Body Aching

The past two days have opened up my eyes towards absolutely nothing. I just wanted to say a catchy, yet abnormal way of explaining the past two days. My work finally gave me the Monday to Friday schedule. Free weekends will be a part of my life again. It'll be like school, except I get paid. For the first eight or nine months with OD, I was the furniture lead. I was the guy they once called 'The Furniture Guy'. It was the reasoning behind it all. You can't simply be named just by the recollection on what your job title is...or is it? Anyway, as appreciative all my coworkers were, they saw me moving up into a better position. With the given nickname, I grew to make the furniture a part of me. I knew where all of it was. Someone would ask where something was, I immediately tell them which aisle, which top or mid-stock location, or even if we had it without looking it up in the system. As my assistant manager would say, "Joey has no life." Yes, I do. It's just I've become somewhat of a workaholic. I always need something to do. And when I do it, I finish and find something else to work on. The location of nearly three hundred fifty items just grew on me. But knowing the exact location, that's just absurd. So, they released me from that torture into the Sales/Technology technician specialist. In other words, I'm the lead on the 'tech' side. I have a crew of five individuals with unrelated traits. Will it be tough? Of course. Working from seven thirty to four, monday thru friday is a dream come true. Anyway, it is past my bedtime and someone's phone ran out of battery. So, I might as well hit the hay.

note: When you know deep down inside that you miss someone, tell them.

Internally

joey: i'm happy
alan: why
j: because the most amazing girl has made me feel the butterflies again
a: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Presence

Your presence makes time stand still. When away, I wish you near so I could memorize your presence when away.

Inhaling

When you are near, I breathe in, and take in the sense of you into my soul.

note: See you Wednesday.

No limits

Reyna screaming over the music: One more shot!
Me with eyes closed and swaying with the music: No more!

Listening to Aquagen - It's Hard For Me To Say I'm Sorry

The night was a complete failure. In short, we arrived early to the club. From the parking lot to the venue was the best walk. The wind just seemed to pass through my clothes like nothing. And then the club wouldn't take my money to get in. Pretty whack eh! Let's fast forward to the part where the shots and drinks magically refilled my glass. My friends danced while I walked through the crowd. As the alcohol flowed through my system, my eye sight became a blur. My stare probably freaked a few people out, except for those who I recognized. As I made my rounds, there was always someone new to say hello to. Everyone seemed to be surprised to see me...drunk. Let's move on. Other details why this night sucked was because shots were constantly handed to me. I remember, it's all your fault Vince. But I forgive you because you drove me home safely.

But wait...

I've never been drunk in public. We went to Serramonte Denny's where both Reyna and I sat at the table attempting to hold our heads up above our food. My eyes were closed while I ate french fries to prove that I was still awake. The manager was trying to rush us out. Whatever! We bought food, kinda ate it, and then he snatched the bill. Instead of bringing it to the front, he decided to be a gentleman and help us personally...like I said, whatever.

But wait, the night gets better...

I decide to sit in the bathroom just in case I need to prove my worthiness. Within five minutes, I'm laying down on the carpet with my glasses next to me. The cold gets to my skin, so I decide to get a blanket of some sort to keep me warm. Strangely, the next thing I remember is my phone alarm going off at 8:36am. My room light is on, my blankets are wrapped around me. I don't remember how I got into my bed. After fifteen minutes of searching, I grabbed an old pair of glasses and made my way up to the bathroom. And there you have it, my glasses on the floor.

The world turns in the opposite direction when you're drunk with your bestfriend. Like I said, Reyna...the night was a complete failure. Why? Because you couldn't stay up. Thumbs down.

note: My co-worker smacked me in the back of the head with a pen. And guess who apologized?

Future

So early this evening, during a late dinner at Jollibee's, a conversation about my life career came up. I want to believe that my career choice can be based on what's on my diploma, but the brisk of it all, I would like to do something that get me up in the morning because I want to go. On the other hand, would it be a waste of education if I didn't go into the IT field? The answer is beyond the control of others, but the response will always be noted. I find the process of the engineering field not for me. But, if I majored in it, might as well get as much experience before I do what I want to do. And what is that you ask. Teach. Teach math K-8. I've had comments about my backstage theatrical enthusiasm. Who knows my future? I don't. As for some, my definition in life is completely uncertain. It is never too late to start over. But I would never do that. I have a bachelor degree in my pocket. The bottomline is...

