Let's leave behind the past year and look forward to the new


First things first, Happy Holidays to everyone who celebrates such a controversial season. I found out from the news that some retail stores banned the use of spreading Christmas cheer. Thinking back five years ago, I don't recall ever hearing of any religious issues that turned too many heads. Well, maybe more like five to ten years ago. Who knows when this all started? A majority of the United States celebrates. When I worked last week, I didn't want to spark up any religious issues, so I simply wished my customers a happy holiday. I just waited for customers to wish me a glad tiding before I wished them anything. Eh!? Over and done with.


Next topic, I MISS MY BABBLE!!!! It has been 12 days since I saw her last. It has also been 5 days since I've talked to her. And half a day since I received a text message from her. At least I know that she's ok. I am now scared about their extra trip to Thailand. For your information, Sumatra had a 9.0 earthquake, on Christmas morning, that has stirred up tidal waves, or tsunamis, heading in every direction, especially Thailand. Aivy and her family don't go to Thailand for another week, although, I do hope they change their minds. Before, I was just miserable because I was spending Christmas alone, now I'm scared for their lives. -sigh-


This Christmas has accumulated a lot of bad things. The snow in the Mid-West, the 9.0 earthquake in the Indian Ocean, and a few close family interruptions. What is happening? What will happen in 2005? Will I see Aivy again? I pray for her safety. I love her.

Surprising, yet not expected



Some of the weirdest methods for child raising stuns even me. So, this evening, I've become very familiar with the ways of my family and attempting to put us to bed. I also figured out what happens when we're sleeping peacefully in the backseats of the car. The parental units of my family seem to become more in tune with the ways of addictive drugs. I went to my god-sister's house to eat some leftovers from Thanksgiving, twas great. After dinner, we all discuss good 'ol times. It's amazing how much my family can really dislike some others. As I sit listening to them, they speak of family get-togethers over in Novato, where the kids became immune to the horrors of movie thrillers. While under the influence, my parents never noticed their children sneaking out of the back bedrooms to watch Aliens. At 3 or 4 years old, those movies were traumatic, but I seem to love those sci-fi movies now.


- Let's jump ahead twenty-one years later -


My little brother is one of the people I cherish the most in the world. He is growing up to become a talkative, well-mannered rugrat. I find out that his young mind shouldn't see the horrors of horror movies. As kids, my cousins and I weren't limited to what we watched, we turned out all right. So, I say this, should we let youth find out on their own, or shall we set the standards already.


I've been going back and forth between myspace and friendster finding out who really goes on either one. There's nothing else to do online. The first thing I do is go to my Fantasy Basketball league, the Charmane Classic. Next, I go on myspace just to check if I could find something interesting to read. I guess, from the time I got rid of my xanga account, I don't want to read any other xanga sites, trying to escape from the abnormal drama that everybody seems to be running into. I do leave my other 2-cents on myspace blogger, but that's just blabber.


Working at OD has increased my knowledge in the working world. I started off as a fulltimeer from the very beginning. Alonzo, the former manager, started me off as the fulltime department manager for furniture. I guess it was ok, although, I'm still learning the products. I get a discount on any of the items at my store, so if you want anything, just let me know.


Bored bored bored. I'm also sleepy. I can't sleep because if I do, I won't wake up when Babble calls to get picked up. I'm coughing again. That's the bad news in my life. Like I've said before, I'm ALWAYS sick. Hehe. I'm actually laying down on my side typing sideways. Here's some nonsense:

There's a particular person that I've always thought was a friend, but everytime I see this person, I'm outdone by it. Nowadays, I care not how people treat me, but I don't need some things in my life.

My movie star crushes are now Shannyn Sossamon, Elisha Cuthbert, and Alicia Silverstone. Hubba hubba. Haha.


HAPPY 2-Year Anniversary Babble. 10 more days! Can't wait to find out what you have in store. I love you.

Getting Back On My Feet

In just a few days, hopefully tomorrow, I'll be in the working field. Although, after two jobs of delivering, nearly 5 years of physical pain, I'll be in the sales industry. As hard as it is finding a job in the IT/IS field nowadays, it is just as difficult finding a normal, average-joe type of job. In my search for spending and savings, I applied for jobs, such as Department Assistant at Blood Centers of the Pacific, no call back, Strategic Office Solutions, called back interviewed rejected, Washclubsf.com, called back interviewed rejected, Cal Parking, called back interviewed on-call, and Office Depot, called back interviewed accepted. This among others, I have applications sorting through the process of the City and County of San Francisco. Let me just say this, if you're in school and haven't found an intership or co-op, get off your behind and get it. Those things are useful. I should have taken advantage of the opportunity, but I was caught up in other things. No regets now. But telling all those in the engineering/it field, there's a ton of internship positions working for the City and County of SF, SM, SJ, everywhere. Just look! Coming from a guy whose been through the Want Ads, Craigslist, Monster, Hotjobs, walk-ins, etc.

The job that I finally was accepted to was Office Depot. I went in asking for the Technician Assistant which was not even applicable, and came out with a fulltime position sales furniture department. Not very pleasing, but it pays whatever I have to pay for. During my interview, Mr. Duarte was pleased with my performance, and decided to offer me a better job. I didn't want the parttime job, so I accepted any job that was fulltime. Fulltime means more hours, higher pay, company benefits, discounts, and just a step closer to management. With my minor in business management, and my experience as a leader, I could make my life better in ways that I thought I couldn't. It all starts somewhere, right. "My downfall raises me to great heights." - quoted by Vesper, myspace.com

fav. song - Such Great Heights by Postal Service

Last night, Aivy and I went to this music concert last night at Yerba Beuna in SF. Very noisy music I might add. The first piece was interesting. Not much to say about that. By intermission, we made our way to the door and went on home. The most enjoyable part of the concert was the remarks made by Aivy. "Happy happy"

note: less crazy, more passive

Where is it, I can't stand it. Everyday that passes, I feel more reason to believe that everything is happening for a reason. The suspension, the hockey lockout, my unwillingness to achieve a damn goal. Is it the fact that I'm not getting anywhere because I'm not putting my foot forward. But I do. I do take initiative. I cannot lower my chin in shame, I must do what I must to expand my horizons with life. I cannot lose, I will not lose, I will not be defeated. I have the will, and the way to make things happen. I've done it once, I can do it again and again.

note: I'm going passively crazy!

visuals: The Sweetest Thing (2002).

I'm in a place where I haven't been in weeks, maybe months. After over a year of working for a place of aches and pains, I've become even more different from the rest of the drivers. Breaking down the situation, I've become a "wanted" man and I walked right into their trap. Let's rewind and begin this story.

INT grocery wherehouse area

BG forklifts and people speaking loudly

FADE IN

JOEY, 25, continues to walk up ramp, entering the backdoor of the grocery store. While entering, there is a number of people inside the office awaiting the arrival of this prestigious gentleman. Joey walks into the office to find the infamous, let's name them TONY & SONY, lovers of the corporate world. Immediately, I say hello to MARCO, 31, while being asked to spoken to by Sony. They walk to a secluded place to exchange words that will affect Joey, temporarily.

JOEY(calm): What's up!?
SONY: I don't want you to freak out or anything, but we're going to have to suspend you.
JOEY(shocked): Why? What did I do?
SONY: We received a call from customer service that you accepted gratuity from a customer.

Joey jumps back and realizes that what came around finally went around.

SONY: Please sign this. It states that you've been suspended for 3-days without pay. Although, I don't know if you'll be in any financial situations, so I'll pull some strings and see if you could get vacation pay.

FADE OUT

That is why I'm home now.

note: New job here I come!

listening to: Happy Hardcore - Mike Tyson's Punch Out theme

The greatest part about living away from home is simply living away from home. I don't know if some people know what this actually means. It means living dependent solely on your own. I've witnessed a lot of spoiled individuals this past year. Other than my own spoiled self, I can honestly live without the aid of my family. They have their own lives to go on with, and I have my own. Since December 2003, I moved out of my mother's home once again to thrive in my own achievements. Before moving back to San Francisco, in August 2003, I shared a flat with at least four roommates, two being my older brothers. There were times when I thought I wouldn't be able to live on my own, but after witnessing financial struggles, I can take control of the leisures and luxuries in life. Paying bills and rent is the main concern at the end or beginning of each month. I don't ask for money from parents or brothers, I make sure my bank account is balanced and has a legitimate amount of money to last until another pay day. The only assistance that I asked for, since living on my own, was laundry. Every now and then the dirty laundry was washed at the laundrymat around the corner, but sometimes, I don't feel like paying nearly $10 just to do two or three loads, washing and drying. Bottomline, if you plan on living away from home, pretend there is no one out there to help you.

This December is the one year anniversary at the Pacific Heights home. It is also time to move out because the parking situation here is terrible. I think I've accumulated nearly a thousand dollars worth of tickets. Looking at the price of houses to lease in Daly City is cheap compared to San Francisco. Aivy and I plan to move out of this wasp-infested neighborhood. Soon enough, we'll attempt to find a place for Edison, Aivy, and myself somewhere away from the stresses of San Francisco residents. I've looked at craigslist and found this one place with a pool, at the top of one of those hills. It is nice! I'll show it to you when you get home, babble.

I have work on Columbus Day! Blah!
I'm ranked 5,588 out of 3,000,000 players online for Socom 2. Yay!
The LA Dodgers lost against the StL Cardinals. Yay!
I didn't win the Calottery on Saturday night. Blah!
I cleaned my kitchen and bedroom a little. Yay!
Armando Bear is the GREY ONE!

note: Fleet Week came and gone like a jet breaking the sound barrier.

to babble: You are mine, forever! Remember that because I love you. I cherish your existence in my life. My heart is your heart.

