Listening to --- Extreme - More Than Words
The second version of akbayan's pcn script is on its way. The best feeling about this script is that its...
Like I'm going to tell you people. Don't worry, it's decent. If you could find meaning in my piece below, then you know the script...good luck.
"The lives tend to move forward step by step, obstacle by obstacle. In cases that may follow such a path takes pride, dignity, and wisdom. What pushes to go further is the strength of loss. The greatest part of family is the ability to be close no matter how far or how near. The worst part of family is the love for the mistakes that members of all may take. The line ahead will go straight as long as your mind doesn't rest for curvatures."
How bout that? Can you make a story off of that? I have.
Aivy Roma --- Its late and you should be getting home from anaheim within the next few hours. I know you're going to read this immediately, so...I'm sleeping, fell asleep at probably 6am. I don't have a car because my brother took it to work. Whenever possible, come here. I miss you.
Monday, December 30, 2002
Saturday, December 28, 2002
Listening to --- MJ - Remember The Time
Wondering why sleeping late just happens.
"Seasons come and go, but luckily they come right back a year later. Sitting in the midnight spiritual building listening and contemplating why happiness is dedicated to this day of blessing for the birth of the Son of Him. Through my wondering mind gives a particular thought that demands what it may take to give such a day to be among the other days such as this one. The giving of presents and the smiles of laughter spread throughout a majority of this world. And now we come to find out the cynical expressions and deliberate accusations across catholic citizens. Strange to find out such stories that can destroy such a great and fulfilling tradition." (12/25)
"Looking straight feeling comfort when isolated from anyone 'round the perimeter or the area. Clicking a button and finding transportation that seems most helpful for pounds of heavy objects. Until the time my findings are entering another's area. Eyes straight and up looking at blinking lights, red digital numbers, listening with ears to beeps and clings, smelling the sniffs of my nose as the person next is minding one's own business. Sometimes wondering why people mind their own business. Going into someone's possession to walk in is awkward for some when lonliness is among them. Single instead of dual, or double is how this rumor can be outside and newly made. When suddenly a certain coincidence happens to such a group that they find each other as a team wondering such an event could ever happen to them." (12/26)
My Quote of the Day: "Blow out candles again flowing into the sky like melting smoke and tainted wax."
Wondering why sleeping late just happens.
"Seasons come and go, but luckily they come right back a year later. Sitting in the midnight spiritual building listening and contemplating why happiness is dedicated to this day of blessing for the birth of the Son of Him. Through my wondering mind gives a particular thought that demands what it may take to give such a day to be among the other days such as this one. The giving of presents and the smiles of laughter spread throughout a majority of this world. And now we come to find out the cynical expressions and deliberate accusations across catholic citizens. Strange to find out such stories that can destroy such a great and fulfilling tradition." (12/25)
"Looking straight feeling comfort when isolated from anyone 'round the perimeter or the area. Clicking a button and finding transportation that seems most helpful for pounds of heavy objects. Until the time my findings are entering another's area. Eyes straight and up looking at blinking lights, red digital numbers, listening with ears to beeps and clings, smelling the sniffs of my nose as the person next is minding one's own business. Sometimes wondering why people mind their own business. Going into someone's possession to walk in is awkward for some when lonliness is among them. Single instead of dual, or double is how this rumor can be outside and newly made. When suddenly a certain coincidence happens to such a group that they find each other as a team wondering such an event could ever happen to them." (12/26)
My Quote of the Day: "Blow out candles again flowing into the sky like melting smoke and tainted wax."
Friday, December 20, 2002
Listening to --- DNH - Sexy Underwear
Isolated from the chilly weather that pierces my skin like a spoon left in a freezer for a day
"My ligaments move from side to side contemplating to the deliberate sounds that thud across the air."
---hehehe sorry. i got really lazy. that's it. oh and yay! all my blog entries are back!!!
My Quote of the Day: "Beating blood flows becoming a graceful conscious sparkle."
Isolated from the chilly weather that pierces my skin like a spoon left in a freezer for a day
"My ligaments move from side to side contemplating to the deliberate sounds that thud across the air."
---hehehe sorry. i got really lazy. that's it. oh and yay! all my blog entries are back!!!