I want happiness before wealth. The career choice must be worth waking up for. Money making is important. Very important. I'll find wealth AND happiness.

I am currently eating a peach mango pie. Yes, can you believe it? It is like trying ranch for the first time. For those that know me, I am very picky when it comes to food. I'll pick out tomatoes, big or small, in spaghetti. I'll dip chips into salsa, but I won't scoop. So, what do you do when someone buys you food? You got it! You eat it. Thank you for the pie. I ate the whole thing.

Movie of choice: But I'm a cheerleader with Natasha Lyonne & Clea Duvall.
note: Work with the future. Don't let the future work you.

Some Things

Being aware of my emotions is one thing I've learned in the past. Before, I would take grasp of the feelings and assume return. Now, I caution in what's out there mainly because my vulnerability isn't the same anymore. The bottomline is...

I realize that patience is a virtue of mine that can't be broken, only if the senses within take hold of what can be changed. I look at life as a limit. There is always a stopping point. In order to take control of this limit, you must control the destiny of time. Instead of being on a waiting list that would never end, I met someone that defined a new happiness, yet new doubts. In thought, I constantly wonder if my doubts are just doubts. I care, but does she care. It shows somewhat physically, but not mentally. Sometimes the world turns quickly, and sometimes the world is in slow motion. I'm not entirely sure which direction the path I see. Believing in both situations is the only decision.

You are not just some thing that I want to be next to. I hope for some thing better.

On the humor side of the cranium, I went to L&L for the first time with Reyna. We sat down and noticed that one of the songs they played made us burst in laughter. It was a slow ballad type of song, and it kept repeating the ending. At first, it was the song, and then a long pause; about 3 minutes. And then suddenly it started playing again. And then the pause. And then the song, the pause, the song, the pause. They decided to finally change the song when we were 'lol'ing.

note: Kellogg's Special K w/Red Berries is yummy.

Feelings

joey: the new girl in my life makes me believe life is worth it
Yumi: awww, that is beautiful. im happy that ur happy my fren

alan: so did u talk to millet today?
joey: i saw her this morning
a: awww
j: we see a lot of each other
a: cute
j: it's amazing how things just work out between the two of us
a: i'm glad

Lately, I've been happy, yet a bit frightened. The feelings increase wondering if I'm putting forth too much at the given time. With the priorities at hand, I must bare with the necessities that she must endure. I want to be there for her whenever possible. I wonder if she enjoys the time we hangout. The other night she acknowledged that I make a slight difference in her life. Yes, we talk, yet there was a time when my brain stressed on something. Some people ask me if there's one thing I could change about them, what would it be? Obviously, I wouldn't change a thing. Individuality is kept when one has no need to believe in self change.

What goes through my head? At Adobo, I awaited her arrival. The moment our eyes met, I noticed that she wore nothing we shopped for. Oh well! We danced, we laughed, we smiled, she gave the looks as if we were the only two people in the room. We danced face to face and constantly stared into one another's eyes; well, at least I did. I hate the fact that I only find the courage to show affection when I've drank a little alcohol. For a brief moment, I reached for her hand, I closed my fingers over hers, as hers did mine. Although my face wasn't facing hers, my face was glowing. And then she let go. What did I do? I try to think nothing of it because it probably is nothing. It slipped. I shrug. Let thee know this, feeling her hand in mine was like gettin' an A on a test.

..to be continued.

Courting Vs. Dating

My question was "What's the difference between courting and dating?"

SAP: dating is when its official, like u agree to it, but courting it a thing where the guys do something to impress the gurl to get her to thik its a good idea to date

CS: nothing, isn't it the same thing? Or is courting more in terms of preparation for marriage?

LL: courting iz ol' skewl dating, or da older people'z translation of dating

GT: courting is like wooing..tryin to gain sumones affection, and i guess dating is actually both ppl going out and already having affection for each other

FG: Aren't they the same? My parents always use the term "courting", when they mean "dating"

PC: dating = interviewing
PC: courting = trying to get attention

TM: dating is non-commitment, courting is like u have intentions

JM: i think courting is a little more than dating

CP: courting is more like a "will u date me" period, dating is mutual interest

DR: dating is just going out...courting is like giving nutrition to a long relationship coming

My response was more or less like some of the answers here. I told her that dating and courting were actually the same thing. She explained her reasoning to me and opened my mind to the whole situation. I simply asked her if we were courting. She gave me the look and I requested that she not answer. We know A answer, but we wish not to go into it.

