My goodness, I thought I forgot my username and password for this thing
So the night of hanging out with the homies and bebeh hit off with the bestest. I enjoyed seeing everyone and hanging out with the usuals, as usual. Drinking with the people who I thought I would never drink with - Irene. I had a feeling she had low-tolerance. If you haven't seen, check out bebeh's domain, aivy-bear, and you'll see some of the pictures that we took. So, as some of you may know already, Aivy and I share a eight hundred square foot studio in San Francisco, off of California St. It is dope. She was so surprised when Edison and I brought her along, pretending to look for an ice cream shop. Even though it was about three days before our big ONE, I couldn't keep it inside me no more. Mainly because, if I kept the secret from her for the next three days, then she would get madder and madder at me, and you never know what may happen. Well, anyway, we checked it out, and its been over a week at that place...
So, I finally slept there alone, last night, and it wasn't as bad as the first night there. A majority of my belongings are there, including my PS2. If my console wasn't there, I'd die. No internet, no common phone line, no cable, no nothing. Just regular television, thank goodness for UPN, and Playstation 2 keep me busy. It is like living in San Jose again, except there's no one else there. I share the house with six other residents, but I see them walking in and out of the upstairs places...
I'm excited to see what happens with place when the carpet is in, I have a laptop, internet connection, and digital cable. Aivy and I will survive...
COME VISIT US!
note: having a heater helps a lot during the winter. Brrr!
Friday, December 19, 2003
Wednesday, December 17, 2003
Today...
...I woke up with a sore lower back.
...scratched a dollar scratcher and won another ticket.
...I cried.
...played Dark Cloud.
...didn't have work.
...played with Chipbubu.
...packed up my car a little bit more.
...hugged Bebeh.
...drove to San Francisco.
...ate stuffed chicken.
...spilled coffee on Bebeh.
...chatted on AIM with Tediocarm.
...found out that Tigas Ng Ulo was away from his computer because he was in the bathroom.
...watched the San Jose Sharks blow a 2-1 lead and lose in OT.
...played with Armando.
...watched an episode of Roseanne where Jackie got pregnant.
...I woke up with a sore lower back.
...scratched a dollar scratcher and won another ticket.
...I cried.
...played Dark Cloud.
...didn't have work.
...played with Chipbubu.
...packed up my car a little bit more.
...hugged Bebeh.
...drove to San Francisco.
...ate stuffed chicken.
...spilled coffee on Bebeh.
...chatted on AIM with Tediocarm.
...found out that Tigas Ng Ulo was away from his computer because he was in the bathroom.
...watched the San Jose Sharks blow a 2-1 lead and lose in OT.
...played with Armando.
...watched an episode of Roseanne where Jackie got pregnant.
Sunday, December 14, 2003
One year ago...
The greatest part about relationships is the element of anticipation. You never know what's going to come up next. Especially when one whole year has passed by and you never saw it coming. Actually, every single day I saw what hope can bring to two people. It is the greatest feeling when everyday for nearly a whole year is like the first day you get together. So, in short, Happy 1 Year Anniversay to Aivy and Joey. I love you Aivy.
note: Never give up. The struggle, pain and happiness is worth everything when this figment of love is involved.
The greatest part about relationships is the element of anticipation. You never know what's going to come up next. Especially when one whole year has passed by and you never saw it coming. Actually, every single day I saw what hope can bring to two people. It is the greatest feeling when everyday for nearly a whole year is like the first day you get together. So, in short, Happy 1 Year Anniversay to Aivy and Joey. I love you Aivy.
note: Never give up. The struggle, pain and happiness is worth everything when this figment of love is involved.
Wednesday, December 10, 2003
"I want a box of Cargo Cosmetics."
The gifts that I've purchased for this year's Christmas celebration has been put into much thought. I wasn't sure what to get some people, so I decided to do what I usually don't do, which is split with the brothers. Getting a great gift from three son's is better than three casual gifts, I guess. I don't know though. I enjoy getting multiple gifts than one big one, unless it's a laptop, desktop computer, xbox with helka games, or a brand new truck. I don't know. What the hell, beggars can't be chosers, so I say that whatever you get for Chrismakkuh(The OC), take it into sentiment and be glad for the season of giving, not getting.
Johnny Depp has always been one of my favorite actors in the business. Let's name some: Edward Scirrorhands, Benny and Joon, Crybaby, and Blow. All great movies. I want to collect all his movies on dvd. That'll be my THING for 2004. Along with building my PS2 games collection. I now own NHL2002, 2003, 2004, Socom 1 & 2, Kingdom Hearts, Enter the Matrix, Dark Cloud, and Rygar. Wow, a whopping NINE games. I want to own Final Fantasy X just for the heck of it. In the near future, I'll own The Sims 2, Final Fantasy X-2, Castlevania - Lament of Innocence, Fatal Frame 2, and The Simpson's - Hit 'n Run. Until anything worth purchasing comes out, I'll just be playing whatever I have. Games are fun, but being a Gamer is much better. I've achieved the Glow many times for many, many games. Legend of Zelda Series(minus Link's Awakening), including Ocarina of Time, Mike Tyson's Punch Out, Castlevania 1 & 2, Mega Man 1-3, Kid Icarus, Mario Kart 64, Super Mario Bros. 2 & 3, Mario World, etc. Beating games is worth the time playing. I also beat Metal Gear Solid 2 in four hours. I beat Halo in 7 hours. Max Payne in 4 hours. Legend of Zelda 3 in 4 hours. I love video games. Metroid Prime would have been quick, but I didn't own the game console.
note: helka (adv.) 1. great number of. 2. extremely or very much of. The San Jose Sharks game was helka fun to watch. latin: akleh.
The gifts that I've purchased for this year's Christmas celebration has been put into much thought. I wasn't sure what to get some people, so I decided to do what I usually don't do, which is split with the brothers. Getting a great gift from three son's is better than three casual gifts, I guess. I don't know though. I enjoy getting multiple gifts than one big one, unless it's a laptop, desktop computer, xbox with helka games, or a brand new truck. I don't know. What the hell, beggars can't be chosers, so I say that whatever you get for Chrismakkuh(The OC), take it into sentiment and be glad for the season of giving, not getting.
Johnny Depp has always been one of my favorite actors in the business. Let's name some: Edward Scirrorhands, Benny and Joon, Crybaby, and Blow. All great movies. I want to collect all his movies on dvd. That'll be my THING for 2004. Along with building my PS2 games collection. I now own NHL2002, 2003, 2004, Socom 1 & 2, Kingdom Hearts, Enter the Matrix, Dark Cloud, and Rygar. Wow, a whopping NINE games. I want to own Final Fantasy X just for the heck of it. In the near future, I'll own The Sims 2, Final Fantasy X-2, Castlevania - Lament of Innocence, Fatal Frame 2, and The Simpson's - Hit 'n Run. Until anything worth purchasing comes out, I'll just be playing whatever I have. Games are fun, but being a Gamer is much better. I've achieved the Glow many times for many, many games. Legend of Zelda Series(minus Link's Awakening), including Ocarina of Time, Mike Tyson's Punch Out, Castlevania 1 & 2, Mega Man 1-3, Kid Icarus, Mario Kart 64, Super Mario Bros. 2 & 3, Mario World, etc. Beating games is worth the time playing. I also beat Metal Gear Solid 2 in four hours. I beat Halo in 7 hours. Max Payne in 4 hours. Legend of Zelda 3 in 4 hours. I love video games. Metroid Prime would have been quick, but I didn't own the game console.
note: helka (adv.) 1. great number of. 2. extremely or very much of. The San Jose Sharks game was helka fun to watch. latin: akleh.
Monday, December 08, 2003
laughing and sarcasm is what the world needs
The DJ's at the formal were the BESTEST!!!!
Las Vegas for New Year's Eve ya'll. Who's down?
Aivy, I miss you. Barrelmen- Paulo, Vesper, Aris, Adan, I miss ya'll already. Olympus, miss you nigs. Jonas, spoon buddy, much love. Thor-Cay, living a block away, still miss you.
6 More Days Until The Big One Year Anniversary. What do I do?
I'm happy because...
I have an incredibly wonderful girlfriend.
The San Jose Sharks are kicking everyone's boo-tay.
I have mucho BUKAS.
My own apartment is slowly, but surely coming into existence.
Kawawa, Chipbubu and Armando.
All the Bubu's of the world.
I have Rygar for PS2.
I'm in love.
Work is no longer stressing me out like before.
note: What is wrong with this picture?
The DJ's at the formal were the BESTEST!!!!
Las Vegas for New Year's Eve ya'll. Who's down?
Aivy, I miss you. Barrelmen- Paulo, Vesper, Aris, Adan, I miss ya'll already. Olympus, miss you nigs. Jonas, spoon buddy, much love. Thor-Cay, living a block away, still miss you.
6 More Days Until The Big One Year Anniversary. What do I do?
I'm happy because...
I have an incredibly wonderful girlfriend.
The San Jose Sharks are kicking everyone's boo-tay.
I have mucho BUKAS.
My own apartment is slowly, but surely coming into existence.
Kawawa, Chipbubu and Armando.
All the Bubu's of the world.
I have Rygar for PS2.
I'm in love.
Work is no longer stressing me out like before.
note: What is wrong with this picture?
Sunday, December 07, 2003
I love my Bubu's
I'm glad a majority of you people's are happy with the outcome of the Tri-Formal. And Alexis, everything seemed to fall into place that really needed to. I'm pretty sure this will be the last possible time this type of event may happen...possibly. It was good to see everyone again, as usual. I got to the Convention Center about nine o'clock and couldn't find any open parking lots, so I parked, along with RJ and Tawny, in the outside, back parking lot near the outside skating rink. The walk around to the Hilton entrance was the longest, we should've taken the Marriott entrance since it was right there. Oh well.
The first person that acknowledged my presence when I walked to the big darkish room was Ted's "Joey!!!" The strange thing was the position of his seat on his table, his back should've faced me when he saw me. Once again, Oh well.
The evening went well and the fact that my date and I were missing for a good amount of the time after dinner was completely fair to say that, we DO what all couples do when we're dressed up. We...TOOK PICTURES. Get your minds out of the gutters and walk into the porn store already.
This formal reminded me of last year's, besides the fact that my date was there first, instead of me being there already and she coming later on. Along with the whole universe where everything is perfect, we had the most memorable night that as couple approaching one year could get. Love is amazing.
note: my notes should be more meaningful. no they shouldn't!
I'm glad a majority of you people's are happy with the outcome of the Tri-Formal. And Alexis, everything seemed to fall into place that really needed to. I'm pretty sure this will be the last possible time this type of event may happen...possibly. It was good to see everyone again, as usual. I got to the Convention Center about nine o'clock and couldn't find any open parking lots, so I parked, along with RJ and Tawny, in the outside, back parking lot near the outside skating rink. The walk around to the Hilton entrance was the longest, we should've taken the Marriott entrance since it was right there. Oh well.
The first person that acknowledged my presence when I walked to the big darkish room was Ted's "Joey!!!" The strange thing was the position of his seat on his table, his back should've faced me when he saw me. Once again, Oh well.
The evening went well and the fact that my date and I were missing for a good amount of the time after dinner was completely fair to say that, we DO what all couples do when we're dressed up. We...TOOK PICTURES. Get your minds out of the gutters and walk into the porn store already.
This formal reminded me of last year's, besides the fact that my date was there first, instead of me being there already and she coming later on. Along with the whole universe where everything is perfect, we had the most memorable night that as couple approaching one year could get. Love is amazing.
note: my notes should be more meaningful. no they shouldn't!
Saturday, December 06, 2003
Zzzzzzz
I'm always tired. I'm sleepy when I wake up. I'm exhausted when I get home from work. I neglect my bebeh when I'm with her because I'm tired. Work takes a lot out of me. Thinking takes a lot out of me. It's incredible how much brain wave activity can make your body worthless of energy. When studying, the inner brain cornea takes pleasure in using that flow of blood to rush your whole body into becoming useless. Playing video games is tedious too. I'm just always tired.
Almost a year.
Listening to Oscar G. & Ralph Falcon - Dark Beat
The formal will be fun. The night will be like a reunion for me with my Akbayan people's and such.
Last Thursday, December 4th, 2003, was the first Sushi Night, where Aivy, Edison, and myself introduce the evening with Sushi tasting at a random San Francisco Japanese Restaurant. The weekly chosen venue was Nagano's, Geary and Arguello. Edison ordered the Nigiri combo platter, which consisted of twelve sushi that he can savor, yet shared a la carte with the other tasters. Aivy and I ordered the Philly Roll, Nagano Maki, Oregon Roll, and Spider Roll. Each had it's expertise in tasteful pleasures AND oh so delicious spices. We filled our dipping plates with wasabi and soy sauce and preceded. I enjoyed the sushi. The Oregon could have been better, but out of the four, not my favorite. The Philly roll didn't much please my tastebuds, but I wasn't dissatisfied. Spider Roll was different for me, somewhat, but I had no comment. The specialty plate, Nagano Maki, was very worth the cost. I can still taste the sushi in my stomach. The presentation wasn't the dull, plate and sushi deal. The cook took his time to make the plate decorative. The time put into a dish is always worth a plus. Overall, out of 10, I rate Nagano Sushi an 8.
note: You can get full off of Sushi only!
I'm always tired. I'm sleepy when I wake up. I'm exhausted when I get home from work. I neglect my bebeh when I'm with her because I'm tired. Work takes a lot out of me. Thinking takes a lot out of me. It's incredible how much brain wave activity can make your body worthless of energy. When studying, the inner brain cornea takes pleasure in using that flow of blood to rush your whole body into becoming useless. Playing video games is tedious too. I'm just always tired.
Almost a year.
Listening to Oscar G. & Ralph Falcon - Dark Beat
The formal will be fun. The night will be like a reunion for me with my Akbayan people's and such.
Last Thursday, December 4th, 2003, was the first Sushi Night, where Aivy, Edison, and myself introduce the evening with Sushi tasting at a random San Francisco Japanese Restaurant. The weekly chosen venue was Nagano's, Geary and Arguello. Edison ordered the Nigiri combo platter, which consisted of twelve sushi that he can savor, yet shared a la carte with the other tasters. Aivy and I ordered the Philly Roll, Nagano Maki, Oregon Roll, and Spider Roll. Each had it's expertise in tasteful pleasures AND oh so delicious spices. We filled our dipping plates with wasabi and soy sauce and preceded. I enjoyed the sushi. The Oregon could have been better, but out of the four, not my favorite. The Philly roll didn't much please my tastebuds, but I wasn't dissatisfied. Spider Roll was different for me, somewhat, but I had no comment. The specialty plate, Nagano Maki, was very worth the cost. I can still taste the sushi in my stomach. The presentation wasn't the dull, plate and sushi deal. The cook took his time to make the plate decorative. The time put into a dish is always worth a plus. Overall, out of 10, I rate Nagano Sushi an 8.
note: You can get full off of Sushi only!
Tuesday, December 02, 2003
Proud & Pride
As the lights fade, everyone begins to slowly exit the stage. Jino stays on facing the audience.
JINO
"My verdict does not surprise me. Pulling strings, shortcuts by means of bribary, blackmail, threats. Guess what, that’s the lifestyle sometimes. Let me make my message clearer. Ninang once told me that such responsibility benefits great rewards…and superiority. She was never the type of person to backstab a friend or any type of business. Her way of the trade is now my way. I’ve seen the advantages, and dealt with the disadvantages. You can trust every single person that comes into your life. My grasp, my direction, my on-going success to the top will ascend. Others will not dare claw at my feet. They shall not pull me into that unfortunate lifestyle. Once at the top, I will help others out of the bucket, expanding this family, the Rosario family. (pause) One by one, my power, my loyal guards will see me as their uncle…their Don…their Ninong."
For some reason, this final monologue inspires myself. I don't know how it makes others feel, but with the right motivation, the attitude, the actions, it is what it is.
As the lights fade, everyone begins to slowly exit the stage. Jino stays on facing the audience.
JINO
"My verdict does not surprise me. Pulling strings, shortcuts by means of bribary, blackmail, threats. Guess what, that’s the lifestyle sometimes. Let me make my message clearer. Ninang once told me that such responsibility benefits great rewards…and superiority. She was never the type of person to backstab a friend or any type of business. Her way of the trade is now my way. I’ve seen the advantages, and dealt with the disadvantages. You can trust every single person that comes into your life. My grasp, my direction, my on-going success to the top will ascend. Others will not dare claw at my feet. They shall not pull me into that unfortunate lifestyle. Once at the top, I will help others out of the bucket, expanding this family, the Rosario family. (pause) One by one, my power, my loyal guards will see me as their uncle…their Don…their Ninong."
For some reason, this final monologue inspires myself. I don't know how it makes others feel, but with the right motivation, the attitude, the actions, it is what it is.
Friday, November 28, 2003
Why follow your life when you can easily shadow someone else's life?
I got this topic watching a glimpse of 'Freshmen Diaries' on Showtime. The episode just showed this poster that inspired me to write. I used to believe that I was meant to watch and study someone's life and live as they had lived. Without noticing it, through high school and the beginning of college, I noticed my lifestyle was portraying someone else's life. There was nothing wrong with it, I just realized that it really wasn't who I was. I struggled to make things happen that I thought I could take on. Thinking that running or facilitating a group of college students and gaining their support was just an illusion. Gaining was the easy part. Their motivation to be as dedicated as I was was no where close. Some say I ran the whole show of things by my lonesome, but there was support spewing through the cracks. Growing up with individuals who make differences in people's lives is what I wanted to do. After experiencing my stresses and frustrations for a few beginning weeks, I finally knew that I can't be what I'm not. I'm going to pace myself, I'm going to do what I can to make THIS successful. I don't want to acknowledge the fact that I brought back what was a dying species, but when will I ever feel glorified in this sake.
I became president because I felt it was my time. Even though no one ran against me, I believe I would have won if I had an adversary. I had the most dedication and determination at that time. People knew it, friends knew it, and most certainly I knew it. For some reason, you don't just get elected at some time, you take on the responsibility no matter the negative or positive outcomes may come. My cabinet consisted of at least twelve individuals. My cabinet meetings had at most six to eight people show up at each of them. Three of the six general meetings were just cabinet, and the other three consisted of no more than four non-cabinet members. The walls around me began to collapse, while the ground and foundation under me started to shatter. This moment, I knew that I wasn't put into this position to follow someone else's ways, traditions, ideas.
With the thought of a cancelled PCN in 1999, I knew it couldn't happen. With the limited ammunition, or cabinet, I put all effort into the anticipated show that would be called PCN 2000 From The Outside In. Let me tell you something that no one after me really knows. The reason Akbayan began to fail was because during a certain term, the cabinet had become split between socialists and political activists. Looking at today's cabinets, there is no real conflict, there is just the somewhat balance of both sides. All we needed was balance.