Favorite SF Eateries:
- Coriya Hot Pot City (Clement St. b/w 9th & 10th)
- Nagano Sushi (Geary Blvd. b/w Arguello & 1st)
- In 'n Out (Jefferson St. b/w Jones & Leavenworth)
- Hunan Chinese (Divisidero St. b/w Pine & Bush)
- Philly Cheesesteak (Divisidero St. b/w Bush & Sutter)
- Extreme Pizza (Fillmore St. b/w Sutter & Post)
- Safeway (all of them, esp. Geary and Webster)

I was going to write something really interesting, but I totally forgot what the topic was. Bebeh and I were in Ziggy on our ride back home from Marco's birthday, but the "topic" slipped my mind. Well, until next time, be good, take care, and welcome home Bluey. You're still loved even though you're missing a passenger seat. (wiping tears of happiness) Yay Bluey's back!!!!

note: sentimental means passion for.

At the moment...
...hungry.
...missing my bebeh.
...upset that the Giants have been eliminated from the Post Season.
...wondering if the 49ers will tie up this game against the Rams.
...trying to keep myself warm because San Francisco's weather is cold.
...watching my Socom Online rank get better and better.
...figuring out how I'm going to raise money to pay off rent.
...want to rearrange apartment, but it's too cold.
...making Mando dance.
...wiggling my foot.
...determining my future with the presidential election (Vote for Affleck)
...typing out what I'm doing at the moment because I can't figure out what to write about.
...resting my legs because I had a long day at work.
...pondering about joining a union.
...praying for Bebeh's safe ride home.
...reading Ulo's xanga and agreeing with his view, why are Bay Area teams unsuccessful.
...laughing at a commercial where people don't know how to drive.
...digesting my Subway sandwich from earlier.
...hungry.
...SAFETY to Faulk!!!
...rubbing my cold feet.
...reading about the NHL lockout. (Depressing)
...wishing I had more money to spend on useless things.
...waiting for Bebeh to come home.
...getting sleepy.

note: Go... I don't know which team to support. 49ers!!!!

Giants still have a chance for the Wild Card. Astros must lose today or tomorrow while the Giants MUST win tomorrow. I can't believe the upset. Anyway, I can't let sports, such as baseball, let me down. I have to support the National Hockey League. The season must stay alive, or else I'll have nothing to support except the struggling, 'rookie' 49er team.
I've been a serious Giants fan for the past five seasons. During the middle of the
2000 season, I would get home from classes and hear RJ screaming for the Giants to win. Game after game, my interest grew while the NHL season took the majority of my excitement. By the 2001 season, I was watching each game with my roommates at 502, rooting for Barry Bonds, Jeff Kent, Rob Nen, etc. The 2002 season was the most incredible because they made it all the way to the World Series. That series was the most memorable for me because I stayed with them from game one of the post season. Unfortunately, they lost in Game 6 against Alfred's team, Anaheim Angels. So, grief during these games won't compare to that World Series loss. Giants are #1.

note: More later on.

Socks have been washed!

Every Wednesday and Thursday are my days off. I've constantly tried to get my Friday and Saturdays off, but I've been unsuccessful. Luckily, my weekends are no longer full time. Yay! The only disadvantage is my low paycheck. Fortunately, this Sunday, at 6pm, Bebeh and I will be in San Jose. We were watching Fresh Prince of Bel Air earlier, and during the commercial, our eyes lit up with excitement. We immediately called the toll-free number and found out the website where we could further our search. In little time, we purchased tickets online, printed the tickets out and posted them on the refrigerator. At the American Conservatory Theatre, the Broadway show, Rent, will have their last show in the area on Sunday at 6pm. The last time we saw Rent was in New York, two summers ago. Can't wait to sit in Row 21, Seats 58 & 60. If anyone wants to go, hit up the website www.amtsj.org and let us know if you're going. Yay!

note: Yay Rent! again.

Good morning, Blogger! You've been neglected.

Babble is awake. I moved the car and you still didn't notice I was gone. You must've been really tired. You are now telling me another one of your surreal dreams. By the way, we got another parking ticket. There was street cleaning between six and eight this morning. Phooey!

My work life is getting to the point where I'm ready to find a better job where the pay is four times as much as I make now. Ha! Well, lately, I've been training a bunch of drivers. Carlos, Claudio, Steve, and John have no knowledge of the San Francisco area. The streets are easy to find on a Thomas guide, but the one-ways are extremely high in San Francisco. I'm positive that any new drivers delivering to the financial district will start at 10am and finish about 5pm. The well-trained driver, like myself, could start the same route, at the same time, and finish three hours before them. My point is that our area manager, Sheryl, ruins my day because I'm finishing up my route early hoping that the others are done too. Unfortunately, I call their phones and find out they have 5 or 6 deliveries left. My supervisors don't get along, the drivers don't respect the supervisors, the store managers don't distribute enough hours to the shoppers leaving the drivers to "volunteer" to load our own trucks. In training, we're told the shoppers are to load our trucks in the mornings and while we're at lunch. I haven't clocked out for lunch in almost three weeks. Although, that doesn't stop me from having a lunch. The advantage toward the increase of "milked" hours is that my paycheck is just a little higher than the average.

Disadvantages exceed advantages.
(1) Limits the time I get to spend with my Babble.
(2) My body doesn't have enough time to recuperate for the next day.
(3) Dinner doesn't exist.
(4) Too tired to get anything done at the apartment.

Anyway

During the past few weeks, Babble and I have been trying to maximize the time spent with one another. We went to D&B's for Ted and Paulo's birthday. Fun stuff. The drive home with Babble was great though. I love you Badabbly bear. Can't wait to see what happens next.

note: Dear journal, I love bebeh.

Heading toward Milpenis to have a night with the birthday boys, bebeh, and the sj peoples. Yawn. Still tired from running errands today. Work sucks.

note: Eat me!

So you've finally discovered the term of "milking the clock"! Today, I went to work and found myself sweating like crazy. It's that drenchy-type of feeling when you jump into a filthy lake. You know the water is disgusting and dirty, but the feeling of comfort and relief once your skin touches that crisp water, ode to joy. In other words, the weather was blackening my skin once again. Every morning, I forget to put on sunblock or what not, and I go prancing out the door like a dummy. At least I lower my head when I work, or else my face would be pitch black already. A couple weeks ago, Aivy's sister comments about how dark I am. I didn't really say anything, I just sat there and ate my oxtail.

This summer has been the summer of food. More like, the summer of sushi because sushi is in my blood and sweat now. I suppose we could eat something else, but nothing else please's my urge for rolled up rice with, oh must I say it, bbq eel. To this day, I think I've eaten enough sushi/japanese food to last me until the age of 30. -sigh- I want sushi now. When I was in San Diego last week, I ordered this sushi dish called the Kitchen Sink. I forgot what it was, but it was very good. The strange name meant that it would take longer to make since they took forever to make it. It was worth the wait.

Speaking of San Diego, Aivy and I went on a short vacation down to Southern California. I've never been past certain areas down in Los Angeles, so I was eager to find myself awake during most of the trip. First off, the drive down to LA and straight to San Diego took no more than four and a half hours. You can find photos of our trip on Aivy's page. It was a good getaway of sort. The hotel room was splendid, the area where we stayed in San Diego was clean. I want to go back. The best part about the trip was going on another trip with someone I love. I know, how cheesy. It's true. Can't wait for another trip, when we have the money.

I've been preoccupied with my addiction with Socom 2 online. Although, Aivy and I will be heading out to the Southern regions of California. We hope to leave after work on Tuesday evening and be back by early Saturday morning. I'm able to call in sick for one day, but two days is stretching it. The trip consists of Los Angeles and San Diego. We haven't been out of the city since last summer. I think its about time to head out and explore something new.

I finally found the solution to my router problems. My first router purchase was from the brand name D-Link, which didn't work after how many times I installed and configured the network. Eventually, Aivy and I made our "weekly" trip to Best Buy, where we exchanged the crappy D-Link router for the infamous Link-Sys technology. After the second installation/configuration, BINGO!, it works. Now, Aivy can go online, while I play my online games (OK! Socom, Go Barrelman).

The idea of buying a house in the Redwood Shores area has come up. That place is like my dream location, mainly because of the water ways that come up around the neighborhood. Listening and waking up to the flow of water is soothing, like living on a house boat. Have any of you seen the preview for that new movie where two scuba divers are stuck in the middle of the water? If I had a boat, I would look for them, but I'm not much of a sailor.

Speaking of movies, I haven't witnessed a summer with so many good movies. I don't know what it is, but hey, they're great. Let's name a few: Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle...oh wait, that's all I can say. I must say, it was a great movie. I do want to see a bunch of other movies, I just can't think of them right now. I had a date for the Harold & Kumar movie, her name is Bebeh.

note: Does anyone sit at home alone and talk to their teddybears anymore?

Who is your BF/GF? Aivy Roma Torres Cordova
How long have you 2 been together? 20 months 4 days
What is your nickname for him/her? Babble, bebeh, badabble
How did you meet? Triforce retreat/picnic at Lake Elizabeth
What was your first impression? she's late. i don't blame her, not everyone could be here on time
When did you first become interested? when she woke up at F'games 2002. I gave her a sensual head massage
What did you do on your first date? tried to watch Rules of Attraction, although, it was out of theatres already, so we went to csuh and talked in the parking lot.
How long were you 2 dating before becoming a couple? about a month and a half
How and where was your first kiss? 5th floor hallway of the Marriot outside my room, me against the wall, me pulling her toward me.
Who said "I love you" first and was it romantic? Bebeh did. Although, it just came out.
Whats a typical date for you 2? MAC shopping. no really, getting a bite to eat.
How often do you 2 see each other? everyday.
Who pays more often? whoever has money at the time.
What talents does your BF/GF have? reading comprehension, vocabulary
Sweetest thing he/she did for you? when I get home, I get notes from her telling her that she loves me. I know its small, but very sweet.
The nicest gift? Stitch with little ice skate shoes from Build-a-bear
His/Her best personality trait? comic/sexual/racist humor. a teddybear cuteness
Most annoying thing about him/her? telling me that i'm uncoordinated with clothes.
Why do you love him/her? she makes me glow, she makes me feel wanted, we laugh at the same things, we've become one.
What are the best memories you`ve had with him/her? our trip to NYC, trips to LA, waking up and sleeping next to her. Watching Simpsons and South Park episodes.

note: August is a weird month.

