Tonight, I sit in my apartment wondering where my life is leading. I honestly tried to apply for this one job that I found on craigslist, unfortunately, I couldn't find my resume and cover letter. This totally sucks.

I'm scanning through my mp3's on the disks. I finished all my chocolate fudge stuff. I'm attempting to clean up for the past couple of days, but I keep getting lazy. I really wanted to watch Dodgeball at the Coronet, here in San Francisco, but the stupid phone was all distorted from dust malfunctions and the phoneguy had to come in. The furniture all had to be moved because Mr. Leroy, the SBC Guy, had to get to the phone jacks. Although, he did install new phone jacks, costing $55 to my next phonebill. Goodness. I could have done it myself. Blah.

I watch Will & Grace and be bored. If I didn't have work tomorrow, I would have went to Aris and Albert's house party. -sigh- I want to die. My life is at a halt.

note: Don't graduate.
 

Three Things

 

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:

1. Joey
2. Gumbi
3. Don Hipol
 
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1.  Ability to never quit
2.  Patience
3.  Gracefulness

THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1.  Boring
2.  Slow thinker
3.  Bad with vocabulary
 
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND:
1. Pilipino identity
2. Females
3. Synonyms 

THREE THINGS THAT ANNOY YOU:
1. Drivers that don't signal
2. Drivers that speed in the residential districts 
3. Dust
 
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Isolation
2. Zombies
3. Nightmares
 
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Wallet
2. House keys
3. Cell phone
 
THREE people or sets of PEOPLE YOU SPEND/TALK THE MOST TIME WITH:
1. Aivy
2. Edison
3. Akbayan people
 
THREE THINGS YOU CAN'T DO:
1. Make sense
2. Lead
3. Fly
 
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Ice hockey
2. Video games
3. Smile
 
THREE THINGS YOU WANT REALLY BAD RIGHT NOW:
1. DSL
2. SJ Sharks season tickets
3. an IT job
 
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Safeway IT specialist
2. Technical support @ Downtown SF business
3. Videogame tester
 
THREE PLACES YOU WOULD GO ON VACATION:
1. Maui
2. Canada
3. San Diego
 
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Live
2. Love
3. Wonder
 
THREE THINGS YOU ARE GOING TO DO TONIGHT:
1. Play NHL2004 Dynasty mode
2. Chat on AIM
3. Watch the Simpsons
 
Thanks Kathleen, you gave me something to do before I go to bed.

I would like to thank everyone who attended my birthday surprise at the Hoo!

Edison...finally you've managed to spend a birthday with me. text: happy birthday JO ey!
Aivy...thank you for keeping my birthday in check.
Charles...interesting how small this world really is, but anyway, thanks for coming.
Kathleen & Chris...knowing that you guys made it with smiles on your faces puts a smile on mine. text: Happy Bday, Joey! -love, Kathleen n Chris
Ted...you were the only that RSVP'd from the very beginning, you the man, thanks.
Paulo...when I first found out you told you couldn't make it, I was saddened. As the event came closer, you somehow changed your mind and spend the evening with me. Thanks.
Wingmen...my friendship for you guys will never seize, unless the wingmen disban. that's not likely.
Tawny...having you at my birthday puts a smile on my face. Good Morning Sunshine.
Ladies of 101...with a little variety, you helped the ratio between guys to girls get better. but hey, we're all friends. thanks for taking the time to make it to the Hoo!
Mark...Dark Mark, thanks...for not getting to messed up. It's my birthday, remember.

other texts...
Ken: happy b-day joey before it hits 12, hahaha, sorry i can't make it (it's ok, I saw you a couple days after)
Flowerboy: Happy birthday bro Call me when your awake.
Kris: Happy bday! have a good one.
RJ: dude...happy bday
Reyna: Happy birthday bro, love you lots. -reyna
Gina: HaPpY BiRtHdAy!!!!! (case sensitive my dear)
Yumi: hehehe if only...happy birthday
Adan: happy birthday gumbi

note: Thanks and congratulations to all my fellow Cancer babies.

Chapter 12 - An Era Less Forgotten

i. SnowJams2003

ii. Spring Semester 2003

iii. Tapioca Express Tuesday/Thursdays

iv. PCN2003 "The Ninang"

v. Pil-Grad Commencement

I finally got Edcay to come with us to the snow, moreover, anywhere. It was freshmen year when Edcay went on an Akbayan outing. And look now, nearly five years later, he's in the driver's seat. I was excited to go up to the snow mainly because it might be the last time going with Akbayan, or its because I was with someone to share the snowy hills with. Inside Edcay's vehicle was Aivy and I with our snowboards stretched across the backseat and trunk. When we finally got to our destination, the snow was not that bad. We didn't need chains for the ride up, but the snow looked beautiful. When we arrived that late Friday, some of the folks were already comfortable in the cabin. The group of snowbayans were comfortable in the cabin that we had used once before. Later in the day, the rest of roomies arrived and we had a pretty late dinner. But, of course, we had no problems with the amount of noise made. The Saturday morning, I woke early assuming we would get to the slopes by 10 or 11, unusually, we were arriving at Northstar about 1am. I wasn't disappointed. We only paid for half day. The first few hours, I got to teach Aivy the basics of snowboarding. I failed as a teacher. She hurt herself and I went off to go on some of the other downhills. Sorry Babble. That Saturday night, some of us decided to play 10 Fingers. I found out some interesting skeletons about a handful of people. But, no worries, confidentiality is what I'm used to. Sunday was short, we all went out ways after eating Sushi on the way home. As for most visits to the snow, I've enjoyed this one in its own crazy way. For one thing, I got to play in the snow with Aivy, watch my friend freak a broom and walk the runway, and discover interesting stuff about people.

The month of January 2003 was the beginning of the end of my own era. I started my last couple of major classes with the motivation that I would get or attempt a gpa of 4.0. The list of classes that I took were Stats 115, Tech 20, Tech 162, Tech 168, and Tech 169. Fortunately, I was able to finish the Industrial Technology, ECT, Program without taking all those extra courses that they've implemented. Beside that, I had found my rightful educational plan of action. I was ready to become a San Jose State University alumni, with a Bachelor of Science Degree in the previously named course. Although, I do not believe that my focus is based on the Engineering name. If we were part of the Engineering, why doesn't the end of my major end with Engineering. Unless, the name of my major is Industrial Technology Engineering, but then, in the pamphlet for incoming Frosh, there's a list of all types of Engineering, except IT. The last time I saw, IT was a branch off of one of the original Engineering categories, like Electrical. I find myself in a hopeless future, wondering if my current job is where I'll be for the next fifty years. But with much determination, I will and shall become better. One should not stop where one has finished, but succeed in the goals that come from accomplishing a previous dream. When I finished my last semester, my education had become a priority in my life. And for once, I was proud to say what my gpa was...a 3.0. From my Fall 1997 semester, I thought that achieving anywhere near an honors grade point average was impossible, especially when there are females around. In high school, the only female influences in my choice of education were the teachers, coaches, and administration; all which were not worth a second look at. My first few classes were general education classes that accounted for my new class settings involving the female gender. This new style of education lowered my grade point average significantly. You can also say that college wasn't as easy, nor was it harder than expected. My final semester determined my growth of adulthood and responsiblity.

That semester was the most relaxing because I already knew it would be the last. I wasn't going to accept a failing grade in any of my classes. I succeeded in a B+ in 20, A- in 168, C+ in 115, B- in 162, and B in 169.

Some of the other events that had happened that semester was the coming together of the Tapioca Express people, mainly Raina, Kat, Gwen, and myself, among others that could be named, but I shall not. You know who you are. There is a list that we made together, along with a few others, maybe this may spark a memory..."You Go To S.J.S.U. if..." We made a list of 47 possibilities. I'm pretty sure any one of us can come up with a few. On Tuesday and/or Thursdays, I would exit my AutoCad class and find outside in front of the Student Union, a select, but certain few that would always be interested in going to Tapioca Express. My drink of choice was and will always be Mocha Snowbubble with Brown Balls. I found an interest in taking a walk to the nearby liquid vendor because there was a wanting to be. A need to be in a temporary longing that had a particular yet shallow goal - to get to the destination and buy a drink...with BROWN BALLS.

Writing the script took many stages. During the summer, I was manually writing line-by-line each scene that went with the plot. Although some of the scenes were deleted, I was able to write up a decent script for this year's Pilipino Cultural Night...ahem...Philippine Cultural Showcase. I encouraged the change of the name, but then I found out the significance that changing the name isn't the answer. The storyline had become into effect when having dinner with some friends when we were mentioning different types of stories that we can use. And then, boom, The Ninang idea gave birth, almost one and a half to two years before it was showed on stage. The only disappointment was the fact that my story was severely edited by the coordinators. I've been writing scripts since 1998. I don't think I'm the best script-writer, but I do know that my imagination hasn't been torn from its place. I own a notebook with dozens of short stories that only a few have read. These stories were made when Akbayan decided to do skits for PCN, instead of a main story. The skits were successful, unfortunately, none of my skits were used. Were they too profound, were they too confusing?

In The Ninang, I opened up all my emotions because this PCN would be my last, well, at least performance-wise. After this show, I will always be back to support this organization. From the very start, I considered Akbayan some type of family figure. There's no mother or father, but siblings, brothers and sisters that have always been there for me in amazing and astonishing ways. I will never forget any of the cabinets that I've participated in, or any of the people I've met from the organization itself. According to this semester, I was able to meet particular individuals that I was able to get to know even more. Can you guess who these people are? One individual was my Chacha partner, Alexis, and seems to be a very good friend. During practices, we would make sure we got the moves down. Obviously, she was like the assistant teacher to Aldrich. She was a fun dance partner and she was always willing to put up with my grief. You're the bestest! I guess Alexis couldn't get enough of me, so she had me as her Tango partner. That's for you Alexis, since you keep asking me why I don't write about ya'll.