I started PCN workshops in late February, with a majority of these people guys. At that time, I was looking at the full moon sitting against someone's car thinking to myself that I can make anything happen. My Singkil prince, Juan Juan, was standing next to me and asked me, "What's up with PCN, is it going to happen?" The honest response that I gave him was, "By the time we see the next full moon, you will see us practicing exactly like it was back during PCN 1998. The next full moon came up at the end of March and we choreographed Singkil, along with eight other cultural dances, a hiphop routine, and a less than decent skit. I know the show was probably rated a 1 of 5, but if this show never occurred, there possibly wouldn't be one today. There would be no Akbayan.
Pilipino Cultural Nights bring together old and new friends that quite possibly strenghen the next year ahead. That year we had a cast of about forty individuals. Each person took part in each aspect of the show- dancing, acting, backstage, and modern. That year opened up the eyes of future individuals that become involved in the next cabinet. Of course we somehow broke even, but we just needed the right motivation.
Note: I follow my life, whose life will you follow?
I got this topic watching a glimpse of 'Freshmen Diaries' on Showtime. The episode just showed this poster that inspired me to write. I used to believe that I was meant to watch and study someone's life and live as they had lived. Without noticing it, through high school and the beginning of college, I noticed my lifestyle was portraying someone else's life. There was nothing wrong with it, I just realized that it really wasn't who I was. I struggled to make things happen that I thought I could take on. Thinking that running or facilitating a group of college students and gaining their support was just an illusion. Gaining was the easy part. Their motivation to be as dedicated as I was was no where close. Some say I ran the whole show of things by my lonesome, but there was support spewing through the cracks. Growing up with individuals who make differences in people's lives is what I wanted to do. After experiencing my stresses and frustrations for a few beginning weeks, I finally knew that I can't be what I'm not. I'm going to pace myself, I'm going to do what I can to make THIS successful. I don't want to acknowledge the fact that I brought back what was a dying species, but when will I ever feel glorified in this sake.
I became president because I felt it was my time. Even though no one ran against me, I believe I would have won if I had an adversary. I had the most dedication and determination at that time. People knew it, friends knew it, and most certainly I knew it. For some reason, you don't just get elected at some time, you take on the responsibility no matter the negative or positive outcomes may come. My cabinet consisted of at least twelve individuals. My cabinet meetings had at most six to eight people show up at each of them. Three of the six general meetings were just cabinet, and the other three consisted of no more than four non-cabinet members. The walls around me began to collapse, while the ground and foundation under me started to shatter. This moment, I knew that I wasn't put into this position to follow someone else's ways, traditions, ideas.
With the thought of a cancelled PCN in 1999, I knew it couldn't happen. With the limited ammunition, or cabinet, I put all effort into the anticipated show that would be called PCN 2000 From The Outside In. Let me tell you something that no one after me really knows. The reason Akbayan began to fail was because during a certain term, the cabinet had become split between socialists and political activists. Looking at today's cabinets, there is no real conflict, there is just the somewhat balance of both sides. All we needed was balance.
I started PCN workshops in late February, with a majority of these people guys. At that time, I was looking at the full moon sitting against someone's car thinking to myself that I can make anything happen. My Singkil prince, Juan Juan, was standing next to me and asked me, "What's up with PCN, is it going to happen?" The honest response that I gave him was, "By the time we see the next full moon, you will see us practicing exactly like it was back during PCN 1998. The next full moon came up at the end of March and we choreographed Singkil, along with eight other cultural dances, a hiphop routine, and a less than decent skit. I know the show was probably rated a 1 of 5, but if this show never occurred, there possibly wouldn't be one today. There would be no Akbayan.
Pilipino Cultural Nights bring together old and new friends that quite possibly strenghen the next year ahead. That year we had a cast of about forty individuals. Each person took part in each aspect of the show- dancing, acting, backstage, and modern. That year opened up the eyes of future individuals that become involved in the next cabinet. Of course we somehow broke even, but we just needed the right motivation.
Note: I follow my life, whose life will you follow?
Tuesday, November 18, 2003
Memories are all I leave you
October 1997
Sitting in the car with Edison, Melvin, and Francis as we leave for my very first Los Angeles trip with my friends. I still have the video footage that I took during my weekend there. As a freshmen, this experience was thrilling, exciting, and eventful. The first night, the four of us shared a room with four other people. The moment we put down our baggage, we are already in the car heading on over to other hotels. It was crazy back then, with the lobby of the hotels filled with filipinos, drinking, lounging, and just having a good time. It's not like nowadays that they trap you in your room and you have quiet time. Things change and stay the same, I'm just glad I was there when the craziness was alive. Like it was before my twenty-first birthday, I was the non-alcoholic. I fell distant from my friends and landed myself into a room full of females that offered me some drinks. I was just struck on how friendly people were when newcomers showed up. Just a few months before, the only people or group of people that I hung out with were guys. It happens when I'm the shy type at an all-male high school. From this point, I knew that college was going to be a lot different than high school. Unfortunately, all the females that I was a tiny bit attracted to in college rejected me. Until one day, a particular female destroyed the shielding that made me invinsible.
October 2002 Uncensored
We had arrived from our little trip to Downtown Disney, and I found myself walking back to the hotel alone. Through the back door, I stopped at the end of the 100's hallway - the exact hallway where Cal State Hayward was residing in. Earlier that day, I had been invited to come chill at Room 151. I had no idea that this choice would lead me to where I am today. I took one step toward my room, and then took a step back and looked down the hallway. I thought to myself - Joey, this is your last friendship games, leave the realities of life and have fun. Next thing you see is my hand knocking on that new open door that we call choices in life.
November 2003
Where would I be if I took the blue pill? Who cares, I took the red, for Hayward, pill and I'm enjoying what I have in life. I have no regrets. And I thank you, Aivy. I love you forever.
note: Don't let life control you. You control your fate and what happens next. Everything is worth the fight.
October 1997
Sitting in the car with Edison, Melvin, and Francis as we leave for my very first Los Angeles trip with my friends. I still have the video footage that I took during my weekend there. As a freshmen, this experience was thrilling, exciting, and eventful. The first night, the four of us shared a room with four other people. The moment we put down our baggage, we are already in the car heading on over to other hotels. It was crazy back then, with the lobby of the hotels filled with filipinos, drinking, lounging, and just having a good time. It's not like nowadays that they trap you in your room and you have quiet time. Things change and stay the same, I'm just glad I was there when the craziness was alive. Like it was before my twenty-first birthday, I was the non-alcoholic. I fell distant from my friends and landed myself into a room full of females that offered me some drinks. I was just struck on how friendly people were when newcomers showed up. Just a few months before, the only people or group of people that I hung out with were guys. It happens when I'm the shy type at an all-male high school. From this point, I knew that college was going to be a lot different than high school. Unfortunately, all the females that I was a tiny bit attracted to in college rejected me. Until one day, a particular female destroyed the shielding that made me invinsible.
October 2002 Uncensored
We had arrived from our little trip to Downtown Disney, and I found myself walking back to the hotel alone. Through the back door, I stopped at the end of the 100's hallway - the exact hallway where Cal State Hayward was residing in. Earlier that day, I had been invited to come chill at Room 151. I had no idea that this choice would lead me to where I am today. I took one step toward my room, and then took a step back and looked down the hallway. I thought to myself - Joey, this is your last friendship games, leave the realities of life and have fun. Next thing you see is my hand knocking on that new open door that we call choices in life.
November 2003
Where would I be if I took the blue pill? Who cares, I took the red, for Hayward, pill and I'm enjoying what I have in life. I have no regrets. And I thank you, Aivy. I love you forever.
note: Don't let life control you. You control your fate and what happens next. Everything is worth the fight.
Monday, November 17, 2003
Listening to Atlantic Starr - Secret Lovers
The greatest part of my life involves the people close to me. Would you like to know who those people are? Well, I believe it's about time that you people are credited and acknowledged. Aivy is my girlfriend who I have loved and still love for many months now. She is there for me when she doesn't even know just being there makes me happy. She is always appreciated because she knows who I am when I don't. Edison is my bestfriend who I have known since our penises were about an inch long. His cock was probably like a belt when we were in 5th Grade. Whoa! Paulo who should be Reckanoized for all his attention toward a friend like me. What did I do deserve such happiness from one single person. My family has always been there for me, and I have always tried to be there for them. Am I still there? Of course. You three have always been there when I just needed to chill or kick it. Not saying that no one else has been there, but damn...
Sorry to cut this short, but I want to go play Socom 2 online.
AIVY
01: what is your first memory of me: head massage on the field at Friendship Games 2002
02: how long have we been friends: since Friendship Games 2002
03: tell about one memory we share together: Valentine's Day, playing Kingdom Hearts and eating Wendy's
04: describe me in four adjectives: ambitious, direct, thoughtful, silly
05: if we could spend a day together what would we do: eat at one of our restaurants, watch tv, play video games, have sex
06: name one thing you really don't like about me: your boyfriend
07: name one thing you really do like about me: eyes
08: if you could give me a gift what would it be: cosmetics
09: have we ever gotten in a fight & about what: yes, communication
10: have you ever seen me cry: yes
11: what is something embarrassing that i've done: dropped food on your boobs
12: what do i usually look like when you see me: my aivy-bear
13: what do i say all the time\whats my catch phrase: "fucking fuck"
14: do you think we will be friends in 5 years: forever is forever.
15: do you think i am bitchy: yes, but that's what I love about you.
16: has there been anything you wanted to tell me, but didn't: I'm Gay!
17: what advice would you give me, in general: Remind me that I'm not ugly.
18: wanna make out: always.
19: suggest a band / cd for me to listen to: Save Ferris
20: is there a song that reminds you of me: Light My Candle - Rent Soundtrack
The greatest part of my life involves the people close to me. Would you like to know who those people are? Well, I believe it's about time that you people are credited and acknowledged. Aivy is my girlfriend who I have loved and still love for many months now. She is there for me when she doesn't even know just being there makes me happy. She is always appreciated because she knows who I am when I don't. Edison is my bestfriend who I have known since our penises were about an inch long. His cock was probably like a belt when we were in 5th Grade. Whoa! Paulo who should be Reckanoized for all his attention toward a friend like me. What did I do deserve such happiness from one single person. My family has always been there for me, and I have always tried to be there for them. Am I still there? Of course. You three have always been there when I just needed to chill or kick it. Not saying that no one else has been there, but damn...
Sorry to cut this short, but I want to go play Socom 2 online.
AIVY
01: what is your first memory of me: head massage on the field at Friendship Games 2002
02: how long have we been friends: since Friendship Games 2002
03: tell about one memory we share together: Valentine's Day, playing Kingdom Hearts and eating Wendy's
04: describe me in four adjectives: ambitious, direct, thoughtful, silly
05: if we could spend a day together what would we do: eat at one of our restaurants, watch tv, play video games, have sex
06: name one thing you really don't like about me: your boyfriend
07: name one thing you really do like about me: eyes
08: if you could give me a gift what would it be: cosmetics
09: have we ever gotten in a fight & about what: yes, communication
10: have you ever seen me cry: yes
11: what is something embarrassing that i've done: dropped food on your boobs
12: what do i usually look like when you see me: my aivy-bear
13: what do i say all the time\whats my catch phrase: "fucking fuck"
14: do you think we will be friends in 5 years: forever is forever.
15: do you think i am bitchy: yes, but that's what I love about you.
16: has there been anything you wanted to tell me, but didn't: I'm Gay!
17: what advice would you give me, in general: Remind me that I'm not ugly.
18: wanna make out: always.
19: suggest a band / cd for me to listen to: Save Ferris
20: is there a song that reminds you of me: Light My Candle - Rent Soundtrack
Monday, November 03, 2003
Crunchy apples are so sweet...yum
November. Ah! Another month of joyous occasions and blissful breezes of chilly and frosty death winds. That's one way to describe what's been happening to the world that God warns us of. First, he brings the pillar of fire to inhale the lungs of the unrighteous one's, in other words, everyone. Second, the drops of hale storms grabs the earth in painful bruises that concludes in the cold shadows that we as people endure and portray to him, in what we call, hellish lifestyle.
Anyway, I have the proof to call Los Angeles hell. If people are willing to sacrificing themself with the conviction of arson, there must be something wrong with the city. In cases like these, I would like to say I'm happy to be a Bay Arean. We got beautiful cities like San Francisco, San Mateo, Hayward, San Jose, Fremont, Oakland, Santa Rosa, Sausalito, etc. What more can you ask for? Ok! I'll stop bashing South California. What I should be hating on is the city over on the East Coast that resides this guy, Mark, that temporarily goes to CSUH. I can't really be mean to someone that everyone else has already added their two cents, but I must say my conservative sayings. If xanga is like a safe-haven for you, then you thought wrong. You must know by now that most college and alumni use xanga, blogspot, etc. Yes, it is used to say what is on your mind, without noticing that people have a right and privilege to speak their minds also. It's your funeral. No threat intended. Just live life real and be honest, although, think about what you say before you say it.
So, I was in Whittier, California, at a Day's Inn last Wednesday night. Pretty comfortable if I may say. With the twin's, mando, and kawawa by our sides, Aivy and I slept wonderfully and awoke to a black haze of smoke sailing through the air. Visiting Romina G. and the cute baby with the hair, Rowen. Hope I spelled it correctly. Filipino babies are the cutest. Can't wait to have one. What? Yes I can. Shoot.
Now, work. Work sucks when they have unfair time schedules. I took off last Sunday because I was sick. Hehe.
Had a long talk with the parental unit. She reminded me of the ground rules and responsibilies that I need to make since I'm old enough to live on my own. She's not afraid to kick me out, if she needs to. My mother is a tough cookie. Her wrath engulfs the three son's characteristics all into one person. Back up before her motherly love devours you.
This Thursday, Akbayan is hosting an ice skating night once again. I want to go, since I didn't go to the last one. Plus, I love ice skating. I love playing ice hockey. I love cold sports. Yet, I get sick from the cold. I haven't been in San Jose in awhile, so it'll be good.
Note: Anyone wish to room with me in San Francisco. Email me, joshgumbi@sbcglobal.net.
November. Ah! Another month of joyous occasions and blissful breezes of chilly and frosty death winds. That's one way to describe what's been happening to the world that God warns us of. First, he brings the pillar of fire to inhale the lungs of the unrighteous one's, in other words, everyone. Second, the drops of hale storms grabs the earth in painful bruises that concludes in the cold shadows that we as people endure and portray to him, in what we call, hellish lifestyle.
Anyway, I have the proof to call Los Angeles hell. If people are willing to sacrificing themself with the conviction of arson, there must be something wrong with the city. In cases like these, I would like to say I'm happy to be a Bay Arean. We got beautiful cities like San Francisco, San Mateo, Hayward, San Jose, Fremont, Oakland, Santa Rosa, Sausalito, etc. What more can you ask for? Ok! I'll stop bashing South California. What I should be hating on is the city over on the East Coast that resides this guy, Mark, that temporarily goes to CSUH. I can't really be mean to someone that everyone else has already added their two cents, but I must say my conservative sayings. If xanga is like a safe-haven for you, then you thought wrong. You must know by now that most college and alumni use xanga, blogspot, etc. Yes, it is used to say what is on your mind, without noticing that people have a right and privilege to speak their minds also. It's your funeral. No threat intended. Just live life real and be honest, although, think about what you say before you say it.
So, I was in Whittier, California, at a Day's Inn last Wednesday night. Pretty comfortable if I may say. With the twin's, mando, and kawawa by our sides, Aivy and I slept wonderfully and awoke to a black haze of smoke sailing through the air. Visiting Romina G. and the cute baby with the hair, Rowen. Hope I spelled it correctly. Filipino babies are the cutest. Can't wait to have one. What? Yes I can. Shoot.
Now, work. Work sucks when they have unfair time schedules. I took off last Sunday because I was sick. Hehe.
Had a long talk with the parental unit. She reminded me of the ground rules and responsibilies that I need to make since I'm old enough to live on my own. She's not afraid to kick me out, if she needs to. My mother is a tough cookie. Her wrath engulfs the three son's characteristics all into one person. Back up before her motherly love devours you.
This Thursday, Akbayan is hosting an ice skating night once again. I want to go, since I didn't go to the last one. Plus, I love ice skating. I love playing ice hockey. I love cold sports. Yet, I get sick from the cold. I haven't been in San Jose in awhile, so it'll be good.
Note: Anyone wish to room with me in San Francisco. Email me, joshgumbi@sbcglobal.net.
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
Overtime is the bestest
I work five days a week now. The only part that sucks is that my weekend starts Tuesday night and ends Thursday night. I'm going to be working this Halloween, and I just realized that I'll be the #1 driver at my store now. Caesar is predicted to be transferred to another store, or maybe fired like the rest. I doubt he'll be fired because he's an excellent worker for (S).com. So, it seems as if I'm the only full-timer at Geary & Webster, eh. So, as of the past 3-days, I've worked nearly 5-hours of overtime this week. Every friday, my body is so relaxed to work, yet lazy. By Sunday night, I'm in agony and miserable that work is doing whatever to me, eh. The craziest part is that Monday and Tuesday are the BIG days. That means having twelve to seventeen deliveries in less than five hours. Though, I was proud of myself last Friday because I achieved thirteen deliveries in 2-hours, but this is probably irrelevent to any of you.
Let me tell you, the information that I've learned for my major is slowly slipping away. I need to update and tutor myself on the simple education that I learned in IT. Like, the hexadecimal to binary ratio, and the equations on how to find resistor, current, and voltage. Which one is added in the series circuit that is the sum of reciprocal? Tell me, tell me please, eh. Anyone need to be tutored?
Note: Leaving Hayward the other morning, the water smelled like Hydrogen Peroxide, H2PO3, I think, eh.
I work five days a week now. The only part that sucks is that my weekend starts Tuesday night and ends Thursday night. I'm going to be working this Halloween, and I just realized that I'll be the #1 driver at my store now. Caesar is predicted to be transferred to another store, or maybe fired like the rest. I doubt he'll be fired because he's an excellent worker for (S).com. So, it seems as if I'm the only full-timer at Geary & Webster, eh. So, as of the past 3-days, I've worked nearly 5-hours of overtime this week. Every friday, my body is so relaxed to work, yet lazy. By Sunday night, I'm in agony and miserable that work is doing whatever to me, eh. The craziest part is that Monday and Tuesday are the BIG days. That means having twelve to seventeen deliveries in less than five hours. Though, I was proud of myself last Friday because I achieved thirteen deliveries in 2-hours, but this is probably irrelevent to any of you.
Let me tell you, the information that I've learned for my major is slowly slipping away. I need to update and tutor myself on the simple education that I learned in IT. Like, the hexadecimal to binary ratio, and the equations on how to find resistor, current, and voltage. Which one is added in the series circuit that is the sum of reciprocal? Tell me, tell me please, eh. Anyone need to be tutored?
Note: Leaving Hayward the other morning, the water smelled like Hydrogen Peroxide, H2PO3, I think, eh.
