Why follow your life when you can easily shadow someone else's life?
I got this topic watching a glimpse of 'Freshmen Diaries' on Showtime. The episode just showed this poster that inspired me to write. I used to believe that I was meant to watch and study someone's life and live as they had lived. Without noticing it, through high school and the beginning of college, I noticed my lifestyle was portraying someone else's life. There was nothing wrong with it, I just realized that it really wasn't who I was. I struggled to make things happen that I thought I could take on. Thinking that running or facilitating a group of college students and gaining their support was just an illusion. Gaining was the easy part. Their motivation to be as dedicated as I was was no where close. Some say I ran the whole show of things by my lonesome, but there was support spewing through the cracks. Growing up with individuals who make differences in people's lives is what I wanted to do. After experiencing my stresses and frustrations for a few beginning weeks, I finally knew that I can't be what I'm not. I'm going to pace myself, I'm going to do what I can to make THIS successful. I don't want to acknowledge the fact that I brought back what was a dying species, but when will I ever feel glorified in this sake.
I became president because I felt it was my time. Even though no one ran against me, I believe I would have won if I had an adversary. I had the most dedication and determination at that time. People knew it, friends knew it, and most certainly I knew it. For some reason, you don't just get elected at some time, you take on the responsibility no matter the negative or positive outcomes may come. My cabinet consisted of at least twelve individuals. My cabinet meetings had at most six to eight people show up at each of them. Three of the six general meetings were just cabinet, and the other three consisted of no more than four non-cabinet members. The walls around me began to collapse, while the ground and foundation under me started to shatter. This moment, I knew that I wasn't put into this position to follow someone else's ways, traditions, ideas.
With the thought of a cancelled PCN in 1999, I knew it couldn't happen. With the limited ammunition, or cabinet, I put all effort into the anticipated show that would be called PCN 2000 From The Outside In. Let me tell you something that no one after me really knows. The reason Akbayan began to fail was because during a certain term, the cabinet had become split between socialists and political activists. Looking at today's cabinets, there is no real conflict, there is just the somewhat balance of both sides. All we needed was balance.
I started PCN workshops in late February, with a majority of these people guys. At that time, I was looking at the full moon sitting against someone's car thinking to myself that I can make anything happen. My Singkil prince, Juan Juan, was standing next to me and asked me, "What's up with PCN, is it going to happen?" The honest response that I gave him was, "By the time we see the next full moon, you will see us practicing exactly like it was back during PCN 1998. The next full moon came up at the end of March and we choreographed Singkil, along with eight other cultural dances, a hiphop routine, and a less than decent skit. I know the show was probably rated a 1 of 5, but if this show never occurred, there possibly wouldn't be one today. There would be no Akbayan.
Pilipino Cultural Nights bring together old and new friends that quite possibly strenghen the next year ahead. That year we had a cast of about forty individuals. Each person took part in each aspect of the show- dancing, acting, backstage, and modern. That year opened up the eyes of future individuals that become involved in the next cabinet. Of course we somehow broke even, but we just needed the right motivation.
Note: I follow my life, whose life will you follow?
Friday, November 28, 2003
Tuesday, November 18, 2003
Memories are all I leave you
October 1997
Sitting in the car with Edison, Melvin, and Francis as we leave for my very first Los Angeles trip with my friends. I still have the video footage that I took during my weekend there. As a freshmen, this experience was thrilling, exciting, and eventful. The first night, the four of us shared a room with four other people. The moment we put down our baggage, we are already in the car heading on over to other hotels. It was crazy back then, with the lobby of the hotels filled with filipinos, drinking, lounging, and just having a good time. It's not like nowadays that they trap you in your room and you have quiet time. Things change and stay the same, I'm just glad I was there when the craziness was alive. Like it was before my twenty-first birthday, I was the non-alcoholic. I fell distant from my friends and landed myself into a room full of females that offered me some drinks. I was just struck on how friendly people were when newcomers showed up. Just a few months before, the only people or group of people that I hung out with were guys. It happens when I'm the shy type at an all-male high school. From this point, I knew that college was going to be a lot different than high school. Unfortunately, all the females that I was a tiny bit attracted to in college rejected me. Until one day, a particular female destroyed the shielding that made me invinsible.