I finally achieved Prince for Singkil. I attempted to make my own sword and shield for the dance. Unfortunately, the significance of the shield and sword had nothing to do with the dance. They were too flamboyent. Nearly a week before the show, I was working on the shaping and sanding of the pieces. Some of the nights where I wasn't at practice, I was stressing on getting my pieces finished. I was scared a few nights because the tools weren't responding with what I wanted. I spend so much time on the sword and shield, I never learned the whole routine. The first night was better than the second night because Kat and I ran into each other during the second show. I'm not really sure if people noticed. Teaching the fangirls was the beginning of my feminine experiences of gracefulness. In past PCN's, some of my friends told me that their parents thought I was gay. I'm a hetero, but I like to dance with grace and like liquid.

Everyone in the show, the veterans, the freshmen, the newby's, and the kids that just like to hang around, they all made that night special. Thank you Akbayan PCN'ers of 2003. Oh! And sorry for messing up during my solo.

Pil-Grad Commencement was a success, but not entirely what I expected. It was my last big job to do as an Akbayan leader, and I feel I've screwed it all up. Yeah, the event was another memory in the Akbayan yearbook. I was expecting to gather a group of twenty graduates and have a big Pilipino Graduation. Instead, I put on an intimate family type of get together. My fellow graduates all helped me out with putting the event come together. Sacha, Kat, Mike, and RJ all helped in their own ways. Sometimes I wish there were more participants, but I must accept what was given to me. I admit that I was a bit lazy, but mainly because PCS was my main priority during the semester. I didn't multitask. In short, Pil-Grad was great!

College was a great experience. The many friends that I've met kept me motivated to keep on moving forward with my goals. From my friends from the very beginning to the very end of the ordeal, I made what I could with my life possible. Remembering those who dropped in and then out of my life will never be forgotten. Each individual has played a very significant role in my life. Along with the movies and shows that had entered my life, they all mean something. There isn't a friendship that I took for granted. Some of the major friendships that I've considered greatly in my life are Edison, Leighton, Ted, Paulo, Alexis, Tawny, Liza, Tricia, and Mike.

For the reader's, I don't expect any of what I write to inspire you, or even motivate you, but I want to make my life known. The fact that I've managed to get through a stage in my life that some think is pointless at times. We all change our majors from time to time. We all stress over the frustrating. My life was how it was, and now I must take what I've learned, store the memories, and make room for what is to be determined by life.

note: I'm still working on these chapters. They aren't concrete. More to come.

...continuation from joshgumbi's xanga site

Today, my tension has risen to its very high and climatic point. I exploded with rage and anger. My temper had never been released from its cage. My veins rushed with blood running reverse from the normal flow of motion. While on my feet, my inner redness rushed to my brain exploding with rage toward the victim. I wasn't sure what I was saying, although I knew my feelings were being free. I'm sorry. Anger must be patient and emotion should be wholesome.

On the upside, I attended P.A.S.A.'s Pilipino Graduation (Pil-Grad). I helped out with what needed to be done. I was asked to sing the Philippine National Anthem which I was unable to do. The event had started late this evening mainly because Marco, Sylvia, and I attempted to run an errand that took a bit longer than expected. The worker that tried to help us was clueless. He knew what he was doing, yet he was slow at it. Stupid-head.

Am I turning my back on my own background? No! Akbayan is my family forever. Yet, they still do not ask for any assistance from me, their alumni. Unless they ask other alumni. Speaking of alumni...

So, from time to time, Aivy explains the issues of certain alumni leaving me in shock. The criticism and "concerns" toward any filipino organization has been made to evolve and adapt with incoming leaders. As an alumni and former student of SJSU, I've always welcomed anyone that was interested in the Akbayan spirit. Akbayan has had its low and high points in the past. When I started this organization/club, Akbayan was succeeding and achieving greatness. We had connections that I hadn't discovered until later years. Although, things began to change when 1990's alumni decided to dropout of the whole Akbayan scene. It wasn't the fact that they gave up after the cancellation of our own PCN '99, but they saw that the new generation of Akbayan members were changing. During PCN '00 rehearsals, assistance was needed to teach dances to some of the rookies of Akbayan. The connection between the two was unpleasant. To this day, friends still recall those days as uncomfortable and irrational. (Yes Ted, I'm talking about you) Anyway, in short, some alumni can be exclusive. I feel I've become an outsider with my own organization. I wanted to watch both shows this past year, but work had taken that away from me. And if anyone knew me, I'm very dedicated toward my priorities and things to do. I also cannot believe I missed Akbayan's Pil-Grad due to commitment toward other situations. I apologize to those that had graduated. And also, Congratulations!!!

next entry topic: Chapter 12: The Finale - am I really done?

what's in my...
PS2 = NHL2004 (videogame) Southpark or Matrix Revolutions (dvd)
wallet = one dollar bills
pocket = keys (left pocket) cell phone (right pocket)
GameCube = Super Monkeyball (soon)
Ulo = Ulo (duh!)
arms = Babble & Nick (the bear Marie gave Aivy for her b-day)


note: "I used to know how to dress, until I got into college."

- Sharks are a game away from ending their successful season -
note: why does competition in something I feel greatly toward excite me as well as frustrate me?

I admit that I'm addicted to some things. I enjoy making people happy. I still believe in others happiness before my own. I can easily make myself happy. Otherwise, I'd be a pretty boring and dull person. With that point in mind, I may appear to be a laid back type, but I just need to be familiar with the situation in order to liven up my party.

Chapter 11: Almost done.
The summer of 2002 was a blast. I was working as many hours as I could. I was hanging out with the homies every now and then, or whenever we got the chance. By the end of the summer, I was getting ready for the year ahead of me. I was situating the papers to make Pil-Grad Commencement a campus club. With the information at hand, I got through the primary paper work. All that needed to be done was the Constitution. Bottomline, I took Akbayan's draft and tried to formulate a new draft for the purposes needed for Pil-Grad. Over and over I was told to edit the Constitution because some of the information was vague and misleading. I guess I thought that since I was well-known in Student Life, I was going to be able to breeze by. I thought completely wrong. I was faced by the wrong individuals to help me out. In short, I gave up. I never give up. I keep fighting for what should be done. I couldn't take it, I gave up.

I was back on Akbayan cabinet for the next two semesters. Will I be able to limit my assistance so that I can keep up with my studies? Actually, I was able to make my academic life a main priority. I was taking Technology classes and fulfilling my general education classes and business minor. The Fall 2002 semester was a great step toward what I really wanted to do with my future. The information and education I was given was well-documented. I wanted to learn. I finally found the true meaning of going and finishing school. I could actually sit in class and learn everything that my professors were teaching me. Maybe it was the fact that I knew I was finishing at the end of the year, I wanted to become a smarter person in the field I was in. Take what you learn, make yourself want it. If you don't want it, why are you there?

By Friendship Games, I promised myself that the trip will be memorable. I wrote once about my trips to and fro already. Let's talk about what happened during the games. I knew I should have done role call, but I didn't have time to make the practices during the week because I was studying. The Saturday morning went well. Everyone woke up on time, we all were ready to get our butts into the games. We step out of the hotel and its drizzling. I'm wearing my SJSU sweatshirt with my Akbayan shirt over it. I can only see it now, both Ulo and I with hoodies on and a video camera around our necks. We are bros. The rain seemed to drown out the inspiration of the games. Some schools were downright ready to get in the mud and splash around like duckies. I helped set up camp and walked around. I did the nomad type of stroll around the damp grass. As light appeared, so did the eyes of filipinos around the area. Spuf grew inside people's bodies. Friendship Games started off low, but the event ended smoothly and strong.
In short, a bunch of us went to Downtown Disney and enjoyed the LA environment, and the spirit of Anaheim's win over the Giants in Game 5. To tell you the truth, I enjoyed being with my friends in an unknown place. If only we can take trips like this more often, it would be so thrilling to see what would happen if we all went on a road trip. By the time we all got back, I made a decision that determined my love life completely. My first option was to go upstairs to my room and sleep. Earlier that day, I was invited to kickback and relax in Room 151 with some Pasa people. I came to the fork in the road, or the hallway. I was looking toward the lobby toward the elevators, while turning my head down that first floor hallway to Room 151. I stepped forward and found myself with a glass of green liquid in my hand. Aivy, Pasa's Treasurer, welcomed me to the room with guys and girls from the triforce, SJSU, SFSU, and CSUH. This was my treat for wanting my last Friendship Games to end with a bang. And now look, 19 months later, I'm in a loving relationship with an incredible woman.

A week later, Akbayan had an ice skating night. I was thrilled to be on the ice as usual. Although, during the week, I had an interesting conversation with a particular female. We chatted online and then I called her on the phone. I knew I would see her at the ice skating event. I was a bit nervous to see her away from Friendship Games. It took me awhile to go up to her and say hello to her. She looked great, she smelled great, and -sigh. Nearly five days later, we finally see each other again. The feeling was great.

The rest of the semester seemed a blur. I just remember seeing Aivy and eventually becoming her boyfriend. She was great then, and still is a great catch, even though she caught me.

Chapter 10: The Lighting Guy

The semester I finally decided to stray away from the pcn stage and take on the backstage position that I once took back in Chapter 2. The only reason I did lighting only is because I was more involved with Pride of the Pacific Islands luau. It was my chance to meet a lot of different people at San Jose State. With no surprise, I met a lot more girls than guys. Well, of course I did. Hardly any guys wanted to dance, which was no problem for me at the time. The luau was somewhat stressing because we weren't allowed to miss any practices. If you missed more than two practices, you were automatically cut. I know its discipline, but I guess I just wasn't used to it. That was how I wanted Akbayan pcn practices to be. But, after four years, I just couldn't handle being mean and an authority figure as much as one would want. I just made things fun, but at the same time, I got things done. Remember that you should get things done first, and then once you got things down, have fun with it. I wasn't really stressed that semester because I already started to feel motivated with my classes. I had time management down to the minute.