Today

Woke up and held Aivy and listened to her and played socom 2 online while aivy looked at offline websites and then got up to go eat but first went to go pay rent over on noriega and deposit some money at wamu so i have enough to pay rent and then went to the post office so i can mail my cell phone bill which led us all the way back to eat at yuen lee's over on broadway and stockton where we ate mostly seafood and rice although we had to pay for parking because there was none around fortunately aivy bought some pocky covered with chocolate almond & strawberry cream for me until we got back to the car and went to get pedicures near our apartment.

-pedicure- felt good, my feet are soft, my toenails are smooth. i think the lady massaging my legs with lotion tried to look at my nuts. Yikes!

Joey's Embarrassing Moments: (Leaving an Akbayan cabinet meeting at the modules while the African American Commencement Committee is next door)
Joey: "Don't even trip Ted, I'm black...from the waist down."
Ted: "Dude, do you know who's next door?"
Joey shocked.

note: Know what you're saying before you say it.

2nd Anniversary to JoshGumbi's blogspot (writing since August 1st, 2002)

note: Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle - MUST SEE!!!

It's been said that some movies are justified unless you watch while under the influence of a certain herb. The movie was hilarious. I can't wait for the dvd to come out. My favorite line:

Kumar: Come on, Dad...

Kumar's Dad: Daddy isn't coming on anything!

The empty, 254 seater, theater is surrounded with a roar of laughter.

I had no idea White Castle was a restaurant on the east coast. I don't really want to try it, but I would like a #2 at In 'N Out with a vanilla milkshake and well-done french fries. Well, not necessarily this instance, but the next movie I'll most likely see is Collateral with Jamie Foxx and Tom Cruise. FREE SCREENING.

This summer's movies haven't been this great in such a long time. Going back to the topic of smoking marijuana, I've never done it, but I've second-handed the hemp many times. Especially that one night in my Valley West apartment, the air was filled completely with a smell that I'll never forget. Just another reason why I don't want to put myself in the shoes of a drug entertainer. Shoot! I enjoy being an audience.

Movies that people say you should be 'high' while watching:
Dazed and Confused
Half-Baked
Dude, Where's my Car?
Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle
Mallrats, Clerks, Dogma, etc.

Looking at my times at the e-dub house, defining what a positive night would be between us, we find ourselves wrapped up in a memory that was once there, but will always be there. The presence of your touch has once again tingled with great delight. The smell I once inhaled is soothing my lungs with tenderness. Seeing the smile of your neverending glow has surrounded your presence more than ever. The emotions of understanding one another's thoughts is in our destiny. You are my future. Before I had let the feelings fade purposely because I didn't know what was willing to be kept. Now I know everything is worth the unconditional feeling we have, had, and will always have toward each other. Loving you is what I meant the first time spoken, love is why it hurts so much, love is why we care, love has true meaning in our lives.

-dedicated to my girlfriend, Aivy

Tonight was never expected to turn out the way it did. With the thought that a network cable was supposedly the high point of the night, the apetite between Aivy and I grew. We wanted some burritos, but we couldn't find parking. So, on we went to find a new place to feed our quench. Suddenly, Aivy brought up Hahn's Hibachi. I knew there was one on Polk Street, so I wanted to try and surprise her. Unfortunately, parking was once again destroying our motivation to have a successful evening. After 30-minutes of searching, we found a parking lot that only asked $10 until 2am. Finally, we found a Tapioca Express type of place that quenched our thirst needs. About a block down, we found a delicious Hunan & Mandarin restaurant. Yummy. We still have some if you want to try. Departing our dinner venue, we walked hand-in-hand up Polk Street to a few other stores.
The whole evening was amazingly special. After being together for so many months, we found the glow fade, but tonight, I knew that the glow had never ceased. I love Aivy, and she loves me. You never understand someone completely until you go through the struggles of the extremes - happiness, madness, sadness, and grief. I cherish every moment with you Babble. We may not say every single day, but we know, deep down inside, that we were made for one another. I'm getting all giddy just saying all this stuff. You make me giddy. The way you are is what I want. Nothing more, nothing less. But, if you can offer more, bring it out. (its been already brought'n)
note: The Last Samurai - slow plot, strong ending, powerful message.

TODAY

at the moment: Watching Jem
feeling: Extremely tired, concerned
dinner: Chicken marinated in lemon/soy sauce and pepper
love: Not being sick, Babble, my friends, and ICE HOCKEY
drank: Pepsi, Sunkist, Tropicana OJ, Snapple apple, Ocean Spray Cranberry Juice
played: Socom 2 online (ranked 9xx,xxx - sheesh, I'm on my way) Codename: barrelman
delivies: 26
weather: sunny, yet windy turned to cloudy and yucky
dessert: Jell-O chocolate pudding
hugged: Babble, Baby Nick, Armando, Baby Gina
drugs: Sudafed
hate: Drama, bad drivers, wet socks, bills
Giants: Lost 3-2
sports info: Ricky Williams retired at 27 y/o
worked with: Gus & Tom
lunch: El Burrito Taqueria (corner of Sutter & Polk)
waiting for: Bedtime and more dvd's
not forward to: Waking up for work
currently reading: The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
movies: Southpark and Mighty Ducks
wants: sleep...good night

As Wayne and Garth from Wayne's World say...
"I'M NOT WORTHY!!! I'M NOT WORTHY!!!" (while on knees bowing down with extended arms)

name that quote: "Eat penguin shit, you ass-spelunker."

note: -sigh-

First and foremost, happy birthday and best wishes on his 21st birthday, Chris B.  Sorry I couldn't be there this evening.  I hope you didn't get too wasted.  As for me, the evening went well.  The DSL is finally up and running - Socom 2 revival day.  I washed television and read a story that my friend, Yumi, linked to me.  Here's the link.  I read the whole story in one sitting.  I'm not really sure how I feel about it.  It is romantic, yet it defines love on a much stronger scale.  -sigh & shrugs-  I just don't know.  Mina.

note: Confusion reeks the mind.

Last Thursday was the moment of Fatal Frame truth.  I was able to beat the game in about 1o hours.  I plan on re-playing the game again and again so I can see the concluding ending AND alternate ending.  I also want to see Mayu dressed in leather and glasses.  -drool-  I'm going to try and go through the game in half the time now.  It shouldn't take that long since I don't really need to beat any monsters.  I've upgraded my camera to the fullest.  I just need to find the additional lenses.  Ok...enough of my video game nerdiness.
 
While walking home from work, I thought my life had become so isolated within my own confined space.  I'm at an all-time low of socializing.  The only thing I enjoy doing is getting home and playing video games or watching television.  Will it ever change?  There are the enjoyable times when Aivy and I are just sitting around the apartment lounging and relaxing.  Honestly, I want to visit the homies in San Jose, it's just too far.  I guess I've become a lazy person.  -sigh-
 
Ulo- I trust you...seriously!
 
I saw Dodgeball with Edcay.  The movie was hilarious.  Edison commented about the "lesbian" part and the fact that the whole movie, we were curious about the couple of females sitting to the left of us.  We wondered if they were lesbians...we were right.  The next few movies that I plan on watching, with whoever wants to go, are Bourne Supremacy, I Robot, Resident Evil: Apocalypse (September), and The Village.  Gosh!  I love Summer movies.  It's weird how the person who was my friend when I was 10 is my closest friend when I'm 25.  I look forward to moving in with Edison, Aivy, and possibly Charles.  Oh damn!  Video Games galore. 
 
SBC DSL on July 27th, 2004!  Woohoo!  Socom 2 Online & NHL2004 Online.  Barrelman's coming back! 
 
note:  I'm the middleman - my ears are always open to listen. 
 
 

Tonight, I sit in my apartment wondering where my life is leading. I honestly tried to apply for this one job that I found on craigslist, unfortunately, I couldn't find my resume and cover letter. This totally sucks.

I'm scanning through my mp3's on the disks. I finished all my chocolate fudge stuff. I'm attempting to clean up for the past couple of days, but I keep getting lazy. I really wanted to watch Dodgeball at the Coronet, here in San Francisco, but the stupid phone was all distorted from dust malfunctions and the phoneguy had to come in. The furniture all had to be moved because Mr. Leroy, the SBC Guy, had to get to the phone jacks. Although, he did install new phone jacks, costing $55 to my next phonebill. Goodness. I could have done it myself. Blah.

I watch Will & Grace and be bored. If I didn't have work tomorrow, I would have went to Aris and Albert's house party. -sigh- I want to die. My life is at a halt.

note: Don't graduate.
 

Three Things

 

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:

1. Joey
2. Gumbi
3. Don Hipol
 
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1.  Ability to never quit
2.  Patience
3.  Gracefulness

THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1.  Boring
2.  Slow thinker
3.  Bad with vocabulary
 
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND:
1. Pilipino identity
2. Females
3. Synonyms 

THREE THINGS THAT ANNOY YOU:
1. Drivers that don't signal
2. Drivers that speed in the residential districts 
3. Dust
 
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Isolation
2. Zombies
3. Nightmares
 
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Wallet
2. House keys
3. Cell phone
 
THREE people or sets of PEOPLE YOU SPEND/TALK THE MOST TIME WITH:
1. Aivy
2. Edison
3. Akbayan people
 
THREE THINGS YOU CAN'T DO:
1. Make sense
2. Lead
3. Fly
 
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Ice hockey
2. Video games
3. Smile
 
THREE THINGS YOU WANT REALLY BAD RIGHT NOW:
1. DSL
2. SJ Sharks season tickets
3. an IT job
 
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Safeway IT specialist
2. Technical support @ Downtown SF business
3. Videogame tester
 
THREE PLACES YOU WOULD GO ON VACATION:
1. Maui
2. Canada
3. San Diego
 
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Live
2. Love
3. Wonder
 
THREE THINGS YOU ARE GOING TO DO TONIGHT:
1. Play NHL2004 Dynasty mode
2. Chat on AIM
3. Watch the Simpsons
 
Thanks Kathleen, you gave me something to do before I go to bed.