Sunday, October 26, 2003
Letting my sorrows sweat away
I should be used to working outside in the heat, since that's how it was in San Jose. But, don't you think it's a little odd having hot fall nights in the post season of October. Kids won't want to go Trick'r Treatin' if they're sweatin' their buns off in their costumes. Yeah right! Candy candy candy is what's on their minds. Anyway, unlike last Halloween, I'm scheduled to work that whole day. Especially, the first evening after daylight savings has sort of helped my deliveries. It wasn't as hot when I was doing my stuff because the sun was completely down by nearly five o'clock earlier. My sweat drowned my face, while the drops of liquid salt fell into my stinging eyes.
Talking to my friend, Edison, the other night and reminiscing on my days of Holy Name school, class of '93. Last Friday, he calls me up and asks me if I wanted to hangout. Little did I know was that our old friend, Kevin, was also chilling at the house. Let me take you back, this is Kevin who I hung out with and bonded with before Edison transferred to HN. I guess you can say Kevin was one of my bestfriends back in the day, but as time expanded, so did the distance. We went to different high school's and completely different colleges. My connection with Ed probably stayed because we went to the same college, and we were roommates our first year at SJSU. Unlike my high school era, I enjoyed some of the people at HN, like Kevin, Edison, James, Ariel, Simon, Joseph, Porsia, Michelle, Cheryl, Elizabeth, and so on. Mainly, I connected more with the Asian and Filipino crowd not knowing that nationality as a youth tends to keep groups of elementary students in their own little niches.
With this group, we had a small little get together back in my Sophomore year of college, in which both Edison and I didn't go to, leaving Kevin to kick it with Tuan. Someday, it'll happen once again, and I'll try to make it this time, mainly because I am back in San Francisco. Strange how things work for me.
I've managed to make strong friendships in San Jose, though, the people I hangout with now are the same people I kicked it with in eighth grade. Do things happen for a reason? My SJ homies have their area of the bay, and I am stuck in my rut. -sigh-
Friendship Games 2003 is over and everyone is on their way home, I think. I'm going to Aivy's house tonight to surprise her, even though she knows I'm going there. Oh well, I'm excited to see my bebeh. I hope she's excited to see me. Love you Bubu.
note: Sadness changes emotions as love engulfs all feelings of a hug. -hmm-
I should be used to working outside in the heat, since that's how it was in San Jose. But, don't you think it's a little odd having hot fall nights in the post season of October. Kids won't want to go Trick'r Treatin' if they're sweatin' their buns off in their costumes. Yeah right! Candy candy candy is what's on their minds. Anyway, unlike last Halloween, I'm scheduled to work that whole day. Especially, the first evening after daylight savings has sort of helped my deliveries. It wasn't as hot when I was doing my stuff because the sun was completely down by nearly five o'clock earlier. My sweat drowned my face, while the drops of liquid salt fell into my stinging eyes.
Talking to my friend, Edison, the other night and reminiscing on my days of Holy Name school, class of '93. Last Friday, he calls me up and asks me if I wanted to hangout. Little did I know was that our old friend, Kevin, was also chilling at the house. Let me take you back, this is Kevin who I hung out with and bonded with before Edison transferred to HN. I guess you can say Kevin was one of my bestfriends back in the day, but as time expanded, so did the distance. We went to different high school's and completely different colleges. My connection with Ed probably stayed because we went to the same college, and we were roommates our first year at SJSU. Unlike my high school era, I enjoyed some of the people at HN, like Kevin, Edison, James, Ariel, Simon, Joseph, Porsia, Michelle, Cheryl, Elizabeth, and so on. Mainly, I connected more with the Asian and Filipino crowd not knowing that nationality as a youth tends to keep groups of elementary students in their own little niches.
With this group, we had a small little get together back in my Sophomore year of college, in which both Edison and I didn't go to, leaving Kevin to kick it with Tuan. Someday, it'll happen once again, and I'll try to make it this time, mainly because I am back in San Francisco. Strange how things work for me.
I've managed to make strong friendships in San Jose, though, the people I hangout with now are the same people I kicked it with in eighth grade. Do things happen for a reason? My SJ homies have their area of the bay, and I am stuck in my rut. -sigh-
Friendship Games 2003 is over and everyone is on their way home, I think. I'm going to Aivy's house tonight to surprise her, even though she knows I'm going there. Oh well, I'm excited to see my bebeh. I hope she's excited to see me. Love you Bubu.
note: Sadness changes emotions as love engulfs all feelings of a hug. -hmm-
Wednesday, October 22, 2003
Listening to 112 - Your Letter
What can I say, sometimes I amaze myself in the tribulations of growing up. Talking to a friend of mine, Gwen, online and I told her that it was my first time I'm not going to friendship games. I can never regret the many years I've been there to meet, enjoy, and complain the ways of this huge brown gathering. Although, this year, I must back down from such socializing and do what I must in my life as a college graduate, alumni, a pure adult. I must go to work.
Ehhh!? Unlike my entry a few days ago, being it almost ten days later, the sharks haven't won a second game yet.
To those going to friendship games this weekend, enjoy the time there, and never regret what happens. It is like Las Vegas, what ever happens in Vegas stays there. Nearly a year later, what had happened in Fullerton that last Saturday night has turned into nearly fourteen months of undeniable happiness, sadness, madness, and collective emotions. It's the bestest of the best.
So long past memories and welcome new memories. I can't entirely let go of what has happened in my past, but I'll cherish what left of it I have. My friends, my acquaintances, my education, my let-downs, my pick-me-ups, and definitely my sincere greatnesses.
Note: The competitiveness in the 'games' was not worth the stress. If school's want to cheat, let them cheat. If one wins on pure skill, they're worth my handshake.
What can I say, sometimes I amaze myself in the tribulations of growing up. Talking to a friend of mine, Gwen, online and I told her that it was my first time I'm not going to friendship games. I can never regret the many years I've been there to meet, enjoy, and complain the ways of this huge brown gathering. Although, this year, I must back down from such socializing and do what I must in my life as a college graduate, alumni, a pure adult. I must go to work.
Ehhh!? Unlike my entry a few days ago, being it almost ten days later, the sharks haven't won a second game yet.
To those going to friendship games this weekend, enjoy the time there, and never regret what happens. It is like Las Vegas, what ever happens in Vegas stays there. Nearly a year later, what had happened in Fullerton that last Saturday night has turned into nearly fourteen months of undeniable happiness, sadness, madness, and collective emotions. It's the bestest of the best.
So long past memories and welcome new memories. I can't entirely let go of what has happened in my past, but I'll cherish what left of it I have. My friends, my acquaintances, my education, my let-downs, my pick-me-ups, and definitely my sincere greatnesses.
Note: The competitiveness in the 'games' was not worth the stress. If school's want to cheat, let them cheat. If one wins on pure skill, they're worth my handshake.
Friday, October 17, 2003
Thoughts keep running through my cranium
Do nice guys really finish last? - I once was one of these individuals who continued to feel last in line in the kissing booth. Just imagine myself in Revenge of the Nerds, Part One, when the Alpha Betas had their booth in the Adams College Greek Carnival, I bought one ticket to kiss the girl, but one problem is that the better guy(s) keeps cutting the line. The nice guy doesn't even finish. The guy with the babyface, the guy with the nice car, the guy with the nice body continues to put himself first, second, and last even before you can even get in the line.
I say, don't get in the line. The mentality of the male race forces a downfall of emotions that continues to subdue their ability to find what is right in their life. Who knows what is right in their life? I don't know what is the correct way to live. I just live my life day by day. We have special characteristics that we enjoy as a hobby, fun, or boredom. Partaking in your daily doings, we never arrange what exactly what's going to happen in our life. The day turns our good, the day turns out bad, mainly because a simple incident that doesn't go your way. On the contrary, there is an occurrence that will lead positive upon positive situations to lead to temporary happiness. You can't believe in constant happiness (unless you are me, ha!, just playin').
When the San Jose Sharks lose, when Aivy is having a bad day, when I'm forced to rush, when money because a fatal issue, when things don't go as planned, when... These are some bad times that I must endure in my life to try and find the light that shines of happiness. We ALL have feelings that sets our emotions into a mixture that should not be ignored. The Sharks lose, maybe they'll win the next one. When Aivy is down, I am there to hug her and love her. When I'm rushing, I take a deep breath and tell myself that my normal pace is good enough. And so forth.
With 'Nice Guys Finishing Last' and knowing that happiness has its downsides, we make ourselves feel the way we do because that's the way we are. No one can change us, no one can make us feel differently, no one has the ability to enslave us in their revolving life. If all you nice guys want to enter that 'line', make a new one and take what you have to keep that line together.
Note: Does anyone understand what I was saying? I hope so.
Do nice guys really finish last? - I once was one of these individuals who continued to feel last in line in the kissing booth. Just imagine myself in Revenge of the Nerds, Part One, when the Alpha Betas had their booth in the Adams College Greek Carnival, I bought one ticket to kiss the girl, but one problem is that the better guy(s) keeps cutting the line. The nice guy doesn't even finish. The guy with the babyface, the guy with the nice car, the guy with the nice body continues to put himself first, second, and last even before you can even get in the line.
I say, don't get in the line. The mentality of the male race forces a downfall of emotions that continues to subdue their ability to find what is right in their life. Who knows what is right in their life? I don't know what is the correct way to live. I just live my life day by day. We have special characteristics that we enjoy as a hobby, fun, or boredom. Partaking in your daily doings, we never arrange what exactly what's going to happen in our life. The day turns our good, the day turns out bad, mainly because a simple incident that doesn't go your way. On the contrary, there is an occurrence that will lead positive upon positive situations to lead to temporary happiness. You can't believe in constant happiness (unless you are me, ha!, just playin').
When the San Jose Sharks lose, when Aivy is having a bad day, when I'm forced to rush, when money because a fatal issue, when things don't go as planned, when... These are some bad times that I must endure in my life to try and find the light that shines of happiness. We ALL have feelings that sets our emotions into a mixture that should not be ignored. The Sharks lose, maybe they'll win the next one. When Aivy is down, I am there to hug her and love her. When I'm rushing, I take a deep breath and tell myself that my normal pace is good enough. And so forth.
With 'Nice Guys Finishing Last' and knowing that happiness has its downsides, we make ourselves feel the way we do because that's the way we are. No one can change us, no one can make us feel differently, no one has the ability to enslave us in their revolving life. If all you nice guys want to enter that 'line', make a new one and take what you have to keep that line together.
Note: Does anyone understand what I was saying? I hope so.
Sunday, October 12, 2003
Sitting back with relief, knowing the SJ Sharks have the ability to win a game
This weekend exhausted my body in ways that I thought never existed. My determination to rush while I work left my body in a physically, abnormal position. My back hardly hurts, but my knees are slowly become fragile. In just a simple word, I feel "ouch".
The San Jose Sharks won their first game of the season today.
"...there is an empitness inside of me that not even the numerous pounds of food i consume can fill." - anonymous
I can honestly say I've felt this feeling once before. [See previous entry -10/09/03] This emotion of solitude portrays our utter existence. We strive to be better, but in short notice, we discover that the prolonged attempts find us fading away from achieving such accomplishments. There have been times when my hand had reached out for a hand, success, a diploma, a love of my life. I made a promise to myself that nothing will stand in my path to achieve what I deserve. No one should settle for mediocre, average, or even above average. We deserve excellence. We demand what is longing to grasp in our hands. Most of the time, my support is worth taking, but sometimes, I want to push all of you to tackle those obstacles and catch your dreams. The season of warmth is beginning with depression and sadness. Soon, it will be Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. In just a couple of days, we will be celebrating the new year. Make promises to yourselves, keep your spirit alive, and never let anyone take you down.
Even now, there are times when I lay flat on my back in my bed, look straight up at the ceiling, breathe as if it was my last breaths. My thoughts continue to reflect on what I've done in this lifetime. My eyes rotate around the room, noticing that my path somehow collected memories and shouted out happiness. I hope one day this feeling will be yours.
note: The moon was very bright this weekend, did you notice its glimmer, its shine, its smile? I did
This weekend exhausted my body in ways that I thought never existed. My determination to rush while I work left my body in a physically, abnormal position. My back hardly hurts, but my knees are slowly become fragile. In just a simple word, I feel "ouch".
The San Jose Sharks won their first game of the season today.
"...there is an empitness inside of me that not even the numerous pounds of food i consume can fill." - anonymous
I can honestly say I've felt this feeling once before. [See previous entry -10/09/03] This emotion of solitude portrays our utter existence. We strive to be better, but in short notice, we discover that the prolonged attempts find us fading away from achieving such accomplishments. There have been times when my hand had reached out for a hand, success, a diploma, a love of my life. I made a promise to myself that nothing will stand in my path to achieve what I deserve. No one should settle for mediocre, average, or even above average. We deserve excellence. We demand what is longing to grasp in our hands. Most of the time, my support is worth taking, but sometimes, I want to push all of you to tackle those obstacles and catch your dreams. The season of warmth is beginning with depression and sadness. Soon, it will be Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. In just a couple of days, we will be celebrating the new year. Make promises to yourselves, keep your spirit alive, and never let anyone take you down.
Even now, there are times when I lay flat on my back in my bed, look straight up at the ceiling, breathe as if it was my last breaths. My thoughts continue to reflect on what I've done in this lifetime. My eyes rotate around the room, noticing that my path somehow collected memories and shouted out happiness. I hope one day this feeling will be yours.
note: The moon was very bright this weekend, did you notice its glimmer, its shine, its smile? I did
Thursday, October 09, 2003
10/06/2003 - Went to work. I actually went home early because I wasn't feeling to well. It was actually the first time I actually left anything because I was sick. I say, if you're sick, stick to what your priorities are. Most people stay home because they don't want to get anyone sick where they are. I also say, if you are able to go to school or work, don't worry about getting anyone sick. If you know how to keep your cold to yourself, it's the care of themselves that should matter. Don't you think. I'm not the one coughing without covering my mouth like some rude people. I wash my hands whenever I touch anything nowadays, AND I don't exchange a handshake or hug when I am sick.
10/07/2003 - Woke up next to Aivy and attempted to sleep in until a little past noon. Unfortunately, with my sleeping pattern I woke up before 9-am. Aivy's cousin's, Melissa, came over to kick it and get ready for work. Hey girl, if Aivy can care so much about you, then so will I. Since it's almost three days ago, I just remember that we finally got out of the house and went to TGIF's for Marco's birthday. Happy 21st Birthday, Marco!!!
10/08/2003 - Mistakenly, I went into work finding out that Caesar was there already. I was only supposed to take his October 1st Wednesday. My impression was that I was taking his Wednesday shift altogether. Oh well! Later that day, I got ready and I drove myself to Hayward. It has been awhile since I went and slept there. Aivy and I watched the Simpson's 1st Season episodes. We eventually fell asleep a little past midnight.
10/09/2003 - I find myself in a pickle. I like to see myself as patient and worth the time, and I sometimes need to be told that I am appreciated. There is a particular person that constantly gives me the pleasure and I thank you, my love. Everyone tends to need a little push toward gratification. Don't tell me that you can live your life without any acknowledgement. Maybe moving out of five roommate environment into my old home leads me into isolation. Also, my parental unit is out of town, so my only reach of company is Aivy. These past two weeks have been the best, just like the first 10-months that we've been together. I'm lonely. Not as lonely like I was nearly two or three January's ago. I decided to leave San Jose and stay in San Francisco for only one week. It left me disturbed and scared to be alone. My friends turned out to be home-bodies. There was no one. I broke down, even when I went back to San Jose. I wanted to just sleep until school started again. So, now, I tell anyone who has ever felt this, YOU AREN'T ALONE. Of course, if you're religiously affiliated, you have God. But, there is alwas someone out there in this world who has the same constant boredom as you do. And when there is no possible escape from isolation, take a look at yourself in the mirror, and realize that time spent with yourself, your mind, your ability to expand your life is limitless.
note: I am alone now. I worry for many that have made isolation impossible.
10/07/2003 - Woke up next to Aivy and attempted to sleep in until a little past noon. Unfortunately, with my sleeping pattern I woke up before 9-am. Aivy's cousin's, Melissa, came over to kick it and get ready for work. Hey girl, if Aivy can care so much about you, then so will I. Since it's almost three days ago, I just remember that we finally got out of the house and went to TGIF's for Marco's birthday. Happy 21st Birthday, Marco!!!
10/08/2003 - Mistakenly, I went into work finding out that Caesar was there already. I was only supposed to take his October 1st Wednesday. My impression was that I was taking his Wednesday shift altogether. Oh well! Later that day, I got ready and I drove myself to Hayward. It has been awhile since I went and slept there. Aivy and I watched the Simpson's 1st Season episodes. We eventually fell asleep a little past midnight.
10/09/2003 - I find myself in a pickle. I like to see myself as patient and worth the time, and I sometimes need to be told that I am appreciated. There is a particular person that constantly gives me the pleasure and I thank you, my love. Everyone tends to need a little push toward gratification. Don't tell me that you can live your life without any acknowledgement. Maybe moving out of five roommate environment into my old home leads me into isolation. Also, my parental unit is out of town, so my only reach of company is Aivy. These past two weeks have been the best, just like the first 10-months that we've been together. I'm lonely. Not as lonely like I was nearly two or three January's ago. I decided to leave San Jose and stay in San Francisco for only one week. It left me disturbed and scared to be alone. My friends turned out to be home-bodies. There was no one. I broke down, even when I went back to San Jose. I wanted to just sleep until school started again. So, now, I tell anyone who has ever felt this, YOU AREN'T ALONE. Of course, if you're religiously affiliated, you have God. But, there is alwas someone out there in this world who has the same constant boredom as you do. And when there is no possible escape from isolation, take a look at yourself in the mirror, and realize that time spent with yourself, your mind, your ability to expand your life is limitless.
note: I am alone now. I worry for many that have made isolation impossible.
Sunday, October 05, 2003
Late, can't sleep, waiting patiently
Sad times come and go, happy times come and linger, anger lingers and tends to take a bothering stand upon the self image. You can't fight the feelings that one has, emotions just lead to related events. Scared to see what would happen if lacking the sacrifice that I can forgive myself in due time. Not knowing that small incidents can revolve a whole lifetime upside down. Wondering if the sacrifices, the push & shove, for another is all worth the time. Indeed it is!
Seeing the reflection of the blogger setup, I linger myself into a constant wonder that will lead me into profound and eternal happiness. Making my brain into a connection of words that is just jumbled thoughts that turn into nothingness. Grasping what I have left of my strength, I try to make sense. I TRY to make sense. I try to stay on my feet mainly because sometimes my hands, my arms do not want to pick me up. Sentences of words, paragraphs put into sentences, and bodies of thought meaning almost nothing because the only person that understands me is...me. I crumble inside, tormenting myself with outer possibilities that yearn for physical acceptance. I rest my soul down, waiting for mine to pick me up. Take me, lead me, I believe I can succeed. With my shoulders erect, and my head high, I shall exist, I shall forego the sounds of birds welcome the morning rise. I shall exist. I will exist. Existence is forever. Forever is mine.
note: loving couples stay because of sacrifice.