Spring 2002 was academically noticable because it was the first time I was getting A's in my classes.
School was interesting that semester. I tried hard to stray away from Akbayan's existence. I wanted to live the life of an M.I.A. Unfortunately, there was a lot of time that I had where I wasn't in class. Even though work kept me occupied, I was still doing my job pretty quick to be able to kick back in front of the Union...and waste time with people. The semester went smoothly because I was taking my minor classes. I was in a bunch of my Business Management classes.

PCN 2002 - Aking Pilipina (a success) I was surprised that I limited myself with this pcn. In the beginning, Chariss asked for assistance with the dances she would be teaching. I wanted to help her, but my classes had become my first priority. Little did I know was that she had everything under control. See what happens when you put a female in charge of dances. Things get done. I can't believe I was reliable with dances in past years. In time, I've become someone to look to for help with dances. Like now.

The competition between Pride of the Pacific and Akbayan showed significantly. Practices with pride were strict. So strict that people doing pcn didn't show because of their commitment to the pride luau. It was said that if you miss two practices, you were out. Although, with akbayan-pcn, if you miss practices, there were no understudies. It was either you were in or you were in. The luau went somewhat smoothly. The stresses of this show was a bit less stressing, mainly because I wasn't one of the main people in charge of the luau. Crazy stuff, but hey, I was considered a luau virgin. I met a lot of hottie chicks, yet no one seemed to catch my eye...or no one had an eye for me. And if they did, sheesh, am I that intimidating? Now, that the luau had diminished, time for pcn to march right back into my life.

The show was scheduled, once again on the same date as Santa Clara's. As a matter of fact, this was the show that Jonas Estrada went to instead of ours. And you claim him as your PCN Co-coordinator. -sheesh- The show was on its way. I was so able to do the things I've always wanted to do. The ability to interview people and talk with the cast and make sure the show went on smoothly, instead of practicing dances, teaching steps, getting the preparations ready for the show. My role in this pcn was lighting. Two run-throughs before the show, I was able to work with my fellow lighting consultant. She was very friendly. We had strange conversations about theater production, sex, and food. She was a sexually deprived individual. By the time the show came around...BOOM...I had my trusty red-orange booklet giving cues. FADE OUT to 80, FADE IN to 50. blah blah blah blah.

The show was over. I predicted the show would be great...And it was. My vision two years after the infamous re-arising of pcn 2000 was finally here. It came faster than I thought. People were hugging, everyone seemed proud to be akbayan, to be part of this show, and most importantly, feeling that akbayan would last without me.

My brothers Pil-Grad was coming up. The class of '02 was a huge one. A class of nearly 25 came and dressed in their black robes. They were an inspiring group ready to put on their last good-byes. My brother was there, along with some roommates that made life interesting. It seemed as if they had so much behind them to make this event successful. This was my motivation, yet just not enough for my own.

Chapter 9: Limited Participation


Fall 2001 - Spring 2002 Ted's Reign!

My education became the first priority in my life. I was taking my second major at state, and I surpassed my four years of post high school education. This fall semester was the beginning of the end for Akbayan, the start of my new education, and the quality of great friendships.

I've been living at e.W.o for four years and become very comfortable with my surroundings. I didn't really have much to participate in the house except for watching television and playing ice hockey.

Friendship Games 2001 was dull. The transportation to and fro were the interesting parts of the trip. I drove a fifteen seater with the most random and diverse group. Some of the passengers decided to smoke weed while we were on highway 5. Oh well, I didn't smell it in the van when I returned it. On our way, we stopped in Casa de Fruta, off of 152. When we were about to leave, we discover that a wife cheated on her husband. The affair met out there at their location and the husband found them. We watched the drama turn into a violent blood bath. Just kidding. The husband swung a few punches at the guy, while the wife yelled at both of the men. The two males ended up on the ground. My passengers and I just laughed and video taped the whole incident. Hilarious! Remember that Paulo!

On the way home from the Promenade in Santa Monica, after we all finished eating at Hooter's, with the ugly waitress that overcharged our bill and discovering that Tera Patrick was there too, Mark's suburban broke down a few exits after we got on the freeway. The time was about 6 o'clock. All the cars with us, minus three, followed Mark to his cousin's house in Los Angeles. Finally, the caravan began their trip home at 10 o'clock in the evening. We arrived in San Jose about 4am, tired as a mutha!

Filipino Heritage Day happened the week before friendship games. I didn't participate, I just watched.

My winter formal date that year was whack. Enough about that, I had more fun when she left with Ted's ex. (covering mouth) haha. sorry Ted. Had to say it.

Chapter 8: Spring 2001



Another PCN semester. The strength of Akbayan has never hit this peak, according to my so-called reign. That semester, the participation level was unbelievable. We had our pcn open house. Even an hour before the meeting, I was making calls to people so that they'd show up. And guess what! We had a damn good outcome. I remember the interns doing their job. That year, the interns were our famous go-getters to make things happen. Aris, Mark, Marius, Irene, and Suzanne(kinda) made it all happen. People showed up interested in doing the show. That year, we pretty much lost the support from a majority of our alumni. The only help that I could gather up were Ann, Jun, and some of Jaymar. Ann helped with Dumadel, Uyauy, while Jun helped out with Uyauy, and Jaymar with Kappa Malong Malong. And yes, I can be wrong with the dances. I just have my own way of teaching dances. It may take a lot of dedication, but hey, it will be done. That year, we found another great dancer and contribution to Akbayan, Chariss. PCN was held at the Santa Clara Convention Center. The only negative part of that show were the programs. They were somewhat whack, but hey, I made the whole thing in one night.

The skits were great. I starred in one of the stories. I played the white-washed boyfriend that gets physically slapped in the face. It stung. This was the first show where I had drama with someone. I was truly sorry that the drama had to unveil itself, but hey, I trusted people with my confidence. Oh well! You never know who to trust with your words. Does anyone know where my pcn 2001 tape is?

This was the first semester where I was an IT major. I registered for all Computer Science classes, but dropped them all for Tech198, Tech 60, and some other one. During the semester, I saw a GE advisor. I completed all my lower GE classes. Yay! When I tried dropping one of the CS classes that I had, I forgot to insert a reason why I wanted to drop the class. So, in time, I was sent a letter to turn in the reason. The only problem was that I didn't need the class anymore. Later, I was given a call to go in and see an advisor. She practically scolded and lectured me about my classes. She questioned why I was a fourth year student and coming no where close to a degree. At that point, something just hit me. Education had become really important to me. Most students believe in taking classes and hoping to just pass the class. At that point, I turned into a "I won't settle for anything but an A" student. And guess what, my grades started to go up. When I was president and co-coordinator of pcn 2000, I received a gpa of 2.81, which was my highest at that point. Tell me, how does someone receive a high gpa when I'm really busy, and not close to getting anything done.

Chapter 7: ReFRESHman-ing



The summer of 2000 was an amazing one. This was the summer I turned TWENTY-ONE. It was the day that I thought a bunch of people would actually come to TGIF's over at Valco. Although only a select group of people went, I wasn't really disappointed. It just meant intimate get togethers would always be my thing. I drank my first alcoholic drink on that day. I don't really remember which drinks people bought me, but I know for sure it wasn't over at the restaurant. I have a few pictures of that day at TGIF's, and I have a video taping of my night at e-dub - which I will never show any of you. I did the most interesting things that night. I ran around the block twice, I drank 151 as if was orange juice. I'll stop talking now before I release any boring memories.

The semester barely started and I was already tabling for freshman orientation. During those few days of sitting out in the sun, surrounded by the SAPhi and SOPi sororities, I knew I would have a crowd amongst my table already. Some of the people that signed up for Akbayan were the Villa twins, which I actually spoke to their parents, Urs, Meesh, Marius, Mark S. and mostly females. For some reason, the guys that signed up didn't really stay with Akbayan. That week brought many freshmen that kept the future of Akbayan stable.

Next, Akbayan and Delta Sigma Phi(?) worked together with BookCheck. I met even more people, like Plucky Duck on her shoulder girl. BookCheck was just two weeks of bag, staple, tag. I had the longest lines, but I didn't really care. The collaboration with the group didn't really last long. Fortunately, Akbayan was able to do BookCheck the following year, but that's about it.

Fall 2000 actually was a relief for me because I wasn't President, but at the same time, I knew I didn't have to be all serious with the organization. There was people who wanted Akbayan to succeed just like me. AJ was president and I was treasurer. There was enough backbone in the organization and people were interested in joining.

That semester was really just school. I will hopefully update this chapter after everything is done.

Feelings of success for others achievements

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The excitement of watching, listening, or getting texts of scores. For those of you who do not know, I am an ice hockey fanatic. (more or less) I love the sport. When someone says, "What quarter is it?" I quickly respond with, "Quarter? You mean Period, dammit." That was how it was before. I'm somewhat lenient about that whole issue because the game is my game and no one else's. No one can tell me to stop what I love.

The San Jose Sharks get passed the first round of the nhl western playoffs, thinking that their next opponent will be the Calgary Flames. According to the regular season, the series between the two was favored towards San Jose. Anyway, I look forward to this occasion because Sharks didn't make playoffs last season. I just hope that their outstanding achievements stick with them.

I'm watching Ghost World - HILARIOUS

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So, I know I've been a bit M.I.A. on this thing. The main reason is because when Aivy's computer got canned, her explorer started to whack out a few of the different .dll files. That is why computers have a tendency to screw up a lot of people's systems. Great, great, great, great, and great.