I would like to thank everyone who attended my birthday surprise at the Hoo!

Edison...finally you've managed to spend a birthday with me. text: happy birthday JO ey!
Aivy...thank you for keeping my birthday in check.
Charles...interesting how small this world really is, but anyway, thanks for coming.
Kathleen & Chris...knowing that you guys made it with smiles on your faces puts a smile on mine. text: Happy Bday, Joey! -love, Kathleen n Chris
Ted...you were the only that RSVP'd from the very beginning, you the man, thanks.
Paulo...when I first found out you told you couldn't make it, I was saddened. As the event came closer, you somehow changed your mind and spend the evening with me. Thanks.
Wingmen...my friendship for you guys will never seize, unless the wingmen disban. that's not likely.
Tawny...having you at my birthday puts a smile on my face. Good Morning Sunshine.
Ladies of 101...with a little variety, you helped the ratio between guys to girls get better. but hey, we're all friends. thanks for taking the time to make it to the Hoo!
Mark...Dark Mark, thanks...for not getting to messed up. It's my birthday, remember.

other texts...
Ken: happy b-day joey before it hits 12, hahaha, sorry i can't make it (it's ok, I saw you a couple days after)
Flowerboy: Happy birthday bro Call me when your awake.
Kris: Happy bday! have a good one.
RJ: dude...happy bday
Reyna: Happy birthday bro, love you lots. -reyna
Gina: HaPpY BiRtHdAy!!!!! (case sensitive my dear)
Yumi: hehehe if only...happy birthday
Adan: happy birthday gumbi

note: Thanks and congratulations to all my fellow Cancer babies.

Chapter 12 - An Era Less Forgotten

i. SnowJams2003

ii. Spring Semester 2003

iii. Tapioca Express Tuesday/Thursdays

iv. PCN2003 "The Ninang"

v. Pil-Grad Commencement

I finally got Edcay to come with us to the snow, moreover, anywhere. It was freshmen year when Edcay went on an Akbayan outing. And look now, nearly five years later, he's in the driver's seat. I was excited to go up to the snow mainly because it might be the last time going with Akbayan, or its because I was with someone to share the snowy hills with. Inside Edcay's vehicle was Aivy and I with our snowboards stretched across the backseat and trunk. When we finally got to our destination, the snow was not that bad. We didn't need chains for the ride up, but the snow looked beautiful. When we arrived that late Friday, some of the folks were already comfortable in the cabin. The group of snowbayans were comfortable in the cabin that we had used once before. Later in the day, the rest of roomies arrived and we had a pretty late dinner. But, of course, we had no problems with the amount of noise made. The Saturday morning, I woke early assuming we would get to the slopes by 10 or 11, unusually, we were arriving at Northstar about 1am. I wasn't disappointed. We only paid for half day. The first few hours, I got to teach Aivy the basics of snowboarding. I failed as a teacher. She hurt herself and I went off to go on some of the other downhills. Sorry Babble. That Saturday night, some of us decided to play 10 Fingers. I found out some interesting skeletons about a handful of people. But, no worries, confidentiality is what I'm used to. Sunday was short, we all went out ways after eating Sushi on the way home. As for most visits to the snow, I've enjoyed this one in its own crazy way. For one thing, I got to play in the snow with Aivy, watch my friend freak a broom and walk the runway, and discover interesting stuff about people.

The month of January 2003 was the beginning of the end of my own era. I started my last couple of major classes with the motivation that I would get or attempt a gpa of 4.0. The list of classes that I took were Stats 115, Tech 20, Tech 162, Tech 168, and Tech 169. Fortunately, I was able to finish the Industrial Technology, ECT, Program without taking all those extra courses that they've implemented. Beside that, I had found my rightful educational plan of action. I was ready to become a San Jose State University alumni, with a Bachelor of Science Degree in the previously named course. Although, I do not believe that my focus is based on the Engineering name. If we were part of the Engineering, why doesn't the end of my major end with Engineering. Unless, the name of my major is Industrial Technology Engineering, but then, in the pamphlet for incoming Frosh, there's a list of all types of Engineering, except IT. The last time I saw, IT was a branch off of one of the original Engineering categories, like Electrical. I find myself in a hopeless future, wondering if my current job is where I'll be for the next fifty years. But with much determination, I will and shall become better. One should not stop where one has finished, but succeed in the goals that come from accomplishing a previous dream. When I finished my last semester, my education had become a priority in my life. And for once, I was proud to say what my gpa was...a 3.0. From my Fall 1997 semester, I thought that achieving anywhere near an honors grade point average was impossible, especially when there are females around. In high school, the only female influences in my choice of education were the teachers, coaches, and administration; all which were not worth a second look at. My first few classes were general education classes that accounted for my new class settings involving the female gender. This new style of education lowered my grade point average significantly. You can also say that college wasn't as easy, nor was it harder than expected. My final semester determined my growth of adulthood and responsiblity.

That semester was the most relaxing because I already knew it would be the last. I wasn't going to accept a failing grade in any of my classes. I succeeded in a B+ in 20, A- in 168, C+ in 115, B- in 162, and B in 169.

Some of the other events that had happened that semester was the coming together of the Tapioca Express people, mainly Raina, Kat, Gwen, and myself, among others that could be named, but I shall not. You know who you are. There is a list that we made together, along with a few others, maybe this may spark a memory..."You Go To S.J.S.U. if..." We made a list of 47 possibilities. I'm pretty sure any one of us can come up with a few. On Tuesday and/or Thursdays, I would exit my AutoCad class and find outside in front of the Student Union, a select, but certain few that would always be interested in going to Tapioca Express. My drink of choice was and will always be Mocha Snowbubble with Brown Balls. I found an interest in taking a walk to the nearby liquid vendor because there was a wanting to be. A need to be in a temporary longing that had a particular yet shallow goal - to get to the destination and buy a drink...with BROWN BALLS.

Writing the script took many stages. During the summer, I was manually writing line-by-line each scene that went with the plot. Although some of the scenes were deleted, I was able to write up a decent script for this year's Pilipino Cultural Night...ahem...Philippine Cultural Showcase. I encouraged the change of the name, but then I found out the significance that changing the name isn't the answer. The storyline had become into effect when having dinner with some friends when we were mentioning different types of stories that we can use. And then, boom, The Ninang idea gave birth, almost one and a half to two years before it was showed on stage. The only disappointment was the fact that my story was severely edited by the coordinators. I've been writing scripts since 1998. I don't think I'm the best script-writer, but I do know that my imagination hasn't been torn from its place. I own a notebook with dozens of short stories that only a few have read. These stories were made when Akbayan decided to do skits for PCN, instead of a main story. The skits were successful, unfortunately, none of my skits were used. Were they too profound, were they too confusing?

In The Ninang, I opened up all my emotions because this PCN would be my last, well, at least performance-wise. After this show, I will always be back to support this organization. From the very start, I considered Akbayan some type of family figure. There's no mother or father, but siblings, brothers and sisters that have always been there for me in amazing and astonishing ways. I will never forget any of the cabinets that I've participated in, or any of the people I've met from the organization itself. According to this semester, I was able to meet particular individuals that I was able to get to know even more. Can you guess who these people are? One individual was my Chacha partner, Alexis, and seems to be a very good friend. During practices, we would make sure we got the moves down. Obviously, she was like the assistant teacher to Aldrich. She was a fun dance partner and she was always willing to put up with my grief. You're the bestest! I guess Alexis couldn't get enough of me, so she had me as her Tango partner. That's for you Alexis, since you keep asking me why I don't write about ya'll.

I finally achieved Prince for Singkil. I attempted to make my own sword and shield for the dance. Unfortunately, the significance of the shield and sword had nothing to do with the dance. They were too flamboyent. Nearly a week before the show, I was working on the shaping and sanding of the pieces. Some of the nights where I wasn't at practice, I was stressing on getting my pieces finished. I was scared a few nights because the tools weren't responding with what I wanted. I spend so much time on the sword and shield, I never learned the whole routine. The first night was better than the second night because Kat and I ran into each other during the second show. I'm not really sure if people noticed. Teaching the fangirls was the beginning of my feminine experiences of gracefulness. In past PCN's, some of my friends told me that their parents thought I was gay. I'm a hetero, but I like to dance with grace and like liquid.

Everyone in the show, the veterans, the freshmen, the newby's, and the kids that just like to hang around, they all made that night special. Thank you Akbayan PCN'ers of 2003. Oh! And sorry for messing up during my solo.

Pil-Grad Commencement was a success, but not entirely what I expected. It was my last big job to do as an Akbayan leader, and I feel I've screwed it all up. Yeah, the event was another memory in the Akbayan yearbook. I was expecting to gather a group of twenty graduates and have a big Pilipino Graduation. Instead, I put on an intimate family type of get together. My fellow graduates all helped me out with putting the event come together. Sacha, Kat, Mike, and RJ all helped in their own ways. Sometimes I wish there were more participants, but I must accept what was given to me. I admit that I was a bit lazy, but mainly because PCS was my main priority during the semester. I didn't multitask. In short, Pil-Grad was great!

College was a great experience. The many friends that I've met kept me motivated to keep on moving forward with my goals. From my friends from the very beginning to the very end of the ordeal, I made what I could with my life possible. Remembering those who dropped in and then out of my life will never be forgotten. Each individual has played a very significant role in my life. Along with the movies and shows that had entered my life, they all mean something. There isn't a friendship that I took for granted. Some of the major friendships that I've considered greatly in my life are Edison, Leighton, Ted, Paulo, Alexis, Tawny, Liza, Tricia, and Mike.

For the reader's, I don't expect any of what I write to inspire you, or even motivate you, but I want to make my life known. The fact that I've managed to get through a stage in my life that some think is pointless at times. We all change our majors from time to time. We all stress over the frustrating. My life was how it was, and now I must take what I've learned, store the memories, and make room for what is to be determined by life.

note: I'm still working on these chapters. They aren't concrete. More to come.

