supposely the slowest day of the week. With my luck, I'm most likely going to be given ten-plus deliveries. DAMN! I receive thirteen frickin' orders for the morning shift. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE JOKING! My first Wednesday shift, and I get bombarded with the unfortunate. The afternoon is worse, yet crazy. By far, Jeremy and I get stuck with sixteen orders, meaning, we may miss the first minutes of Smallville. (And I do, all 33 minutes of it) Anyway, I was given five of sixteen to deliver separate from Jeremy, and I finish all of them within an hour, which I can't believe myself because before I was pacing at one and a half per hour. (no need for thanks) I call up my co-worker and tell him that we can start working together because the next seven orders are a complete leg tearing, stair climbing, terrible terrible work for us to do alone. I just added more customers to my Hate list. Before there was the Steiner lady, now there's the SCOTT lady. She orders 25 or more jugs of water, 10 six packs of bottles of water, and to top it off, 1 roll of toilet paper. Eh! In other words, pick up five bricks and prepare for misery of four sets of stairs that destroy the humanity of us, your (S) Delivery Persons. With a total of seven-six stairs multiplied by four trips, up and down, that comes to six hundred and eight stairs for ONE PERSON! Not to mention one more trip because we really didn't feel like giving her frozen and chilled items, but no, she complained and we brought them over. Ok! Now comes the crazy part, I'm sitting passenger seat while Jeremy is driving. This guy comes inches away from the cars in front of him at a stop light, drives 55mph in a residential, and swerves around people trying to turn left or right. The best I can do is just sit back and enjoy the roller coaster ride. (that what it seemed like)
Ok now, I total of about 25 miles per day of driving on an average day of work. That includes driving up hills of Nob Hill, Russian Hill, Marina, Embarcadero, going down Columbus, Chinatown, Tenderloin, Pacific Heights, Coit Tower...
And now I'm home, resting my legs, my arms, my back, my neck, and my feet, awaiting for my Off-stage Princess to appear at my door step.
It's October, PILIPINO HERITAGE MONTH. Yeah whatever. We should celebrate our pride, heritage, and well-being everyday. Instead, it's American and Worldly lifestyle that we walk in. We are clones and robots that live in social and political garbage. Only America where a World Wrestler, an Action Moviestar, plus 134 other candidates will strive to become Governor of a multi-diverse state. Shoot! "Ronald Reagan, the Actor" (Back to the Future), has become the President of the United States. I'm voting. THREE No's and Bustamonte. I think this whole recall situation is BS. Davis could be doing something for this state than try to promote himself for the position that he was legally voted in for. It's not his fault he's in such a bad situation with the state, we're the one's that voted him in. I really don't know.
Note: Barrelmen go down...and we like it!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)