October 2002 Uncensored
We had arrived from our little trip to Downtown Disney, and I found myself walking back to the hotel alone. Through the back door, I stopped at the end of the 100's hallway - the exact hallway where Cal State Hayward was residing in. Earlier that day, I had been invited to come chill at Room 151. I had no idea that this choice would lead me to where I am today. I took one step toward my room, and then took a step back and looked down the hallway. I thought to myself - Joey, this is your last friendship games, leave the realities of life and have fun. Next thing you see is my hand knocking on that new open door that we call choices in life.
November 2003
Where would I be if I took the blue pill? Who cares, I took the red, for Hayward, pill and I'm enjoying what I have in life. I have no regrets. And I thank you, Aivy. I love you forever.
note: Don't let life control you. You control your fate and what happens next. Everything is worth the fight.
October 1997
Sitting in the car with Edison, Melvin, and Francis as we leave for my very first Los Angeles trip with my friends. I still have the video footage that I took during my weekend there. As a freshmen, this experience was thrilling, exciting, and eventful. The first night, the four of us shared a room with four other people. The moment we put down our baggage, we are already in the car heading on over to other hotels. It was crazy back then, with the lobby of the hotels filled with filipinos, drinking, lounging, and just having a good time. It's not like nowadays that they trap you in your room and you have quiet time. Things change and stay the same, I'm just glad I was there when the craziness was alive. Like it was before my twenty-first birthday, I was the non-alcoholic. I fell distant from my friends and landed myself into a room full of females that offered me some drinks. I was just struck on how friendly people were when newcomers showed up. Just a few months before, the only people or group of people that I hung out with were guys. It happens when I'm the shy type at an all-male high school. From this point, I knew that college was going to be a lot different than high school. Unfortunately, all the females that I was a tiny bit attracted to in college rejected me. Until one day, a particular female destroyed the shielding that made me invinsible.
October 2002 Uncensored
We had arrived from our little trip to Downtown Disney, and I found myself walking back to the hotel alone. Through the back door, I stopped at the end of the 100's hallway - the exact hallway where Cal State Hayward was residing in. Earlier that day, I had been invited to come chill at Room 151. I had no idea that this choice would lead me to where I am today. I took one step toward my room, and then took a step back and looked down the hallway. I thought to myself - Joey, this is your last friendship games, leave the realities of life and have fun. Next thing you see is my hand knocking on that new open door that we call choices in life.
November 2003
Where would I be if I took the blue pill? Who cares, I took the red, for Hayward, pill and I'm enjoying what I have in life. I have no regrets. And I thank you, Aivy. I love you forever.
note: Don't let life control you. You control your fate and what happens next. Everything is worth the fight.
Monday, November 17, 2003
Listening to Atlantic Starr - Secret Lovers
The greatest part of my life involves the people close to me. Would you like to know who those people are? Well, I believe it's about time that you people are credited and acknowledged. Aivy is my girlfriend who I have loved and still love for many months now. She is there for me when she doesn't even know just being there makes me happy. She is always appreciated because she knows who I am when I don't. Edison is my bestfriend who I have known since our penises were about an inch long. His cock was probably like a belt when we were in 5th Grade. Whoa! Paulo who should be Reckanoized for all his attention toward a friend like me. What did I do deserve such happiness from one single person. My family has always been there for me, and I have always tried to be there for them. Am I still there? Of course. You three have always been there when I just needed to chill or kick it. Not saying that no one else has been there, but damn...
Sorry to cut this short, but I want to go play Socom 2 online.