My Quote of the Day: "Beating blood flows becoming a graceful conscious sparkle."
Wednesday, December 18, 2002
Sitting in utter and faintless breezes of the winter winds press against my window
"Happiness endures as numbers and letters configure the revelances on how progress precedes.
Long nights and wasteful days shift to days on end making no such profits in my days.
Days forth will become unheard devouring such flowing piles of nothings that wished to succeed.
Making no sense once again you can't expect every line to be so simple to fade.
This word to word, bouncing poetic tendencies find ways to make your ears become so attentive.
Clicking these keys that make my words give meaning to the times forever at piece.
The correct words do conjure to the ways found so do not feel that grammar isn't so selective.
Forth and mostly the loins and lines form this shapely form to not become unleashed."
My Quote of the Day: "Intelligence is speaking, smart is knowing, abstract is unlimited."
"Happiness endures as numbers and letters configure the revelances on how progress precedes.
Long nights and wasteful days shift to days on end making no such profits in my days.
Days forth will become unheard devouring such flowing piles of nothings that wished to succeed.
Making no sense once again you can't expect every line to be so simple to fade.
This word to word, bouncing poetic tendencies find ways to make your ears become so attentive.
Clicking these keys that make my words give meaning to the times forever at piece.
The correct words do conjure to the ways found so do not feel that grammar isn't so selective.
Forth and mostly the loins and lines form this shapely form to not become unleashed."
My Quote of the Day: "Intelligence is speaking, smart is knowing, abstract is unlimited."
Sunday, December 15, 2002
Sitting in silence with a faint IM ring in the back room
"Read this straight because once again I'll only say it once.
I write this blogger as a way to reflect on the many obstacles not only I face, but as my surroundings.
This may sound strange but most of my entries encourage others to write...vent...open up.
Is it that hard to open up to most people that they would rather have people read about them.
I shrug and answer my phone at this late of night by a friend who just turned nineteen.
Collecting each IM window finding out what people are doing that keep them up late.
Understanding that finals is half over and the era of late up staying is present.
For myself, this recent times just get me to think of comfortability.
As the out-standing friendships further and move inward or outward,
the craziness of minds flows like a square wheel.
My mind is blanking filling with words that won't usually make sense.
The new topic coming to mind is a new environment that once came along not too long ago.
Faces that smile and joyous occassions that could turn bad, but the tide will not turn.
The rain will surround us all with a cleansing of richness.
The soil anews the rythym that rhymes in our hearts.
This is just nonsense.
Leave this alone and let it rest for the future is nothing to look forward to.
Look in front of you and people will find the answers.
I have."
Why am I coming out from hiding once again? It has always been true that I keep a lot of my thoughts suppressed only to be released by the incorrect source. Well, I write tonight because I lay here in bed with so many thoughts that I can't talk about with just anyone. There's only a few people that I could talk to, and I feel like I'm losing that connection with these people. I hardly see them because I feel my priority in life is no longer valid. I don't know what to do. Even when I try talking about it, I get bombarded with an opposite reaction that I'd once again just keep it all inside. Am I losing my mind? Probably not, because I've dealt with this over and over in my life. Maybe, but what really is my problem? I ask for too much? I expect one thing, and when something else occurs, I'm back into my little hole. Mid-life crisis? Oh come on now, it's going to happen someday, or maybe I'm just going through it all without thought, without realizing that I'm getting older every second and I have nothing to show for it. I"m single, or I'm taken. I don't really know. Just when I believe that I'm happy, I'm sad and upset and angry and unwilling to accept the situation. But what do I do? I accept it because I have hope. But that hope is fading away. Don't get me wrong, I want to try. I want to wait. Well, why does it hurt every night waiting for something doesn't seem like it'll happen in my life time. The only reason I blog is because I'm hurt, and there's no where else to turn to. No one else to talk to because that one person you really want to talk to doesn't appear to listen anymore. Maybe it's my problem and I've stopped listening. Before I would cry about all this, but I've seized from crying because crying is something that I've done a lot. If I no longer cry, then I won't get hurt. Hide the pain. But it hurts so much. I'm thinking this thing called love doesn't exist in me because it comes and I hope it's there, but it doesn't feel like it. Maybe at first, but why doesn't it stay. What is love? I love you. I say it with so much affection but when I hear it return, my heart doesn't feel it. Love is difficult because it involves two people. Putting so much faith in person that you pray so hard that that person would love you the way you would. That they would care about the same way everytime you see each other. I don't feel that anymore. Maybe it's time to let go. Is it worth trying anymore?