Parking sucks

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I'll keep this short, parking is a challenge, especially when residents take up two spots. With five feet of space in front and back, the inconsiderate audi is unable to move. Aivy and I got home, this Sunday night, and found that there's no parking. On Baker, PG&E is going to be working on the high lines for the entire month of March. Monday morning is a hassle because street cleaning is from 9am to 11am. The only parking that we were able to find was on Pine Street, which has street cleaning on Monday's from 7am to 9am. -sigh-

Going back to the audi, Aivy, Armando, Ralph and I are still irrate about the car that lacks the courtesy for other drivers. Aivy wrote, what you call, a courtesy note. Usually I wouldn't approve or support this type of behavior, but this car just lacked consideration. Sometimes I think the neighbors around here think they can do what they want. I walk home and find them parking the way they do. I stop and stare and just walk away shaking my head. I walk up the front stairs and get the mail. I begin to walk down and to my alley, I take one last glance and see the suspected car make a better effort in parking. Do they have to be told that they're bad parkers. -sheesh-

note: May the world be more open-minded towards others.

Success!!!!

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I fixed it. I did everything possible. I fixed Aivy's laptop. I'm not going to have it be over. You hear me! I'm yours...FOREVER! Now hug me.

note: I need sleep.

Splurging and taking the luxuries of life

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Ever since Christmas, I've wanted Smallville Season One. Two days ago, Aivy and I went to Best Buy to go look for In Living Color Season One. With our luck, it seems In Living Color still isn't out. So, we kept looking around and we found some box-sets that we can live with. I know I'm not much for foreshadowing, but yes, I finally got Smallville. An endless supply of ignorant Superman and Lana Lang. She isn't as hot as Angelina Jolie '93, in Cyborg 2, but having fantasies of movie stars isn't really my motif.

My Playstation 2 collection is still bigger than my Dvd collection. I'm on my 7th Straight episode of Smallville, trying to figure out why Lex Luthor has hair in the movie set, and in this series, he is bald like a baby. Especially in The Adventures of Lois and Clark, Lex Luthor had nice hair, yet tried to get Lois Lane to marry him. Another strange deciphering is doubting who the heck Lana Lang is. Does she change her name to Lois Lane, or is this chick just another character in this up-to-date Superboy? Enough with my infatuation with the Superman saga...


Chapter Six: Stress & Frustration


Before that semester started, we were on our trip to the slopes. It was Snow Jams' re-awakening. The trip before had become a little out of hand when the event decided to take a break. During my first two years, Snow Jams was always a hit for the Akbayan organization. My freshmen year, the trip was so hype that UCDavis showed up and decided to party with us. The 2nd year after my arrival, the folks went up Northeast just to find out that their first night was a total bust. They partied so hard that they lost the place. Too much noise and too much alcohol makes a college organization go hideously crazy, resulting in the cabin becoming vacant. Luckily, I didn't attend either of these events.

Spring 2000, my presidential era was beginning on the plus sign because Snow Jams was back on its feet, we had almost twenty-five people gathered and paid for. That wasn't my first time that I had went snowboarding, so I was ready to hit the black diamonds. The trip was exhilerating because I hadn't been to the snows with my friends in a long while. I met some interesting people and got to know some others when I got there. My trip began on that Friday night when Mark, Jerry, Michelle, AJ, Charlie, Heather and myself went on a trip that lasted a lifetime. We arrive, at our destination, to a cabin full of drug-infested houligans, burnt rice, rooms filled with baggages, and silence. First words from the people weren't "hello", they were "keep quiet, we already got a warning." This occasion reminds me of a particular year in the past. Let's make sure this never happens.

The semester had begun and I'm nearly a wreck because I've attempted to begin the semester off on a cold plank. The hardest job for a president is beginning a whole new semester with a brand new cabinet. All I know is that the crew that I had were down with making things better. Unfortunately, the first cabinet meeting only consisted of five to seven of the eleven members. I was heart-broken. I didn't let it get me down. I anticipated this happening. I wanted to make sure I would be able to get through this semester with my mind intact. My scariest reaction was experiencing my first breakdown. I wanted to cry and lock myself in the corner. My cabinet seemed to be falling apart. Even though it was Spring semester, I knew that something had to be done. The alumni that had always been there for akbayan started to fade out of the picture. Not just akbayan the club, but the fact that p.c.n. was coming, there was no dedication, or no momentum from year's past mainly because there was none.

Taking on task after task, I knew that if something needed to be done, you have to risk and sacrifice yourself and those who want it that bad. I wanted it THAT bad. I wanted this club, this organization to live on. Tabling and public relations was the first plan of action. My active cabinet and I had limited time tabling at the student union. Everyone's schedule didn't mix. I don't recall even having a real general meeting that year. I was able to stick with my tabling schedule. Three times a week I would set up the table and everytime we tabled I would take everything home. I was my own organization for a while. Even when other's tabled, it seemed like all they did was sit there. Tabling, phonelists, planning, and soon enough, pcn would take my life, literally.

In early february, sjsu collections came up to the table telling me that akbayan has two outstanding debts that needed to be paid asap. This is where I go crazy. The very last cent from pcn '98 was being used to pay off bills that were supposed to be paid for Showtime '99 vendors. It was, in my knowledge, platinum entertainments bill. I spoke to the past president and platinum heads and there was no proof or evidence that they were to pay it off. My stress level began to rise more and more. From that point, I remember it perfectly that akbayan had only $104.67 in it for the rest of the semester. One bill was for a mere $50. The other was so high as $840; such BS.

Next, akbayan was to pay off franchesca's mother for renting out the cabin for snow jams; a payment of $660. My head nearly exploded here. This is where my own money became part of this whole mess that we call budget. At that time, I had more than enough money, yet I didn't know that I would be earning money to pay off an organizations bill. -sigh-
The only few positive moments during this semester were Food Bizarre and some other event that I forgot what it was called. We made nearly $700 selling a plate of adobo and rice with a cost of $94. I was a bit happy to see something finally going in the right direction. The other event had to do with a filipino photographer's photos in the engineering building.

Finally, pcn had flown in and I was in enormous pressure and frustration. I wasn't going to let akbayan and pcn die out. If we didn't have a pcn this semester, there would be no such momentum to even have new members for the next semester. There would be no interested cabinet to move on to better positions in the club. This was my motivation to make things right. The best part about all this was it was my highest grade point average at that point. So, the end of february had begun and the script was nearly finished. I was starting cultural workshops underneath the dining commons, with Jaymar. The pcn committee was strong and ready to make a difference. I just remember that all the people that attended the workshops were guys. I knew that we weren't going to be able to have a quality show. All I needed was a decent show. One evening I was talking to the Singkil prince, Juan. At that time, people were chilling underneath the dining commons just fooling around. I was a bit relaxed, looking up at the moon. It was a crescent moon and I made promise to myself. I told myself that by the time I saw another crescent moon, the same size, the same shape, there would be practices at the dc getting ready to put on a damn good show on May 20th, 2000.

I had no idea what this new group of individuals would do to the future of akbayan. I just knew that the quantity had to be made. So, what if I put myself in seven of the nine dances. No one else was willing to step up, especially in the amount of time. That semester, I was president, wrote most of the script, developed backstage settings, prepared food bizarre, danced and taught dances, raised my gpa, and revived Akbayan.

Akbayan became my family in the beginning, so I treated it like a family. I did everything possible to keep this family alive. With the right motivation, you can do anything.

note: While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction, and there's nothing you can do about it!

The craziest thought put into words

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While driving at work earlier, I thought to myself about a bizarre topic that may interest you. Since the world is blanketed with different types of sexual intimacy, I wanted to know whose climax is better; male or female. On a guy's perspective, the male orgasm can last up to thirty minutes and maybe even more. Although, the average for an average male is 1.4 seconds. It is possible to experience such a longful feeling. As far as the female orgasm, the climax can last and prolong to build up to another forceful and desirable explosion. If the male species was given the opportunity to have multiple orgasms, a male would never stop doing the deed. So, the science of the male reproductive system was built to take on one orgasm at a time, sometimes two. The ability of two climax events happening pains the semenless tube. If this may occur, air may built up inside your genitals and leave an air bubble, which may infect your prostate. So, if you male's decide to pull off this stunt, don't! Don't worry about having more than one, just give your partner one after another after another after another. She'll love you for it. Shoot! You guys probably knew that already.


Chapter Five: Building Greatness


Fall 1999 brought together the introduction of a group of new people. New freshmen, new friends that could possibly take on a position in Akbayan. But before any of that, I would have to say that my education had become rotten. I don't even think my motivation for computer science was in my future. This was the semester where I finally started to take my education as a CS major seriously. the greatest part about the semester is the fact that I was taking ballroom dancing. I received an A+ in the class. It was the time when I believed that dancing would and could be a fun part of my life.

The other classes that I took were more affordable toward my general education than my major. I never even thought about the major that I was in. I never even researched the major that I began with. I had finally started to believe that Computer Science was not for me. I would come home and notice that my brother(Charlie), cousin(Lance), and roommate(RJ) were taking classes that were interesting to me. Industrial Technology seemed more my type of technical engineering. But, I wanted to keep CS as my main squeeze.

Taking Social Dancing, HUPS46A, I met some people that are no longer in my life. I remember meeting a female who I was crushing on, but I had no balls back then, and I don't think I ever did. Why on earth did I never have presentable confidence when I was single. Actually, I'm in a relationship, and I'm shy. I would have been the worst public relations officer. I never even had the balls to go up to someone and start a conversation to promote the club. The only time I was able to talk to people was when they came up to me. Can you believe this? Neither can I.