AIVY
01: what is your first memory of me: head massage on the field at Friendship Games 2002
02: how long have we been friends: since Friendship Games 2002
03: tell about one memory we share together: Valentine's Day, playing Kingdom Hearts and eating Wendy's
04: describe me in four adjectives: ambitious, direct, thoughtful, silly
05: if we could spend a day together what would we do: eat at one of our restaurants, watch tv, play video games, have sex
06: name one thing you really don't like about me: your boyfriend
07: name one thing you really do like about me: eyes
08: if you could give me a gift what would it be: cosmetics
09: have we ever gotten in a fight & about what: yes, communication
10: have you ever seen me cry: yes
11: what is something embarrassing that i've done: dropped food on your boobs
12: what do i usually look like when you see me: my aivy-bear
13: what do i say all the time\whats my catch phrase: "fucking fuck"
14: do you think we will be friends in 5 years: forever is forever.
15: do you think i am bitchy: yes, but that's what I love about you.
16: has there been anything you wanted to tell me, but didn't: I'm Gay!
17: what advice would you give me, in general: Remind me that I'm not ugly.
18: wanna make out: always.
19: suggest a band / cd for me to listen to: Save Ferris
20: is there a song that reminds you of me: Light My Candle - Rent Soundtrack
The greatest part of my life involves the people close to me. Would you like to know who those people are? Well, I believe it's about time that you people are credited and acknowledged. Aivy is my girlfriend who I have loved and still love for many months now. She is there for me when she doesn't even know just being there makes me happy. She is always appreciated because she knows who I am when I don't. Edison is my bestfriend who I have known since our penises were about an inch long. His cock was probably like a belt when we were in 5th Grade. Whoa! Paulo who should be Reckanoized for all his attention toward a friend like me. What did I do deserve such happiness from one single person. My family has always been there for me, and I have always tried to be there for them. Am I still there? Of course. You three have always been there when I just needed to chill or kick it. Not saying that no one else has been there, but damn...
Sorry to cut this short, but I want to go play Socom 2 online.
AIVY
01: what is your first memory of me: head massage on the field at Friendship Games 2002
02: how long have we been friends: since Friendship Games 2002
03: tell about one memory we share together: Valentine's Day, playing Kingdom Hearts and eating Wendy's
04: describe me in four adjectives: ambitious, direct, thoughtful, silly
05: if we could spend a day together what would we do: eat at one of our restaurants, watch tv, play video games, have sex
06: name one thing you really don't like about me: your boyfriend
07: name one thing you really do like about me: eyes
08: if you could give me a gift what would it be: cosmetics
09: have we ever gotten in a fight & about what: yes, communication
10: have you ever seen me cry: yes
11: what is something embarrassing that i've done: dropped food on your boobs
12: what do i usually look like when you see me: my aivy-bear
13: what do i say all the time\whats my catch phrase: "fucking fuck"
14: do you think we will be friends in 5 years: forever is forever.
15: do you think i am bitchy: yes, but that's what I love about you.
16: has there been anything you wanted to tell me, but didn't: I'm Gay!
17: what advice would you give me, in general: Remind me that I'm not ugly.
18: wanna make out: always.
19: suggest a band / cd for me to listen to: Save Ferris
20: is there a song that reminds you of me: Light My Candle - Rent Soundtrack
Monday, November 03, 2003
Crunchy apples are so sweet...yum
November. Ah! Another month of joyous occasions and blissful breezes of chilly and frosty death winds. That's one way to describe what's been happening to the world that God warns us of. First, he brings the pillar of fire to inhale the lungs of the unrighteous one's, in other words, everyone. Second, the drops of hale storms grabs the earth in painful bruises that concludes in the cold shadows that we as people endure and portray to him, in what we call, hellish lifestyle.
Anyway, I have the proof to call Los Angeles hell. If people are willing to sacrificing themself with the conviction of arson, there must be something wrong with the city. In cases like these, I would like to say I'm happy to be a Bay Arean. We got beautiful cities like San Francisco, San Mateo, Hayward, San Jose, Fremont, Oakland, Santa Rosa, Sausalito, etc. What more can you ask for? Ok! I'll stop bashing South California. What I should be hating on is the city over on the East Coast that resides this guy, Mark, that temporarily goes to CSUH. I can't really be mean to someone that everyone else has already added their two cents, but I must say my conservative sayings. If xanga is like a safe-haven for you, then you thought wrong. You must know by now that most college and alumni use xanga, blogspot, etc. Yes, it is used to say what is on your mind, without noticing that people have a right and privilege to speak their minds also. It's your funeral. No threat intended. Just live life real and be honest, although, think about what you say before you say it.