...continuation from joshgumbi's xanga site

Today, my tension has risen to its very high and climatic point. I exploded with rage and anger. My temper had never been released from its cage. My veins rushed with blood running reverse from the normal flow of motion. While on my feet, my inner redness rushed to my brain exploding with rage toward the victim. I wasn't sure what I was saying, although I knew my feelings were being free. I'm sorry. Anger must be patient and emotion should be wholesome.

On the upside, I attended P.A.S.A.'s Pilipino Graduation (Pil-Grad). I helped out with what needed to be done. I was asked to sing the Philippine National Anthem which I was unable to do. The event had started late this evening mainly because Marco, Sylvia, and I attempted to run an errand that took a bit longer than expected. The worker that tried to help us was clueless. He knew what he was doing, yet he was slow at it. Stupid-head.

Am I turning my back on my own background? No! Akbayan is my family forever. Yet, they still do not ask for any assistance from me, their alumni. Unless they ask other alumni. Speaking of alumni...

So, from time to time, Aivy explains the issues of certain alumni leaving me in shock. The criticism and "concerns" toward any filipino organization has been made to evolve and adapt with incoming leaders. As an alumni and former student of SJSU, I've always welcomed anyone that was interested in the Akbayan spirit. Akbayan has had its low and high points in the past. When I started this organization/club, Akbayan was succeeding and achieving greatness. We had connections that I hadn't discovered until later years. Although, things began to change when 1990's alumni decided to dropout of the whole Akbayan scene. It wasn't the fact that they gave up after the cancellation of our own PCN '99, but they saw that the new generation of Akbayan members were changing. During PCN '00 rehearsals, assistance was needed to teach dances to some of the rookies of Akbayan. The connection between the two was unpleasant. To this day, friends still recall those days as uncomfortable and irrational. (Yes Ted, I'm talking about you) Anyway, in short, some alumni can be exclusive. I feel I've become an outsider with my own organization. I wanted to watch both shows this past year, but work had taken that away from me. And if anyone knew me, I'm very dedicated toward my priorities and things to do. I also cannot believe I missed Akbayan's Pil-Grad due to commitment toward other situations. I apologize to those that had graduated. And also, Congratulations!!!

next entry topic: Chapter 12: The Finale - am I really done?

what's in my...
PS2 = NHL2004 (videogame) Southpark or Matrix Revolutions (dvd)
wallet = one dollar bills
pocket = keys (left pocket) cell phone (right pocket)
GameCube = Super Monkeyball (soon)
Ulo = Ulo (duh!)
arms = Babble & Nick (the bear Marie gave Aivy for her b-day)


note: "I used to know how to dress, until I got into college."

- Sharks are a game away from ending their successful season -
note: why does competition in something I feel greatly toward excite me as well as frustrate me?

I admit that I'm addicted to some things. I enjoy making people happy. I still believe in others happiness before my own. I can easily make myself happy. Otherwise, I'd be a pretty boring and dull person. With that point in mind, I may appear to be a laid back type, but I just need to be familiar with the situation in order to liven up my party.

Chapter 11: Almost done.
The summer of 2002 was a blast. I was working as many hours as I could. I was hanging out with the homies every now and then, or whenever we got the chance. By the end of the summer, I was getting ready for the year ahead of me. I was situating the papers to make Pil-Grad Commencement a campus club. With the information at hand, I got through the primary paper work. All that needed to be done was the Constitution. Bottomline, I took Akbayan's draft and tried to formulate a new draft for the purposes needed for Pil-Grad. Over and over I was told to edit the Constitution because some of the information was vague and misleading. I guess I thought that since I was well-known in Student Life, I was going to be able to breeze by. I thought completely wrong. I was faced by the wrong individuals to help me out. In short, I gave up. I never give up. I keep fighting for what should be done. I couldn't take it, I gave up.

I was back on Akbayan cabinet for the next two semesters. Will I be able to limit my assistance so that I can keep up with my studies? Actually, I was able to make my academic life a main priority. I was taking Technology classes and fulfilling my general education classes and business minor. The Fall 2002 semester was a great step toward what I really wanted to do with my future. The information and education I was given was well-documented. I wanted to learn. I finally found the true meaning of going and finishing school. I could actually sit in class and learn everything that my professors were teaching me. Maybe it was the fact that I knew I was finishing at the end of the year, I wanted to become a smarter person in the field I was in. Take what you learn, make yourself want it. If you don't want it, why are you there?

By Friendship Games, I promised myself that the trip will be memorable. I wrote once about my trips to and fro already. Let's talk about what happened during the games. I knew I should have done role call, but I didn't have time to make the practices during the week because I was studying. The Saturday morning went well. Everyone woke up on time, we all were ready to get our butts into the games. We step out of the hotel and its drizzling. I'm wearing my SJSU sweatshirt with my Akbayan shirt over it. I can only see it now, both Ulo and I with hoodies on and a video camera around our necks. We are bros. The rain seemed to drown out the inspiration of the games. Some schools were downright ready to get in the mud and splash around like duckies. I helped set up camp and walked around. I did the nomad type of stroll around the damp grass. As light appeared, so did the eyes of filipinos around the area. Spuf grew inside people's bodies. Friendship Games started off low, but the event ended smoothly and strong.
In short, a bunch of us went to Downtown Disney and enjoyed the LA environment, and the spirit of Anaheim's win over the Giants in Game 5. To tell you the truth, I enjoyed being with my friends in an unknown place. If only we can take trips like this more often, it would be so thrilling to see what would happen if we all went on a road trip. By the time we all got back, I made a decision that determined my love life completely. My first option was to go upstairs to my room and sleep. Earlier that day, I was invited to kickback and relax in Room 151 with some Pasa people. I came to the fork in the road, or the hallway. I was looking toward the lobby toward the elevators, while turning my head down that first floor hallway to Room 151. I stepped forward and found myself with a glass of green liquid in my hand. Aivy, Pasa's Treasurer, welcomed me to the room with guys and girls from the triforce, SJSU, SFSU, and CSUH. This was my treat for wanting my last Friendship Games to end with a bang. And now look, 19 months later, I'm in a loving relationship with an incredible woman.

A week later, Akbayan had an ice skating night. I was thrilled to be on the ice as usual. Although, during the week, I had an interesting conversation with a particular female. We chatted online and then I called her on the phone. I knew I would see her at the ice skating event. I was a bit nervous to see her away from Friendship Games. It took me awhile to go up to her and say hello to her. She looked great, she smelled great, and -sigh. Nearly five days later, we finally see each other again. The feeling was great.

The rest of the semester seemed a blur. I just remember seeing Aivy and eventually becoming her boyfriend. She was great then, and still is a great catch, even though she caught me.

Chapter 10: The Lighting Guy

The semester I finally decided to stray away from the pcn stage and take on the backstage position that I once took back in Chapter 2. The only reason I did lighting only is because I was more involved with Pride of the Pacific Islands luau. It was my chance to meet a lot of different people at San Jose State. With no surprise, I met a lot more girls than guys. Well, of course I did. Hardly any guys wanted to dance, which was no problem for me at the time. The luau was somewhat stressing because we weren't allowed to miss any practices. If you missed more than two practices, you were automatically cut. I know its discipline, but I guess I just wasn't used to it. That was how I wanted Akbayan pcn practices to be. But, after four years, I just couldn't handle being mean and an authority figure as much as one would want. I just made things fun, but at the same time, I got things done. Remember that you should get things done first, and then once you got things down, have fun with it. I wasn't really stressed that semester because I already started to feel motivated with my classes. I had time management down to the minute.

Spring 2002 was academically noticable because it was the first time I was getting A's in my classes.
School was interesting that semester. I tried hard to stray away from Akbayan's existence. I wanted to live the life of an M.I.A. Unfortunately, there was a lot of time that I had where I wasn't in class. Even though work kept me occupied, I was still doing my job pretty quick to be able to kick back in front of the Union...and waste time with people. The semester went smoothly because I was taking my minor classes. I was in a bunch of my Business Management classes.

PCN 2002 - Aking Pilipina (a success) I was surprised that I limited myself with this pcn. In the beginning, Chariss asked for assistance with the dances she would be teaching. I wanted to help her, but my classes had become my first priority. Little did I know was that she had everything under control. See what happens when you put a female in charge of dances. Things get done. I can't believe I was reliable with dances in past years. In time, I've become someone to look to for help with dances. Like now.

The competition between Pride of the Pacific and Akbayan showed significantly. Practices with pride were strict. So strict that people doing pcn didn't show because of their commitment to the pride luau. It was said that if you miss two practices, you were out. Although, with akbayan-pcn, if you miss practices, there were no understudies. It was either you were in or you were in. The luau went somewhat smoothly. The stresses of this show was a bit less stressing, mainly because I wasn't one of the main people in charge of the luau. Crazy stuff, but hey, I was considered a luau virgin. I met a lot of hottie chicks, yet no one seemed to catch my eye...or no one had an eye for me. And if they did, sheesh, am I that intimidating? Now, that the luau had diminished, time for pcn to march right back into my life.

The show was scheduled, once again on the same date as Santa Clara's. As a matter of fact, this was the show that Jonas Estrada went to instead of ours. And you claim him as your PCN Co-coordinator. -sheesh- The show was on its way. I was so able to do the things I've always wanted to do. The ability to interview people and talk with the cast and make sure the show went on smoothly, instead of practicing dances, teaching steps, getting the preparations ready for the show. My role in this pcn was lighting. Two run-throughs before the show, I was able to work with my fellow lighting consultant. She was very friendly. We had strange conversations about theater production, sex, and food. She was a sexually deprived individual. By the time the show came around...BOOM...I had my trusty red-orange booklet giving cues. FADE OUT to 80, FADE IN to 50. blah blah blah blah.