Sad times come and go, happy times come and linger, anger lingers and tends to take a bothering stand upon the self image. You can't fight the feelings that one has, emotions just lead to related events. Scared to see what would happen if lacking the sacrifice that I can forgive myself in due time. Not knowing that small incidents can revolve a whole lifetime upside down. Wondering if the sacrifices, the push & shove, for another is all worth the time. Indeed it is!
Seeing the reflection of the blogger setup, I linger myself into a constant wonder that will lead me into profound and eternal happiness. Making my brain into a connection of words that is just jumbled thoughts that turn into nothingness. Grasping what I have left of my strength, I try to make sense. I TRY to make sense. I try to stay on my feet mainly because sometimes my hands, my arms do not want to pick me up. Sentences of words, paragraphs put into sentences, and bodies of thought meaning almost nothing because the only person that understands me is...me. I crumble inside, tormenting myself with outer possibilities that yearn for physical acceptance. I rest my soul down, waiting for mine to pick me up. Take me, lead me, I believe I can succeed. With my shoulders erect, and my head high, I shall exist, I shall forego the sounds of birds welcome the morning rise. I shall exist. I will exist. Existence is forever. Forever is mine.
note: loving couples stay because of sacrifice.
Wednesday, October 01, 2003
Phew!
I believe today has got to be the worst day of work that I've had, besides the first few days that I was working almost ten-hour shifts. There is nothing wrong with working overtime, especially when you get paid even more. I'm looking forward to getting small loads of work today; because by statistics, Wednesday is supposely the slowest day of the week. With my luck, I'm most likely going to be given ten-plus deliveries. DAMN! I receive thirteen frickin' orders for the morning shift. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE JOKING! My first Wednesday shift, and I get bombarded with the unfortunate. The afternoon is worse, yet crazy. By far, Jeremy and I get stuck with sixteen orders, meaning, we may miss the first minutes of Smallville. (And I do, all 33 minutes of it) Anyway, I was given five of sixteen to deliver separate from Jeremy, and I finish all of them within an hour, which I can't believe myself because before I was pacing at one and a half per hour. (no need for thanks) I call up my co-worker and tell him that we can start working together because the next seven orders are a complete leg tearing, stair climbing, terrible terrible work for us to do alone. I just added more customers to my Hate list. Before there was the Steiner lady, now there's the SCOTT lady. She orders 25 or more jugs of water, 10 six packs of bottles of water, and to top it off, 1 roll of toilet paper. Eh! In other words, pick up five bricks and prepare for misery of four sets of stairs that destroy the humanity of us, your (S) Delivery Persons. With a total of seven-six stairs multiplied by four trips, up and down, that comes to six hundred and eight stairs for ONE PERSON! Not to mention one more trip because we really didn't feel like giving her frozen and chilled items, but no, she complained and we brought them over. Ok! Now comes the crazy part, I'm sitting passenger seat while Jeremy is driving. This guy comes inches away from the cars in front of him at a stop light, drives 55mph in a residential, and swerves around people trying to turn left or right. The best I can do is just sit back and enjoy the roller coaster ride. (that what it seemed like)
Ok now, I total of about 25 miles per day of driving on an average day of work. That includes driving up hills of Nob Hill, Russian Hill, Marina, Embarcadero, going down Columbus, Chinatown, Tenderloin, Pacific Heights, Coit Tower...
And now I'm home, resting my legs, my arms, my back, my neck, and my feet, awaiting for my Off-stage Princess to appear at my door step.
It's October, PILIPINO HERITAGE MONTH. Yeah whatever. We should celebrate our pride, heritage, and well-being everyday. Instead, it's American and Worldly lifestyle that we walk in. We are clones and robots that live in social and political garbage. Only America where a World Wrestler, an Action Moviestar, plus 134 other candidates will strive to become Governor of a multi-diverse state. Shoot! "Ronald Reagan, the Actor" (Back to the Future), has become the President of the United States. I'm voting. THREE No's and Bustamonte. I think this whole recall situation is BS. Davis could be doing something for this state than try to promote himself for the position that he was legally voted in for. It's not his fault he's in such a bad situation with the state, we're the one's that voted him in. I really don't know.
Note: Barrelmen go down...and we like it!
I believe today has got to be the worst day of work that I've had, besides the first few days that I was working almost ten-hour shifts. There is nothing wrong with working overtime, especially when you get paid even more. I'm looking forward to getting small loads of work today; because by statistics, Wednesday is supposely the slowest day of the week. With my luck, I'm most likely going to be given ten-plus deliveries. DAMN! I receive thirteen frickin' orders for the morning shift. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE JOKING! My first Wednesday shift, and I get bombarded with the unfortunate. The afternoon is worse, yet crazy. By far, Jeremy and I get stuck with sixteen orders, meaning, we may miss the first minutes of Smallville. (And I do, all 33 minutes of it) Anyway, I was given five of sixteen to deliver separate from Jeremy, and I finish all of them within an hour, which I can't believe myself because before I was pacing at one and a half per hour. (no need for thanks) I call up my co-worker and tell him that we can start working together because the next seven orders are a complete leg tearing, stair climbing, terrible terrible work for us to do alone. I just added more customers to my Hate list. Before there was the Steiner lady, now there's the SCOTT lady. She orders 25 or more jugs of water, 10 six packs of bottles of water, and to top it off, 1 roll of toilet paper. Eh! In other words, pick up five bricks and prepare for misery of four sets of stairs that destroy the humanity of us, your (S) Delivery Persons. With a total of seven-six stairs multiplied by four trips, up and down, that comes to six hundred and eight stairs for ONE PERSON! Not to mention one more trip because we really didn't feel like giving her frozen and chilled items, but no, she complained and we brought them over. Ok! Now comes the crazy part, I'm sitting passenger seat while Jeremy is driving. This guy comes inches away from the cars in front of him at a stop light, drives 55mph in a residential, and swerves around people trying to turn left or right. The best I can do is just sit back and enjoy the roller coaster ride. (that what it seemed like)
Ok now, I total of about 25 miles per day of driving on an average day of work. That includes driving up hills of Nob Hill, Russian Hill, Marina, Embarcadero, going down Columbus, Chinatown, Tenderloin, Pacific Heights, Coit Tower...
And now I'm home, resting my legs, my arms, my back, my neck, and my feet, awaiting for my Off-stage Princess to appear at my door step.
It's October, PILIPINO HERITAGE MONTH. Yeah whatever. We should celebrate our pride, heritage, and well-being everyday. Instead, it's American and Worldly lifestyle that we walk in. We are clones and robots that live in social and political garbage. Only America where a World Wrestler, an Action Moviestar, plus 134 other candidates will strive to become Governor of a multi-diverse state. Shoot! "Ronald Reagan, the Actor" (Back to the Future), has become the President of the United States. I'm voting. THREE No's and Bustamonte. I think this whole recall situation is BS. Davis could be doing something for this state than try to promote himself for the position that he was legally voted in for. It's not his fault he's in such a bad situation with the state, we're the one's that voted him in. I really don't know.
Note: Barrelmen go down...and we like it!
Thursday, September 25, 2003
Watching my head roll off my shoulders
Maybe I'm bored, maybe I'm just tired of getting all of these bulletin messages on hoaxes and friendster shutdown BS, maybe it is easier to reach out to our friends, but what's the difference between friendster's "bulletin board" and "email". Email has always been there, yet we neglect the similarities that it relates with friendster. Emailing probably lacks time efficiency. I know this is pointless, but it is just a topic other than 'friendster shutdown', 'rohypnol/gesterex', 'quote of the day', god forbid 'clubbing advertisements'...oh and now, we're getting spammed by absolute strangers advertising information we get spammed through email. i must say the internet of stages from Aol 3.0 Pinoypinay chatrooms, AsianAvenue, Findapix.com, Xanga/Blogger/Livejournal, and now Friendster/Ringo/etc. must be thrilling to see the changes that we all may encounter. I know the internet keeps most of us from boredom, but we all need some outlet to the world. Is this possibly my outlet? My way to escape the unrealities of life is by getting myself back in tune with life. I get up in the morning, I get dressed and I go to work. I earn money, and I enjoy doing it.
Telling me everyday, in her own simple and maybe complex wording, I am appreciated. I am worth the world that drills robotic rituals into minds of incompetence.
Maybe I'm bored, maybe I'm just tired of getting all of these bulletin messages on hoaxes and friendster shutdown BS, maybe it is easier to reach out to our friends, but what's the difference between friendster's "bulletin board" and "email". Email has always been there, yet we neglect the similarities that it relates with friendster. Emailing probably lacks time efficiency. I know this is pointless, but it is just a topic other than 'friendster shutdown', 'rohypnol/gesterex', 'quote of the day', god forbid 'clubbing advertisements'...oh and now, we're getting spammed by absolute strangers advertising information we get spammed through email. i must say the internet of stages from Aol 3.0 Pinoypinay chatrooms, AsianAvenue, Findapix.com, Xanga/Blogger/Livejournal, and now Friendster/Ringo/etc. must be thrilling to see the changes that we all may encounter. I know the internet keeps most of us from boredom, but we all need some outlet to the world. Is this possibly my outlet? My way to escape the unrealities of life is by getting myself back in tune with life. I get up in the morning, I get dressed and I go to work. I earn money, and I enjoy doing it.
Telling me everyday, in her own simple and maybe complex wording, I am appreciated. I am worth the world that drills robotic rituals into minds of incompetence.
Monday, September 22, 2003
Rotating my head because when I do, my neck cracks like WHOA!
How did the toilet god treat you Ulo-boy? Ha! Lately, I've been waking up later than usual mainly because I've been staying out late. No more! I can't be coming into work at 9:59am with my boss, Liz, looking me in the eye and saying "Good Morning, Joey." I can't have that. Yes, I am being sarcastic, so shut your hole.
Famous Embarrassing Phrases - location: Multicultural Center, SJSU - when: Cabinet Meeting 2002 - quote: "Dude, Ted, I am black from the waist down." I suddenly realize that in the next room is African American Commencement. There goes me running out the back door while Ted is rolling on the ground laughing.
At work, I'm neutral between the two parties that engulf the working environment. There's Jeremy & Cesar, the two caucasian and white-washed latino (I think), who have been working at (S) for many months now, the laid back types that lack the motivation to go by the rules and most of the time rely on others to do THEIR work, and then there is Ron, the token black guy (there goes my sarcasm again), that has been working with (S) for a month, thinks he's the boss, friendly fellow, dislikes Jeremy (especially). When I work with Jeremy, he tends to help, but in a rush type, which hurts my body because I pace myself. Then there is Cesar who is dedicated to his job, knows what's up, and gives a welcoming AND helping hand without even asking. Ron does his best to take the easy loads while others do the hard stuff, expects help from others, while at the same time only helping those that are worth his time.
In other words, he helps Jeremy never, Cesar seldom, and me whenever I ask for it, but with limited efforts. I'm stuck. I don't know who to model my own work style with. I don't like Jeremy's attitude toward the work, BUT he gets his stuff done. Cesar? Nothing to say about him, I just feel in the middle between Jeremy and Ron. The first week of work, they gave me their sides on their opposition. Confusing. They're both idiotic co-workers, but hey, they're good people with their own styles.
Pet Peeve...people that don't signal when turning...more later.
note: I do what I do in my relationship because it makes me feel like I'm a good boyfriend. Am I? Duh! 9+ months and still counting.
How did the toilet god treat you Ulo-boy? Ha! Lately, I've been waking up later than usual mainly because I've been staying out late. No more! I can't be coming into work at 9:59am with my boss, Liz, looking me in the eye and saying "Good Morning, Joey." I can't have that. Yes, I am being sarcastic, so shut your hole.
Famous Embarrassing Phrases - location: Multicultural Center, SJSU - when: Cabinet Meeting 2002 - quote: "Dude, Ted, I am black from the waist down." I suddenly realize that in the next room is African American Commencement. There goes me running out the back door while Ted is rolling on the ground laughing.
At work, I'm neutral between the two parties that engulf the working environment. There's Jeremy & Cesar, the two caucasian and white-washed latino (I think), who have been working at (S) for many months now, the laid back types that lack the motivation to go by the rules and most of the time rely on others to do THEIR work, and then there is Ron, the token black guy (there goes my sarcasm again), that has been working with (S) for a month, thinks he's the boss, friendly fellow, dislikes Jeremy (especially). When I work with Jeremy, he tends to help, but in a rush type, which hurts my body because I pace myself. Then there is Cesar who is dedicated to his job, knows what's up, and gives a welcoming AND helping hand without even asking. Ron does his best to take the easy loads while others do the hard stuff, expects help from others, while at the same time only helping those that are worth his time.
In other words, he helps Jeremy never, Cesar seldom, and me whenever I ask for it, but with limited efforts. I'm stuck. I don't know who to model my own work style with. I don't like Jeremy's attitude toward the work, BUT he gets his stuff done. Cesar? Nothing to say about him, I just feel in the middle between Jeremy and Ron. The first week of work, they gave me their sides on their opposition. Confusing. They're both idiotic co-workers, but hey, they're good people with their own styles.
Pet Peeve...people that don't signal when turning...more later.
note: I do what I do in my relationship because it makes me feel like I'm a good boyfriend. Am I? Duh! 9+ months and still counting.
Friday, September 19, 2003
Stretching my back due to out of shape body movements
The past few days have been really and eye opener for me, not to mention some intense emotions that soar over most. Last Tuesday, I went to go pick up my Aivy. We talked and had our well-known dialogues that result into a wonderful hug. As I drove through the East Bay streets, I jumped onto the 84 on our way to Palo Alto. I took my Aivy out to Peninsula Creamery for a milkshake/dinner. This restaurant is one of our favorites. We even took our favorite boy toy, Paulo, to eat with us one time. Since it happened to be my day-off time, my Aivy slept over and held me tightly. -sigh-
On Wednesday, we woke up late, but we didn't have some intimate alone time. We decided to get off our butts and go to Lush. I took her to Lush and drove around my part of the city that I work. Yes! I know Downtown SF now. More later, I'm going to eat dinner...
The greatest feeling leaped into my lap last night when I dropped off my Aivy's burrito from La Victoria. The incredible feeling that is completely mutual that her and I are so very happy together. We looked into each other's eyes and saw the person we could spend the rest of our lives with. -sigh-
I lost my inspiration to write because the food made me a big tired. I guess all I can say is, Happy Birthday Paulo and Tediocarm. And you are both welcome for yesterday's treats, especially Barrelman Production's intern, Vesper. I hope you liked your steak. Anyway, I'm off to go play NHL2003 Season. I got work in the morning.
Note: People! Stop handing cigarettes to Aivy! That's all I ask.
The past few days have been really and eye opener for me, not to mention some intense emotions that soar over most. Last Tuesday, I went to go pick up my Aivy. We talked and had our well-known dialogues that result into a wonderful hug. As I drove through the East Bay streets, I jumped onto the 84 on our way to Palo Alto. I took my Aivy out to Peninsula Creamery for a milkshake/dinner. This restaurant is one of our favorites. We even took our favorite boy toy, Paulo, to eat with us one time. Since it happened to be my day-off time, my Aivy slept over and held me tightly. -sigh-
On Wednesday, we woke up late, but we didn't have some intimate alone time. We decided to get off our butts and go to Lush. I took her to Lush and drove around my part of the city that I work. Yes! I know Downtown SF now. More later, I'm going to eat dinner...
The greatest feeling leaped into my lap last night when I dropped off my Aivy's burrito from La Victoria. The incredible feeling that is completely mutual that her and I are so very happy together. We looked into each other's eyes and saw the person we could spend the rest of our lives with. -sigh-
I lost my inspiration to write because the food made me a big tired. I guess all I can say is, Happy Birthday Paulo and Tediocarm. And you are both welcome for yesterday's treats, especially Barrelman Production's intern, Vesper. I hope you liked your steak. Anyway, I'm off to go play NHL2003 Season. I got work in the morning.
Note: People! Stop handing cigarettes to Aivy! That's all I ask.
Thursday, September 18, 2003
Saturday, September 13, 2003
Can't you see that Josh G. is sleeping. Come back another day. I'll be in my big (S) van hauling myself up and down the streets of San Francisco. Damn you woman on Steiner street. Cute baby that she had. But, damn lady, you are a pain. Why must you put your child through such torment. Did I mention the beautiful little girl that she had chewing on a frozen corn can. There you go...complaining woman letting her child's gums go bad by letting her chew on an aluminum can. What is the world coming to! Good Lord Almighty. My fingers, my hands, my back, my shoulder blades, my shoulders, my feet, my legs, my knees - all of these hurt.
Thank you for coming to see me Aivy. Dinner was great, and dessert was even better. Sorry you had to rush to work. Keep up the good 'glow'.
Thank you for coming to see me Aivy. Dinner was great, and dessert was even better. Sorry you had to rush to work. Keep up the good 'glow'.
Friday, September 12, 2003
Wondering why I can't keep my eyes open
Today could be put together in one word, but come on, I can't put it in one word. This is how it goes. All through the home I reside, I get a ring from my grey little ringer bell, also known as Charleston. Awakening from a good night sleep at 4-am is too much to say but rude. The only people that I would happily accept a call at this time of night is Aivy, my family, and myself. <^>O_o<^> Luckily, I was able to sleep through the text message that came along not too long after. Of course I was concerned if my Aivy was ok, but you know what, something miraculously would have happened if something happened. I woke up to a call from (S), at around 815-am. They wanted to remind me that I was working today. Well, duh! I know when I'm working. You give me a date and time when I'm supposed to work, I'll be there. Funny how I was the complete opposite at my old job in San Jose.
This is why my eyes are slowly drooping. I clocked in at 10am and clocked out at 10pm. Yes, 12-hour shift. Oh well! My back hurts, my eyes are going down, and I'm out and about.
Yesterday I received a facial. Pretty new if you ask me. My face was extremely 'clean' I guess. Feeling my skin and my face was like I received a new one completely. I love you Aivy. You open up new doors for me. Time for me to open up doors for you. Here is the key to my heart, I'm yours for as long as you want me. Mine!
Today could be put together in one word, but come on, I can't put it in one word. This is how it goes. All through the home I reside, I get a ring from my grey little ringer bell, also known as Charleston. Awakening from a good night sleep at 4-am is too much to say but rude. The only people that I would happily accept a call at this time of night is Aivy, my family, and myself. <^>O_o<^> Luckily, I was able to sleep through the text message that came along not too long after. Of course I was concerned if my Aivy was ok, but you know what, something miraculously would have happened if something happened. I woke up to a call from (S), at around 815-am. They wanted to remind me that I was working today. Well, duh! I know when I'm working. You give me a date and time when I'm supposed to work, I'll be there. Funny how I was the complete opposite at my old job in San Jose.
This is why my eyes are slowly drooping. I clocked in at 10am and clocked out at 10pm. Yes, 12-hour shift. Oh well! My back hurts, my eyes are going down, and I'm out and about.