After a year at e.W.o, I found new friendships with my roommates and the people that lived inside that building. We weren't just roommates/housemates, we were a family. e.W.o, east William order, was a close household of brothers and sisters. There were so many people who lived, moved in, moved out, and just slept over because they needed a place to stay for the time being. My first set of roommates were Ryan, Anthony, Theo, Geof, Mike, and Charlie. The reason why we were able to fit seven of us is because there's four rooms. The venue was a place of comfort. There were so many visitors that we had. Even when none of us were home, we had guests. Girls were our main guests entered the House of Corinth. Every semester, I tried to rearrange my room because I was into variety. I couldn't have the same thing. While Charlie stuck to his layout, I moved my stuff around his half of the room. Overall, I should have just taken the single room. I would have enjoyed that room because I could decorate it anyway I wanted. The only reason I didn't want the room was because I was told it was haunted.

e.W.o was also known as the Akbayan house. At one time, we had a total of six cabinet members live there at one time. That was Fall 1998 semester though. We had Akbayan events; like movie night, lumpia rolling night, after-party nights, etc. The household had practices for pcn modern, friendship games roll call, cabinet meetings, etc. After the name faded, I still brought over people to celebrate whatever event they wished. I'm really hoping AKO takes over. It'll be a whole new generation of amazing parties and events, and SEX in that house. The amount of sex in that house was extraordinary. I didn't really contribute to this category until my last year at the house. The house is located on 11th & William St. with the huge tree and big parking lot next to it. We, at 502, made our education's transportation easy to come by.

Those were the days when kicking it inside the student union cafeteria was the thing. Even though it still is the thing, I mean, every type of click of friends kicked it there. We all eventually became close and started building up the tables into one long row of tables for everyone to sit with one another. I was always the quiet one to sit there and just listen to people talk. Whenever we weren't tabling for Akbayan, we sat in the SU just to chill or even do homework. There came a time when you would always see the same identical people sitting in a particular area. I don't know if it still is the same, but the African American students always sat in the front right area closest to the the SU hallway. There were older types of tables and chairs, and four-seater booths. There was the middle center table where we would put all the tables together and just chill. There was a time when that tradition stayed for quite some time, but in time, the back left booth had become occupied. The SU will always have its memories.

Akbayan used almost every single room in the Student Union for general and cabinet meetings. The Union was always easy to get to because there was a parking lot that the Modules took over, between the Corporate Yard and Business Tower. We used the Guadalupe, Umunhum, Pacifica, Costanoan, and other rooms. There were a lot of changes to the SJ campus. San Carlos was even a real street before I went to the campus. Wow! Even Pizza-a-Go-go was a venue for most of our meetings this semester. My life was bombarded with school and meetings. That semester brought on a lot of new members to Akbayan.

Akbayan was discovering a new foundation. Cheryl was president and I was some position. Every Tuesday or so, Cheryl and I would head on over to Sheppard Middle School to mentor some junior high students. They were a bunch of rascals, yet fun to watch them grow responsibly. After all, I always enjoyed visiting the kids.

That year, the winter formal was located at the Marriott Hotel in downtown San Jose. Renee fixed up my hair so that there was a bunch of tails on the top of my head. My hair was super long, so I was able to do something with it. I remember when my hair was 14-months long. My head was hot. The music was straight Techno/Rave music. I felt bad for the other guests because no one was really dancing unless hiphop started playing.

What seemed as a successful semester turned to crash and burn because cabinets were still semesterly. Not to mention that I was elected president for the next semester, Spring 2000. The fun begins here, and my leadership begins its raise to fame. Little did I know the struggle to keep something that meant so dear to me together. The decline of Akbayan members was failing, and nothing could be done.

note: nothing lasts, unless you truly want it to.

Identity runs in different directions

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I've always had the trouble trying to figure who and what I really am. If I am filipino, what is my true history? The people that I know claim, with pride, their filipino-ness. Not all, but most. Why is it that Filipino-Americans really have no identity that proves to us that we are our own? Pretty much, being an American makes us individuals that believe in what we do, or in what others think we should. We watch television and discover heroes, idols, and people to look up to. I've always wanted to be the person that people look up to. Although, I've never really made a difference or did something spectacular to be someone's hero. My kindness, patience, and friendliness has built my identity. Whenever my race is brought up, I just tell people I am American. I was born and raised in San Francisco, California, United States of America. My ethnicity is Filipino. Words can really make someone think different of themselves. Along with my digression of different topics, I don't grasp another person's way of life. I live the way I want to live. No one has substantially ever tried to change who or what I am. There was once a time when I wanted to be this way or that way. My freshmen year of high school, I wanted to be a teeny-bopper with the other incoming Riordan freshmens, Jason, Nathaniel, and Joseph. So, I followed them all to Stonestown mall to kick it with the Mercy SF girls in the center quad. I was once a follower who knew nothing of leading other's to freedom. Now, I am the gifted one to assist other's to their own identity, OR TRY TO.

Who do you masturbate to? Aivy admitted to me yesterday that she masturbated to Thomas Ian Nicholas, also known as Kevin from American Pie. I told her I stroked it to Alyssa Milano. I'm crazy about Shannyn Sossamon, but I wouldn't do that stuff anymore. I admitted it, can you?

My 3 Favorite Movies...
(1) 40 Days and 40 Nights
(2) Rules of Attraction
(3) Mighty Ducks 2
My 3 Favorite Playstation 2 Games...
(1) NHL2004
(2) Socom 2
(3) Final Fantasy X
note: Be your own person, be who you are meant to be. You're not them, they're you.

Knowing that a place can be a venue of happiness

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We've lived in 2915 for nearly two months and I don't know what my decision would be at the end of the twelve month lease. It doesn't take much to decorate such a small living space. The room is rarely warm, so wrapping ourselves in the comfort of blankets keeps the warmth inside. The food rations don't really bother much because food is easy to come by around here. The best restaurant for cheese steak is on Divisadero. I don't really know the name of it, only "Philadelphia Cheese Steaks" place. The five items that I touch the most in our place is my playstation 2, tv remote, refrigerator door, bed, and telephone to check if there are any messages. This place is so visitable, come one, come all. It's sad that no one really attempts to visit us. Oh well...


Chapter Four: The Separation of Two Powers


The era was the most confusing because the semester had started with a brand new cabinet. This was the first time I noticed that semesterly cabinets were totally the wrong direction to extending another successful semester. The downfall of Akbayan began and was taking a striking decrease in members, interest, and separate groups. The number of members didn't really make a difference from the usual, but the participation was in different interests. The Spring 1999 semester had its ups and incredible downs. The amount of money was sufficient to do some pretty daring and spontaneous events we could think of. By the way, that semester, we had two advisors, Dr. Navarro and Miss David-Sanchez, which was only available for the next two semesters, including this present one. We had our usual advisor, Dr. Navarro, who was always there and not there. She always wanted to be involved, yet we didn't really ask for her assistance because it seemed she wasn't the type of person we wanted around. Although, Miss David-Sanchez was the young looking advisor whom we went to because she was closer to our age. I didn't mind having two advisors, but why should one be better than the other because of age.

One of the events that was agreed upon from the past cabinet was March's incredible events that took Akbayan's funds straight into the red. I don't know if this information should even be public. Oh well! The two events that were one week away from each other were Kundirana and Showtime. The Kundirana event took all the money, that one can make from three average pcn's, and shoved it down the drain. The hype began in fall semester knowing that we can pull off a show like the one we did. We hardly did any pr'ing for this event, showing that the number of guests would be low, taking the funds from our own pocket. The tickets were as high as $50, proving to us that this event should have been planned more than or equal to showtime. The Kundirana kids are from De La Salle High School in the Philippines. They travelled all the way over to San Jose, California to put on a show for a total of sixty-five people. Don't we know how to grab interest from people in the Bay Area.

The seperation of two great powers had torn the interest of Akbayan apart. We had the strong social side and the bold political side that gained a lot of exposure by doing what they do. Everytime I was in a cabinet meeting that previous semester, there was always some type of conflict that had to do with how money should be spent. I didn't know what to think of the people. Seeing differently was and will always be involved in college filipino organizations. Although, that semester was strong enough to pull off a couple of successful doings.

The week after Kundirana, Akbayan and Platinum Entertainment developed Showtime, an outdoor showcase that involved singing/dancing, volleyball and basketball tournaments. The event collected an amount of two thousand guests on the 7th Street promenade of the campus. I had my fun being backstage for performers and a runner for both the games and performers. If only we knew that nearly one year later the campus collection would be walking up to our table to explain the outstanding debts that we had. Little did I know is that Platinum Entertainment didn't pay off a certain vendor that should have been paid before the show even happened. I'll go into this in Chapter Six.

The saddest part about this semester was the cancellation of pcn. Making this decision brought tears to many people's eyes. We lost a majority of our dancers because of the lack of interest that year. The alumni started to believe that their involvement with Akbayan was overdoing it. They were all taking part in a graduation event that year. That year, I was just getting used to learning so many dances. We were ready to dance up to ten dances, yet we never got to show anything for it. Girlie was the pcn director and all I remember and hear that she was heart-broken. The script was a bit bland, but the writer's put a lot of effort into the development of its creation. The idea of postponing the show until October of the next semester was brought up, yet shot down. The only reason we cancelled the show was the lack of funds, participants, and interests. We had a total of $200 without help with A.S. funding, a cast of thirty-four, and the show being far from ready to perform. The beginning of the end was creeping up on us.

My first experience with Pil-Grad was this semester. There was a total of twenty-five participants, and only five of them were in Akbayan. Ryan and I made a video for the graduates, which wasn't that bad. The event started on time in the last afternoon, in Morris Dailey auditorium. The cool thing was that the valedictorian of the whole SJSU class participated in Pil-Grad. This year, two of my roommates graduated, my brother and Ryan. From that moment, I knew I was going to make sure that Pil-Grad was going to happen when I graduate.

note: My vision started to begin from this point.