The show was over. I predicted the show would be great...And it was. My vision two years after the infamous re-arising of pcn 2000 was finally here. It came faster than I thought. People were hugging, everyone seemed proud to be akbayan, to be part of this show, and most importantly, feeling that akbayan would last without me.

My brothers Pil-Grad was coming up. The class of '02 was a huge one. A class of nearly 25 came and dressed in their black robes. They were an inspiring group ready to put on their last good-byes. My brother was there, along with some roommates that made life interesting. It seemed as if they had so much behind them to make this event successful. This was my motivation, yet just not enough for my own.

Chapter 9: Limited Participation


Fall 2001 - Spring 2002 Ted's Reign!

My education became the first priority in my life. I was taking my second major at state, and I surpassed my four years of post high school education. This fall semester was the beginning of the end for Akbayan, the start of my new education, and the quality of great friendships.

I've been living at e.W.o for four years and become very comfortable with my surroundings. I didn't really have much to participate in the house except for watching television and playing ice hockey.

Friendship Games 2001 was dull. The transportation to and fro were the interesting parts of the trip. I drove a fifteen seater with the most random and diverse group. Some of the passengers decided to smoke weed while we were on highway 5. Oh well, I didn't smell it in the van when I returned it. On our way, we stopped in Casa de Fruta, off of 152. When we were about to leave, we discover that a wife cheated on her husband. The affair met out there at their location and the husband found them. We watched the drama turn into a violent blood bath. Just kidding. The husband swung a few punches at the guy, while the wife yelled at both of the men. The two males ended up on the ground. My passengers and I just laughed and video taped the whole incident. Hilarious! Remember that Paulo!

On the way home from the Promenade in Santa Monica, after we all finished eating at Hooter's, with the ugly waitress that overcharged our bill and discovering that Tera Patrick was there too, Mark's suburban broke down a few exits after we got on the freeway. The time was about 6 o'clock. All the cars with us, minus three, followed Mark to his cousin's house in Los Angeles. Finally, the caravan began their trip home at 10 o'clock in the evening. We arrived in San Jose about 4am, tired as a mutha!

Filipino Heritage Day happened the week before friendship games. I didn't participate, I just watched.

My winter formal date that year was whack. Enough about that, I had more fun when she left with Ted's ex. (covering mouth) haha. sorry Ted. Had to say it.

Chapter 8: Spring 2001



Another PCN semester. The strength of Akbayan has never hit this peak, according to my so-called reign. That semester, the participation level was unbelievable. We had our pcn open house. Even an hour before the meeting, I was making calls to people so that they'd show up. And guess what! We had a damn good outcome. I remember the interns doing their job. That year, the interns were our famous go-getters to make things happen. Aris, Mark, Marius, Irene, and Suzanne(kinda) made it all happen. People showed up interested in doing the show. That year, we pretty much lost the support from a majority of our alumni. The only help that I could gather up were Ann, Jun, and some of Jaymar. Ann helped with Dumadel, Uyauy, while Jun helped out with Uyauy, and Jaymar with Kappa Malong Malong. And yes, I can be wrong with the dances. I just have my own way of teaching dances. It may take a lot of dedication, but hey, it will be done. That year, we found another great dancer and contribution to Akbayan, Chariss. PCN was held at the Santa Clara Convention Center. The only negative part of that show were the programs. They were somewhat whack, but hey, I made the whole thing in one night.

The skits were great. I starred in one of the stories. I played the white-washed boyfriend that gets physically slapped in the face. It stung. This was the first show where I had drama with someone. I was truly sorry that the drama had to unveil itself, but hey, I trusted people with my confidence. Oh well! You never know who to trust with your words. Does anyone know where my pcn 2001 tape is?

This was the first semester where I was an IT major. I registered for all Computer Science classes, but dropped them all for Tech198, Tech 60, and some other one. During the semester, I saw a GE advisor. I completed all my lower GE classes. Yay! When I tried dropping one of the CS classes that I had, I forgot to insert a reason why I wanted to drop the class. So, in time, I was sent a letter to turn in the reason. The only problem was that I didn't need the class anymore. Later, I was given a call to go in and see an advisor. She practically scolded and lectured me about my classes. She questioned why I was a fourth year student and coming no where close to a degree. At that point, something just hit me. Education had become really important to me. Most students believe in taking classes and hoping to just pass the class. At that point, I turned into a "I won't settle for anything but an A" student. And guess what, my grades started to go up. When I was president and co-coordinator of pcn 2000, I received a gpa of 2.81, which was my highest at that point. Tell me, how does someone receive a high gpa when I'm really busy, and not close to getting anything done.

Chapter 7: ReFRESHman-ing



The summer of 2000 was an amazing one. This was the summer I turned TWENTY-ONE. It was the day that I thought a bunch of people would actually come to TGIF's over at Valco. Although only a select group of people went, I wasn't really disappointed. It just meant intimate get togethers would always be my thing. I drank my first alcoholic drink on that day. I don't really remember which drinks people bought me, but I know for sure it wasn't over at the restaurant. I have a few pictures of that day at TGIF's, and I have a video taping of my night at e-dub - which I will never show any of you. I did the most interesting things that night. I ran around the block twice, I drank 151 as if was orange juice. I'll stop talking now before I release any boring memories.

The semester barely started and I was already tabling for freshman orientation. During those few days of sitting out in the sun, surrounded by the SAPhi and SOPi sororities, I knew I would have a crowd amongst my table already. Some of the people that signed up for Akbayan were the Villa twins, which I actually spoke to their parents, Urs, Meesh, Marius, Mark S. and mostly females. For some reason, the guys that signed up didn't really stay with Akbayan. That week brought many freshmen that kept the future of Akbayan stable.

Next, Akbayan and Delta Sigma Phi(?) worked together with BookCheck. I met even more people, like Plucky Duck on her shoulder girl. BookCheck was just two weeks of bag, staple, tag. I had the longest lines, but I didn't really care. The collaboration with the group didn't really last long. Fortunately, Akbayan was able to do BookCheck the following year, but that's about it.

Fall 2000 actually was a relief for me because I wasn't President, but at the same time, I knew I didn't have to be all serious with the organization. There was people who wanted Akbayan to succeed just like me. AJ was president and I was treasurer. There was enough backbone in the organization and people were interested in joining.

That semester was really just school. I will hopefully update this chapter after everything is done.

Feelings of success for others achievements

---

The excitement of watching, listening, or getting texts of scores. For those of you who do not know, I am an ice hockey fanatic. (more or less) I love the sport. When someone says, "What quarter is it?" I quickly respond with, "Quarter? You mean Period, dammit." That was how it was before. I'm somewhat lenient about that whole issue because the game is my game and no one else's. No one can tell me to stop what I love.

The San Jose Sharks get passed the first round of the nhl western playoffs, thinking that their next opponent will be the Calgary Flames. According to the regular season, the series between the two was favored towards San Jose. Anyway, I look forward to this occasion because Sharks didn't make playoffs last season. I just hope that their outstanding achievements stick with them.

I'm watching Ghost World - HILARIOUS

---

So, I know I've been a bit M.I.A. on this thing. The main reason is because when Aivy's computer got canned, her explorer started to whack out a few of the different .dll files. That is why computers have a tendency to screw up a lot of people's systems. Great, great, great, great, and great.

Parking sucks

---

I'll keep this short, parking is a challenge, especially when residents take up two spots. With five feet of space in front and back, the inconsiderate audi is unable to move. Aivy and I got home, this Sunday night, and found that there's no parking. On Baker, PG&E is going to be working on the high lines for the entire month of March. Monday morning is a hassle because street cleaning is from 9am to 11am. The only parking that we were able to find was on Pine Street, which has street cleaning on Monday's from 7am to 9am. -sigh-

Going back to the audi, Aivy, Armando, Ralph and I are still irrate about the car that lacks the courtesy for other drivers. Aivy wrote, what you call, a courtesy note. Usually I wouldn't approve or support this type of behavior, but this car just lacked consideration. Sometimes I think the neighbors around here think they can do what they want. I walk home and find them parking the way they do. I stop and stare and just walk away shaking my head. I walk up the front stairs and get the mail. I begin to walk down and to my alley, I take one last glance and see the suspected car make a better effort in parking. Do they have to be told that they're bad parkers. -sheesh-

note: May the world be more open-minded towards others.

Success!!!!

---

I fixed it. I did everything possible. I fixed Aivy's laptop. I'm not going to have it be over. You hear me! I'm yours...FOREVER! Now hug me.

note: I need sleep.

Splurging and taking the luxuries of life

---

Ever since Christmas, I've wanted Smallville Season One. Two days ago, Aivy and I went to Best Buy to go look for In Living Color Season One. With our luck, it seems In Living Color still isn't out. So, we kept looking around and we found some box-sets that we can live with. I know I'm not much for foreshadowing, but yes, I finally got Smallville. An endless supply of ignorant Superman and Lana Lang. She isn't as hot as Angelina Jolie '93, in Cyborg 2, but having fantasies of movie stars isn't really my motif.

My Playstation 2 collection is still bigger than my Dvd collection. I'm on my 7th Straight episode of Smallville, trying to figure out why Lex Luthor has hair in the movie set, and in this series, he is bald like a baby. Especially in The Adventures of Lois and Clark, Lex Luthor had nice hair, yet tried to get Lois Lane to marry him. Another strange deciphering is doubting who the heck Lana Lang is. Does she change her name to Lois Lane, or is this chick just another character in this up-to-date Superboy? Enough with my infatuation with the Superman saga...


Chapter Six: Stress & Frustration


Before that semester started, we were on our trip to the slopes. It was Snow Jams' re-awakening. The trip before had become a little out of hand when the event decided to take a break. During my first two years, Snow Jams was always a hit for the Akbayan organization. My freshmen year, the trip was so hype that UCDavis showed up and decided to party with us. The 2nd year after my arrival, the folks went up Northeast just to find out that their first night was a total bust. They partied so hard that they lost the place. Too much noise and too much alcohol makes a college organization go hideously crazy, resulting in the cabin becoming vacant. Luckily, I didn't attend either of these events.