Yesterday I received a facial. Pretty new if you ask me. My face was extremely 'clean' I guess. Feeling my skin and my face was like I received a new one completely. I love you Aivy. You open up new doors for me. Time for me to open up doors for you. Here is the key to my heart, I'm yours for as long as you want me. Mine!
Wednesday, September 10, 2003
Rent - I'll Cover You
Yesterday, such a complete waste if i stayed home. Aivy, her cousin, and I went to Napa Valley to go visit some of the wineries around there. The best part for some alcohol fanatics out there would be the ability to drink and drive, but being out there it's formly known as wine taste jumping. We started out at Beaulieu. The best part is the complimentary tasting because Aivy's cousin, Phillip, is a wine expert that works at a casual restaurant in Downtown Disney. If I drank at all those different wineries, my first pay check would be spend and my total would be zero once again. After Beaulieu, we went to some other places where Aivy and I were stranded by Phillip. We went on a 1-hour tour of one of the wineries, learning how wine is picked, fermented, and aged. Next, we ate a 'cultured' restaurant, Pinot Blanc, where the meaning of the menu wasn't the only questions that were asked toward our tour guide, Phillip. The last drink I had over at Raymond, about four thirty, was the killer. I walked calmly to the restaurant to pray to the toilet god. blah!
The last winery that we went to was Domaine Caneros. Beautiful! It is like the chateau that Fox 2 used for Joe Millionaire. So many stairs, such lack of energy that I had. After all this, I slept peacefully, yet loudly in the car ride home. The greatest surprise was the LCD screen in the van. Aivy and I watched Garfield in Paradise, Peanuts Snoopy Gets Married, and the Peanuts 20 year Anniversary, I think that's what it is. We arrived in Hayward and went to go eat. Yummy Westlake. Thumbs up Bebeh. My bebeh and I spent the evening 'watching' television and 'reading' a book on Alcatraz.
Note: Joey, you've lived in SF for 24 years and you've never been to Alcatraz.
Yesterday, such a complete waste if i stayed home. Aivy, her cousin, and I went to Napa Valley to go visit some of the wineries around there. The best part for some alcohol fanatics out there would be the ability to drink and drive, but being out there it's formly known as wine taste jumping. We started out at Beaulieu. The best part is the complimentary tasting because Aivy's cousin, Phillip, is a wine expert that works at a casual restaurant in Downtown Disney. If I drank at all those different wineries, my first pay check would be spend and my total would be zero once again. After Beaulieu, we went to some other places where Aivy and I were stranded by Phillip. We went on a 1-hour tour of one of the wineries, learning how wine is picked, fermented, and aged. Next, we ate a 'cultured' restaurant, Pinot Blanc, where the meaning of the menu wasn't the only questions that were asked toward our tour guide, Phillip. The last drink I had over at Raymond, about four thirty, was the killer. I walked calmly to the restaurant to pray to the toilet god. blah!
The last winery that we went to was Domaine Caneros. Beautiful! It is like the chateau that Fox 2 used for Joe Millionaire. So many stairs, such lack of energy that I had. After all this, I slept peacefully, yet loudly in the car ride home. The greatest surprise was the LCD screen in the van. Aivy and I watched Garfield in Paradise, Peanuts Snoopy Gets Married, and the Peanuts 20 year Anniversary, I think that's what it is. We arrived in Hayward and went to go eat. Yummy Westlake. Thumbs up Bebeh. My bebeh and I spent the evening 'watching' television and 'reading' a book on Alcatraz.
Note: Joey, you've lived in SF for 24 years and you've never been to Alcatraz.
Sunday, September 07, 2003
Composing 'joeybored.flp' on Fruityloops
once again I went through the fires of 'hell', or in other words, I was in Los Angeles listening to the helicopters soar through the sky with their spotlight looking for an escaped convict, or just trying to get a good reel for Cops. The world is completely different between the three centers of the United States - San Francisco, Los Angeles, and New York City. A city I love, a city I hate, and a city that I'm uncertain if I love or hate. To recall my views on Los Angeles, search my Sunday, May 18, 2003 entry.
Work...eh! I am so exhausted when I get home from work. As any other job, the beginning is going to bring you to your knees and drag you by your ankles wishing to the Almighty One, please, help me! Plus, this morning I was cursed by the unknown. I had cars cutting me off, and some car nearly ran into my truck thinking that the color of red at a stop light meant go faster. This is for all of you drivers that speed up on a yellow, is it worth the consequences that there's a possible endangerment. If you're going to run a yellow, don't accelerate, just roll through covering the brake. To all those bad drivers, defining what a bad driver has so many categories. Let's just say that no one is perfect. Either being the cause of an accident or being a victim of an accident puts you in the situation still. If you're a victim, don't believe that you were in the wrong place at the wrong time, just stay alert. ha! I'm going off on a tangent.
Work...eh! They lag so much that I'm trying to improve my workmanship there, but they keep lagging. Geez! Just give me a promotion to become an IT Technician I. I'm sure I'll know what I'm doing. Work sucks, but hey, the pay is good, the people are great, the hours just suck. I work 4-days a week at 10 hours a day. Geez! I guess that's their definition of fulltime. Ahhhhh! I actually yell out loud in my car on the way home nowadays. Ahhhhh! I'm going to bed because I have work in the morning again. PLUS, my weekends are tuesday, wednesday, thursday now. Ahhhhh!
once again I went through the fires of 'hell', or in other words, I was in Los Angeles listening to the helicopters soar through the sky with their spotlight looking for an escaped convict, or just trying to get a good reel for Cops. The world is completely different between the three centers of the United States - San Francisco, Los Angeles, and New York City. A city I love, a city I hate, and a city that I'm uncertain if I love or hate. To recall my views on Los Angeles, search my Sunday, May 18, 2003 entry.
Work...eh! I am so exhausted when I get home from work. As any other job, the beginning is going to bring you to your knees and drag you by your ankles wishing to the Almighty One, please, help me! Plus, this morning I was cursed by the unknown. I had cars cutting me off, and some car nearly ran into my truck thinking that the color of red at a stop light meant go faster. This is for all of you drivers that speed up on a yellow, is it worth the consequences that there's a possible endangerment. If you're going to run a yellow, don't accelerate, just roll through covering the brake. To all those bad drivers, defining what a bad driver has so many categories. Let's just say that no one is perfect. Either being the cause of an accident or being a victim of an accident puts you in the situation still. If you're a victim, don't believe that you were in the wrong place at the wrong time, just stay alert. ha! I'm going off on a tangent.
Work...eh! They lag so much that I'm trying to improve my workmanship there, but they keep lagging. Geez! Just give me a promotion to become an IT Technician I. I'm sure I'll know what I'm doing. Work sucks, but hey, the pay is good, the people are great, the hours just suck. I work 4-days a week at 10 hours a day. Geez! I guess that's their definition of fulltime. Ahhhhh! I actually yell out loud in my car on the way home nowadays. Ahhhhh! I'm going to bed because I have work in the morning again. PLUS, my weekends are tuesday, wednesday, thursday now. Ahhhhh!
Wednesday, September 03, 2003
Contemplating about past life while listening to Shai - I Don' t Want To Be Alone
Strange how I read lives that I know and once knew and believe that anything can happen. The difference between my life and lives past is crazy to think that I'm lucky to be here on this planet. Many times have I gotten into certain predicaments when my life was on the line. I always thanked Him for watching over me. Is he really looking over all these people on this earth? Maybe it was the prayers that my family, or friends that kept my safety going. When in the negative state of mind, we always ask ourselves when it will be our time to go into the beyond. We also tend to ask why it was them, and not me. The unstable state of life that we long to know will never be defined. Is there time to mourn, is there time to celebrate, is there enough to time to find a love that will last forever, and if so, will we have the patience to experience the negative effects of each.
Ves - hearing from others, i know i haven't seen you, but it is good to see you are alright. never underestimate the life you give to others. even though you don't know what people think, just know that someone is wishing for your safety.
Strange how I read lives that I know and once knew and believe that anything can happen. The difference between my life and lives past is crazy to think that I'm lucky to be here on this planet. Many times have I gotten into certain predicaments when my life was on the line. I always thanked Him for watching over me. Is he really looking over all these people on this earth? Maybe it was the prayers that my family, or friends that kept my safety going. When in the negative state of mind, we always ask ourselves when it will be our time to go into the beyond. We also tend to ask why it was them, and not me. The unstable state of life that we long to know will never be defined. Is there time to mourn, is there time to celebrate, is there enough to time to find a love that will last forever, and if so, will we have the patience to experience the negative effects of each.
Ves - hearing from others, i know i haven't seen you, but it is good to see you are alright. never underestimate the life you give to others. even though you don't know what people think, just know that someone is wishing for your safety.
Listening to the clicking of keyboard keys as I look at my personal finances
From this, I smile. I look at myself in the mirror and I see eyes staring back at me.
"Who are you?" As I look questioned into the reflection of myself.
"The past has caught up with you, and you must make a decision", the reflection says.
"What do you mean?" I say.
"The world has finally take toll of what humanity has brought themselves", it says.
"That is where you are wrong. Taking and accepting what we did and adapted and evolved ourselves into, the purity of this society is long gone. Living is just a minor necessity in our so-called lives. The greed and self-mutilation has affected eternal lifestyle. Wanting and needing and taking and giving, it's all part of the daily cycle that we call employment. Wake up, do the normal rituals before work, get into our car, go to work. Do our work, clock out, go home. Next day, same routine. This I say over and over, robots we are becoming when we separate the lack mind of, and the soul believers of." The words came out so smoothly, yet the image seemed discontent. It seemed to want more, more words, more intelligence, more knowledge of the human mind.
"Continue."
The single word just baffled my thought and looked with a blank face. Closing my eyes, chin down, hands on the sides of the sink, and finally taking a deep breath with a loud sigh. Opening my tired eyes, an image that I have not seen before. It was meaningful and seemed to grasp a sense of happiness.
"You don't need more", I said. "The knowledge of ignorance and limited knowledge of the world is a precious gift."
It nods.
After a week of carefully training behind a wheel, close watch of every prompt I do, it was kind of tense. I knew I wasn't getting graded, I wasn't in school, I was just trying to do the best I can. It was my job. Under a week later, I'm running through yellow lights, dodging cars, and what not...why? I have to deliver each package on time. I get paid to do my job, with great courtesy, and quality. Yet, I don't see a change on how it's making my life better. I've been living to long into the religious aspect. I'm not saying I'll give up on it, I don't know what I'm really saying. I guess I'm just tired of being a robot. Why must we go to school? Why must we listen to what others tell us? My life has answered those questions with a blur. I don't listen to anyone, most of the time. Well, I don't DO what they say, but I will listen. The orange juice is running low, and my back seems to need some rest from today's robotic full shift. I leave you all with this thought. What does the dialogue above mean? Good night.
From this, I smile. I look at myself in the mirror and I see eyes staring back at me.
"Who are you?" As I look questioned into the reflection of myself.
"The past has caught up with you, and you must make a decision", the reflection says.
"What do you mean?" I say.
"The world has finally take toll of what humanity has brought themselves", it says.
"That is where you are wrong. Taking and accepting what we did and adapted and evolved ourselves into, the purity of this society is long gone. Living is just a minor necessity in our so-called lives. The greed and self-mutilation has affected eternal lifestyle. Wanting and needing and taking and giving, it's all part of the daily cycle that we call employment. Wake up, do the normal rituals before work, get into our car, go to work. Do our work, clock out, go home. Next day, same routine. This I say over and over, robots we are becoming when we separate the lack mind of, and the soul believers of." The words came out so smoothly, yet the image seemed discontent. It seemed to want more, more words, more intelligence, more knowledge of the human mind.
"Continue."
The single word just baffled my thought and looked with a blank face. Closing my eyes, chin down, hands on the sides of the sink, and finally taking a deep breath with a loud sigh. Opening my tired eyes, an image that I have not seen before. It was meaningful and seemed to grasp a sense of happiness.
"You don't need more", I said. "The knowledge of ignorance and limited knowledge of the world is a precious gift."
It nods.
After a week of carefully training behind a wheel, close watch of every prompt I do, it was kind of tense. I knew I wasn't getting graded, I wasn't in school, I was just trying to do the best I can. It was my job. Under a week later, I'm running through yellow lights, dodging cars, and what not...why? I have to deliver each package on time. I get paid to do my job, with great courtesy, and quality. Yet, I don't see a change on how it's making my life better. I've been living to long into the religious aspect. I'm not saying I'll give up on it, I don't know what I'm really saying. I guess I'm just tired of being a robot. Why must we go to school? Why must we listen to what others tell us? My life has answered those questions with a blur. I don't listen to anyone, most of the time. Well, I don't DO what they say, but I will listen. The orange juice is running low, and my back seems to need some rest from today's robotic full shift. I leave you all with this thought. What does the dialogue above mean? Good night.
Thursday, August 21, 2003
Listening to Linkin Park - Faint
"...I can't feel...,...I won't be ignored." (while head bobbing)
Happiness and the whole development of yin ang yang, what goes around comes around, all good things end with more bad things. I went into my second interview at Safeway.com feeling over-confident, answering all the questions that Justino gave me. And guess what, my positive feelings have finally paid off. I'm no longer jobless. I have a, as aivy put it, JWB, job with benefits. I guess everyone who said waiting pays off, I guess it does. Thank you shipping and receiving for giving me the experience that I need to put my foot in the door. This is all part of my plan to get into my real occupation. Safeway.com is looking for a delivery driver to invoice their products, but for Part 2, I will at least have my foot in the door to move on into an entry-level technician. Who knows, maybe I'll be Executive Advisor, ha!
On the downside, I was punished with two parking tickets. I was so excited that I forgot that it was Thursday, and then the street cleaning people gave me a ticket for that. And then, while taking my drug test, I got another ticket because the meter ran out, and I didn't have anymore change. Oh well! Maybe, now everything will start to move up.
Beside the point, I hate urine test. Ever since I was a kid, I get to nervous and I can't go. I know this is a bit embarrassing, but who cares, I'm comfortable with it, and if people knew, I wouldn't worry about no more. Ha! Do I really want to let the audience know this type of information? As some say, TOO MUCH INFORMATION. Well, you have the option to read, so YOUR BAD.
- Way off topic -
Tediocarm: summer is time for students of your stature to rest and relax. Yeah you put in hours with school, and you're not earning as much money, but you have to put yourself in some type of shoes where you know you can move up or what not. You had the option to stay at GA, but I guess it didn't seem worth it. It helps to have experience in different areas, unlike me. I work for delivery once and always. Hopefully I'll move up.
PASA: enjoy your core retreat, I'm sure all of you will have fun and interesting stories that will not leave that place. Aivy, be good, please.
PS. My weekend is going to lonely, so I'll just play with my feet.
"...I can't feel...,...I won't be ignored." (while head bobbing)
Happiness and the whole development of yin ang yang, what goes around comes around, all good things end with more bad things. I went into my second interview at Safeway.com feeling over-confident, answering all the questions that Justino gave me. And guess what, my positive feelings have finally paid off. I'm no longer jobless. I have a, as aivy put it, JWB, job with benefits. I guess everyone who said waiting pays off, I guess it does. Thank you shipping and receiving for giving me the experience that I need to put my foot in the door. This is all part of my plan to get into my real occupation. Safeway.com is looking for a delivery driver to invoice their products, but for Part 2, I will at least have my foot in the door to move on into an entry-level technician. Who knows, maybe I'll be Executive Advisor, ha!
On the downside, I was punished with two parking tickets. I was so excited that I forgot that it was Thursday, and then the street cleaning people gave me a ticket for that. And then, while taking my drug test, I got another ticket because the meter ran out, and I didn't have anymore change. Oh well! Maybe, now everything will start to move up.
Beside the point, I hate urine test. Ever since I was a kid, I get to nervous and I can't go. I know this is a bit embarrassing, but who cares, I'm comfortable with it, and if people knew, I wouldn't worry about no more. Ha! Do I really want to let the audience know this type of information? As some say, TOO MUCH INFORMATION. Well, you have the option to read, so YOUR BAD.
- Way off topic -
Tediocarm: summer is time for students of your stature to rest and relax. Yeah you put in hours with school, and you're not earning as much money, but you have to put yourself in some type of shoes where you know you can move up or what not. You had the option to stay at GA, but I guess it didn't seem worth it. It helps to have experience in different areas, unlike me. I work for delivery once and always. Hopefully I'll move up.
PASA: enjoy your core retreat, I'm sure all of you will have fun and interesting stories that will not leave that place. Aivy, be good, please.
PS. My weekend is going to lonely, so I'll just play with my feet.
Monday, August 18, 2003
Listening to B4-4 - Endlessly (Not Backstreet Boys or N'sync)
With a little inspiration to write once again, my Aivy has nearly left me in happy tears when I read august 15th entry. *sigh* You aren't the only lucky one hebeb. I love you.
With a complete three-sixty, I go off on my original topic of make-up, cosmetics, and guck. There are so many brand names, stuff out there that make people BEAUTIFUL. I guess its just the fact that we, as humans, tend to pull apart from each other to become a super monopoly, making money over those ideas that were already made how many years ago. Ladies and some gentlemen, when using human coloring to your bright faces...skin, use it, don't abuse it. There are some layers of make-up that you probably don't have to throw onto your faces. Going back to my innocent days, believe me, if I was innocent now, I'd be a priest, I had a girlfriend that I literally had to laugh at behind her back because she would look like a clown. No wonder that relationship didn't last long, she was so into trends and fads of social society. But now, I have Aivy, who puts on just enough make-up, when she needs to. Her and I usually talk smack when we are out and about looking at the breezie type of chickenheads that brand their faces with far-fetched colors of guck.
I am requested to sit in Aivy's bathroom while she puts her "face" on, just watching and contemplating on the effort and commitment most women take into putting make-up on. She would ask me how it looks, and my answer is always perfect. Seriously, if it is up to my standards, I am not going to say it doesn't look perfect for no reason. If something is off or if she puts too much eye stuff on, then I'll let her know. I'm pretty sure she'll do the same if like my playstation 2 was missing a chip or two, but that's just giving you, the audience, an example. Overall, I enjoy making my Aivy look the way she feels she may look. I let her know if there's too much. Like that white powder stuff that Yon put on at the end. TOO MUCH.
Going back one-eighty, I live in my hometown of San Francisco. I enjoy the environment here, except for the people, as usual and the way I thought before I went to San Jose. I'm not hating...ok, I am. There's nothing wrong with the people, its just the attitude of them. Ick! Rude people these past couple of weeks. But hey! It could be anywhere, I was just in the wrong place at the time.
AFTER THOUGHT: Adding two hundred people on my Friendster bookmarks is taking longer than I thought.
With a little inspiration to write once again, my Aivy has nearly left me in happy tears when I read august 15th entry. *sigh* You aren't the only lucky one hebeb. I love you.
