Day 1,769 and Day 57 Still Traveling, Still Providing For My Family

Traveling is increasing again. We're in the middle of a pandemic and I'm on the line behind the front line; clinic, hospital, airplanes, shuttles, rideshares. When I'm not traveling, I get to work from home, spend time with my Pre-K, newborn, and wife, who does it all when I'm not there. I appreciate all that she does when I'm not there to wash bottles, change diapers, get the kids in the car to drop off at school, and the list goes on.

We all wish for a better life, but we need to appreciate the way we have it now. It could be worse. 

I sit here at BWI, finished eating my Chipotle chicken bowl, waiting for a flight that doesn't board for another two hours. An airport that I have been to many times. After all the travel, which started a little over 14 years ago, I'm not tired of traveling, just can't get over having to say goodbye to my family. 

I told my 4 year old son that I was traveling again. This after him saying he'll see me in the morning to drop him off at school. This news didn't seem to affect him. He calls me from his iPad, which I told him that if I don't answer, it's because I'm busy with work. He then said, "I work with you". I smiled and told him that would be nice, but who would take care of Mommy and Jellie.

"I take care of them while you work."

My smart and caring son. I could go on with how beautiful and cute my daughter is, but I'll save that for another time.

Day 1,671 - 4 years, 6 months, 27 days : My Little One(s)

My little boy has been ready for the world for a while now. He'll be starting school in a couple weeks, we could only hope. Around the same time, his sister will be with us. That's right, a second bundle of joy.

We had an ultrasound appointment this past Monday. We saw our little lady, pumping her small activist fist in the air. Or maybe she's punching Mommy, screaming "I want out!"

With everything going on, we could only balance humanity by raising two children who will keep an open mind. 

My Love continues to be my number one fan, and in return, I try to be the best for her. Hopefully it isn't another couple years when you hear from me. 

 

Day 285 - 9 months, 11 days - Rolly Polly

I've started using a full face mask CPAP machine. I must admit that I have more energy. I don't get tired driving to and from work. The little screamer still wakes up during the night. I've got this routine down, but when a distraction happens, the crying just seems forever.

After J-Chub's 9-month appointment, we were told we could feed him regular food, minus peanuts and light on the omega-3s, We bought him chicken noodle. We mashed up the carrots, chicken and noodles, but he just was not taking it. We also started him on Gerber green beans, which he ate up the day before. We believe that his Hep-B and flu shot might've given him a bug. So, for maybe 7-8 days, he was literally peeing out his butt. We tried giving him as much water as he could take. We fed him normally for those days, but the only food he'd open his mouth for was Cheerios. I didn't enjoy it, but I would scoop some green bean and place a Cheerio on top. It worked for a while, but he knew he was being tricked. I really didn't like holding a Cheerio up to his mouth and putting a spoon full of green beans in. Each time, I gave him that Cheerio. The best part of this whole experience is that he didn't seem out of it. He did sleep a lot more, due to the fact that he was using all his energy to poop. The worst parts were each morning finding out that he pooped so much, it just got everywhere...his pajamas, blankets, toys, etc. You just need to be patient, and realize that your child is the one who is going through it. As a parent, you will support him, clean him, and tell him every day that he's going to be better.

Experiences help us get through it the next time it happens.

When I get home from work, he gives me a huge smile when he sees me. Coming home to my wife and son is a great feeling. Knowing you have a family to go home to. A little different when you were the child growing up and getting to hear the front door open when Dad and/or Mom came home from work. Now I'm the one that comes home and gets to relax with my loved ones.

I cherish every day that my wife stays home caring, raising, loving my son to pieces. It's not easy to do this, I could only imagine. Appreciate every day I get to teach my boy something new or old. I wish he'd let me hold him, instead of wanting to roll over and climb up my body, or play with my face.

:)

Day 225 - 7 months 14 days - Losing the routine

Nothing beats waking up with my baby boy screaming for his morning fix. Last night, we got the bed while Mommy slept on the couch. He's been taking short naps which seem to regenerate this energy that completely wipes me...us, out.

A lot of milestones keep popping out of nowhere. Crawling, sitting up, falling, and standing. He is standing before he gets the crawling down. First things first, get the crawling down, range of motion, multi-tasking with the arms and legs. Right now, he attempts to crawl, successful at times, but likely face plants. He's sitting up on his knees, popping up and down like he's going to shoot up or across the room.

Feeding him is quite a challenge. For a couple weeks now, the spoon goes in, and the spoon goes out, along with his sweet potato, or banana, or apple sauce. I seem some improvement, but the facial expressions are priceless. Don't give up, I tell myself.