12/15-16/08 12:32am
"Read this straight because once again I'll only say it once.
I write this blogger as a way to reflect on the many obstacles not only I face, but as my surroundings.
This may sound strange but most of my entries encourage others to write...vent...open up.
Is it that hard to open up to most people that they would rather have people read about them.
I shrug and answer my phone at this late of night by a friend who just turned nineteen.
Collecting each IM window finding out what people are doing that keep them up late.
Understanding that finals is half over and the era of late up staying is present.
For myself, this recent times just get me to think of comfortability.
As the out-standing friendships further and move inward or outward,
the craziness of minds flows like a square wheel.
My mind is blanking filling with words that won't usually make sense.
The new topic coming to mind is a new environment that once came along not too long ago.
Faces that smile and joyous occassions that could turn bad, but the tide will not turn.
The rain will surround us all with a cleansing of richness.
The soil anews the rythym that rhymes in our hearts.
This is just nonsense.
Leave this alone and let it rest for the future is nothing to look forward to.
Look in front of you and people will find the answers.
I have."
Why am I coming out from hiding once again? It has always been true that I keep a lot of my thoughts suppressed only to be released by the incorrect source. Well, I write tonight because I lay here in bed with so many thoughts that I can't talk about with just anyone. There's only a few people that I could talk to, and I feel like I'm losing that connection with these people. I hardly see them because I feel my priority in life is no longer valid. I don't know what to do. Even when I try talking about it, I get bombarded with an opposite reaction that I'd once again just keep it all inside. Am I losing my mind? Probably not, because I've dealt with this over and over in my life. Maybe, but what really is my problem? I ask for too much? I expect one thing, and when something else occurs, I'm back into my little hole. Mid-life crisis? Oh come on now, it's going to happen someday, or maybe I'm just going through it all without thought, without realizing that I'm getting older every second and I have nothing to show for it. I"m single, or I'm taken. I don't really know. Just when I believe that I'm happy, I'm sad and upset and angry and unwilling to accept the situation. But what do I do? I accept it because I have hope. But that hope is fading away. Don't get me wrong, I want to try. I want to wait. Well, why does it hurt every night waiting for something doesn't seem like it'll happen in my life time. The only reason I blog is because I'm hurt, and there's no where else to turn to. No one else to talk to because that one person you really want to talk to doesn't appear to listen anymore. Maybe it's my problem and I've stopped listening. Before I would cry about all this, but I've seized from crying because crying is something that I've done a lot. If I no longer cry, then I won't get hurt. Hide the pain. But it hurts so much. I'm thinking this thing called love doesn't exist in me because it comes and I hope it's there, but it doesn't feel like it. Maybe at first, but why doesn't it stay. What is love? I love you. I say it with so much affection but when I hear it return, my heart doesn't feel it. Love is difficult because it involves two people. Putting so much faith in person that you pray so hard that that person would love you the way you would. That they would care about the same way everytime you see each other. I don't feel that anymore. Maybe it's time to let go. Is it worth trying anymore?
12/15-16/08 12:32am
Wednesday, December 11, 2002
Stop swearing AND STOP smoking!
(HOPEyouCANreadTHIS...theSPACEBARisn'tWORKING)
"thespacearoundmefeelstobecompletelyopenfornewopportunities...
thepeoplearoundmeseemtobefallingbehindormovingupbeforeme...
thetendencytokeepmymindoccupiedwithdataisfluctuatingaway...
theurgetomoveforwardisslowlydeterioratingintoanemptymist...
theclickofaclickworksnotgivingmysenseofabnoraltypingstyle...
theconfusionofthiswilllongforeverraidthemindwithbaffle...
themindbehindthemindwillsooncomeoutandjoingreatstuff...
theheartmustbranchouttodifferentareasofregionofchoice...
thereadingofwordsisstillandmostcompellingthoughtaway...
thegreatestpartaboutsuccessistakingonnewchallenges...
theworstpartaboutsuccessisanticipatinguncertainty...
thelifestyleofmanistoachievesomethingbetterthan...
