I think it's time to re-organize my life and see things the way they are...or the way they aren't. But on the other hand, the things in life are there for a reason. No more ice hockey...for now, and I just bought a new pair of ice skates. I will play again. Work isn't going anywhere, but up. Then why am I still on the first floor. Because heights make me dizzy.

So, Saturday was one of my lonely days where no one was around, I found myself isolated within my so-called sanctuary of a home. Spent many wasted hours in front of my tv playing NHL 10, where I could have been doing something much more meaningful. I was depressed and lacked comfort. Things are changing around me, but I'm staying put. While showering I did think of suicide just for kicks of finding myself swimming aimlessly inside my tub. But wait, no one's even around. I'd probably be all wrinkly before I was discovered. So, that thought left my mind and decided to drop some Benadryl because my hives were pretty bad. Within minutes, not realizing that I just took some drowsy medicine, jumped into my car and drove home to good 'ol SF.

As I passed 92 off of 101N, I am literally on my last thread of being awake. I even thought that I would run myself off the road because I would fall asleep. Luckily for me, I was safely in the driveway, napping for a good 5-10 minutes before going inside.

So, now I am here today, gracing my tendencies and my complaints with my life. Maybe my blood test will come back good. Are doctors supposed to give you bad news? So depressing waiting for what could change my life.

The fact that people make mistakes is inevitable, yet there is another brand of people who spread the fact that you've made the mistake. Is it a natural tendency to take out the legs of those who have felt the shame of failing their peers? Or is it what that person deserves for making such a mistake that more emotional abuse is warranted? I don't know, it just bothers me that yes, I feel the shame inside for letting my peers down, but for something as little as that. Grow up. Not even grow up, realize that mistakes are made and move on.

I've made too many mistakes in my life to repeat any of those mishaps. This is simply something too stupid and minor that I should even care, but I do.

LMF - Luck My Fife!

hello again!

It comes to my attention that 3+ years ago, I was turning 30.  Yes, I turned 30 in 2009 and don't even remember what I did.  Maybe it just doesn't matter anymore.  Life goes on.  This entry was modified on 9/19/2012.  Happy Birthday Paulo C.