With a complete three-sixty, I go off on my original topic of make-up, cosmetics, and guck. There are so many brand names, stuff out there that make people BEAUTIFUL. I guess its just the fact that we, as humans, tend to pull apart from each other to become a super monopoly, making money over those ideas that were already made how many years ago. Ladies and some gentlemen, when using human coloring to your bright faces...skin, use it, don't abuse it. There are some layers of make-up that you probably don't have to throw onto your faces. Going back to my innocent days, believe me, if I was innocent now, I'd be a priest, I had a girlfriend that I literally had to laugh at behind her back because she would look like a clown. No wonder that relationship didn't last long, she was so into trends and fads of social society. But now, I have Aivy, who puts on just enough make-up, when she needs to. Her and I usually talk smack when we are out and about looking at the breezie type of chickenheads that brand their faces with far-fetched colors of guck.
I am requested to sit in Aivy's bathroom while she puts her "face" on, just watching and contemplating on the effort and commitment most women take into putting make-up on. She would ask me how it looks, and my answer is always perfect. Seriously, if it is up to my standards, I am not going to say it doesn't look perfect for no reason. If something is off or if she puts too much eye stuff on, then I'll let her know. I'm pretty sure she'll do the same if like my playstation 2 was missing a chip or two, but that's just giving you, the audience, an example. Overall, I enjoy making my Aivy look the way she feels she may look. I let her know if there's too much. Like that white powder stuff that Yon put on at the end. TOO MUCH.
Going back one-eighty, I live in my hometown of San Francisco. I enjoy the environment here, except for the people, as usual and the way I thought before I went to San Jose. I'm not hating...ok, I am. There's nothing wrong with the people, its just the attitude of them. Ick! Rude people these past couple of weeks. But hey! It could be anywhere, I was just in the wrong place at the time.
AFTER THOUGHT: Adding two hundred people on my Friendster bookmarks is taking longer than I thought.
Thursday, August 14, 2003
A pounding feeling in my head as Charlie hammers and stammers...ehhh
I just recently found out Ben Affleck cheated on Jennifer Lopez. I must say, it's about time. Not saying that they can't be normal humans, but I say if movie stars must maintain a reputation of being that "how to be a hollywood bad ass in 10 days", then so be it.
I don't believe I remember what I was thinking about earlier, so here, a little spoken lyrical poetry that should belong in one of those American Literature books that we read for AMS1A or 1B:
"Grasping to the thought all must come down, withering away with such torment that has voided the great beyond.
Delivering the rare raunchy feeling to wheel away from, cautious counting to the negative torment that all is under.
Belonging to nothing,
Walking with everything,
Voicing the mute of the ear,
Finalizing that we all must enjoy now."
I just recently found out Ben Affleck cheated on Jennifer Lopez. I must say, it's about time. Not saying that they can't be normal humans, but I say if movie stars must maintain a reputation of being that "how to be a hollywood bad ass in 10 days", then so be it.
I don't believe I remember what I was thinking about earlier, so here, a little spoken lyrical poetry that should belong in one of those American Literature books that we read for AMS1A or 1B:
"Grasping to the thought all must come down, withering away with such torment that has voided the great beyond.
Delivering the rare raunchy feeling to wheel away from, cautious counting to the negative torment that all is under.
Belonging to nothing,
Walking with everything,
Voicing the mute of the ear,
Finalizing that we all must enjoy now."
Wednesday, August 13, 2003
Listening to The Beatles - In My Life
The new school year is about to start, yet I will not be attending. I've graduated from a high society of academics, and where does it leave me. It all depends on my luck in the near or even closer future. So far, this summer has been one of my brightest and most happiest. I have someone to share almost every moment of it. Recently, Aivy and I went camping at Lake Camanche, also where I've gone many times as a child, for a good amount of time as our new york trip. This time, there were no sites to see, no restaurants to visit, no special monuments that were destroyed. We just set up our purple dome of a tent together. I expected to have trouble putting together the tent with Aivy because it was really windy. But, my bebble showed as much patience as I did. -Thank You Bebble- This year, I finally decided to use an air mattress, and did it work! My back never felt better. For those of you who don't know, I have a fragile back.
I would think that most of my thinking habits goes to wondering if Aivy is ok, or if she is comfortable with the surroundings I bring her into, as she does for me. I don't necessarily force her to do anything out of the unusual, or out of the usual. Her freedom is her's to control. I was happy that she enjoyed most of the camping trip with me, except for that damn water splashin' us in our faces. Quick fear: When I'm in water that you can't see under, I'm frightened. I would easily jump into the water and maybe float for awhile, but I start to become terrified when my feet aren't touching ground. I feel as if something or someone is going to just grab my leg or ankle and drag me down. -shiver-
The food that we prepared for the camping trip was great: marinated chicken, hamburger patties, jack london marinade for our chewy steaks, lots of liquids, and a box of plasitic fingers. Sleeping at ten-thirty each night and waking at eight-thirty in the morning was quite amazing. Well, with the help of the sun blazing on the our purple dome of a tent, I couldn't bare the heat, incrediblly, Aivy stayed with the super warm feeling for an extra hour or two each morning. The nights were astonishing because the moon beamed across the darkened sky and luminated the earthy terrain.
This year, I didn't spend most of the time with the main camp, which wasn't very different from spending time with them because I hardly talk, I 'observe'. I actually remained with the 3-campers of choice on our #89 campground. And yes, they do fight a lot, over nothing. But that's a whole different blog. At least, I know for sure that if Aivy and I went on a camping trip along just the two of us, we'll manage to grab hold of the situation and live out the time there with much relaxation. Until next time kids, be alert and watch out for that darn Blaster Worm virus.
The new school year is about to start, yet I will not be attending. I've graduated from a high society of academics, and where does it leave me. It all depends on my luck in the near or even closer future. So far, this summer has been one of my brightest and most happiest. I have someone to share almost every moment of it. Recently, Aivy and I went camping at Lake Camanche, also where I've gone many times as a child, for a good amount of time as our new york trip. This time, there were no sites to see, no restaurants to visit, no special monuments that were destroyed. We just set up our purple dome of a tent together. I expected to have trouble putting together the tent with Aivy because it was really windy. But, my bebble showed as much patience as I did. -Thank You Bebble- This year, I finally decided to use an air mattress, and did it work! My back never felt better. For those of you who don't know, I have a fragile back.
I would think that most of my thinking habits goes to wondering if Aivy is ok, or if she is comfortable with the surroundings I bring her into, as she does for me. I don't necessarily force her to do anything out of the unusual, or out of the usual. Her freedom is her's to control. I was happy that she enjoyed most of the camping trip with me, except for that damn water splashin' us in our faces. Quick fear: When I'm in water that you can't see under, I'm frightened. I would easily jump into the water and maybe float for awhile, but I start to become terrified when my feet aren't touching ground. I feel as if something or someone is going to just grab my leg or ankle and drag me down. -shiver-
The food that we prepared for the camping trip was great: marinated chicken, hamburger patties, jack london marinade for our chewy steaks, lots of liquids, and a box of plasitic fingers. Sleeping at ten-thirty each night and waking at eight-thirty in the morning was quite amazing. Well, with the help of the sun blazing on the our purple dome of a tent, I couldn't bare the heat, incrediblly, Aivy stayed with the super warm feeling for an extra hour or two each morning. The nights were astonishing because the moon beamed across the darkened sky and luminated the earthy terrain.
This year, I didn't spend most of the time with the main camp, which wasn't very different from spending time with them because I hardly talk, I 'observe'. I actually remained with the 3-campers of choice on our #89 campground. And yes, they do fight a lot, over nothing. But that's a whole different blog. At least, I know for sure that if Aivy and I went on a camping trip along just the two of us, we'll manage to grab hold of the situation and live out the time there with much relaxation. Until next time kids, be alert and watch out for that darn Blaster Worm virus.
Monday, July 28, 2003
Nice guys And nice girls seem to live a much fuller life when compared to "chicken breezies" and "assholes". Though, they believe they're missing something that really is there already. Girls don't see the perfect guy next to them, and guys force their beliefs that the attractive, perfect looking female is going to love them with the same intensity as they do. Correct! But in my sense, to take the time to even think about why other people receive what they get instead of realizing that they should just live their own life. If you're friends with someone and you can talk to them, but there are no mutual signs from both parties, stay friends. But, if one does have feelings for the other, why hesitate, just say it. And if the outcome is negative, leave it be. Who is the one at loss, the one who rejects his or her friend. And for the nice girls, live up to be what you are, not the upbringing of such a fad as breezie-ville, or chickenhead. You ask why I take the time to write about this, mainly, I like to add my two cents into such debates, if you can actually call it that. Debating consists of knowing the side between why girls and guys treat the one's in front of them the way they do, and why "assholes" and "chicken breezies" only accept their kind. We have the side of the nice boys and girls; well, what about the "assholes" and "chicken breezies". The answer to that is easy. Everyone believes they belong in the nice group. Open your eyes everyone, we all belong somewhere. Know your place. And if you don't know, then ask someone. And don't feel offended when you find out.
HAPPY ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO MY BLOGSPOT SITE
HAPPY ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO MY BLOGSPOT SITE
Friday, July 25, 2003
Listening to Rent - La Vie Boheme
Counting the days to my vacation to the east coast for the very first time, and now its how many days after. Knowing that my New York trip was nearly a week ago tomorrow. At least I know that life moves on when I'm not there. Ha! I'm only kidding about that last comment. I didn't really get to watch the sun rise over the water, but I didn't see it rise over the empire state building. The fast pace lifestyle is not, but could be my thing. For the time being, I'm going to stick to the comfortable weather of sf, opposite of sj. Walking across the street may kill one and become flattened by those infamous yellow vehicles that blanket this city that sleeps between an interval of one hour a night. Under any circumstance, the trip was a different experience. The differences of what a city can give that is different shaped, different area altogether just make me feel that I neglect my own city of San Francisco. If I was native of New York, it seems as if I would do what I do in sf, and that is ignore the sites that most tourists come here to see. I am not really worried about what I see in my native land of sf, but I just can't believe...I'm being repetitive, so bottom line, I live in a tourist land, but I've never taken advantage of it. The hotel, my Aivy and I, stayed at was quite intimate. A single room with our own bathroom, not to mention a view of four to five skyscrapers, and a door thin enough that we can hear whispers, our apologies to our neighbors on those heated nights, and some days, in Room 202. To the fellow tourist on our Harbor Nights ferryboat ride around Manhattan, show a little common courtesy, I guess. And I would also taken advantage of the spot I could have got. Would I move from a spot that I found very convenient for my picture taking, of course. Would it make me less of a gentlemen if I didn't move, no because I'm as much of a tourist as her. Ha! Times Square was amazing. The 3-story Toys 'R Us was fun stuff. I don't think I'll ever see a toy store with everything that you actually want, minus the limited amount of video games, but bleh. I'm not really going to detail my trip, all I will say is that it was fun. My Aivy and I saw a Broadway show, Rent. Niiiiice!!! I got goosebumps when I heard the songs that I was oh so familiar with; Light My Candle, La Vie Boheme, No Day But Today, etc. I wouldn't mind seeing the show again when it comes to SF. Who wants to watch? I think my personal negative moments of the trip was the inconvenience of the hostess at the desk not accepting a particular package for us, but I'm not mad. Oh! And the flight back took like seven to eight hours. I don't like turbulence, but I had to show some courage there. I guess my mindset was, if the flight attendants were scared, then I'm not going to be. My Aivy, you definitely scared me. When we finally got over Michigan, the plane was straightforward. A sight that I enjoyed watching was the plane keeping up with the last moments of daylight. It seemed as if the light stayed with us for most of the trip. If you don't know what I mean, just ask me. Overall, there was nothing to fear from this trip. Maybe the fact that my Aivy almost got stuck there. Check out her story if you like at
Now being back on the west coast where I believe I belong. Almost a week since we got back from NYC and my sleeping pattern is a lot better. Instead of sleeping at 5am and waking at 3pm, I am sleeping by 2am and waking at 9am. Time to look for jobs that'll help gather some cash to get a place with my buddy, Thor. In less than ten-days I will again be a resident of San Francisco. Hopefully my future years of sf life won't be like my first 18. Well, more like my last 5-years of sf.
Akbayan is very limited and less-interested in me now, yet it will always be my family, my barangay. I feel as if I'm more involved with PASA. (Shrugs)
Sorry for not updating recently, I'm very much addicted to Final Fantasy X, soon to be Socom2 & Final Fantasy X2 (come October/November)
...my 1-year Anniversary of BlogSpot, Sigh. Blogger keeps me adjusted with the profound memories that I will record until days on end...
Counting the days to my vacation to the east coast for the very first time, and now its how many days after. Knowing that my New York trip was nearly a week ago tomorrow. At least I know that life moves on when I'm not there. Ha! I'm only kidding about that last comment. I didn't really get to watch the sun rise over the water, but I didn't see it rise over the empire state building. The fast pace lifestyle is not, but could be my thing. For the time being, I'm going to stick to the comfortable weather of sf, opposite of sj. Walking across the street may kill one and become flattened by those infamous yellow vehicles that blanket this city that sleeps between an interval of one hour a night. Under any circumstance, the trip was a different experience. The differences of what a city can give that is different shaped, different area altogether just make me feel that I neglect my own city of San Francisco. If I was native of New York, it seems as if I would do what I do in sf, and that is ignore the sites that most tourists come here to see. I am not really worried about what I see in my native land of sf, but I just can't believe...I'm being repetitive, so bottom line, I live in a tourist land, but I've never taken advantage of it. The hotel, my Aivy and I, stayed at was quite intimate. A single room with our own bathroom, not to mention a view of four to five skyscrapers, and a door thin enough that we can hear whispers, our apologies to our neighbors on those heated nights, and some days, in Room 202. To the fellow tourist on our Harbor Nights ferryboat ride around Manhattan, show a little common courtesy, I guess. And I would also taken advantage of the spot I could have got. Would I move from a spot that I found very convenient for my picture taking, of course. Would it make me less of a gentlemen if I didn't move, no because I'm as much of a tourist as her. Ha! Times Square was amazing. The 3-story Toys 'R Us was fun stuff. I don't think I'll ever see a toy store with everything that you actually want, minus the limited amount of video games, but bleh. I'm not really going to detail my trip, all I will say is that it was fun. My Aivy and I saw a Broadway show, Rent. Niiiiice!!! I got goosebumps when I heard the songs that I was oh so familiar with; Light My Candle, La Vie Boheme, No Day But Today, etc. I wouldn't mind seeing the show again when it comes to SF. Who wants to watch? I think my personal negative moments of the trip was the inconvenience of the hostess at the desk not accepting a particular package for us, but I'm not mad. Oh! And the flight back took like seven to eight hours. I don't like turbulence, but I had to show some courage there. I guess my mindset was, if the flight attendants were scared, then I'm not going to be. My Aivy, you definitely scared me. When we finally got over Michigan, the plane was straightforward. A sight that I enjoyed watching was the plane keeping up with the last moments of daylight. It seemed as if the light stayed with us for most of the trip. If you don't know what I mean, just ask me. Overall, there was nothing to fear from this trip. Maybe the fact that my Aivy almost got stuck there. Check out her story if you like at
Now being back on the west coast where I believe I belong. Almost a week since we got back from NYC and my sleeping pattern is a lot better. Instead of sleeping at 5am and waking at 3pm, I am sleeping by 2am and waking at 9am. Time to look for jobs that'll help gather some cash to get a place with my buddy, Thor. In less than ten-days I will again be a resident of San Francisco. Hopefully my future years of sf life won't be like my first 18. Well, more like my last 5-years of sf.
Akbayan is very limited and less-interested in me now, yet it will always be my family, my barangay. I feel as if I'm more involved with PASA. (Shrugs)
Sorry for not updating recently, I'm very much addicted to Final Fantasy X, soon to be Socom2 & Final Fantasy X2 (come October/November)
...my 1-year Anniversary of BlogSpot, Sigh. Blogger keeps me adjusted with the profound memories that I will record until days on end...
Saturday, July 05, 2003
Listening to Beach Boys - Surfin' USA
It is my 24th Birthday and I feel as if it is just another day. The orientation of the past couple of days are deteriorating mainly because I sleep at the oddest hours. My eyes close when the sky has a clear, solid light blue-ness. Sometimes I wake up when the sun is waving goodbye to day and welcoming evening. At 9:31pm tonight, I celebrate my twenty-fourth year of existence. Wow! Twenty-four years young. It is all crazy because I'm living my life with a relaxing state-of-mind. Every other morning I would remember to stand up and stretch and tell myself, you got to move your blood and your bones. Otherwise, my body will continue to ache the way it has been. Aches and pains at the age of twenty-four. Maybe its the extra effort in sports that my body really couldn't handle. The position of my sleeping body is fine, could it be the bed? (Shrugs)
I'm content with my life (at the moment). With the New York trip coming up, I'm a bit hesitant. I'm not sure what NYC is going to give or bring me. To tell you the truth, I'm frightened. I'm scared of unknown places, yet I long to travel and explore what's out there. Why must I be a self-hypocrite, assuming this is the correct statement that I give myself? I'll just have to take the trip one step at a time.
Sorry, digression...my birthday started out great. Aivy decided to check out my body to keep it up with the dermatologist standard. In other words, she decided to clean my disgusting body (in a non-sexual way). Awww, she cares. She's a keeper. Oh! And her homies from Hayward, I'm speaking of the cats at the home with Rhapsody, white tape to cover up the a/v wire, three computers right next to each other (as if anticipating a LAN party...wow), and finally, the ability to barbeque up to...maybe 25 pounds of meat on the mini-webber. Meat is Goooooooood. It was a fun 4th of July, no need for Fireworks. Dude, don't deny the facts that the fireworks on the Fourth of July represent the pre-ceremonial celebration of my BIRTHDAY. You didn't, well, now you know.
As for my past birthdays, I believe this is the one that changes me forever. This is the birthday where I say goodbye to my San Jose life. Adios, goodbye, adieu. My twenty-first birthday was fun because it was the first time I let alcohol (besides medicine) pass my lips. The whole day I just rested up and tried to get people to go to TGI-Friday's. I should be happy with the friends that came, but that still doesn't take away the fact some didn't even try to come. Anyway, I ate all my food, took four to five drinks to the head, and went back to my house, not knowing that I would see these drinks, food, and some other disgusting liquids later on. Also, that's when I knew that restaurant birthdays suck big ARSE-holes. Unless I'm lucky to go to Todai's, which might be out of the question this year because it opens at 530pm, and I invited guests to come over at 5pm. Errr. Back to the whole restaurant business. Is it not enough to spend my birthday AND $10 on dinner with me, OR just spend time my birthday with me AND just share a appetizer with someone? Nope. Excuses, excuses!!! That's how it was three years ago, such a heart-breaker for me. But, whoever was there three years ago, at TGIF's off Wolfe, Thank you for joining me. A year later, I figured that people would come celebrate with me if there was food already, like a barbeque. And guess what? People came and ate the food I gave them. I think the only person that actually brought something and a gift was acid raina, thanks girl far from being a bah-bah-bah-breeeeezie. I choose to keep selective memories mainly because it hurts to let hurtful things go away. The only solution to rid these burdens is revenge. ha! My twenty-third birthday went quite well, people actually brought food, drinks, and I had the best buzz of my life. Slipping into the recycle corner in my house. YES!!! I slipped. You really think I would jump into it. I am not stupish, I am stupes. I don't know why people have birthdays after they turn eighteen. Every time a birthday comes up, sadness overpowers happiness. People always complain that they're getting older, they figure that if they hadn't done anything with their life, then they begin to die into a sea of depression. I feel different. I'm done with school, I've dedicated my heart to someone outside my family (meaning Aivy), I'm trying to get into the real world. F#$%!!! I've been in the real world my whole life. This is the routine in life. I think and wonder if I want my child to be a robot of America. I don't know. Birthdays could really make you think about the abnormalities of life.