Spring 2000, my presidential era was beginning on the plus sign because Snow Jams was back on its feet, we had almost twenty-five people gathered and paid for. That wasn't my first time that I had went snowboarding, so I was ready to hit the black diamonds. The trip was exhilerating because I hadn't been to the snows with my friends in a long while. I met some interesting people and got to know some others when I got there. My trip began on that Friday night when Mark, Jerry, Michelle, AJ, Charlie, Heather and myself went on a trip that lasted a lifetime. We arrive, at our destination, to a cabin full of drug-infested houligans, burnt rice, rooms filled with baggages, and silence. First words from the people weren't "hello", they were "keep quiet, we already got a warning." This occasion reminds me of a particular year in the past. Let's make sure this never happens.

The semester had begun and I'm nearly a wreck because I've attempted to begin the semester off on a cold plank. The hardest job for a president is beginning a whole new semester with a brand new cabinet. All I know is that the crew that I had were down with making things better. Unfortunately, the first cabinet meeting only consisted of five to seven of the eleven members. I was heart-broken. I didn't let it get me down. I anticipated this happening. I wanted to make sure I would be able to get through this semester with my mind intact. My scariest reaction was experiencing my first breakdown. I wanted to cry and lock myself in the corner. My cabinet seemed to be falling apart. Even though it was Spring semester, I knew that something had to be done. The alumni that had always been there for akbayan started to fade out of the picture. Not just akbayan the club, but the fact that p.c.n. was coming, there was no dedication, or no momentum from year's past mainly because there was none.

Taking on task after task, I knew that if something needed to be done, you have to risk and sacrifice yourself and those who want it that bad. I wanted it THAT bad. I wanted this club, this organization to live on. Tabling and public relations was the first plan of action. My active cabinet and I had limited time tabling at the student union. Everyone's schedule didn't mix. I don't recall even having a real general meeting that year. I was able to stick with my tabling schedule. Three times a week I would set up the table and everytime we tabled I would take everything home. I was my own organization for a while. Even when other's tabled, it seemed like all they did was sit there. Tabling, phonelists, planning, and soon enough, pcn would take my life, literally.

In early february, sjsu collections came up to the table telling me that akbayan has two outstanding debts that needed to be paid asap. This is where I go crazy. The very last cent from pcn '98 was being used to pay off bills that were supposed to be paid for Showtime '99 vendors. It was, in my knowledge, platinum entertainments bill. I spoke to the past president and platinum heads and there was no proof or evidence that they were to pay it off. My stress level began to rise more and more. From that point, I remember it perfectly that akbayan had only $104.67 in it for the rest of the semester. One bill was for a mere $50. The other was so high as $840; such BS.

Next, akbayan was to pay off franchesca's mother for renting out the cabin for snow jams; a payment of $660. My head nearly exploded here. This is where my own money became part of this whole mess that we call budget. At that time, I had more than enough money, yet I didn't know that I would be earning money to pay off an organizations bill. -sigh-
The only few positive moments during this semester were Food Bizarre and some other event that I forgot what it was called. We made nearly $700 selling a plate of adobo and rice with a cost of $94. I was a bit happy to see something finally going in the right direction. The other event had to do with a filipino photographer's photos in the engineering building.

Finally, pcn had flown in and I was in enormous pressure and frustration. I wasn't going to let akbayan and pcn die out. If we didn't have a pcn this semester, there would be no such momentum to even have new members for the next semester. There would be no interested cabinet to move on to better positions in the club. This was my motivation to make things right. The best part about all this was it was my highest grade point average at that point. So, the end of february had begun and the script was nearly finished. I was starting cultural workshops underneath the dining commons, with Jaymar. The pcn committee was strong and ready to make a difference. I just remember that all the people that attended the workshops were guys. I knew that we weren't going to be able to have a quality show. All I needed was a decent show. One evening I was talking to the Singkil prince, Juan. At that time, people were chilling underneath the dining commons just fooling around. I was a bit relaxed, looking up at the moon. It was a crescent moon and I made promise to myself. I told myself that by the time I saw another crescent moon, the same size, the same shape, there would be practices at the dc getting ready to put on a damn good show on May 20th, 2000.

I had no idea what this new group of individuals would do to the future of akbayan. I just knew that the quantity had to be made. So, what if I put myself in seven of the nine dances. No one else was willing to step up, especially in the amount of time. That semester, I was president, wrote most of the script, developed backstage settings, prepared food bizarre, danced and taught dances, raised my gpa, and revived Akbayan.

Akbayan became my family in the beginning, so I treated it like a family. I did everything possible to keep this family alive. With the right motivation, you can do anything.

note: While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction, and there's nothing you can do about it!

The craziest thought put into words

---

While driving at work earlier, I thought to myself about a bizarre topic that may interest you. Since the world is blanketed with different types of sexual intimacy, I wanted to know whose climax is better; male or female. On a guy's perspective, the male orgasm can last up to thirty minutes and maybe even more. Although, the average for an average male is 1.4 seconds. It is possible to experience such a longful feeling. As far as the female orgasm, the climax can last and prolong to build up to another forceful and desirable explosion. If the male species was given the opportunity to have multiple orgasms, a male would never stop doing the deed. So, the science of the male reproductive system was built to take on one orgasm at a time, sometimes two. The ability of two climax events happening pains the semenless tube. If this may occur, air may built up inside your genitals and leave an air bubble, which may infect your prostate. So, if you male's decide to pull off this stunt, don't! Don't worry about having more than one, just give your partner one after another after another after another. She'll love you for it. Shoot! You guys probably knew that already.


Chapter Five: Building Greatness


Fall 1999 brought together the introduction of a group of new people. New freshmen, new friends that could possibly take on a position in Akbayan. But before any of that, I would have to say that my education had become rotten. I don't even think my motivation for computer science was in my future. This was the semester where I finally started to take my education as a CS major seriously. the greatest part about the semester is the fact that I was taking ballroom dancing. I received an A+ in the class. It was the time when I believed that dancing would and could be a fun part of my life.

The other classes that I took were more affordable toward my general education than my major. I never even thought about the major that I was in. I never even researched the major that I began with. I had finally started to believe that Computer Science was not for me. I would come home and notice that my brother(Charlie), cousin(Lance), and roommate(RJ) were taking classes that were interesting to me. Industrial Technology seemed more my type of technical engineering. But, I wanted to keep CS as my main squeeze.

Taking Social Dancing, HUPS46A, I met some people that are no longer in my life. I remember meeting a female who I was crushing on, but I had no balls back then, and I don't think I ever did. Why on earth did I never have presentable confidence when I was single. Actually, I'm in a relationship, and I'm shy. I would have been the worst public relations officer. I never even had the balls to go up to someone and start a conversation to promote the club. The only time I was able to talk to people was when they came up to me. Can you believe this? Neither can I.

After a year at e.W.o, I found new friendships with my roommates and the people that lived inside that building. We weren't just roommates/housemates, we were a family. e.W.o, east William order, was a close household of brothers and sisters. There were so many people who lived, moved in, moved out, and just slept over because they needed a place to stay for the time being. My first set of roommates were Ryan, Anthony, Theo, Geof, Mike, and Charlie. The reason why we were able to fit seven of us is because there's four rooms. The venue was a place of comfort. There were so many visitors that we had. Even when none of us were home, we had guests. Girls were our main guests entered the House of Corinth. Every semester, I tried to rearrange my room because I was into variety. I couldn't have the same thing. While Charlie stuck to his layout, I moved my stuff around his half of the room. Overall, I should have just taken the single room. I would have enjoyed that room because I could decorate it anyway I wanted. The only reason I didn't want the room was because I was told it was haunted.

e.W.o was also known as the Akbayan house. At one time, we had a total of six cabinet members live there at one time. That was Fall 1998 semester though. We had Akbayan events; like movie night, lumpia rolling night, after-party nights, etc. The household had practices for pcn modern, friendship games roll call, cabinet meetings, etc. After the name faded, I still brought over people to celebrate whatever event they wished. I'm really hoping AKO takes over. It'll be a whole new generation of amazing parties and events, and SEX in that house. The amount of sex in that house was extraordinary. I didn't really contribute to this category until my last year at the house. The house is located on 11th & William St. with the huge tree and big parking lot next to it. We, at 502, made our education's transportation easy to come by.

Those were the days when kicking it inside the student union cafeteria was the thing. Even though it still is the thing, I mean, every type of click of friends kicked it there. We all eventually became close and started building up the tables into one long row of tables for everyone to sit with one another. I was always the quiet one to sit there and just listen to people talk. Whenever we weren't tabling for Akbayan, we sat in the SU just to chill or even do homework. There came a time when you would always see the same identical people sitting in a particular area. I don't know if it still is the same, but the African American students always sat in the front right area closest to the the SU hallway. There were older types of tables and chairs, and four-seater booths. There was the middle center table where we would put all the tables together and just chill. There was a time when that tradition stayed for quite some time, but in time, the back left booth had become occupied. The SU will always have its memories.

Akbayan used almost every single room in the Student Union for general and cabinet meetings. The Union was always easy to get to because there was a parking lot that the Modules took over, between the Corporate Yard and Business Tower. We used the Guadalupe, Umunhum, Pacifica, Costanoan, and other rooms. There were a lot of changes to the SJ campus. San Carlos was even a real street before I went to the campus. Wow! Even Pizza-a-Go-go was a venue for most of our meetings this semester. My life was bombarded with school and meetings. That semester brought on a lot of new members to Akbayan.

Akbayan was discovering a new foundation. Cheryl was president and I was some position. Every Tuesday or so, Cheryl and I would head on over to Sheppard Middle School to mentor some junior high students. They were a bunch of rascals, yet fun to watch them grow responsibly. After all, I always enjoyed visiting the kids.

That year, the winter formal was located at the Marriott Hotel in downtown San Jose. Renee fixed up my hair so that there was a bunch of tails on the top of my head. My hair was super long, so I was able to do something with it. I remember when my hair was 14-months long. My head was hot. The music was straight Techno/Rave music. I felt bad for the other guests because no one was really dancing unless hiphop started playing.

