Fire In The Hole!

Finding the fun and excitement in one's life is never easily sought. For some, they position themselves in a place where moving forward is inevitable, where many points in a journey will leave us lifeless, or in terms of left out bread: stale. I peek into the lives that have crossed my life. Their lifestyle may seem straight and spontaneous, but at the same time, the times you see these folks is probably the only time they do have fun.

My life is full of ups and downs, like anyone else. Dealing with the post-educational era of my life, I've managed to situate my daily cycle. Although, sometimes sacrifices need to be made. Employment is crucial and pickiness is sometimes not an option. For those with my job ethic, I set goals that are more than likely achievable. This may be a strange onset, but I want to believe that happiness can come from anywhere. True, I have a degree from a well-known educational establishment, which staying is not a career choice. There is something out there for me, for everyone, for you; we just need to find it.

Work can be fun and exciting, yet we, as coworkers, try not to make it too enjoyable. Like my store manager says, "You're here to make a difference, not to make friends." When he said that, I agreed with him. I can't help the fact that I'm a positive person who wishes to put smiles on other's faces. If it ever is a nuisance, just tell me to back off. Everyone knows that happiness is out there, we just need to find it.

Happiness is a great feeling, especially when you have someone to smile with. It being with family, friends, or complete strangers that you meet on the bus. Earlier today, I went downtown to find myself in a miscommunication hazard. Unfortunately, my work didn't have my new cell number, so they couldn't get a hold of me. My manager tells me to head on over to our store because four employees called in sick. Anyway, in short, I bussed it to my store and worked my time. With no stress, I made the technology goal. Goooo Comp! Succeeding in temporary goals makes me happy.

note: If you're cold, you can use me as another blanket.

Teamwork

Think of it this way, the group I work with are great, but to be put in a closed store with managers, supervisors, leads, and over-achievers is great. At first we stood around wondering what we could possibly do. But, just like being at our own store, we had to find something to do. Cleaning, sweeping, plano-ing, labeling, fixing, and with little effort, laughing and having a positively great time. Quite possibly, I'd do one of these store transformation cycles again, but my hours would have to early. I can't wake up and wait for work to start. My 730am schedule is SUPER!, thanks for asking.

Anyway, a lot has chanced lately. I've found a hint of confidence in my swing, my step, my life. I can't really say what's happened, but I'm in a place where nothing can pull me down...damn crabs. Crab mentality is a outward cry of neediness. Don't pull me down, I'll take your limb right off you.

ps. Have a nice day.

Roses Are Orange Too?

Oranges roses was never put into affect in my life until the other night. I always through there was only white, peach, pink, yellow, red, and purple. Anyway, that's the new thing in my life that started. I WILL FIND AN ORANGE ROSE.

Sore Throat

The fall season has always been a crucial period for me. The weather will not get the better of me. Mother nature is close to getting into my body, but I will fight any germ that flies my way...or crawls. I hate getting sick. First the sore throat, and then the unexpected sneezing. I've heard that a sneeze is 1/10 of an orgasm. Anyway, I decided to take action and took some cold medicine. So, cutting this short, take care of yourselves. Watch for that bird virus, if you're out of the country.

To her it may concern, get better. Take medicine, I did. Enjoy the off week. Study early instead of later.

Magandang gabi.

Me, Oh My

I'm going to go in reverse chronological order.

I showed up at my friends house and found out that they left. I went to my brothers house and they left. Who leaves their house at 3am in the morning? I was offered a place to stay, but then, as much as I wanted to stay, just didn't feel right, this time a long. But, of course, thank you for the hospitality. Unfortunately, since it was so late, and didn't want to be left in the cold if I tried going back, I took a mellow drive home. With the two hour nap, I was able to make it without my eyelids getting heavy. Plus, by the time I got to Skyline, there was a jog-a-thon, with all these lights and reflecters so that drivers would see them.

Last night was a barrel of monkeys. I didn't mean to fall asleep, but sleep took over. Although, when I woke up, I felt guilt, and intrusive at the same time. Even though I was there, studying was the main priority. But at the same time, I showed up unexpected which seemed kind of rude. I guess that's what makes me different from others; unexpected visits are ok in my book. So, in response, I'm sorry. It was good to see you though. Thank you. *wink.

Even though my back was a little sore, I decided to stubbornly play ice hockey. I can't let a minor injury keep me from my passion. On the other hand, if I didn't score or assist, then it would have been a waste, more or less. Well, I played, I loved it.

As for Friday, I fell off the ladder at work. I was on the fourth step and missed it going down. Fortunately, I was ok from the fall. Unfortunately, there happened to be boxes on the ladder, which landed on my back. Blah.

note: that's my weekend so far.

Late Graveyard Shift

I can't believe my schedule. A slight change in the hours. Instead of waking up at 630am tomorrow, I'll be waking up at 4am. According to the number of hours, I should be resting in my bed attempting to get some shut eye. Unfortunately, I am just not that tired. I got other frustrations and passions on my mind. Plus, I'm watching the ending of Alien vs. Predator, a typical love story between Predator and Human.

The movie reminds me of Starcraft. For those that know the game, you know what I mean.

I was looking through some of my old stuff and what do I find...
NHLPA HOCKEY 93- You could find this updated game in the movie Swingers. I have the '93-'94 season.