...in sarcasm, happy 24th birthday gumbi, I'm pretty sure no one is going to read this until after my birthday, but let's see if anyone has the ability to cheer up my hidden temporary sadness (no cheating Aivy)...
It is my 24th Birthday and I feel as if it is just another day. The orientation of the past couple of days are deteriorating mainly because I sleep at the oddest hours. My eyes close when the sky has a clear, solid light blue-ness. Sometimes I wake up when the sun is waving goodbye to day and welcoming evening. At 9:31pm tonight, I celebrate my twenty-fourth year of existence. Wow! Twenty-four years young. It is all crazy because I'm living my life with a relaxing state-of-mind. Every other morning I would remember to stand up and stretch and tell myself, you got to move your blood and your bones. Otherwise, my body will continue to ache the way it has been. Aches and pains at the age of twenty-four. Maybe its the extra effort in sports that my body really couldn't handle. The position of my sleeping body is fine, could it be the bed? (Shrugs)
I'm content with my life (at the moment). With the New York trip coming up, I'm a bit hesitant. I'm not sure what NYC is going to give or bring me. To tell you the truth, I'm frightened. I'm scared of unknown places, yet I long to travel and explore what's out there. Why must I be a self-hypocrite, assuming this is the correct statement that I give myself? I'll just have to take the trip one step at a time.
Sorry, digression...my birthday started out great. Aivy decided to check out my body to keep it up with the dermatologist standard. In other words, she decided to clean my disgusting body (in a non-sexual way). Awww, she cares. She's a keeper. Oh! And her homies from Hayward, I'm speaking of the cats at the home with Rhapsody, white tape to cover up the a/v wire, three computers right next to each other (as if anticipating a LAN party...wow), and finally, the ability to barbeque up to...maybe 25 pounds of meat on the mini-webber. Meat is Goooooooood. It was a fun 4th of July, no need for Fireworks. Dude, don't deny the facts that the fireworks on the Fourth of July represent the pre-ceremonial celebration of my BIRTHDAY. You didn't, well, now you know.
As for my past birthdays, I believe this is the one that changes me forever. This is the birthday where I say goodbye to my San Jose life. Adios, goodbye, adieu. My twenty-first birthday was fun because it was the first time I let alcohol (besides medicine) pass my lips. The whole day I just rested up and tried to get people to go to TGI-Friday's. I should be happy with the friends that came, but that still doesn't take away the fact some didn't even try to come. Anyway, I ate all my food, took four to five drinks to the head, and went back to my house, not knowing that I would see these drinks, food, and some other disgusting liquids later on. Also, that's when I knew that restaurant birthdays suck big ARSE-holes. Unless I'm lucky to go to Todai's, which might be out of the question this year because it opens at 530pm, and I invited guests to come over at 5pm. Errr. Back to the whole restaurant business. Is it not enough to spend my birthday AND $10 on dinner with me, OR just spend time my birthday with me AND just share a appetizer with someone? Nope. Excuses, excuses!!! That's how it was three years ago, such a heart-breaker for me. But, whoever was there three years ago, at TGIF's off Wolfe, Thank you for joining me. A year later, I figured that people would come celebrate with me if there was food already, like a barbeque. And guess what? People came and ate the food I gave them. I think the only person that actually brought something and a gift was acid raina, thanks girl far from being a bah-bah-bah-breeeeezie. I choose to keep selective memories mainly because it hurts to let hurtful things go away. The only solution to rid these burdens is revenge. ha! My twenty-third birthday went quite well, people actually brought food, drinks, and I had the best buzz of my life. Slipping into the recycle corner in my house. YES!!! I slipped. You really think I would jump into it. I am not stupish, I am stupes. I don't know why people have birthdays after they turn eighteen. Every time a birthday comes up, sadness overpowers happiness. People always complain that they're getting older, they figure that if they hadn't done anything with their life, then they begin to die into a sea of depression. I feel different. I'm done with school, I've dedicated my heart to someone outside my family (meaning Aivy), I'm trying to get into the real world. F#$%!!! I've been in the real world my whole life. This is the routine in life. I think and wonder if I want my child to be a robot of America. I don't know. Birthdays could really make you think about the abnormalities of life.
...in sarcasm, happy 24th birthday gumbi, I'm pretty sure no one is going to read this until after my birthday, but let's see if anyone has the ability to cheer up my hidden temporary sadness (no cheating Aivy)...
Thursday, June 26, 2003
Listening to Chemical Brothers - One Too Many Mornings
The heat is making me lazy, I want to just get up early and finally start making my days productive. Maybe when the sun starts to cool off I'll be able to get my butt out of bed and start moving my body and blood. When I lay still or when my body lacks its ability to move, my body feels sluggish and tends to accumulate aches and pains. As of now, my back hurts, my ankles and knees give off this poignant feeling where I must sit down, my neck sharpens and all I want to do is taking off my head and rest it on ice. Enduring the heat and scolding sun rays maybe the push I need to get out there. Is it worth the pain and agony of putting myself through the "no pain, no gain" saying?
I felt restless last night because the room wouldn't cool off. I played two games of NHL 2003, and then laid on my bed, watching Aivy at my computer entering her entry. When she was done, we turned off all the lights, opened the blinds, turned the fan to its maximum, and talked straight for an hour. It was like one of those nights when I wanted to share more of my life with her, and her's with mine. Overall, the dialogue between us two kept us from thinking and feeling the overwhelming heat in the room. Why doesn't my house ever cool off?
...Josh, Pierre, Jos, Ralph, Stitch...
The heat is making me lazy, I want to just get up early and finally start making my days productive. Maybe when the sun starts to cool off I'll be able to get my butt out of bed and start moving my body and blood. When I lay still or when my body lacks its ability to move, my body feels sluggish and tends to accumulate aches and pains. As of now, my back hurts, my ankles and knees give off this poignant feeling where I must sit down, my neck sharpens and all I want to do is taking off my head and rest it on ice. Enduring the heat and scolding sun rays maybe the push I need to get out there. Is it worth the pain and agony of putting myself through the "no pain, no gain" saying?
I felt restless last night because the room wouldn't cool off. I played two games of NHL 2003, and then laid on my bed, watching Aivy at my computer entering her entry. When she was done, we turned off all the lights, opened the blinds, turned the fan to its maximum, and talked straight for an hour. It was like one of those nights when I wanted to share more of my life with her, and her's with mine. Overall, the dialogue between us two kept us from thinking and feeling the overwhelming heat in the room. Why doesn't my house ever cool off?
...Josh, Pierre, Jos, Ralph, Stitch...
Tuesday, June 24, 2003
Listening to Jodeci - Lately
Picture by picture separating between parts and the enormous amount of what they call hiphop soars above all. Doubling and maybe even tripling the less common sets such as the mountain section. As much as I was upset with the group of photos last year, mainly because a majority of the pictures was female. The roundedness of pictures just revolved around what we call, modern day life. Think of it this way, as the show goes on, we put it all on to portray the missing pages of our heritage, yet when we find the records of such achievements for us to see, its mainly what you already see today. As we know it, the heritage of filipinos changes every single day, making us further away from what we already don't know. I could be just crazy and find that ethnicity just doesn't matter to most because mixing culture and modernization is what most people like to see. Its just a bunch of crap. Don't ask me to change my views or even to explain myself, its just useless for me to explain something that I may solely take grasp of.
Picture by picture separating between parts and the enormous amount of what they call hiphop soars above all. Doubling and maybe even tripling the less common sets such as the mountain section. As much as I was upset with the group of photos last year, mainly because a majority of the pictures was female. The roundedness of pictures just revolved around what we call, modern day life. Think of it this way, as the show goes on, we put it all on to portray the missing pages of our heritage, yet when we find the records of such achievements for us to see, its mainly what you already see today. As we know it, the heritage of filipinos changes every single day, making us further away from what we already don't know. I could be just crazy and find that ethnicity just doesn't matter to most because mixing culture and modernization is what most people like to see. Its just a bunch of crap. Don't ask me to change my views or even to explain myself, its just useless for me to explain something that I may solely take grasp of.
Thursday, June 19, 2003
Listening to Boyz II Men - On Bended Knee
Laughter is key when you figure that the sound it can make puts an immediate smile to one's face. For my own person, everyone's laughter puts a smile on my face, yet this distinct laughter of happiness puts a smile and a glow that seems to melt my heart. Pretending to tickle is half the story. Whenever that feeling that you just have to laugh all your stresses away is worth the moment of short breath, painful lungs, tightened abs, and squished face. We've all managed to giggle for some odd reason, and then, someone turns their shoulder giving you that odd look of, 'what the hell are you so happy about?' Some of the visions I see whenever I'm down is putting that yellow happy face on top of everyone's head, it is a sight of humor for me.
Laying deep into the night and early rise of sun, we look at each other and explode in laughter. She kicks her legs up and down like she's a little girl pouting because she doesn't get what she wants. Like those times when you think that something that's not there is so funny, you just have to pound your hand on something to figure out that your laughing about nothing. Just a small speck of a sound makes this explosion come back out of the two of us. Maybe it was the fact that we were up when the sun peeked through my blinds, or just the fact that we've spent so much time together. All I know is that I enjoy my time with her, especially when we have our laughing moments.
Listening to Clay Aiken - Open Arms
Who has really thought of me as inspiration, as someone to look forward to, as a person of recognition? A few. Not many. Doesn't a person like me deserve credit. My acknowledgments are proven by the work I do. I don't need rewards, certificates, a handshake; my satisfaction reaches that comfort zone when I've accomplished something, anything on my own. Then why do I feel like I need attention and that grasp of good job type. I don't know. I really don't know.
Laughter is key when you figure that the sound it can make puts an immediate smile to one's face. For my own person, everyone's laughter puts a smile on my face, yet this distinct laughter of happiness puts a smile and a glow that seems to melt my heart. Pretending to tickle is half the story. Whenever that feeling that you just have to laugh all your stresses away is worth the moment of short breath, painful lungs, tightened abs, and squished face. We've all managed to giggle for some odd reason, and then, someone turns their shoulder giving you that odd look of, 'what the hell are you so happy about?' Some of the visions I see whenever I'm down is putting that yellow happy face on top of everyone's head, it is a sight of humor for me.
Laying deep into the night and early rise of sun, we look at each other and explode in laughter. She kicks her legs up and down like she's a little girl pouting because she doesn't get what she wants. Like those times when you think that something that's not there is so funny, you just have to pound your hand on something to figure out that your laughing about nothing. Just a small speck of a sound makes this explosion come back out of the two of us. Maybe it was the fact that we were up when the sun peeked through my blinds, or just the fact that we've spent so much time together. All I know is that I enjoy my time with her, especially when we have our laughing moments.
Listening to Clay Aiken - Open Arms
Who has really thought of me as inspiration, as someone to look forward to, as a person of recognition? A few. Not many. Doesn't a person like me deserve credit. My acknowledgments are proven by the work I do. I don't need rewards, certificates, a handshake; my satisfaction reaches that comfort zone when I've accomplished something, anything on my own. Then why do I feel like I need attention and that grasp of good job type. I don't know. I really don't know.
Tuesday, June 10, 2003
Listening to Good Charlotte - Put Your Hands On My Shoulders
The most incredible and undeniable feeling that two people can share is the greatest responsibility dealt within my mind, heart, and soul - even if you can feel these virtues in such places. My mind has been opened to gather up all the fears of falling in love into a window. The heart that continues to thump sometimes slow, and sometimes fast is keeping me on my feet but with much more emotion. The soul is kept to itself to feel the way it goes. In short, I Love Aivy. The months have been short yet sweet to find out such a heart grasp. The feelings are mutual, but its more than that. Its a definition that I cannot define, but only feel warmly through my veins, my blood, my flow of every aspect that wants me to keep her next to me whenever she's already next to me, and grab her hand, body, environment when we begin to part. Everything feels better now. The words, the hugs, the smiles, the laughs, the fights, the kisses, the whispers, the love-making, the everything. Of course its not there all the time, we're only human. But when she calls me and tells me she shooken up because of someone at work, car incidents, stuff with pasa, anything, i'm there for her. Once again, taking everything step by step, day by day, she is mine, and I am hers. The word Love that shouldn't be thrown around has finally caught up with us. Funny thing is, we both felt it along time ago, just couldn't bare or scared to say the phrase that matters so much in what we call a relationship. When people tell me 'love you' out of something instead of saying 'bye', come on now, i'll live still if you just say bye, don't love me because we're friends, love me because i've made a difference.
The most incredible and undeniable feeling that two people can share is the greatest responsibility dealt within my mind, heart, and soul - even if you can feel these virtues in such places. My mind has been opened to gather up all the fears of falling in love into a window. The heart that continues to thump sometimes slow, and sometimes fast is keeping me on my feet but with much more emotion. The soul is kept to itself to feel the way it goes. In short, I Love Aivy. The months have been short yet sweet to find out such a heart grasp. The feelings are mutual, but its more than that. Its a definition that I cannot define, but only feel warmly through my veins, my blood, my flow of every aspect that wants me to keep her next to me whenever she's already next to me, and grab her hand, body, environment when we begin to part. Everything feels better now. The words, the hugs, the smiles, the laughs, the fights, the kisses, the whispers, the love-making, the everything. Of course its not there all the time, we're only human. But when she calls me and tells me she shooken up because of someone at work, car incidents, stuff with pasa, anything, i'm there for her. Once again, taking everything step by step, day by day, she is mine, and I am hers. The word Love that shouldn't be thrown around has finally caught up with us. Funny thing is, we both felt it along time ago, just couldn't bare or scared to say the phrase that matters so much in what we call a relationship. When people tell me 'love you' out of something instead of saying 'bye', come on now, i'll live still if you just say bye, don't love me because we're friends, love me because i've made a difference.
Wednesday, June 04, 2003
Listening to Brian McKnight - Shoulda Woulda Coulda
Going through my rounds as I find myself gaining almost a lot more things that I felt I would have. Does anything make any sense to me when I hear music pass through my ears. I look around and find the possessions moving on with me. My first pack of stuff was left in a familiar place for most, but not for all. Since the time that I had been here, I've purchased or gained some interesting belongings. As I put more bundles into bundles, I continue a life that is unwritten. I keep moving into an empty whole that is ready to be filled with more. I look back at all my regrets, all the things that I could have made possible, but there are some reasons why I didn't decide to put those ideas into use. Look where I am now, with those regrets made, here's to you, I'm moving on without and I'm fine. Here is to the wingman, because without them, this life is dull. And who do I speak of when I speak of wingman...everyone that's made a difference. Believe me, small or big, differences are made.
Going through my rounds as I find myself gaining almost a lot more things that I felt I would have. Does anything make any sense to me when I hear music pass through my ears. I look around and find the possessions moving on with me. My first pack of stuff was left in a familiar place for most, but not for all. Since the time that I had been here, I've purchased or gained some interesting belongings. As I put more bundles into bundles, I continue a life that is unwritten. I keep moving into an empty whole that is ready to be filled with more. I look back at all my regrets, all the things that I could have made possible, but there are some reasons why I didn't decide to put those ideas into use. Look where I am now, with those regrets made, here's to you, I'm moving on without and I'm fine. Here is to the wingman, because without them, this life is dull. And who do I speak of when I speak of wingman...everyone that's made a difference. Believe me, small or big, differences are made.
Tuesday, June 03, 2003
Sounds of Linkin Park - Breaking The Habits
What do I do now? Where do I go? What will I do? How can I live on now? Is it time for me to move on? Do I have what I need to continue on with my life? I scratch my head as I lay down in my bed, trying to figure out what I am supposed to do with my life now that I have graduated. I have my girlfriend, some money, a home, but no job. I believe I'll find one. I don't mind being a mailman for some huge company. I've gotta start somewhere, right? In the meantime, I'll be moving back home to SF. I need to get out of this hot weather and to an even extreme cold. My mind has been made up, San Jose is not for me. I don't know exactly what is for me, venue wise. All I know is that San Jose has too much for me to stay, so I must step in the direction of whatever it is. For now, read on cause I'm not sure how long it will be when I blog again, friendster has taken grasp of me. The monster is starting to get boring because the use of the program is the same. I question the internet these days.
What do I do now? Where do I go? What will I do? How can I live on now? Is it time for me to move on? Do I have what I need to continue on with my life? I scratch my head as I lay down in my bed, trying to figure out what I am supposed to do with my life now that I have graduated. I have my girlfriend, some money, a home, but no job. I believe I'll find one. I don't mind being a mailman for some huge company. I've gotta start somewhere, right? In the meantime, I'll be moving back home to SF. I need to get out of this hot weather and to an even extreme cold. My mind has been made up, San Jose is not for me. I don't know exactly what is for me, venue wise. All I know is that San Jose has too much for me to stay, so I must step in the direction of whatever it is. For now, read on cause I'm not sure how long it will be when I blog again, friendster has taken grasp of me. The monster is starting to get boring because the use of the program is the same. I question the internet these days.
Wednesday, May 28, 2003
Tuesday, May 27, 2003
Listening to the air that passes through hollow gap between my ears
The best advice that I have given to one, yet all of my close encounters of this kind is...relationship.
I speak what is best, yet it is only my opinion. Even the best of people have problems with their significant persons in their lives. Tell you the truth, even I have these problems with my girlfriend. The solution to most quarrels, conflicts, errors is communication. Yet, do not entirely use this as the result may become tiresome. I'm not here to tell you how to fix your troubles with yours, but only to help you understand the person that is angry or pissed off at you. If you do not try to know that person, then nothing is worth working.
The best advice that I have given to one, yet all of my close encounters of this kind is...relationship.
I speak what is best, yet it is only my opinion. Even the best of people have problems with their significant persons in their lives. Tell you the truth, even I have these problems with my girlfriend. The solution to most quarrels, conflicts, errors is communication. Yet, do not entirely use this as the result may become tiresome. I'm not here to tell you how to fix your troubles with yours, but only to help you understand the person that is angry or pissed off at you. If you do not try to know that person, then nothing is worth working.