Sitting, thinking, and back hurting

I await the arrival of my bebeh because she went out to City Beach earlier to meet up with her friend Stephanie. The way I felt when she left was less ordinary. I didn't want her to leave, but when does she ever get a chance to hangout with her friends. People think our commitment is over the edge. Whenever someone asks where Aivy is, it's not, "Where's your girlfriend?", it's more like, "Where is your wife?" I have no problem with the way people think, but I don't want to smother bebeh and think that I'm not giving her enough freedom. We are a couple that just loves do things together. Her friends are my friends, and my friends are her friends. But, about earlier, I watched her leave as she drove out of the parking spot and drove off. I miss her.


Chapter Three: The Rise


My involvement in Akbayan was more than I ever thought it would be. I was never late for a cabinet or general meeting. The Akbayan cabinet had the greatest chemistry. The organization consisted of socials, politicals, and a balance of both. This semester smoothed out greatly and our efforts from the beginning of the semester to the last day was near perfect. We involved all new members in events that kept that active, even after friendship games. Thinking back to this day, there was no faults in that cabinet. We communicated, we kept composure with any downfalls that came about. We had money in the account, the profits jumped into our pockets, and each meeting was a popular success. You would think that this cabinet could not be outdone by no one else. Well, that's what I believed. We had what every organization had that needs to survive. There was the cute guys, the sexy girls, the leaders, followers yearning for leadership, and responsibility that was beyond greatness. Although, there is always disadvantages to perfection. During that time, Akbayan cabinets lasted semesterly. You can already anticipate a downfall, but let's stick to this era.

I was taking a bunch of my prerequisites for computer science. I didn't see myself taking my education seriously because of my participation in the organization. There are regrets during this time of my life, but I can't really guarantee that I would take what I did back. I did everything that I wanted. This was my first semester living two blocks away from school, and loving it. I remember now; I took my American Studies class that semester. I met so many people from just one class. We studied a lot on the 3rd floor of the library. I would think I was one of the motivators when we were studying because I was constantly ask the others a particularly question that we would need to know for the midterm. So, during that time, my education was still an important part of my life. I was taking a lot of my general education classes. I didn't know that the mixture of ge and major classes should be made to balance out your grades. It makes one think that you should do seriously in your ge classes and poorly, yet average in your major. Balance out your classes.

Fall 1998 was interesting enough for me. I met a lot of cool freshmen. I met Jerry, Christigale, Armand, etc. They were specifically known as Markham Hall, I guess. The momentum of such freshmen made the school year very easy to bare with. I just remember my visits to Markham Hall was increasing greater and greater. Actually, I visited Jerry's dorm, over at Royce Hall, a couple of times to watch movies and ask him to burn me a copy of music. My friends over at Hoover Hall, second floor, were fading out of my life and I was moving on with new friendships that were involved with Akbayan. By this, I found out that my friendships happened to follow the semesters with Akbayan. Each cabinet that I was involved with was my new group of friends. My main friendships were with my AMS group, Leighton, and the dorm people. Although, these friendships weren't meant to last as long, but let's move on from that subject. Let's just say that I was still unhappy. I never had that group of people that I can just call and say, let's go out and kick it. I shrug and wonder if I'll ever be socially happy.

note: That semester was mindless and somewhat new.

Breaks, resting and Valentine's Day

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Last February 14th, Aivy and I actually kicked back at my old house in San Jose. We did the couple love stuff; like ate lunch at a fastfood restraurant, played video games, and slept. Wasn't that the perfect Valentine's Day? Maybe, but I know this year we can do better than last year's. After being together for more than a year, love is stronger, so the things we do and the things we don't do always makes a difference. I want Aivy to be happy. I want her to know that I'm the right guy for her. Reading her entries, she plans this surprise day for us, but I'm still waiting to see if I can even get off work. We wanted to be tourists in San Francisco, but I guess we'll just have to wait and see what my boss says.


Chapter Two: The Beginning


During Christmas break, I spent my five weeks in San Francisco. I believe I was addicted to AOL4.0 and the PinoyPinay Chatrooms in Japan. That was a weird time in my life because I felt I was never good enough to find a girl in person, so I used the internet as a safe haven for my ugliness. I'm so glad that phase wore out soon and without a trace of remembrance. Although, I do return myself to the chatrooms in later years, not because of lonlieness, but boredom. I think back and remember meeting some interesting people. I don't quite remember any importance from any of those friendships, so I'll move onto my second semester.

By the end of the first semester, I was seeing myself in the company of the Akbayan cabinet, as Fundraiser Chair. That whole semester, I was intimidated to come up with any ideas, and when I did, I was somewhat ridiculed. It wasn't bad that my ideas were shot, I just didn't know the whole ordeal with issues containing money, members, and other non-sequential items. After the semester was over, I was ready to take on a higher role in the cabinet. I ran for Secretary against Christine L. Did I win? No, I lost like a turtle. I felt my participation in Akbayan was better off as a member. After seeing myself as fundraiser and losing an election, I just wasn't cabinet material. This information is included in the third installment, so be patient.

Spring 1998 was a big year for me because I was meeting a lot of people from PCN, Pilipino Cultural Night, practices. A majority of the dancers were in the dance group Barangay, based in South San Francisco - within time, I will also be in it and still am, kind of. So, my first commitment in my very first pcn would have to be Right Stage Manager at Santa Clara Convention Center. I took initiative as much as I can. A few nights before the show, on June 8th, 1998, I planned out the stage props, concreted each stage direction, and pretty much did what Ulo does for the past how many shows. I wanted to make everything easier for people to move on stage and for the backstage crew to flow like water. And guess what, during that show, my right side was the best side. Another incident happened during the second act. We accidentally put out the wrong scene. Imagine this, putting out a church scene in place of a living room scene. During that time, we only had 30-45 seconds to change scenes. By the time I found out what scene we were about to jump into, we were at the 10 - 9 - 8 countdown going. Within the last five seconds, curtains opening, and with pitch black vision, we pulled it. Darlene and the stage left crew were laughing at us. I thought we were tight to be able to pull off such a stunt. I never really go to see that show on tape. I only got to see clips of the show, and it wasn't good enough. I only have footage of practices in the SU Amphitheater. That PCN was my least stressed because I didn't really have to do anything that I would be at fault for. The story involved domestic violence, we managed twenty dances, and we made profit. Promise Ring was the last possible show that we would see a majority of all the senior/alumni dancers. Oh well, we managed. R.I.P. PCN1999

By the end of that semester, I picked myself back up in Computer Science and met a lot of new people. That year, the profit made from the show was used on the Spring Banquet, in which awards were given and people dressed up and had fun. This isn't the best way to blow all the money that you made from a successful PCN. The event was held at David's, a prestigious restaurant and country club. I guess we deserved it.

Late June, I moved out of Valley West and entered east William order, e.W.o, the House of Corinth. I would have been better off taking the single room to myself, instead of rooming with my brother. Oh well. No worries.

note: your motivation builds within as your self-esteem linearly aligns itself with your motiv.

From beginning to the present

---

Chapter One: Something New


This is actually my place. My roommate is Edison, and we're decorating our room over at Valley West Apartments. The date is June 1997, and in nearly a week is my 18th Birthday. In about two months, I will beginning my first semester at San Jose State University, majoring in Computer Science. The worst part about my major is that I really don't know what it is. My family knew and watched my skills with a computer grow. What the heck! My first semester was an interesting one. My classes included: Comm 20 (B-), Comm 41 (B+), Math 20 (D-), CS40 (A), and Physics 60 (A). The best part about that first semester was the feeling of cleansing, something new and refreshing. My years of high school aren't worth mentioning. I disliked a majority of my life at an all boy school. The greatest motivation can come from the torment and embarrassment that one's peers can easily take advantage of. Coming to a new city, to a new school, and meeting new friends with the help of old friends can really build a firm foundation.

Before I began my education, I was involved in a singing group, P.R.I.M.E. We were singing for almost half a year when we all decided to move into the same apartment. The hours of practice was fun, but I knew that I wasn't going to be dedicating my life into it. I wanted to pay attention to my college career in computer science. I was told this major needed a lot of study time, and I was getting comfortable with college life. Being the first year at a Cal State University in San Jose, my education will begin two years from my first day of class. The day that I finally took school seriously was actually three and a half years into it all. The reason why distractions were put in my path is because I was curious, just like any other person. Who would really want to ignore what school can give us, besides education. Walking through the student union, we collect flyers, free shirts for signing up for a credit card, and the faces of different organizations trying to persuade us to join their club. Oh, what the heck, I guess I'll go up to this table. I approach the banner and read the name, Akbayan.

My first semester of college was mostly dedicated to my friends that I met from A.M.P., Alliance for Minority Participation. This was a pre-engineering program that paid each individual for doing. Even though I was a computer science major, I still took some of the same prerequisites. I met a lot of people through this program, like Liza, Francisco, Sheryl, Michelle, Robert, Vontay, and many other people who I would be hoping to take my Calculus and Physics classes with. These people came, and, within one year, went. I don't know if it was me that left or if it was their busy schedules, but I guess I needed to find my way, or group of friends.

Eventually, through the semester, my interest in Akbayan grew. The passion wasn't as serious in the beginning. I was quickly brought into the circle because of my family connection with my brothers. I had two brothers that were already part of the club that had sparked my life to be where it is now. I don't know if my life would be different if I never had my brothers be there to help uplift my wanting to be in the club. The organization had some interesting people in it, but I still continued to be with my engineering friends. That semester, the only events that I attended were meetings, Winter Formal, and Friendship Games.