Some tell me that there is a point of no return. The situation either extinguishes or the spark turns into flame. Think about it, I am. Sometimes you just have to ask yourself if the risk is "worth the squeeze"(Girl Next Door). There are chances in the world that lead us into a happiness beyond any other. You don't necessarily know it is there, and you don't try to force anything upon it. Every step lingers into something greater. The analogy of the upward staircase. The first step is always easy because it was just the first step. After twenty steps, movement reduces, your heart begins to beat faster, and pain is easier set. Think about it, I do. On the other hand, we have the downward staircase. You're at the top of the world, but the only way to stay up is to believe there is another step to go up. As time becomes more stagnant, momentum plummets down the steps. Instead of take it step by step, you tumble, you fall, and the whole way down, it hurts more and more, until finally you hit the bottom. Think about it, I've been there.

I am on the tenth step. The middle grounds where you know you can turn back. But, at the same time, you're half way to a floor where there are unlimited possibilites of another twenty steps. This is the point of no return. I don't give up. I strive for the best. I make things happen, only because I want them to. For now, I live in the middle, holding out my hands to those who wish to follow me, step by step.

note: I miss writing like this. Good night, it is 9:48pm.

Where To Begin

For three consecutive Sundays, I've reintroduced a particular Catholic Commandment back into my life. Was it my choice, my decision? Yes. There was a boost of motivation on your behalf. In retrospect, you asked me to join you. My distinction toward Catholicism has been a bit skeptical for the past some odd years. Although Christianity is a blind faith, there are millions of followers out there. The Word of God is a righteous consciousness, yet the interpretation to today's teachings is vague. Society is wide-ranged. I don't believe that religious leaders can keep up with the goods and the bads. Anyway, that's besides the point. I go to church because it makes me feel good inside. I listen to the readings, the homily, the songs, and what nots. Some friends of mine believe my participation is because of an angel that has floated into my life. I believe that my family is what some say "non-practicing catholic" which is a term used by today's lifestyle. If you keep the faith in God, in Jesus, in the whole shabang, then you have faith of Catholicism on your side. I've always enjoyed going to Mass with close friends, family, or just friends alone. In high school, I went. In college, I went. For the longest time, I only went to midnight Mass during Christmas. Three Sundays ago I went to church because someone asked me. Two Sundays ago, I went because I wanted to. This morning, it was a bit difficult. I was in the lazy mood, but I knew that going to church would be morally valuable. We all must make decisions. Just think, an hour out of our lives, and most of us just lay in bed still. Decisions decisions decisions!

I've made a decision. The decision to make myself unavailable. What does it mean? Probably nothing. I'll wait. I've waited before. Where did that leave me? No where. My past experiences with waiting turned into two situations. The first occasion was about six months. That eventually went sour probably because of the distance, my ability to trust this person backfired on me. It was my fault. She eventually told me that she just wanted to stay friends. The second predicament was two years of waiting. Although, after the first year, we hooked up were official for about a week. And then we lost contact for three months. Don't ask me why I decided to pursue her again, but I did. This 'wait' was also long distance. Little did I learn from the first experience.

Now, I've run into a third. When I met her, I knew that waiting would be an issue. Fortunately, unlike the first two experiences, there's no distance. My desire for her increases. The serious talks have been made and I'm still here, she's still there. She studies, I work, and every weekend, we interact. I guess this is what they call taking it slow.

note: nursing is easier than engineering!

Another One Of Those Nights

Once again, my mind has forgotten what my topic would be. I think about it a majority of the day, and then finally when I sit in front of the LCD screen, I get a blank. Hmmm...

Here's one. Last night was the first time in a LONG time that I fell asleep talking to someone on the phone. Not because they were boring, but because I was extremely exhausted. Plus, it was one of those phone calls you just don't want to get off of. I would temporarily knock out, and then when I wake up, I immediately say "hello". And then she'll tell me to go to bed and I'll say no. Kiddie stuff. I wonder if talkin' to her last night was the reason why she didn't do good on her exam. Hope not. Sorry.

Whenever I'm driving, my thoughts collect. Woohoo! Thank goodness for commercials. A glimpse of the movie Flightplan just showed. I wanted to give my respects toward the movie. I honestly thought the movie was above average good. It wasn't great and it definitely wasn't perfect. It had its moments of excitment, suspense, and plot reaction. I'll keep my thoughts brief. The movie got me debating about her daughter. Was she really her imagination or was there a conspiracy? The movie went downhill the moment the air marshall revealed his true character. It just proves that you can never tell the difference between a controlled or uncontrolled mind. It seems we condemn before we judge sometimes.

note: You are at your cutest everytime you smile.

Heavy Eye Lids

My eyes continued to droop the more I stay up later and later. I should be sleeping by now, but I can't seem to. Probably because I'm online. I was thinking of a topic earlier this morning, but I completely forgot it. hmmm?

I'm about to fall asleep. Good night all. But before I go, this is me:

I am friendly;
I am supportive;
I am honest;
I am helpful;
I am graceful;
I am conservative;
I am quiet;
I am competitive;
I am witty;
I am romantic;
I am reliable;
I am hardworking;
I am a chance taker;
I am patient;
I am emotional;
I am sleepy.

note: Expect the unexpected and wait for the willing.