Seven days ago, my birthday was very different. I didn't get to sleep in. I didn't take off work. I woke up normally as if it wasn't my birthday to change his diaper, feed him his milk. The routine wasn't going to change since it was my birthday, it was the fact that I was not only a husband, but a daddy that made me appreciate this birthday. I love my wife for giving me this gift. I think back to the movie Hook. The vision of my wife holding my son would give me that joyous feeling to make me fly.

Hopefully next time I could talk about the poopy diapers. :o]

Fast forward to Day 200

200 days ago I became a father. It's what I've wanted. To idolize my own father because growing up, I didn't have any grandpas or lolos to raise me. I had uncles, but nothing beats my one and only Dad. Will my son look up to me like I did to mine? I hope so. My wife and I made this little person. He's cute, bouncy, playful, full of smiles, but not in public. I could go on and on about my son, but I won't.

First time dad. 200 days of fatherhood and in 4 days, it'll be my first Father's Day. I've always just waited for my brothers to come up with a plan for this day. It was always fishing, a nice restaurant, or just hangout with our dad. Now I'm part of the center of attention. In my mind, I could just lock myself up in my house and spend the whole day with my wife and son. I wouldn't mind a 6 hour nap, but that's not going to happen. I honestly don't know what I'd like to do. It's like my birthday, I don't know what I want to do. I'm old enough to not care too much about my birthday, but it won't go away, so something's going to happen. I'll be x7 years old. Yeah. Not a spectacular age...

To the first-time Dads, by now you probably changed over 1,000 diapers, at a total of 5-6 hours of sleep (not at one time), and many more exhausting tasks that for some reason, you always have energy to do. I've attended all my son's doctor's appointment, even when I was just going in for a weight check. My son is a small butterball of a boy, but he'll grow...I did.

More later, time for lunch.

I'm happy great news

But once again I feel left out.  I found out through Fb that one of my longest friends got married.  Have I neglected my friends that I got overlooked?  It was the only connection I tried to keep from my youth outside of family.  Don't think it the wrong way, I'm so happy they finally got married.  Maybe it was a small wedding, so they have their reasons.  Maybe it was a destination wedding.  I just feel like I'm not good enough to celebrate their special moment. 
Life goes on. 

Satisfied

There are so many live's that seem like their life is so much more fulfilling than mine.  Then I think about what I have and realize that my life is just about the same way, just at a slower pace.  I don't need to be out every night or every weekend.  When I look back, I am out most of the time, doing my own thing.  So yes, my life is satisfying and very fulfilling. 

I went to the Philippines this past September and I had quite an experience.  Plans did get cut short, but for good reason.  I wouldn't have had it any other way.  I'm making a difference in her life, or I would like to assume, but in return, my life is brighter.  I'll eventually get to more detail on my Philippines trip in a later post. 

The Internet Sucks

Browsing the Internet could hurt .  You just don't want to see things the way they were, the way they are, or the way they may have been.  Our past is just a memory.  My mind is jumping all over the place right now.  On a happy note, I went on a non-work vacation to the Philippines.  11 days of home.  More on that later.

Six Months

The past six months have really been different.  I still enjoy watching sappy movies like Serendipity and Love Actually.  I still find myself playing video games, but not as often.  I will probably start up again when NHL13 comes out.  This year I will be once again starting the NHL13 season one week late again.  This time isn't because I'm on a work trip.  This time is because I'll be on an out of the country vacation.  I will be going to the Philippines for the first time.  

Flying from island to island is going to be like flying island to island in Alaska.  Speaking of Alaska, I've been here since Monday.  Places like Angoon and Hydaburg are only glimpses of how different these islands are different from those of my homeland.  Do I dare call it homeland since I've never considered the Philippines as home.  It is my background of my family and ethnicity.  Regardless, I hope to really enjoy this trip.  Although there for only two weeks, I will do my best to make the most of it.  

Within the last six months, I started playing ice hockey again.  It is a great feeling and keeps my mind off the stresses of life; not that I have many.  I also moved out of Milpitas and closer to the City.  We finally gave my mom her final resting place at the Columbarium.  The location is beautiful, soothing, and reflects every part of who she is.  Flowers, the ocean breeze, and space.  My brother sent me a picture of all the flowers around her space.  I miss her so much.  My life changed when she died.  

I still have memories of her dancing, smiling and all that good stuff.  Although happy times, my tears drop from my eyes and I remember that I'll never be able to hug her and tell her I love her and know for a fact that she's listening.  

She is always listening and watching over me, my brothers, my family, my Nana.  We miss you MOM!  

Happy...Mother's Day.

I was looking through the May schedule and noticed one of the hallmark holidays that I was going to think differently this year...Mother's Day.  My Nana is still there and will be celebrating with her in some way possible.  I still wish she was around physically so I could tell her how much I miss her and how much I could use her advice.  I wish she was still here.  :o(

Now I really can't sleep.