So, I was in Whittier, California, at a Day's Inn last Wednesday night. Pretty comfortable if I may say. With the twin's, mando, and kawawa by our sides, Aivy and I slept wonderfully and awoke to a black haze of smoke sailing through the air. Visiting Romina G. and the cute baby with the hair, Rowen. Hope I spelled it correctly. Filipino babies are the cutest. Can't wait to have one. What? Yes I can. Shoot.
Now, work. Work sucks when they have unfair time schedules. I took off last Sunday because I was sick. Hehe.
Had a long talk with the parental unit. She reminded me of the ground rules and responsibilies that I need to make since I'm old enough to live on my own. She's not afraid to kick me out, if she needs to. My mother is a tough cookie. Her wrath engulfs the three son's characteristics all into one person. Back up before her motherly love devours you.
This Thursday, Akbayan is hosting an ice skating night once again. I want to go, since I didn't go to the last one. Plus, I love ice skating. I love playing ice hockey. I love cold sports. Yet, I get sick from the cold. I haven't been in San Jose in awhile, so it'll be good.
Note: Anyone wish to room with me in San Francisco. Email me, joshgumbi@sbcglobal.net.
November. Ah! Another month of joyous occasions and blissful breezes of chilly and frosty death winds. That's one way to describe what's been happening to the world that God warns us of. First, he brings the pillar of fire to inhale the lungs of the unrighteous one's, in other words, everyone. Second, the drops of hale storms grabs the earth in painful bruises that concludes in the cold shadows that we as people endure and portray to him, in what we call, hellish lifestyle.
Anyway, I have the proof to call Los Angeles hell. If people are willing to sacrificing themself with the conviction of arson, there must be something wrong with the city. In cases like these, I would like to say I'm happy to be a Bay Arean. We got beautiful cities like San Francisco, San Mateo, Hayward, San Jose, Fremont, Oakland, Santa Rosa, Sausalito, etc. What more can you ask for? Ok! I'll stop bashing South California. What I should be hating on is the city over on the East Coast that resides this guy, Mark, that temporarily goes to CSUH. I can't really be mean to someone that everyone else has already added their two cents, but I must say my conservative sayings. If xanga is like a safe-haven for you, then you thought wrong. You must know by now that most college and alumni use xanga, blogspot, etc. Yes, it is used to say what is on your mind, without noticing that people have a right and privilege to speak their minds also. It's your funeral. No threat intended. Just live life real and be honest, although, think about what you say before you say it.
So, I was in Whittier, California, at a Day's Inn last Wednesday night. Pretty comfortable if I may say. With the twin's, mando, and kawawa by our sides, Aivy and I slept wonderfully and awoke to a black haze of smoke sailing through the air. Visiting Romina G. and the cute baby with the hair, Rowen. Hope I spelled it correctly. Filipino babies are the cutest. Can't wait to have one. What? Yes I can. Shoot.
Now, work. Work sucks when they have unfair time schedules. I took off last Sunday because I was sick. Hehe.
Had a long talk with the parental unit. She reminded me of the ground rules and responsibilies that I need to make since I'm old enough to live on my own. She's not afraid to kick me out, if she needs to. My mother is a tough cookie. Her wrath engulfs the three son's characteristics all into one person. Back up before her motherly love devours you.
This Thursday, Akbayan is hosting an ice skating night once again. I want to go, since I didn't go to the last one. Plus, I love ice skating. I love playing ice hockey. I love cold sports. Yet, I get sick from the cold. I haven't been in San Jose in awhile, so it'll be good.
Note: Anyone wish to room with me in San Francisco. Email me, joshgumbi@sbcglobal.net.