What seemed as a successful semester turned to crash and burn because cabinets were still semesterly. Not to mention that I was elected president for the next semester, Spring 2000. The fun begins here, and my leadership begins its raise to fame. Little did I know the struggle to keep something that meant so dear to me together. The decline of Akbayan members was failing, and nothing could be done.

note: nothing lasts, unless you truly want it to.

Identity runs in different directions

---

I've always had the trouble trying to figure who and what I really am. If I am filipino, what is my true history? The people that I know claim, with pride, their filipino-ness. Not all, but most. Why is it that Filipino-Americans really have no identity that proves to us that we are our own? Pretty much, being an American makes us individuals that believe in what we do, or in what others think we should. We watch television and discover heroes, idols, and people to look up to. I've always wanted to be the person that people look up to. Although, I've never really made a difference or did something spectacular to be someone's hero. My kindness, patience, and friendliness has built my identity. Whenever my race is brought up, I just tell people I am American. I was born and raised in San Francisco, California, United States of America. My ethnicity is Filipino. Words can really make someone think different of themselves. Along with my digression of different topics, I don't grasp another person's way of life. I live the way I want to live. No one has substantially ever tried to change who or what I am. There was once a time when I wanted to be this way or that way. My freshmen year of high school, I wanted to be a teeny-bopper with the other incoming Riordan freshmens, Jason, Nathaniel, and Joseph. So, I followed them all to Stonestown mall to kick it with the Mercy SF girls in the center quad. I was once a follower who knew nothing of leading other's to freedom. Now, I am the gifted one to assist other's to their own identity, OR TRY TO.

Who do you masturbate to? Aivy admitted to me yesterday that she masturbated to Thomas Ian Nicholas, also known as Kevin from American Pie. I told her I stroked it to Alyssa Milano. I'm crazy about Shannyn Sossamon, but I wouldn't do that stuff anymore. I admitted it, can you?

My 3 Favorite Movies...
(1) 40 Days and 40 Nights
(2) Rules of Attraction
(3) Mighty Ducks 2
My 3 Favorite Playstation 2 Games...
(1) NHL2004
(2) Socom 2
(3) Final Fantasy X
note: Be your own person, be who you are meant to be. You're not them, they're you.

Knowing that a place can be a venue of happiness

---

We've lived in 2915 for nearly two months and I don't know what my decision would be at the end of the twelve month lease. It doesn't take much to decorate such a small living space. The room is rarely warm, so wrapping ourselves in the comfort of blankets keeps the warmth inside. The food rations don't really bother much because food is easy to come by around here. The best restaurant for cheese steak is on Divisadero. I don't really know the name of it, only "Philadelphia Cheese Steaks" place. The five items that I touch the most in our place is my playstation 2, tv remote, refrigerator door, bed, and telephone to check if there are any messages. This place is so visitable, come one, come all. It's sad that no one really attempts to visit us. Oh well...


Chapter Four: The Separation of Two Powers


The era was the most confusing because the semester had started with a brand new cabinet. This was the first time I noticed that semesterly cabinets were totally the wrong direction to extending another successful semester. The downfall of Akbayan began and was taking a striking decrease in members, interest, and separate groups. The number of members didn't really make a difference from the usual, but the participation was in different interests. The Spring 1999 semester had its ups and incredible downs. The amount of money was sufficient to do some pretty daring and spontaneous events we could think of. By the way, that semester, we had two advisors, Dr. Navarro and Miss David-Sanchez, which was only available for the next two semesters, including this present one. We had our usual advisor, Dr. Navarro, who was always there and not there. She always wanted to be involved, yet we didn't really ask for her assistance because it seemed she wasn't the type of person we wanted around. Although, Miss David-Sanchez was the young looking advisor whom we went to because she was closer to our age. I didn't mind having two advisors, but why should one be better than the other because of age.

One of the events that was agreed upon from the past cabinet was March's incredible events that took Akbayan's funds straight into the red. I don't know if this information should even be public. Oh well! The two events that were one week away from each other were Kundirana and Showtime. The Kundirana event took all the money, that one can make from three average pcn's, and shoved it down the drain. The hype began in fall semester knowing that we can pull off a show like the one we did. We hardly did any pr'ing for this event, showing that the number of guests would be low, taking the funds from our own pocket. The tickets were as high as $50, proving to us that this event should have been planned more than or equal to showtime. The Kundirana kids are from De La Salle High School in the Philippines. They travelled all the way over to San Jose, California to put on a show for a total of sixty-five people. Don't we know how to grab interest from people in the Bay Area.

The seperation of two great powers had torn the interest of Akbayan apart. We had the strong social side and the bold political side that gained a lot of exposure by doing what they do. Everytime I was in a cabinet meeting that previous semester, there was always some type of conflict that had to do with how money should be spent. I didn't know what to think of the people. Seeing differently was and will always be involved in college filipino organizations. Although, that semester was strong enough to pull off a couple of successful doings.

The week after Kundirana, Akbayan and Platinum Entertainment developed Showtime, an outdoor showcase that involved singing/dancing, volleyball and basketball tournaments. The event collected an amount of two thousand guests on the 7th Street promenade of the campus. I had my fun being backstage for performers and a runner for both the games and performers. If only we knew that nearly one year later the campus collection would be walking up to our table to explain the outstanding debts that we had. Little did I know is that Platinum Entertainment didn't pay off a certain vendor that should have been paid before the show even happened. I'll go into this in Chapter Six.

The saddest part about this semester was the cancellation of pcn. Making this decision brought tears to many people's eyes. We lost a majority of our dancers because of the lack of interest that year. The alumni started to believe that their involvement with Akbayan was overdoing it. They were all taking part in a graduation event that year. That year, I was just getting used to learning so many dances. We were ready to dance up to ten dances, yet we never got to show anything for it. Girlie was the pcn director and all I remember and hear that she was heart-broken. The script was a bit bland, but the writer's put a lot of effort into the development of its creation. The idea of postponing the show until October of the next semester was brought up, yet shot down. The only reason we cancelled the show was the lack of funds, participants, and interests. We had a total of $200 without help with A.S. funding, a cast of thirty-four, and the show being far from ready to perform. The beginning of the end was creeping up on us.

My first experience with Pil-Grad was this semester. There was a total of twenty-five participants, and only five of them were in Akbayan. Ryan and I made a video for the graduates, which wasn't that bad. The event started on time in the last afternoon, in Morris Dailey auditorium. The cool thing was that the valedictorian of the whole SJSU class participated in Pil-Grad. This year, two of my roommates graduated, my brother and Ryan. From that moment, I knew I was going to make sure that Pil-Grad was going to happen when I graduate.

note: My vision started to begin from this point.

Sitting, thinking, and back hurting

I await the arrival of my bebeh because she went out to City Beach earlier to meet up with her friend Stephanie. The way I felt when she left was less ordinary. I didn't want her to leave, but when does she ever get a chance to hangout with her friends. People think our commitment is over the edge. Whenever someone asks where Aivy is, it's not, "Where's your girlfriend?", it's more like, "Where is your wife?" I have no problem with the way people think, but I don't want to smother bebeh and think that I'm not giving her enough freedom. We are a couple that just loves do things together. Her friends are my friends, and my friends are her friends. But, about earlier, I watched her leave as she drove out of the parking spot and drove off. I miss her.


Chapter Three: The Rise


My involvement in Akbayan was more than I ever thought it would be. I was never late for a cabinet or general meeting. The Akbayan cabinet had the greatest chemistry. The organization consisted of socials, politicals, and a balance of both. This semester smoothed out greatly and our efforts from the beginning of the semester to the last day was near perfect. We involved all new members in events that kept that active, even after friendship games. Thinking back to this day, there was no faults in that cabinet. We communicated, we kept composure with any downfalls that came about. We had money in the account, the profits jumped into our pockets, and each meeting was a popular success. You would think that this cabinet could not be outdone by no one else. Well, that's what I believed. We had what every organization had that needs to survive. There was the cute guys, the sexy girls, the leaders, followers yearning for leadership, and responsibility that was beyond greatness. Although, there is always disadvantages to perfection. During that time, Akbayan cabinets lasted semesterly. You can already anticipate a downfall, but let's stick to this era.

I was taking a bunch of my prerequisites for computer science. I didn't see myself taking my education seriously because of my participation in the organization. There are regrets during this time of my life, but I can't really guarantee that I would take what I did back. I did everything that I wanted. This was my first semester living two blocks away from school, and loving it. I remember now; I took my American Studies class that semester. I met so many people from just one class. We studied a lot on the 3rd floor of the library. I would think I was one of the motivators when we were studying because I was constantly ask the others a particularly question that we would need to know for the midterm. So, during that time, my education was still an important part of my life. I was taking a lot of my general education classes. I didn't know that the mixture of ge and major classes should be made to balance out your grades. It makes one think that you should do seriously in your ge classes and poorly, yet average in your major. Balance out your classes.

Fall 1998 was interesting enough for me. I met a lot of cool freshmen. I met Jerry, Christigale, Armand, etc. They were specifically known as Markham Hall, I guess. The momentum of such freshmen made the school year very easy to bare with. I just remember my visits to Markham Hall was increasing greater and greater. Actually, I visited Jerry's dorm, over at Royce Hall, a couple of times to watch movies and ask him to burn me a copy of music. My friends over at Hoover Hall, second floor, were fading out of my life and I was moving on with new friendships that were involved with Akbayan. By this, I found out that my friendships happened to follow the semesters with Akbayan. Each cabinet that I was involved with was my new group of friends. My main friendships were with my AMS group, Leighton, and the dorm people. Although, these friendships weren't meant to last as long, but let's move on from that subject. Let's just say that I was still unhappy. I never had that group of people that I can just call and say, let's go out and kick it. I shrug and wonder if I'll ever be socially happy.

note: That semester was mindless and somewhat new.