Thursday, May 22, 2003
Sweating my pains off with Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
In due time we all say farewell to such things, though we feel that good-bye's may be too much for some to handle. I lead my life believing that in front of me I will try to succeed in all I do. Thinking positively is not entirely the correct way of thinking. We all fail in some things. We all put our heads down in disbelief once or twice in this eccentric world. Over and over, we deal with obstacles that push us more away from what we are pulling ourselves to reach. Like the rest of us, my colleagues, my friends, my family, my world around me is the strength that empowers me, us, to stay on our two feet. God has given us arms and our hands and our fingers to guide our body to pick ourselvses back up. And for the misfortunate souls who've lost these limbs, we look for friends, around us to assist us in helping us with taking on goals. On other perspectives, there is always the occasional question of the what if's. (to be continued)
In due time we all say farewell to such things, though we feel that good-bye's may be too much for some to handle. I lead my life believing that in front of me I will try to succeed in all I do. Thinking positively is not entirely the correct way of thinking. We all fail in some things. We all put our heads down in disbelief once or twice in this eccentric world. Over and over, we deal with obstacles that push us more away from what we are pulling ourselves to reach. Like the rest of us, my colleagues, my friends, my family, my world around me is the strength that empowers me, us, to stay on our two feet. God has given us arms and our hands and our fingers to guide our body to pick ourselvses back up. And for the misfortunate souls who've lost these limbs, we look for friends, around us to assist us in helping us with taking on goals. On other perspectives, there is always the occasional question of the what if's. (to be continued)
Sunday, May 18, 2003
Sharing the sounds of life with Breaking The Habit - Linkin Park
Los Angeles - IHATEDISLIKE IT. My sanity was controlled by my significant. The traffic, the weather, the constant a/c, the entrance and exiting merging lanes onto the fast lanes, the reason for so many accidents is because of their faster flow of traffic, the three or more merging freeways every three miles, the three lanes or less causing the traffic, the smog, the yuck feeling once you stand outside, the Lakers, the Angels, the scary feeling that the city will be attacked because the outside feel that LA is an important city. If we take LA from the world, what would happen? We would have more water to distribute amongst the people of California, esp. San Jose, the clusters of brown air will be non-existent, movies will get better because most of the good movies were made external LA, independent films are better, according to my significant. The weekend was expanded our relationship to even greater heights. May it be slightly or over the bakod, sleeping on separate couches as we sleep in a cabin-like environment. Waking to the sounds of Jackie, Ali, and Coops beating those...glass doors. You fit perfectly in your family, yet I feel you have your own identity, own personality to offer your family. Your contribution to my life is worth-while. I enjoyed your family presence. Significant? Here is to Kettlemen City, Wasco, Commerce for letting us sleep under your lights because we were so tired. Armando and Stitch for dancing when the Ska-Punk Cover CD was playing. To the five cars that we able to pass me on highway 5 because everyone is slow, to Figueroa and Hollywood exits, ya'll suck. 110N and S, 101N and S, if ya'll were binary numbers, i'd love ya, but i hate ya. With another memorable weekend behind me, I say hello to reality, back to the clean air. Bay Area, take advantage of what you have now because this weather is the bomb. The hottest day in the Bay is still way better than the average day in LA. Thank you for inviting me Aivy-Bear. Everything was fun, except for the traffic. The food was great. woohoo..."Who's Paul?" "Forget this, I quit." "Terminate the call n@#$%." "Being irish and ilocano negate each other."
Los Angeles - I
Thursday, May 15, 2003
Listening to Isn't She Lovely - Stevie Wonder
Bringing my life back to when I was just entering college. That was far back, way back. I was single, unpopular, smart, and full of happiness. After nearly six years, I am now in a wonderful relationship, my own identity, intelligent, and still full of happiness. After nearly six years, I reminisce on all the incredible memories. After nearly six years, the ups and downs have made a smoother path in front. After nearly six years, I've grown six years too much to say goodbye. Quite possibly, it would have all been over after four and a half years, unfortunately, the school of computer science denied my existence as one of their own. Luckily, the faithful step into 'engineering' pursued my directional hypothesis. As for six years of friends and friendships, relationships, all of you I will never forget. I can't believe I've sat in front of that student union for eleven semesters. What? Not twelve? My first semester was my way to explore the dorms with my pals Liza, Sheryl, Kari. If it hadn't been for Alliance for Minority Participation (AMP), I wouldn't have met the exclusive group of individuals that I call my 'engineering buddies'. Though most of us were in engineering or computer science, most of us ended up in the inevitable Industrial Technology courses, currently graduating together.
You may go through college with one set of friends, and then suddenly jump to a new 'clic'. According to how my ways, the new always set in while the old still stay. Edison, I finally got you to go to an Akbayan event. Even though it took six years. Valley West Apartments!!! Yeah buddy. Goodness. I made way to many great friends, and zero bad ones. If it wasn't for the friendships, I'd still be in school right now...haha. Even though its still kind of early, here it goes:
Acknowledgements (Part I)
To the people of AMP...woohoo $900 for 4 weeks of nothing.
To Akbayan...leave me alone, I'll come back...when I want to.
To e.W.o...what can I say, that's my family. no really. that's my family. two brothers.
To Akbayan Cabinet Spring 2000...must I say more.
To Flowerboy...you know I'm there, tryin' to keep your eyes off those other booties.
To Miranda Park...you helped Akbayan get back on its feet. tito sonni will never die!
To my teachers...ya'll suck!!! esp. you Dr. Day, Math129a. my first F. <^> O-O
To my Valley West roomies...those were the days. the view was great, right over the pool.
To P.R.I.M.E...we were the dopest singing group of its time, too bad time stood still. we were good...right?
To PCN1999...that script will be resurrected.
To <||>...Man Down! <||>barrelman fragged <||>reckanoize with M4A1 SD
(more later- including Friendship Games 1997-2003, Carlyle, Peanuts, Food Bazaar, Ulo, and much more)
Bringing my life back to when I was just entering college. That was far back, way back. I was single, unpopular, smart, and full of happiness. After nearly six years, I am now in a wonderful relationship, my own identity, intelligent, and still full of happiness. After nearly six years, I reminisce on all the incredible memories. After nearly six years, the ups and downs have made a smoother path in front. After nearly six years, I've grown six years too much to say goodbye. Quite possibly, it would have all been over after four and a half years, unfortunately, the school of computer science denied my existence as one of their own. Luckily, the faithful step into 'engineering' pursued my directional hypothesis. As for six years of friends and friendships, relationships, all of you I will never forget. I can't believe I've sat in front of that student union for eleven semesters. What? Not twelve? My first semester was my way to explore the dorms with my pals Liza, Sheryl, Kari. If it hadn't been for Alliance for Minority Participation (AMP), I wouldn't have met the exclusive group of individuals that I call my 'engineering buddies'. Though most of us were in engineering or computer science, most of us ended up in the inevitable Industrial Technology courses, currently graduating together.
You may go through college with one set of friends, and then suddenly jump to a new 'clic'. According to how my ways, the new always set in while the old still stay. Edison, I finally got you to go to an Akbayan event. Even though it took six years. Valley West Apartments!!! Yeah buddy. Goodness. I made way to many great friends, and zero bad ones. If it wasn't for the friendships, I'd still be in school right now...haha. Even though its still kind of early, here it goes:
Acknowledgements (Part I)
To the people of AMP...woohoo $900 for 4 weeks of nothing.
To Akbayan...leave me alone, I'll come back...when I want to.
To e.W.o...what can I say, that's my family. no really. that's my family. two brothers.
To Akbayan Cabinet Spring 2000...must I say more.
To Flowerboy...you know I'm there, tryin' to keep your eyes off those other booties.
To Miranda Park...you helped Akbayan get back on its feet. tito sonni will never die!
To my teachers...ya'll suck!!! esp. you Dr. Day, Math129a. my first F. <^> O-O
To my Valley West roomies...those were the days. the view was great, right over the pool.
To P.R.I.M.E...we were the dopest singing group of its time, too bad time stood still. we were good...right?
To PCN1999...that script will be resurrected.
To <||>...Man Down! <||>barrelman fragged <||>reckanoize with M4A1 SD
(more later- including Friendship Games 1997-2003, Carlyle, Peanuts, Food Bazaar, Ulo, and much more)
Wednesday, May 14, 2003
Listening to Michael Jackson Medley
I've had the weirdest dreams lately. Both of them are about or related to Akbayan.
Dream One Sequence - It was like a low budget production of our PCS that recently just passed. Jebus. I was like running back and forth through a maze of hallways trying to get to the stage. The stage was completely blackened except for the fangirls, princess, umbrella-girl and clappers. From the look of this dream, its singkil that we're performing. It hasn't reached my part yet, so I go off stage and look around through a lobby that brings me to my old high school's lobby. My dream continues to get even more weird. I'm like in the audience and I see that my friend gail is in the prince outfit that I wore (sorry gail) and I was like, its not my time to enter the dance yet. It is almost time, so I run along backstage and then I warp into another dream that was senseless because all I did was stand there. From what it seemed, I stood there for at least five minutes. Suddenly, I jump back into my previous PCS dream, and I find out that singkil entourage are sitting backstage feeling a sense of relief. Tears begin run down my face, and an urge of emotional sadness flows through my physical body. Still in my dream, I fell to my knees and cried to myself while everyone just sat there and watched. After that, I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock because I had a 730 class. Dreams are really weird.
Dream Two Sequence - This is the weird dream that I spoke to Adan about. For some reason everyone tried to grab the socks that he was trying to wear. And then, with what I did, assuming that it would be funny, I took his socks and ran. When I was hiding, I stretched them out super long...like from regular sized socks to almost 6-feet. Remember: its a dream. When I handed him his socks, he got really mad at me. And then after, everyone started calling me mean. Kind of like the way Alexis tells everyone is mean. So I ran, while everyone started to fade out. Why am I having these dreams?
I've had the weirdest dreams lately. Both of them are about or related to Akbayan.
Dream One Sequence - It was like a low budget production of our PCS that recently just passed. Jebus. I was like running back and forth through a maze of hallways trying to get to the stage. The stage was completely blackened except for the fangirls, princess, umbrella-girl and clappers. From the look of this dream, its singkil that we're performing. It hasn't reached my part yet, so I go off stage and look around through a lobby that brings me to my old high school's lobby. My dream continues to get even more weird. I'm like in the audience and I see that my friend gail is in the prince outfit that I wore (sorry gail) and I was like, its not my time to enter the dance yet. It is almost time, so I run along backstage and then I warp into another dream that was senseless because all I did was stand there. From what it seemed, I stood there for at least five minutes. Suddenly, I jump back into my previous PCS dream, and I find out that singkil entourage are sitting backstage feeling a sense of relief. Tears begin run down my face, and an urge of emotional sadness flows through my physical body. Still in my dream, I fell to my knees and cried to myself while everyone just sat there and watched. After that, I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock because I had a 730 class. Dreams are really weird.
Dream Two Sequence - This is the weird dream that I spoke to Adan about. For some reason everyone tried to grab the socks that he was trying to wear. And then, with what I did, assuming that it would be funny, I took his socks and ran. When I was hiding, I stretched them out super long...like from regular sized socks to almost 6-feet. Remember: its a dream. When I handed him his socks, he got really mad at me. And then after, everyone started calling me mean. Kind of like the way Alexis tells everyone is mean. So I ran, while everyone started to fade out. Why am I having these dreams?
Sunday, May 11, 2003
Listening to Breaking The Habit - Linkin Park
My saturday seemed like such a thing you would see in a Lions Gate Film. Is it ever possible that reality is just a television or movie for some greater being? Are we forced to believe that there is a matrix, that we are stage props for someone's more popular life. Is there a boundary that we can't bare to surpass because our fears limit us from what's out there?
Second Level of Hell
You have come to a place mute of all light, where the wind bellows as the sea does in a tempest. This is the realm where the lustful spend eternity. Here, sinners are blown around endlessly by the unforgiving winds of unquenchable desire as punishment for their transgressions. The infernal hurricane that never rests hurtles the spirits onward in its rapine, whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. You have betrayed reason at the behest of your appetite for pleasure, and so here you are doomed to remain. Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate.
My saturday seemed like such a thing you would see in a Lions Gate Film. Is it ever possible that reality is just a television or movie for some greater being? Are we forced to believe that there is a matrix, that we are stage props for someone's more popular life. Is there a boundary that we can't bare to surpass because our fears limit us from what's out there?
Second Level of Hell
You have come to a place mute of all light, where the wind bellows as the sea does in a tempest. This is the realm where the lustful spend eternity. Here, sinners are blown around endlessly by the unforgiving winds of unquenchable desire as punishment for their transgressions. The infernal hurricane that never rests hurtles the spirits onward in its rapine, whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. You have betrayed reason at the behest of your appetite for pleasure, and so here you are doomed to remain. Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate.
Friday, May 09, 2003
Listening to the late sounds of socom
"With my Stitch on lap as I play, I think about her sleeping in my bed. So warm, and so precious that she lays in my blankets. I'll be there soon, but not late. Finally, as we lay in one another's arms, my breath will eventually pace with yours, my body temperature will raise and use each other as generator's of heat. Sleep well my off-stage princess, for thou will be awakening soon, to flow into the realities of life. Fearless features of friend fawn. Good nite."
"With my Stitch on lap as I play, I think about her sleeping in my bed. So warm, and so precious that she lays in my blankets. I'll be there soon, but not late. Finally, as we lay in one another's arms, my breath will eventually pace with yours, my body temperature will raise and use each other as generator's of heat. Sleep well my off-stage princess, for thou will be awakening soon, to flow into the realities of life. Fearless features of friend fawn. Good nite."
Tuesday, May 06, 2003
Listening to the fan in my computer
"Weird stuff occurs when moods change. Wondering why, trying to understand how, and wanting to know what can be done. Am I as bad as I feel I am?"
My rating is high for my disorder. Aivy tells me that I need attention. My whole youthful experience gained attention from mainly my family. Almost a year ago, the whole place I can ask for attention is when I go back home. People around school have others to think about while I had my mind on my own. To this present day, she tells me that all the attention I need in this part of my life comes from a single soul, body, mind. And it is so true. The spoiling that I give was said, and now the type of spoiling on my behalf is histrionic. Best in life my.
To my papa, Happy Birthday. My apologies that I didn't get a chance to say Happy Birthday, but I told you how I usually feel. You taught me well. The patience and low-temper has given me a life of pace-slow measurements. Though I feel you will not be reading this, my mind and spirit embraces your well being that you are the best father this son can have. Best in life my.
And people...please, read me - and keep me here. not there.
"Weird stuff occurs when moods change. Wondering why, trying to understand how, and wanting to know what can be done. Am I as bad as I feel I am?"
My rating is high for my disorder. Aivy tells me that I need attention. My whole youthful experience gained attention from mainly my family. Almost a year ago, the whole place I can ask for attention is when I go back home. People around school have others to think about while I had my mind on my own. To this present day, she tells me that all the attention I need in this part of my life comes from a single soul, body, mind. And it is so true. The spoiling that I give was said, and now the type of spoiling on my behalf is histrionic. Best in life my.
To my papa, Happy Birthday. My apologies that I didn't get a chance to say Happy Birthday, but I told you how I usually feel. You taught me well. The patience and low-temper has given me a life of pace-slow measurements. Though I feel you will not be reading this, my mind and spirit embraces your well being that you are the best father this son can have. Best in life my.
And people...please, read me - and keep me here. not there.
Monday, May 05, 2003
Thursday, May 01, 2003
I'm not done yet. My picks for Fall 2003 Akbayan Cabinet. it's like they're a sporting draft. sheesh.
Pres: Jonas *interned
VP: Allen *experience
sec: Gail
treas: Blake
social: Alexis
cultural: Leanne
PR: Vesper, Kathleen
Newsletter: Michelle
Webmaster: Rhia
Community: Ann
Historian: Aldrich *experience
Scary, but I think they can accept the torch with "pride, dignity, and enthusiasm."
Pres: Jonas *interned
VP: Allen *experience
sec: Gail
treas: Blake
social: Alexis
cultural: Leanne
PR: Vesper, Kathleen
Newsletter: Michelle
Webmaster: Rhia
Community: Ann
Historian: Aldrich *experience
Scary, but I think they can accept the torch with "pride, dignity, and enthusiasm."
Listening to Piece of My Heart
I updated some more on the links column. I haven't updated my list in so long. There you go people, I want to be able to become a source that you all can look to as a guide because I have nothing else to do. Yes I do. I have the option of making a certain someone glow. She is my glow-worm. Wiggle my shingle. At this moment, I'm wondering where she could be, but I'm trying not to worry. I could pick up the phone and find out where she is, but I shall continue to wait online or whatever. Being the boyfriend that I am, I like to believe that my mind is on her and other things. She's out there, nearly and under thirty miles away doing her thing. The greatest part of our relationship is the freedom and independence we give each and one another. She does her thing, and I do mine. Some people think that there are no awkward moments between her and I, but there are. What? Do you think that we're 1 and 1, 2 and 2. We're normal human beings that know faithfulness and honesty-driven personalities make things work.
"I Love You". Do we need to say something we don't know means? I'm not going to assumingly feel that these three words are going to make things better. Its a feeling that just comes out one day. I admit that the "I lahhh..." part comes out, but I usually stop and then the bulb above her head brightens and digs through my mouth wondering what I was about to say. It happens, but sometime it doesn't happen. Words can't bring two people alone, but words, actions, and emotions bring forth the undying feeling, presence of divinity, that a simple 4-letter word can purposely make another feel.
Bunny. I like you...a lot. You make the shine of the sun blaze across the distance, giving me a warm spray of sigh. Mushy-mushy. Bleh!
I updated some more on the links column. I haven't updated my list in so long. There you go people, I want to be able to become a source that you all can look to as a guide because I have nothing else to do. Yes I do. I have the option of making a certain someone glow. She is my glow-worm. Wiggle my shingle. At this moment, I'm wondering where she could be, but I'm trying not to worry. I could pick up the phone and find out where she is, but I shall continue to wait online or whatever. Being the boyfriend that I am, I like to believe that my mind is on her and other things. She's out there, nearly and under thirty miles away doing her thing. The greatest part of our relationship is the freedom and independence we give each and one another. She does her thing, and I do mine. Some people think that there are no awkward moments between her and I, but there are. What? Do you think that we're 1 and 1, 2 and 2. We're normal human beings that know faithfulness and honesty-driven personalities make things work.
"I Love You". Do we need to say something we don't know means? I'm not going to assumingly feel that these three words are going to make things better. Its a feeling that just comes out one day. I admit that the "I lahhh..." part comes out, but I usually stop and then the bulb above her head brightens and digs through my mouth wondering what I was about to say. It happens, but sometime it doesn't happen. Words can't bring two people alone, but words, actions, and emotions bring forth the undying feeling, presence of divinity, that a simple 4-letter word can purposely make another feel.
Bunny. I like you...a lot. You make the shine of the sun blaze across the distance, giving me a warm spray of sigh. Mushy-mushy. Bleh!
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