My first Friendship Games was the most amazing, but not the most memorable. In 1997, I took my very first drive down to Los Angeles with Edison, Melvin, and Francis. This memory may want to be very collected because it may be the only Friendship Games I speak of, besides 2003's. The moment we arrive at the hotel, we drop our stuff and immediately go hotel hopping with the boys. And of course, I was the designated driver. During those days, I hadn't taken a drop of alcohol yet. We met up with the most outgoing individuals and their hotel rooms full of drinks, guys, and girls. Coming from an all male school, seeing so many females was all so new to me, and I liked it. At the same time, I wasn't afraid to just go into any room at the Holiday Inn. I was offered drinks every moment I turned my shoulder. My answer was simply, "Sorry, I'm the designated driver." They congratulated me with the choice I made for the evening. At the end of the evening, my carload and I were locked out of our room with nowhere else to sleep. We went room hopping and chilled with some people we met. About an hour or two later, around 3am, we knocked on our door and the door slowly creeked open. After a few words of attitude with our roommates, we all slept comfortably. The whole weekend went well. We finished 7th with games and somewhere with SPUF. We came back early after a day at CityWalk (a hateful place).

note: The beginning of my memoires of college.

Drivers suck

---

The existence of nasty drivers can be set and branded into many different categories. In my eyes, I only recognize two types; responsible and careless. I may fall into the balance of both sides, but then that would make me a hypocrite with my own standards. If I say there's two types, how come I can easily invent a third option. That's beside the point, I want all to know what I think of the differences between the two. A resonsible driver has the ability to choose his or her choices when an event comes. When the responsible individual encounters a four-way stop, the first reaction would be to stop completely and issue the first person to their designated stop to make the first move. Instead, the careless driver will immediately creep through the crosswalk and nearly giving no time for the passing car to get across. As you can see, this is an extreme peeve of mine. Oh! And the use of the turn signal is required for a fricking reason. For those of you who don't use it when turning a corner, merging, changing lanes, and parking, why not save money on the purchase of your car and ask for no turn signals in the first place...

While I work, there are drivers who slowly go through a two way street looking for the destined house. Of course there's nothing possibly wrong with this; though there is an exception. Just to let you all know, if you're looking for something on a street and gives you the reason to drive super slow, turn your hazards on. There was a time when I though taxis were the worst drivers. The worst drivers to date are kids who are just always in a hurry, or they think they're in a hurry. On the corner of Franklin and Post, I was minding my business doing my job, looking ahead and seeing that I have a green light. I was heading toward the financial district of San Francisco, when all of sudden a black, two-door honda civic fob-ish food decides to creep forward through a red light. Littile did he know I was coming along at nearly 25mph getting ready to smash the chinese out of him. As much as think, I'll hit anyone that decides to cross my path illegally while I'm driving my (S) truck. I hit the brakes, he hits his brakes and I swerve nearly one foot from his front bumper pushing my horn loudly and constantly. And get this, he honks back. I look in my mirror and see his middle finger pointing in my direction. This is a perfect example careless driving...

My constant ritual for work is cutting people off, speeding, running many late yellow lights, make turns on no turn zones, parking in reds, whites, yellows, double parking, paying for meters and watching the meter maid ticket me for running out of time by 30 seconds, changing stations on my truck's radio, waiting for those damn pedestrians to walk across the street, listening to "hey buddy, you really know how to f#%^ing park", getting calls from customer service, honking my horn constantly, and last but not least, listening to my bebeh's voice to help all my frustrations simply vanish. As you can see, my analysis of careless versus responsible drivers is greatly noted and analyzed in my life.

note: most of my friends are careless drivers. a perfect doesn't make you responsible, just lucky.

The clothes are washed, but are they clean?

---

My evenings seem to repeat themself unless there is something or someone that interferes in the forward momentum of my day. As I was saying, ten o'clock begins the evening of television watching. The digital clock blinks 10:30pm which is thirty minutes ahead of the actual reality of life. The Simpson's tune harps the inner ear, sending me the message that my attention shall be made toward the animated tube of visual, horizontal ultraviolet lines that we call televised light. See? I do remember what I learn in my technology classes. Quick learn! There are 800UV lines that make up the lights on a computer or television. This is for the old school tv's, maybe not the plasma or high-definition tv's...

The King of Queen's begins with the usual introductory comedy line that most romance-comedies start with. Leah Remini is pretty, but very funny. For those of you who have the Stuff magazine, as Aivy-bebeh laughs out loud, the article is hilarious. And then the twenty-third hour of the day hits and we're watching Will & Grace twice. Eric McCormick, or the character Will, looks and reminds me of the CEO of (S).com...

The new day begins and if I'm still awake, I'm blessed with Becker. The show was of no interest for the beginning stages, but then the show was the only thing on at the moment that was worth watching. Usually I would be asleep by now, but lately, I've been awake until 2am watching Martin and Married With Children. So, as you can see, we have no such digital cable. This sucks, but we're progressing. We'll eventually get there...

The past entries that I've written about has consisted of nearly the same things. I know that this may be tedious and boring, but the only time I have different ideas are when I'm working. Obviously, I can't take a break from work and jump on the internet to type up an entry. If I was able to do that, that would be increasingly great. Although, I'm unsure if anyone actually reads this thing after being awake from it for so many weeks. Let's see how this topic is...

In with the new and out with the old.
Begin anew with a fresh cleanse.
With a virgin slate or mind clear.
Walking such feeling away with no such grasp.
Looking back every now and then with no criticism.
Do your thing and I'll do mine.
Letting go wouldn't have been so easy if the rise wasn't you.
Myself along with another is here and there.
Here is the place of venue that erects on own.
There we have the work that was once mine.
Soon enough the old is no more.
Closing thy eye with no remorse, no regrets.


note: If you are a guy and you're in doubt, find the closest female and ask her for the answer. With this, they are nearly always right. But when they are wrong, either ridicule them or keep your mouth shut.

Another day, another grief, another smile, and another...

---

The customers that I deliver to make me want to grab the top of their head, pull their heads from their shoulders, grab my hockey stick and slap shot their head into the millions of (S) bags that they are given. That's only for about 10% of the customers that I attend my services too. Walking up stairs over and over again, taking freight elevators in the financial district of the west city that never sleeps, yet I've seen this city sleep for almost a week straight. Just like some say, I dread work most of the time that there isn't enough drivers to help or assist the rest of us since the supervisors keep firing the other useful, but dishonest workers. For any of you that need a job, apply to be a delivery driver for (S), we appreciate any type of your help. For the short of things, I'll be in San Jose this Friday for two people's twenty-first birthdays. Hopefully I don't get off of work during the hours that make me accumulate three hours of generic overtime. Did you know that it is very possible to earn more overtime hours than regular hours. It's extremely crazy. --shrugs--

note: When you work, make sure you love it. This saying is so worthless because nowadays, people need any type of job they can get. And when we find ourselves competing with high schoolers for retail, food, or other types of employment, we know that the system of America portrays that youth should not be taken for granted.

Eighteen days later and the bahay and buhay progresses

---

Inheriting furniture just like when I used to take on the possession of hand-me-downs; ie. underwear, socks, shirts, clothes, and now furniture. I may have given you too much information just now, but I'm just keeping it real. Ever since the year began, the apartment has become more and more homesome. The other week, I moved and assembled an Ikea entertainment system where the new television sits in the more than given space. All three of my San Jose Sharks jerseys hang side by side on the far and opposite wall from the bed. In short, I love this place. I don't know if moving out next December is an option because the place feels and will get better in time. Even if I change jobs, I'm staying and Aivy told me tonight she's never going to leave.

As for work, it has its ups and downs. As long as it don't rain, I'll be fine. And it hasn't rained in awhile, maybe a little drizzle, but I'm maintaining. That's that.

Our only visitors have been the Cayabyabs' and immediate family. We have are 415 number and if you want it, just ask.

note: Too many games to play and beat. Fatal Frame 2 is scary. I don't want to play alone in the dark.

Sick sick sick...I'm always sick

---

First things first - Happy 2004 Year!!! My first trip to Las Vegas, the City of Sin. I never got a chance to say thank you to my van party, so Thank you guys for the ride. Hello hello everyone. I'm sitting here at Edison's house watching Goldmember, and I'm still a little sick. As for LV, Ulo - your venue is the shhhhhhhizzer. The city of sin was the worst, but also the best. As much as Ulo's house is big, it's too big for me. I enjoy the Cordovas' Las Vegas home because it's simple, new, and cozy. As for THE STRIP...

My first experience on the Strip of Sin was quite romantic, since I was with Aivy walking side by side through Caesar's Palace. Did I want to gamble? Of course I did, but there was other and better things to do than lose money. We got lost mainly because we couldn't find any main streets that will go back to the strip. Stupid eccentric streets that only go to the back of each casino. Just when we thought we nearly made it all the way through, we get a call from her parental units to go with us to eat at California Hotel. Woohoo! $3 New York Steaks and Potatoes. Yum. We went home and played video games. I slept in the upstairs niche on an air mattress. It was comfortable the first two nights, and then air started to flow out. By the last night, I was sleeping with my butt against the ground. Nothing bad, just would rather sleep next to Bubu...

New Year's Eve on the strip was quite interesting. Aivy and I chilled at Rose's house for quite awhile watching Jay-z videos over and over again. Then we got out and started on our way down the strip. Starting at around 945pm in front of Caesar's Palace, we walked all the way to New York New York and back to under the Paris sign when the crowd started to say the infamous saying "5-4-3-2-1" Happy New Year everyone! Soon enough, my lips were locked with the closest girl next to me at the time. So, I chose this one female with a black top, short hair and beautiful makeup. Aivy saw us kiss and then she started to stare at me. And then when the girl and I finished kissing, I told her I love her. And then Aivy told me she loves me back. We started to head towards the cars until some three girls started to become harrassed by mexicans who were disrespecting them. One got out of the crowd, while another fell to the ground. The third was just because touched and grabbed. Soon enough, one decent started saying "that's enough now." By then, we were out already. The night ended on a good note...