Courting is believing in wooing the girl over, and only her. Even though it is a traditional and old-fashioned, the intentions must be true and virtuous. If dating has become the new term for courting, the moral value faded from the meaning. On the other hand, the girl accepts the man with bashful violence. You say something sweet, giddy, or corny, and she smiles, looks away, and then takes a swing at you. You know you've done it because I can still feel it. Dating is more of the swinger lifestyle. Multiple courting is a term that most see dating as.

I also thought courting was the process before marriage. The most important reasoning behind either courting and/or dating is being true and honest. Beleiving that the person next to you could be the person right for you. Life is short when you're happy, yet long when you're unhappy. So, when happiness enters, take advantage of every moment. Look into her eyes until she looks away.

note: B.M.P. Rocks my socks!

Not Present

In the past, my reliability became one of my strongest traits. Lately, my ability to grasp this role is fading into limited amounts. While working at OD benefits from my skills, the partnership receives the bottom of the barrel and I'm not enjoying this ratio. I want to do something, but everytime there's something handed out, I'm not present. My assistance is just a call or email away. Other than that, I can't help out if I'm not told. And even if I'm unable, I take the time to find out what's available or what went down. Blah.

I'm unsure if I'll have the ability to write up a synopsis for Akbayan's PCN2006. I've had the idea in my head for a couple months now, but I'm not sure if comedy can be involved. It probably can, but it's not necessarily my style. Another consequence of the "not present" syndrome. If I'm not around, I won't be inspired to do anything about it. My leisure time is filled with baseball watching, soon to be ice hockey watching, bmp duties, etc. Maybe script writing isn't my forte since my stories aren't too compelling. Shrug.

It's just not like me to out of the loop. The only loop I'm in is work. Bleh.

note: Grab some pine, meat. Watch out for the orange and black.

Frustrations With Bureaucracy

First off, congratulations to Jerry Rice on a great football career.

Second off, the San Jose Sharks are playing once again at the HP Pavilion, on September 18th, 2005. Best off, I'll be there.

Third off, let's learn lessons from the tragic events in New Orleans. Mother nature was just not on our side this time.

After avoiding the New Orleans disaster, I caught up with the whole event. The emotions from the mayor of New Orleans was well-deserved. After seeing your city under seven feet of water, there are feelings of anger, rage, sadness, depression, frustrations...with bureaucracy. It sucks. Things I've heard why the government lagged on relief is because of racism and/or political incertainties. Yet, I will only go over that in person if you'd like. Prayers for the souls who suffer and had suffered their lives to this natural misfortune.

note:
Come check out this party my friends and I are throwing Friday, Sept. 9th! Everybody's gonna be there, I'll see you there too!

Add us Myspace!
Barrelman Productions - http://www.myspace.com/barrelmanproductions
Legend Entertainment - http://www.myspace.com/legend_entertainment

Namlerrab

Superstitions are not really my style. If you believe or even you don't believe, it only sticks in your mind because you let it. Like walking or going under a ladder, I do it almost everyday at work. Customers shriek when I walk under the ladder. It happens to those who believe in such myths. Other than that, luck doesn't necessarily affect my lifestyle neither.

As for work, there's been a bit of misfortune for 4 of the employees. Who knows why, but they're under investigation. As for my benefit, I will be transferred to technology department, instead of furniture. Although, I will most likely be paid the same wage, which sucks. Hopefully, in time, I will be working or getting a phone call from either HitachiGST, Saratoga Systems, Fairchild Imaging, etc. According to my sources, I have a possible chance with HitachiGST, if not, I have others and motivation to look for something better.

Also, on the mental note, I plan on purchasing and reading The Alchemist. My resources tell me that this book will broaden my future inspirations. We shall see.

As for friendship, some say that happiness is unattainable, but I believe that happiness is only gained if achievable. If you can think it, it's possible. But this philosophy doesn't cheer up emotions, it only makes you think.

What makes me happy? Wouldn't you like to know!