WHO?
peoplecan'tpossiblyknowtheanswersthatkeephappinessalive...
peopleshouldn'tthinkdifferentlyfromtheirownthoughts...
peopletakeontheirowngoalstheirowndreams...
peoplecontinuetostriveforthosedreamsaspirationsgoals...
peoplesurviveforthemselvesandsometimesforspecialone's...
peoplelikemethinkdifferentlyfromeveryoneelse...
peoplelikeeveryoneelsethinkdifferentlyfromeveryoneelse...
peopletrytobrandideasofone'sopinionintosomeothers...
peopledon'tletpeoplebepeopleindividualbeindividual...
peoplekeepthefeelingthatwemust...
WHAT?
understandthebasicnecessitiesoflife...
understandthatwecangoonwithoutanother...
understandthepersonbesideyoucangoonwithoutyou...
understandlettinggobringsouttodifferentaspectsanew...
understandkeepingaclosenessispassion...
understandthefeelingofsighsissogreat...
understandpossessionsdon'tmakeyou...
understandyoumakepossessionspartofyou...
understandwecapturethesweetaroma...
WHY?
to live this crazy life of the norm. to write the way one is taught. to make correct grammar issues. to be what we are sometimes told. i am one of these. i wish to be free. i wish to take on challenges. i wish for a passion. i wish for path to live by."
(HOPEyouCANreadTHIS...theSPACEBARisn'tWORKING)
"thespacearoundmefeelstobecompletelyopenfornewopportunities...
thepeoplearoundmeseemtobefallingbehindormovingupbeforeme...
thetendencytokeepmymindoccupiedwithdataisfluctuatingaway...
theurgetomoveforwardisslowlydeterioratingintoanemptymist...
theclickofaclickworksnotgivingmysenseofabnoraltypingstyle...
theconfusionofthiswilllongforeverraidthemindwithbaffle...
themindbehindthemindwillsooncomeoutandjoingreatstuff...
theheartmustbranchouttodifferentareasofregionofchoice...
thereadingofwordsisstillandmostcompellingthoughtaway...
thegreatestpartaboutsuccessistakingonnewchallenges...
theworstpartaboutsuccessisanticipatinguncertainty...
thelifestyleofmanistoachievesomethingbetterthan...
WHO?
peoplecan'tpossiblyknowtheanswersthatkeephappinessalive...
peopleshouldn'tthinkdifferentlyfromtheirownthoughts...
peopletakeontheirowngoalstheirowndreams...
peoplecontinuetostriveforthosedreamsaspirationsgoals...
peoplesurviveforthemselvesandsometimesforspecialone's...
peoplelikemethinkdifferentlyfromeveryoneelse...
peoplelikeeveryoneelsethinkdifferentlyfromeveryoneelse...
peopletrytobrandideasofone'sopinionintosomeothers...
peopledon'tletpeoplebepeopleindividualbeindividual...
peoplekeepthefeelingthatwemust...
WHAT?
understandthebasicnecessitiesoflife...
understandthatwecangoonwithoutanother...
understandthepersonbesideyoucangoonwithoutyou...
understandlettinggobringsouttodifferentaspectsanew...
understandkeepingaclosenessispassion...
understandthefeelingofsighsissogreat...
understandpossessionsdon'tmakeyou...
understandyoumakepossessionspartofyou...
understandwecapturethesweetaroma...
WHY?
to live this crazy life of the norm. to write the way one is taught. to make correct grammar issues. to be what we are sometimes told. i am one of these. i wish to be free. i wish to take on challenges. i wish for a passion. i wish for path to live by."