Now it is the 7th night of the new year, and I'm still sick. Bleh. Let's keep it straight, I'm never unsick. Eh!?

note: robitussin don't work. aleve works hella good, esp. 220mg. sleeping in sf in the super cold is not helping.

My goodness, I thought I forgot my username and password for this thing

---

So the night of hanging out with the homies and bebeh hit off with the bestest. I enjoyed seeing everyone and hanging out with the usuals, as usual. Drinking with the people who I thought I would never drink with - Irene. I had a feeling she had low-tolerance. If you haven't seen, check out bebeh's domain, aivy-bear, and you'll see some of the pictures that we took. So, as some of you may know already, Aivy and I share a eight hundred square foot studio in San Francisco, off of California St. It is dope. She was so surprised when Edison and I brought her along, pretending to look for an ice cream shop. Even though it was about three days before our big ONE, I couldn't keep it inside me no more. Mainly because, if I kept the secret from her for the next three days, then she would get madder and madder at me, and you never know what may happen. Well, anyway, we checked it out, and its been over a week at that place...

So, I finally slept there alone, last night, and it wasn't as bad as the first night there. A majority of my belongings are there, including my PS2. If my console wasn't there, I'd die. No internet, no common phone line, no cable, no nothing. Just regular television, thank goodness for UPN, and Playstation 2 keep me busy. It is like living in San Jose again, except there's no one else there. I share the house with six other residents, but I see them walking in and out of the upstairs places...

I'm excited to see what happens with place when the carpet is in, I have a laptop, internet connection, and digital cable. Aivy and I will survive...

COME VISIT US!

note: having a heater helps a lot during the winter. Brrr!

Today...

---

...I woke up with a sore lower back.
...scratched a dollar scratcher and won another ticket.
...I cried.
...played Dark Cloud.
...didn't have work.
...played with Chipbubu.
...packed up my car a little bit more.
...hugged Bebeh.
...drove to San Francisco.
...ate stuffed chicken.
...spilled coffee on Bebeh.
...chatted on AIM with Tediocarm.
...found out that Tigas Ng Ulo was away from his computer because he was in the bathroom.
...watched the San Jose Sharks blow a 2-1 lead and lose in OT.
...played with Armando.
...watched an episode of Roseanne where Jackie got pregnant.

One year ago...

---

The greatest part about relationships is the element of anticipation. You never know what's going to come up next. Especially when one whole year has passed by and you never saw it coming. Actually, every single day I saw what hope can bring to two people. It is the greatest feeling when everyday for nearly a whole year is like the first day you get together. So, in short, Happy 1 Year Anniversay to Aivy and Joey. I love you Aivy.

note: Never give up. The struggle, pain and happiness is worth everything when this figment of love is involved.

"I want a box of Cargo Cosmetics."

---

The gifts that I've purchased for this year's Christmas celebration has been put into much thought. I wasn't sure what to get some people, so I decided to do what I usually don't do, which is split with the brothers. Getting a great gift from three son's is better than three casual gifts, I guess. I don't know though. I enjoy getting multiple gifts than one big one, unless it's a laptop, desktop computer, xbox with helka games, or a brand new truck. I don't know. What the hell, beggars can't be chosers, so I say that whatever you get for Chrismakkuh(The OC), take it into sentiment and be glad for the season of giving, not getting.

Johnny Depp has always been one of my favorite actors in the business. Let's name some: Edward Scirrorhands, Benny and Joon, Crybaby, and Blow. All great movies. I want to collect all his movies on dvd. That'll be my THING for 2004. Along with building my PS2 games collection. I now own NHL2002, 2003, 2004, Socom 1 & 2, Kingdom Hearts, Enter the Matrix, Dark Cloud, and Rygar. Wow, a whopping NINE games. I want to own Final Fantasy X just for the heck of it. In the near future, I'll own The Sims 2, Final Fantasy X-2, Castlevania - Lament of Innocence, Fatal Frame 2, and The Simpson's - Hit 'n Run. Until anything worth purchasing comes out, I'll just be playing whatever I have. Games are fun, but being a Gamer is much better. I've achieved the Glow many times for many, many games. Legend of Zelda Series(minus Link's Awakening), including Ocarina of Time, Mike Tyson's Punch Out, Castlevania 1 & 2, Mega Man 1-3, Kid Icarus, Mario Kart 64, Super Mario Bros. 2 & 3, Mario World, etc. Beating games is worth the time playing. I also beat Metal Gear Solid 2 in four hours. I beat Halo in 7 hours. Max Payne in 4 hours. Legend of Zelda 3 in 4 hours. I love video games. Metroid Prime would have been quick, but I didn't own the game console.

note: helka (adv.) 1. great number of. 2. extremely or very much of. The San Jose Sharks game was helka fun to watch. latin: akleh.

laughing and sarcasm is what the world needs

---

The DJ's at the formal were the BESTEST!!!!

Las Vegas for New Year's Eve ya'll. Who's down?

Aivy, I miss you. Barrelmen- Paulo, Vesper, Aris, Adan, I miss ya'll already. Olympus, miss you nigs. Jonas, spoon buddy, much love. Thor-Cay, living a block away, still miss you.

6 More Days Until The Big One Year Anniversary. What do I do?

I'm happy because...
I have an incredibly wonderful girlfriend.
The San Jose Sharks are kicking everyone's boo-tay.
I have mucho BUKAS.
My own apartment is slowly, but surely coming into existence.
Kawawa, Chipbubu and Armando.
All the Bubu's of the world.
I have Rygar for PS2.
I'm in love.
Work is no longer stressing me out like before.

note: What is wrong with this picture?

I love my Bubu's

---

I'm glad a majority of you people's are happy with the outcome of the Tri-Formal. And Alexis, everything seemed to fall into place that really needed to. I'm pretty sure this will be the last possible time this type of event may happen...possibly. It was good to see everyone again, as usual. I got to the Convention Center about nine o'clock and couldn't find any open parking lots, so I parked, along with RJ and Tawny, in the outside, back parking lot near the outside skating rink. The walk around to the Hilton entrance was the longest, we should've taken the Marriott entrance since it was right there. Oh well.

The first person that acknowledged my presence when I walked to the big darkish room was Ted's "Joey!!!" The strange thing was the position of his seat on his table, his back should've faced me when he saw me. Once again, Oh well.

The evening went well and the fact that my date and I were missing for a good amount of the time after dinner was completely fair to say that, we DO what all couples do when we're dressed up. We...TOOK PICTURES. Get your minds out of the gutters and walk into the porn store already.

This formal reminded me of last year's, besides the fact that my date was there first, instead of me being there already and she coming later on. Along with the whole universe where everything is perfect, we had the most memorable night that as couple approaching one year could get. Love is amazing.

note: my notes should be more meaningful. no they shouldn't!

Zzzzzzz

---

I'm always tired. I'm sleepy when I wake up. I'm exhausted when I get home from work. I neglect my bebeh when I'm with her because I'm tired. Work takes a lot out of me. Thinking takes a lot out of me. It's incredible how much brain wave activity can make your body worthless of energy. When studying, the inner brain cornea takes pleasure in using that flow of blood to rush your whole body into becoming useless. Playing video games is tedious too. I'm just always tired.

Almost a year.

Listening to Oscar G. & Ralph Falcon - Dark Beat

The formal will be fun. The night will be like a reunion for me with my Akbayan people's and such.

Last Thursday, December 4th, 2003, was the first Sushi Night, where Aivy, Edison, and myself introduce the evening with Sushi tasting at a random San Francisco Japanese Restaurant. The weekly chosen venue was Nagano's, Geary and Arguello. Edison ordered the Nigiri combo platter, which consisted of twelve sushi that he can savor, yet shared a la carte with the other tasters. Aivy and I ordered the Philly Roll, Nagano Maki, Oregon Roll, and Spider Roll. Each had it's expertise in tasteful pleasures AND oh so delicious spices. We filled our dipping plates with wasabi and soy sauce and preceded. I enjoyed the sushi. The Oregon could have been better, but out of the four, not my favorite. The Philly roll didn't much please my tastebuds, but I wasn't dissatisfied. Spider Roll was different for me, somewhat, but I had no comment. The specialty plate, Nagano Maki, was very worth the cost. I can still taste the sushi in my stomach. The presentation wasn't the dull, plate and sushi deal. The cook took his time to make the plate decorative. The time put into a dish is always worth a plus. Overall, out of 10, I rate Nagano Sushi an 8.

note: You can get full off of Sushi only!

Proud & Pride

---

As the lights fade, everyone begins to slowly exit the stage. Jino stays on facing the audience.

JINO

"My verdict does not surprise me. Pulling strings, shortcuts by means of bribary, blackmail, threats. Guess what, that’s the lifestyle sometimes. Let me make my message clearer. Ninang once told me that such responsibility benefits great rewards…and superiority. She was never the type of person to backstab a friend or any type of business. Her way of the trade is now my way. I’ve seen the advantages, and dealt with the disadvantages. You can trust every single person that comes into your life. My grasp, my direction, my on-going success to the top will ascend. Others will not dare claw at my feet. They shall not pull me into that unfortunate lifestyle. Once at the top, I will help others out of the bucket, expanding this family, the Rosario family. (pause) One by one, my power, my loyal guards will see me as their uncle…their Don…their Ninong."

For some reason, this final monologue inspires myself. I don't know how it makes others feel, but with the right motivation, the attitude, the actions, it is what it is.