Friday, December 06, 2002
Wednesday, December 04, 2002
6th Day - Your Call; Eraserheads - Toyang
i can't believe school and lectures are soon to be over. well, for once, i'm kind of depressed that the knowledge i've been comprehending with this summer, exclude dr. garcia's class, has really paid off. i feel that the academics of this semester will be forth into good use. well, except my programming class since computers and businesses hardly use assembly language. anyway, i'm ashamed that i accepted my first D of the semester on monday. i was being evaluated for a certain class, and then i guess its my fault because i didn't put THAT much effort into the project. well, i was getting an A in the class before that. so i'm probably at a B+/B now.
finally i realized that xmas is coming up and i have no money to buy people stuff. anyway, about that D evaluation, it seems as if a lot of the people in my major found out about my misfortune. after i received my 68%, i just told people what was asked for the evaluation. that's it. and then the next day, many more people know of my failure. its ok. i'm doing good in the class still. so HA!
i can't believe school and lectures are soon to be over. well, for once, i'm kind of depressed that the knowledge i've been comprehending with this summer, exclude dr. garcia's class, has really paid off. i feel that the academics of this semester will be forth into good use. well, except my programming class since computers and businesses hardly use assembly language. anyway, i'm ashamed that i accepted my first D of the semester on monday. i was being evaluated for a certain class, and then i guess its my fault because i didn't put THAT much effort into the project. well, i was getting an A in the class before that. so i'm probably at a B+/B now.
finally i realized that xmas is coming up and i have no money to buy people stuff. anyway, about that D evaluation, it seems as if a lot of the people in my major found out about my misfortune. after i received my 68%, i just told people what was asked for the evaluation. that's it. and then the next day, many more people know of my failure. its ok. i'm doing good in the class still. so HA!
Monday, December 02, 2002
112 - Crazy For You; 6th Day - Your Call; N'Sync - Something Like You
That's the end of that thanksgiving break. 4th Annual E-dub Thanksgiving Potluck. Thanksgiving with the fams. 3rd Annual Post-Thanksgiving Snowboarding Trip to North Tahoe. Busted my right knee take my ONE and ONLY fall going down one of the hills. Woke up in a luxurious condo at Squaw Valley resorts. Attempting to take the 5 home from Tahoe. IT WORKS!!! Finished up my LabVIEW project Saturday night. Sharks Lost. 49ers Won. Finished my 162 lab. Accomplished my 198XC assignment. Re-worked my previous 198 assignment with Aivy. Walked Aivy out and put my arms around her because she was cold. Now...I await for her to return to her venue.
Overall: Life Has Lead Me To Unexpecting Paths - My Mind Just Says Walk Forward With A Smile.
That's the end of that thanksgiving break. 4th Annual E-dub Thanksgiving Potluck. Thanksgiving with the fams. 3rd Annual Post-Thanksgiving Snowboarding Trip to North Tahoe. Busted my right knee take my ONE and ONLY fall going down one of the hills. Woke up in a luxurious condo at Squaw Valley resorts. Attempting to take the 5 home from Tahoe. IT WORKS!!! Finished up my LabVIEW project Saturday night. Sharks Lost. 49ers Won. Finished my 162 lab. Accomplished my 198XC assignment. Re-worked my previous 198 assignment with Aivy. Walked Aivy out and put my arms around her because she was cold. Now...I await for her to return to her venue.
Overall: Life Has Lead Me To Unexpecting Paths - My Mind Just Says Walk Forward With A Smile.
Sunday, December 01, 2002
Tavares - Heaven Must Be Missing An Angel
I hate it when my archives don't show. It all just sucks. I went snowboarding at boreal. ouch is the single word that explains the trip.
Since it IS the first of the month of december, and 25 days from now is the Day of Giving, here's what You can get ME...
1) 5 A's for my Fall 2k2 Semester
2) San Jose Sharks Home(white) Jersey
3) Prohibit smoking
4) Upper Deck 2k2-2k3 NHL box
5) $$$
6) A Framed Picture of the Triforce @ F'Games 2k2
7) ...more later
I hate it when my archives don't show. It all just sucks. I went snowboarding at boreal. ouch is the single word that explains the trip.
Since it IS the first of the month of december, and 25 days from now is the Day of Giving, here's what You can get ME...
1) 5 A's for my Fall 2k2 Semester
2) San Jose Sharks Home(white) Jersey
3) Prohibit smoking
4) Upper Deck 2k2-2k3 NHL box
5) $$$
6) A Framed Picture of the Triforce @ F'Games 2k2
7) ...more later